This is...
...the 'sequel' for 'Blessed'. Or, it was written as a sequel but I'm just posting it all as the one story. Understand? Yes? Good.
Urm...also, its written in lots of people's POV's and so since there's like 20 POV's and I don't want this to last forever, you're gonna get about four POV's in each 'part'. Okay?
Soooo...I don't know Ville or Bam and this never happened. All I own is the plot and Sami, my little angel *smooshes him*
Ryan’s POV
I don’t know what I expected when Bam announced that he and his kid were coming to stay with us for a while. I guess I expected that he would dump the kid with Ape and Phil and hang with us like before he and Ville got married and he moved all the way to fuckin Finland. I’m not sure, exactly, why they sold that house of theirs in Philly. All I know is that I’ve been kicked out of my bedroom while they’re visiting so Sami can have the room closest to Bam’s. That and the fact that Ville is arriving day after tomorrow. And I guess that means me seeing even less of my best friend.
I am jealous. I hate to say it, but I am. Jealous of a baby. Well, he’s what…two? Guess that still makes him a baby. Anyway, Bam and the baby have been here a week already and I’ve hardly spent any time with him. And whenever I am with him, Sami’s there and Bam’s attention is all focused on him, or Sami’s not there but Bam’s thoughts are on him anyway.
I had thought, the first couple of days he was here, he was just kinda getting used to being back here, you know? That soon he would relax a bit more, let Ape and Phil baby sit, that maybe he was just giving the kid time to get used to his grandparents again. Last night I thought we’d cracked it! April and Phil were out, the baby was asleep upstairs, me and Bam and Raab, Rake and DiCo were sprawled out in the living room, watching TV and drinking beers and eating chips and it was like old times. For about four hours. And then…then Sami woke up.
We could hear him over the baby monitor. He sneezed a few times. Giggled to himself. It was cute. And then he called out Dada a few times. Course, his Dada is Ville and Ville ain’t here yet. So he started getting all whiny. Began to cry properly. Would have broken my heart had I not been pissed at my evening with my best friend getting ruined. Bam got up, went to him. Could hear him lift Sami out of his crib, talking to him quietly in Finnish for a few seconds before he switched the baby monitor off.
I guess the rest of the guys were a bit pissed at the interruption too, which made me feel a bit less guilty for being annoyed at the kid. We switched off the TV, went into the kitchen to rustle up some more food. Were joined a few minutes later by Bam and Sami. Bam walked in, Sami in his arms, clinging to his t-shirt, went to the fridge and took out a bottle of milk. He walked to the microwave to heat it up, turned his back to us and we could see Sami looking at us over his shoulder - all huge teary brown eyes and pouty lips, sucking on a thumb - and I felt like…a…complete bastard. I know the rest of them did too. We watched Bam take the bottle from the microwave, test it on his inner wrist, hand it to Sami, turn and leave the kitchen, talking quietly to his son and stroking his back with his free hand.
That was like some moment of clarity. Things were never ever going to be the same for us again. Bam was a father. He didn’t need us anymore.
Bam’s POV
I carried Sami back upstairs, planning on letting him sleep in my bed with me that night. I needed some comfort. I missed Ville like hell and I was getting the impression that I wasn’t really welcome around the house anymore. I knew things would be hard. It was the first time I had been around all my friends with Sami for any extended period of time. It’s not like Sami’s a difficult child who takes up all my time and demands attention. Hell no. He’s a little angel. But despite that, my thoughts, my attention, its always on him, no matter where we are, no matter if he’s sitting on my knee, talking to me, lying in my arms, playing around my feet, asleep upstairs or perfectly safe with April and Phil.
I knew it wasn’t going to be like it was before but I didn’t think it would be like this. I didn’t think that I would feel guilty for looking after my son. I didn’t think that I would feel like I had let them down. And although I know I would feel worse about neglecting my son in favour of hanging with my friends, I still feel…confused.
“Where’s Dada?”
“Dada’s working, sweetheart…want to talk to him?”
