Just a rant...
There are some things that you just can't help but think about. Like "what's gonna happen when I die?" or "What the hell am gonna do with my life?". I know i'm not the only one fearing what's going to become of myself. It's just really hard to think about. Like, all these lawyers and doctors had such high grades in Highschool, and I'm failing a class or two. It's obvious, i'm not going to be a doctor or a lawyer, so how am I going to be sucessful? I'm not going to be able to get into the college that i'm planning on going to because damn Algebra is bringing my GPA down. If I don't end up going to a good college i'll end up spending the rest of my life in a burger joint working way too damn hard for minimum wage. Which goes back to "If I would've worked harder in my youth, I wouldn't be in this position." I feel like a horrible person sometimes, because I adapted to being spoiled and lazy when I was younger. I'm not saying I have bad parents, because my parents are amazing. I was...and still am hardheaded. I never listened and still don't that often. I know why i'm no good at Algebra, and I blame myself.
As for the "what happens when I die?" issue, i'm totally in a fog. I find myself stressing mostly about religon. I follow[ed] Christanity, but lately, i've become more and more confused about it. I hate not knowing if there's a God or not. Thinking about it lately, when I was younger and I got scared, I turned to my imaginary friends. Well, could God be the worlds "imaginary friend"? When the people got scared, did they invent someone to look up to? It's a liable hypothesis, seeing as everytime we go to war [which scares us] our nation turns to God for help. I guess it's better to believe, though. Because when it comes time, and there IS a God, I want to know i'm going to heaven. Which makes me think, "Being a Christian out of fear defeats the purpose".
Now I know all you good Christian folk out there stick with what you believe in, and i'm not saying that it's not right. I'm just saying I don't know if it's right for me.
That's my rant for the day :]
As for the "what happens when I die?" issue, i'm totally in a fog. I find myself stressing mostly about religon. I follow[ed] Christanity, but lately, i've become more and more confused about it. I hate not knowing if there's a God or not. Thinking about it lately, when I was younger and I got scared, I turned to my imaginary friends. Well, could God be the worlds "imaginary friend"? When the people got scared, did they invent someone to look up to? It's a liable hypothesis, seeing as everytime we go to war [which scares us] our nation turns to God for help. I guess it's better to believe, though. Because when it comes time, and there IS a God, I want to know i'm going to heaven. Which makes me think, "Being a Christian out of fear defeats the purpose".
Now I know all you good Christian folk out there stick with what you believe in, and i'm not saying that it's not right. I'm just saying I don't know if it's right for me.
That's my rant for the day :]