Alive. Ch. 1 (I'm baaaaaaack!)
So... Before I posted, I just wanted to say hello to everyone. Hi,guys! I've been gone quite a while, just trolling. But, the good news is, I've decided to post my "diamond in the rough" fic, and see how it goes. Considering my insomnia is driving me insane, I might actually be able to post regularly. So, all,enjoy this and please, leave as much constructive criticism and love as possible, please? :D Also, I haven't posted in so long, I've totally forgotten how to create a cut, and I'm looking for a beta? Comment or message me if you're interested. :)
Title: Alive
Authorhimgirl94
Young AU
Rating: PG
Includes: fluff, comedy, angst
Summary: High School sweethearts, Bam and Missy fought to make their love known to everyone. In the process, Bam has lost everything that was once close to him. Two years later, after seperations,infidelity, police, and jail time, their relationship is crumbling beneath them. With nothing left, Bam is torn between his fleeting young love, and life alone. With the help of his only friend, can he gather the strength to save himself, fix the damage, and give love another chance?
Chapter 1:
I lay in bed, my thoughts and the whiskey in my blood churning a chaotic storm inside my head. The room was dark, the only light was the dim red glow of the clock reading 4:30 AM.
I felt Missy shift in bed beside me, and breathe deeply in her sleep. I closed my eyes tightly, silently hoping that she'd stay asleep. Although all of this thinking gave me an unbelievable headache, I enjoyed the silence and peace of the dark around me.
I rolled over, reaching my pack of cigarettes from the nightstand, along with my lighter and ashtray. Laying down again, I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, deeply inhaling the smoke. Just another night, in this life. I sighed. These days it felt as if I hardly knew who I was. My relationship with Missy was everything they told me it would be; absolute misery.
The last two years of my life had felt as if someone had thrown my life into a tornado, shook everything, and put me back. I'd lost everything in my love's battle. I laughed slightly at the irony. This is what I'd fought for? This is what I torched everything I held dear for?
I took another drag of my cigarette, watching the cherry glow brightly in the blackness around me. Our relationship felt as if it were shattered like fragile glass. In our journey to prove our love,we were clueless that it was gradually breaking beneath us.I knew that we'd bitten off way more than we could handle, but being punch drunk, young and in love, I was beginning to see the cracks in the foundation that I was too foolish to notice. With every fight I felt myself getting farther and farther away from Missy. We'd yell and scream at each other neverendingly, about the same old things (mainly my drinking, my shitty job, and her inability to keep her legs closed) and nothing ever seemed to change. I clung because my heart wouldn't let go of the chance that things would change, but honestly, I just couldn't take the pain any longer.
Through everything I'd seen in my years of life, I'd never felt more alone. No matter what the situation, I'd always have someone to fall back on, someone that would help me find my feet again. I'd never fallen this hard with no one by my side. And remembering, hell, regretting what I did to cause this was intolerable. My cigarette was over sooner than it should have been, as I stubbed it out and placed the ashtray back on the nightstand. The lonliness hit me hard as I pulled my blanket around me, and pulled my legs up to my chest.
I never wanted this. I never wanted this to be about pain, or lonliness. I was lost, and neck deep in the quicksand of my emotions. All I knew for certain was, that up was the new down, down was the new up, and nothing else made sense. I never saw myself here, in this blackness. I sighed deeply, there wasn't any kind of mystical force intercepting my thoughts, so I pulled the blanket tighter around myself, shut my eyes, and prayed for sleep.
I heaed Missy's irritating alarm shove me awake at 12:30. I felt her shift beside me, stretch, and get out of bed. I pulled my blanket up over my head, faking sleep. Thankfully, she left the room, closing the door behind her.I rolled over, got comfortable, and was asleep instantly.
I awoke again, a short time later, to Missy shaking my left shoulder roughly.
"Bam, get up. We leave for work in an hour." Her voice sounded irritated.
"I heard you, I'm up. You don't have to shake me like I'm dead, Miss."
"Ugh" was her reply as she switched the light on and stomped from the room.
The light sent white hot bolts of pain exploding through my eyes. I quickly grabbed my blanket and pulled it over my head. Once my eyes were adjusted, I poked my head out of the blanket, stretching my arms above my head. I threw the blanket back, and stood, stretching again. I heard the T.v. blaring in the living room along with Missy and her father, Jay's voices.Honestly, I had alotof respect for Jay and all that hes done to help Missy and I, but since Missy and I had last fought, he seemed different. Disapproving of me, all of a sudden. I rolled my eyes, and scanned the room for my cigarettes.I found them quickly, putting one to my lips and breathing the smoke in deeply.