“Yeah!”
I managed to get Ville on the phone without too much difficulty. It was four a.m. at home in Helsinki, which probably explained it. We talked to Vil for over an hour. I didn’t tell him how I felt about my friends, just pretended like everything was okay. I guess I didn’t want to admit that maybe my friends and I weren’t as close as I had always thought we were after all. And I really didn’t want to admit the new thought that had come into my head as I had watched Sami chat to Ville for a minute…I hated them. I hated them for resenting my child. Even if they only resented them for a half a second, I still hated them for it.
I sat and smiled as I listened to Vil and Sami talk. Laughed along with Sami as I heard Ville’s voice drifting over the phone line after Sami demanded a song, his beautiful deep voice singing ‘You are my sunshine’. Pulled Sami down under the covers as his eyes started to drift shut and his thumb made his way into his mouth. Let him listen to Ville singing until he was fast asleep before I picked up the phone and got to talk to my husband for the first time in what seemed like year, though the last time we spoken had been the day before. It was so damn good to hear his voice. We talked for ages before I realized how late it was where he was - or early, whatever - and let him go get some sleep.
I pulled off my jeans and shirt and crawled under the covers, holding my son close, letting that baby smell of talcum powder, milk and, if you happen to be my son, marmalade since he seems to be addicted to the stuff, lull me to sleep. Talking to Ville, even if I hadn’t told him what was going on over here, had made me feel better about things. I didn’t care what my friends thought any more. I had my son and my husband would be with us soon. And they’re all I need.
April’s POV
There’s been a strange sort of atmosphere in the house for the last week or so. One of forced smiles and conversations, many of them coming from my son. I almost get the impression that he doesn’t want to be here and I wish it wasn’t that way. I know why it is, of course. His friends are jealous as hell, and I don’t know if they’re jealous of him for having Sami or if they’re jealous of Sami for having Bam, but whichever way round it is, it’s pathetic.
Don’t get me wrong. I like Bam’s friends. Hell, I’d even go as far as to say that I think of them as my own children. Why else would I let them stay with me and Phil when Jess is on tour and Bam’s at his home in Helsinki? But right now, I wish I could throw them all out. I would if they had anyplace else to go, just so I could see Bam properly happy and relaxed in his own family home.
It’s amazing to see Bam with Sami. I never thought he would have kids. Even before he told us he was gay. He just didn’t seem the type to ever want any, to have the patience to raise a kid. But he’s a total natural. So patient, so happy when he’s with him, not embarrassed about singing a song on demand for his son in a room full of his friends, about reading a story, playing with him…I’m so proud of him. Of him and Ville both.
I’m giving Bam and Sami a lift to the airport tonight to pick Ville up. Bam could have driven himself, of course, but Sami asked if I would come and not Bam, nor Phil, nor I have the power to say no to that kid. So here I am, piling Sami into his car seat and smiling as he insists that Bam sit beside him in the back seat. It doesn’t take too long to get to the airport - it’s pretty late and the roads are nearly deserted. Bam’s hoping that the fact it’s the middle of the night will mean the airport is quieter as well and we can get in there, get Ville and get back out with no problems.
Its not that busy within the airport, as it happens. We manage to find a few rows of empty seats where we can see Ville’s gate and keep out of the general crowds. Sami’s lying on the seats beside Bam, his head on Bam’s thigh, thumb in his mouth, fighting to stay awake as he waits for his Dada. You’ve never seen a kid so excited as he was this morning when Bam reminded him that Ville was coming to see him today. I finally manage to get Bam to open up about his friends while we sit and wait, finding out that, as I suspected, Bam didn’t want them around anymore.
“I dunno Ape…it’s like…they want everything to be like we were before Ville, before Sami…and I guess that makes sense for them, but…y’know at first I felt bad. Like I was letting them down by not being the same person I was. But I don’t want to be like I was then. I hated myself then. And now I’m so happy…apart from…that I hate them for making me feel guilty about looking after my son…”
I don’t get to give any, for once wanted, motherly-advice before our conversation is interrupted by Sami leaping up and running as fast as a two year old can towards a figure in black coming towards us. Bam’s on his feet in an instant too. I’m not sure whether it was a reflex at seeing Sami spring up like that or whether it was a natural instinct of his to want to run straight to Ville as well. I think it might be a mixture of both, actually.