After my cigarette, I threw my robe on, and headed to the bathroom for a shower. I needed the hot water to burn the sorrow from my skin. Usually, I'm not the type to take long showers, but as I stood under the burning hot spray, my thoughts flooded me once more. I got lost in them long enough to feel the water become frigid, and the bathroom to fill with steam. At least the weight on my chest had lessened a bit, making it a little easier to breathe for the moment.I toweled off slowly, and got dressed. I came into the kitchen to see Jay and Missy exactly as I'd left them, deep into some sort of debate over pizza. I rolled my eyes smugly, and began to brew a pot of coffee. I'd need it for the fun filled night at Burger World that stood ominously ahead.
I returned to our bedroom and slowly got my uniform together, my mind still thundering inside my skull. I hate my job just a tiny bit more than I hate my life. Slinging burgers for low, low, prices was not exactly the most enjoyable career field. Mostly it was unecessary stress that paid minimum wage. I know that if this shitty job weren't a requirement of my probation, I would've left much longer ago. But the few good people I'd met through work were too much to give up these days. They served as my only social life.
I checked the time, and realized I was running behind. I rushed through my usual process, threw the rest of my things into my bag and followed Missy to the car. It was practically frigid outside. I was so sick of this winter full of white mess and cold. She drove, as always, and the ride seemed to lag more than usual.Work was usually a good 15 minute drive from our house, yet, today it felt as if it were an eternity. I could feel the thick tension between us. I knew Missy well enough to see that she was in no mood to talk. It didn't honestly bother me. Her moods were so up and down lately that I tried to remain as neutral about everything as possible to prevent an arguement.
Finally, I saw the grim purple Burger World sign, and knew the tense ride was finally over. I grabbed my bag and stepped out of the car. As I went to shut the door, Missy reached over the seat and grabbed my arm.
"Bam," She locked eyes with me, trying to convey her sincerity "I'm so sorry about last night Bam. I just snapped. And got angry because I came home, and nothing was done, and you were shitfaced on the couch. How did you honestly expect me not to be upset with you?"
I sighed deeply. "Yes, Missy, I know. I fucked up. Again. It's over and done with. I've gotta get in here." I tried to pull gently out of her grasp, but felt her fingers tighten around my arm.
Again, she looked me in the eye, her ice blue pupils so desperately trying to remain sincere. "Ok Bam. I'll see you at 1."
"Yeah, See you later. Love you." I pulled free and shut the door behind me before I heard her response. Honestly, I just didn't want to.
I stepped into the chicken nugget and grease scented lobby, and smiled as Raab waved his "hello" to me as he bagged the order in front of him. It seemed to be about a usual night, meaning we weren't too busy, but not absolutely dead either. Seeing Raab here meant that my night was just a little better already. I pulled the clipboard off of the counter and scanned over the night's schedule. At the bottom of the list, someone's name was crossed over and another name was scrawled in beneath it. When I'd seen that Raab had cleared the customers out, I got his attention, curiosity filling me.
"Raab, who's penciled in tonight? I can't read the handwriting" I heard him chuckle softly. "Carl called off, and since he was my pre-closer, I called Ville in tonight."
Already, I felt my stomach fluttering. Ville and I had history. I'd known him a little over 5 years now, and for every reason he was my best friend. We'd met in High School, when he was a freshman, and I was a sophomore. We had a bunch in common, (despite his bookworm ways, and my trouble-making ) and when my parents split and I moved into his neighborhood we became incredibly close friends. It wasn't exactly a good thing that I was insanely attracted to him, as well, but what he didn't know couldn't destroy our friendship.
I looked up and realized I was smiling and Raab was looking up at me curiously.
"So what little happy place did you just fall into? I haven't seen you smile like that in a while"
I tried to be as nonchalant as possible, to try and shrug off Raab's comment, a flash of dark brown hair and a bright blue shirt caught my eye. Ville had left the office and was headed toward me.
For a moment, it was as if time had slowed. I slowly took in every inch of the beautiful man coming towards me. His hair was shoulder length, a deep chocolate brown, and slightly curly towards the end. His skin was a pale white, making his pink lips and gorgeous emerald eyes stand out. His body was slim and elegant. Even in the hideous Burger World colors, he was absolutely beautiful.
He smiled at me and came around the corner jumping into my arms "Hey Bam Bam! It's so good to see you. I'm officially on night shift for the winter because of college. So I'll be around alot more. And I get to be your boss now." He laughed softly as I rolled my eyes at him. He was right though, this would be the first time we'd work together since his promotion a few weeks ago. I silently prayed that the promotion wouldn't go to his head, as it had with every other manager I'd seen. Knowing Ville, it shouldn't, but I was still a bit worried that it would be something to wedge itself between us.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and replied, "Yeah, Willa Walo, big, scary, Burger World Manager. I'm shaking in my slip-resistant shoes."