I get to my feet too, feeling a bit silly sitting down all by myself, and watch as Ville stops to let Sami reach him, bend down to scoop him up and swing him round in a circle before he hugs him tight and reaches out for Bam. You can’t help but smile when you see them together like that, you know. Unless you’re Bam’s friends, apparently. They’re the perfect little family. Not a conventional family, perhaps, but perfect nonetheless.
Raab’s POV
No one asked us to leave but we’re going anyway. I would make out like we knew we weren’t wanted and we didn’t feel welcome anymore but that’s not the case either. Truth is, we all feel like bastards. That night, when we sat around the kitchen cursing our night with Bam being ruined and then he came down with Sami…we all felt guilty as hell. We can hardly bring ourselves to look at either him or Sami now. And God knows that Ville is a hell of a lot more frightening than Bam and none of us want him to know how we feel - or at least felt - about his child.
To be perfectly honest, that child is perfect. I’ve not been around a lot of kids in my life, but as far as I can tell he’s pretty much an angel. He grins and giggles 90 percent of the time, talks so sweetly to people, doesn’t seem to be aware of anything other than the fact that Bam and Ville would do anything and everything he ever asked them to. I don’t wanna start getting all mushy and girly here, but to have parents like Bam and Ville…that’s one damn lucky kid.
So we’re leaving. We’re leaving them to it. That’s not to say that we’re walking out of their lives, that we don’t want to see them again, because of course we do. We just don’t wanna get in the way. Besides, I guess it was a little weird for us to be living with Bam’s parents when Bam no longer lives in this country.
We’re not making a big deal out of going. We’ll wait til sometime tomorrow, take our things and go. Leave Bam, Ville and Sami to be a family. And try not to be too jealous that we can’t be a part of it.
Urm...also, its written in lots of people's POV's and so since there's like 20 POV's and I don't want this to last forever, you're gonna get about four POV's in each 'part'. Okay?
Soooo...I don't know Ville or Bam and this never happened. All I own is the plot and Sami, my little angel *smooshes him*
Ryan’s POV
I don’t know what I expected when Bam announced that he and his kid were coming to stay with us for a while. I guess I expected that he would dump the kid with Ape and Phil and hang with us like before he and Ville got married and he moved all the way to fuckin Finland. I’m not sure, exactly, why they sold that house of theirs in Philly. All I know is that I’ve been kicked out of my bedroom while they’re visiting so Sami can have the room closest to Bam’s. That and the fact that Ville is arriving day after tomorrow. And I guess that means me seeing even less of my best friend.
I am jealous. I hate to say it, but I am. Jealous of a baby. Well, he’s what…two? Guess that still makes him a baby. Anyway, Bam and the baby have been here a week already and I’ve hardly spent any time with him. And whenever I am with him, Sami’s there and Bam’s attention is all focused on him, or Sami’s not there but Bam’s thoughts are on him anyway.
I had thought, the first couple of days he was here, he was just kinda getting used to being back here, you know? That soon he would relax a bit more, let Ape and Phil baby sit, that maybe he was just giving the kid time to get used to his grandparents again. Last night I thought we’d cracked it! April and Phil were out, the baby was asleep upstairs, me and Bam and Raab, Rake and DiCo were sprawled out in the living room, watching TV and drinking beers and eating chips and it was like old times. For about four hours. And then…then Sami woke up.
We could hear him over the baby monitor. He sneezed a few times. Giggled to himself. It was cute. And then he called out Dada a few times. Course, his Dada is Ville and Ville ain’t here yet. So he started getting all whiny. Began to cry properly. Would have broken my heart had I not been pissed at my evening with my best friend getting ruined. Bam got up, went to him. Could hear him lift Sami out of his crib, talking to him quietly in Finnish for a few seconds before he switched the baby monitor off.
I guess the rest of the guys were a bit pissed at the interruption too, which made me feel a bit less guilty for being annoyed at the kid. We switched off the TV, went into the kitchen to rustle up some more food. Were joined a few minutes later by Bam and Sami. Bam walked in, Sami in his arms, clinging to his t-shirt, went to the fridge and took out a bottle of milk. He walked to the microwave to heat it up, turned his back to us and we could see Sami looking at us over his shoulder - all huge teary brown eyes and pouty lips, sucking on a thumb - and I felt like…a…complete bastard. I know the rest of them did too. We watched Bam take the bottle from the microwave, test it on his inner wrist, hand it to Sami, turn and leave the kitchen, talking quietly to his son and stroking his back with his free hand.
That was like some moment of clarity. Things were never ever going to be the same for us again. Bam was a father. He didn’t need us anymore.
Bam’s POV
I carried Sami back upstairs, planning on letting him sleep in my bed with me that night. I needed some comfort. I missed Ville like hell and I was getting the impression that I wasn’t really welcome around the house anymore. I knew things would be hard. It was the first time I had been around all my friends with Sami for any extended period of time. It’s not like Sami’s a difficult child who takes up all my time and demands attention. Hell no. He’s a little angel. But despite that, my thoughts, my attention, its always on him, no matter where we are, no matter if he’s sitting on my knee, talking to me, lying in my arms, playing around my feet, asleep upstairs or perfectly safe with April and Phil.
I knew it wasn’t going to be like it was before but I didn’t think it would be like this. I didn’t think that I would feel guilty for looking after my son. I didn’t think that I would feel like I had let them down. And although I know I would feel worse about neglecting my son in favour of hanging with my friends, I still feel…confused.
“Where’s Dada?”
“Dada’s working, sweetheart…want to talk to him?”
“Yeah!”
I managed to get Ville on the phone without too much difficulty. It was four a.m. at home in Helsinki, which probably explained it. We talked to Vil for over an hour. I didn’t tell him how I felt about my friends, just pretended like everything was okay. I guess I didn’t want to admit that maybe my friends and I weren’t as close as I had always thought we were after all. And I really didn’t want to admit the new thought that had come into my head as I had watched Sami chat to Ville for a minute…I hated them. I hated them for resenting my child. Even if they only resented them for a half a second, I still hated them for it.
I sat and smiled as I listened to Vil and Sami talk. Laughed along with Sami as I heard Ville’s voice drifting over the phone line after Sami demanded a song, his beautiful deep voice singing ‘You are my sunshine’. Pulled Sami down under the covers as his eyes started to drift shut and his thumb made his way into his mouth. Let him listen to Ville singing until he was fast asleep before I picked up the phone and got to talk to my husband for the first time in what seemed like year, though the last time we spoken had been the day before. It was so damn good to hear his voice. We talked for ages before I realized how late it was where he was - or early, whatever - and let him go get some sleep.
I pulled off my jeans and shirt and crawled under the covers, holding my son close, letting that baby smell of talcum powder, milk and, if you happen to be my son, marmalade since he seems to be addicted to the stuff, lull me to sleep. Talking to Ville, even if I hadn’t told him what was going on over here, had made me feel better about things. I didn’t care what my friends thought any more. I had my son and my husband would be with us soon. And they’re all I need.
April’s POV
There’s been a strange sort of atmosphere in the house for the last week or so. One of forced smiles and conversations, many of them coming from my son. I almost get the impression that he doesn’t want to be here and I wish it wasn’t that way. I know why it is, of course. His friends are jealous as hell, and I don’t know if they’re jealous of him for having Sami or if they’re jealous of Sami for having Bam, but whichever way round it is, it’s pathetic.
Don’t get me wrong. I like Bam’s friends. Hell, I’d even go as far as to say that I think of them as my own children. Why else would I let them stay with me and Phil when Jess is on tour and Bam’s at his home in Helsinki? But right now, I wish I could throw them all out. I would if they had anyplace else to go, just so I could see Bam properly happy and relaxed in his own family home.
It’s amazing to see Bam with Sami. I never thought he would have kids. Even before he told us he was gay. He just didn’t seem the type to ever want any, to have the patience to raise a kid. But he’s a total natural. So patient, so happy when he’s with him, not embarrassed about singing a song on demand for his son in a room full of his friends, about reading a story, playing with him…I’m so proud of him. Of him and Ville both.
I’m giving Bam and Sami a lift to the airport tonight to pick Ville up. Bam could have driven himself, of course, but Sami asked if I would come and not Bam, nor Phil, nor I have the power to say no to that kid. So here I am, piling Sami into his car seat and smiling as he insists that Bam sit beside him in the back seat. It doesn’t take too long to get to the airport - it’s pretty late and the roads are nearly deserted. Bam’s hoping that the fact it’s the middle of the night will mean the airport is quieter as well and we can get in there, get Ville and get back out with no problems.
Its not that busy within the airport, as it happens. We manage to find a few rows of empty seats where we can see Ville’s gate and keep out of the general crowds. Sami’s lying on the seats beside Bam, his head on Bam’s thigh, thumb in his mouth, fighting to stay awake as he waits for his Dada. You’ve never seen a kid so excited as he was this morning when Bam reminded him that Ville was coming to see him today. I finally manage to get Bam to open up about his friends while we sit and wait, finding out that, as I suspected, Bam didn’t want them around anymore.
“I dunno Ape…it’s like…they want everything to be like we were before Ville, before Sami…and I guess that makes sense for them, but…y’know at first I felt bad. Like I was letting them down by not being the same person I was. But I don’t want to be like I was then. I hated myself then. And now I’m so happy…apart from…that I hate them for making me feel guilty about looking after my son…”
I don’t get to give any, for once wanted, motherly-advice before our conversation is interrupted by Sami leaping up and running as fast as a two year old can towards a figure in black coming towards us. Bam’s on his feet in an instant too. I’m not sure whether it was a reflex at seeing Sami spring up like that or whether it was a natural instinct of his to want to run straight to Ville as well. I think it might be a mixture of both, actually.
I get to my feet too, feeling a bit silly sitting down all by myself, and watch as Ville stops to let Sami reach him, bend down to scoop him up and swing him round in a circle before he hugs him tight and reaches out for Bam. You can’t help but smile when you see them together like that, you know. Unless you’re Bam’s friends, apparently. They’re the perfect little family. Not a conventional family, perhaps, but perfect nonetheless.
Raab’s POV
No one asked us to leave but we’re going anyway. I would make out like we knew we weren’t wanted and we didn’t feel welcome anymore but that’s not the case either. Truth is, we all feel like bastards. That night, when we sat around the kitchen cursing our night with Bam being ruined and then he came down with Sami…we all felt guilty as hell. We can hardly bring ourselves to look at either him or Sami now. And God knows that Ville is a hell of a lot more frightening than Bam and none of us want him to know how we feel - or at least felt - about his child.
To be perfectly honest, that child is perfect. I’ve not been around a lot of kids in my life, but as far as I can tell he’s pretty much an angel. He grins and giggles 90 percent of the time, talks so sweetly to people, doesn’t seem to be aware of anything other than the fact that Bam and Ville would do anything and everything he ever asked them to. I don’t wanna start getting all mushy and girly here, but to have parents like Bam and Ville…that’s one damn lucky kid.
So we’re leaving. We’re leaving them to it. That’s not to say that we’re walking out of their lives, that we don’t want to see them again, because of course we do. We just don’t wanna get in the way. Besides, I guess it was a little weird for us to be living with Bam’s parents when Bam no longer lives in this country.
We’re not making a big deal out of going. We’ll wait til sometime tomorrow, take our things and go. Leave Bam, Ville and Sami to be a family. And try not to be too jealous that we can’t be a part of it.