He gave me an adorably evil glare as I scooted around him, to clock in. As I walked to the back drive through, I was doing my best not to smile. Ville being on night shift was just the thing I needed. He's always had this effect on me. No matter how shitty things seem to be, as long as he's around, I'm infectiously happy for no reason. It was a great change in emotional scenery, let me tell you. I wouldn't even have this job if it weren't for him. Things were about to change. At least I knew that the next 3 months of work wouldn't be so bad.
The night continued as expected, the occaisional drifting senior citizen in lobby to get a cup of coffee, and a small dinner rush through drive through. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was in the kitchen tonight (my field of expertise, surprisingly) and Raab had Ville running the kitchen with me. I couldn't have been happier. I loved watching the way he worked. The way he moved around the kitchen, and the way his hands flew across the table, making orders effortlessly.
When we'd gotten a break between orders, I grabbed a broom and began sweeping the various trash from the floor.I looked up and saw Ville stretching, his hands palm down on the table, eyes closed, shoulders pulled back, and shirt pulled tightly against his slim chest. The way it hugged his curves was utterly delicious, and bit my lip softly as I forced myself to look away before I started to drool.
As I continued to sweep, Ville had grabbed a cleaning towel and was wiping down the prep table near me, trying his best to scrub off the ketchup dried to it's surface.
"So, how have things been with you Bam Bam? It's been too long since we've talked." I saw his eyes drop to his shoes and slowly return to mine, sadness filling their emerald center. "I miss you."
My heart flip-flopped in my chest and I felt warmth rush to my cheeks. He missed me. Is that a good thing? Am I reading too much into his simple statement? I cleared my throat, and replied "I've missed you too Vil. Now that I'm going to be seeing you more often," I paused, searching for the words that I felt on the tip of my tongue. I took a quick, deep breath and finsished "Maybe we can do something together on a day off together. Like old times.Just go out and find something to get into." I gave him a small smile and then let my eyes fall to the floor before I finished. "And things are....... miserable. Missy and I are fighting more than usual. Everything I do just sets her off, and no matter how hard I try, it never seems to be enough. And theres someone else. Again..."
"Oh Bammie," I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I spun around to wipe them away as Ville stepped towards me and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so sorry you're hurting Bam Bam. I really am. You know I don't like that senseless gash. She's all wrong for you. You need to get away from her. This, this isn't my Bam Bam." Although the sadness in my mind was storming again, having him close was like a metaphorical bandaid. His voice calmed me, and I breathed in his musky cologne deeply. "This isn't my best friend. She's hurt you so bad that you're crying. Bam! I've known you for 5 years, and seen you break countless bones without so much as a wimper. But this venomous snake has you broken into pieces."
As if to completely ruin the moment, I heard the screen beep with an incoming order and was forced to pull from his embrace. I glanced into his eyes, and saw nothing but concern for me, turning his beautiful emerald eyes into a vivid shade of jade. I looked up at him and smiled crookedly, as I stepped away to make the order before Raab started yelling. It was a fairly simple order, so I finished it quickly, and slid the food to Raab. When I turned back to Ville, I could tell he was deep in thought about something. He stood, hands on hips, eyes far away. I wanted just one more minute of being close to him before the subject changed, and he'd question my motives. So I stepped behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist , pulling his slim body against mine and burying my face in his neck.
"I'm so happy you're going to be around more Willa. I need my best friend right now." I mumbled into his neck.I felt a soft laugh rumble in his chest.
He twisted in my arms so that we were face to face, and hugged me tightly. "I'll always be here Bam Bam.You should know that by now."
"Of course I know that Willa, it's just been so long since I've had anyone to see through the smile I put on. I thought I was trapped in this hole I've dug by myself." I smiled. A real smile.
"I'd never let that happen Bam Bam. Now, lets pretend were working before Raab starts his bitching" He sent me an adorably crooked smile, and left the kitchen to ask Raab about the schedule.
The rest of the night I spent deeply in thought, because Raab had pulled Ville to the front to run while he took his break. I felt myself go into autopilot. I was there, and I was working, but I was buried inside my thoughts. What Ville had said had definitely caught me off guard. I didn't even expect him to want to speak to me, nonetheless, try to help. And yes, there had always been a bit of a spark between us, but it seemed, although Missy had driven her wedge between us, nothing had changed. It also always seemed to be a one way spark between us, my interest in him, and his friendship towards me. But now, I feel a spark returned from him. A spark I'd never seen before. I doubted it's existence though, thinking that my lonely, damaged heart was searching for a mend, and reading more into it than it was. My heart though, was an entirely different story.
At 10:30, as Ville was getting ready to leave, Raab decided to send me to break. I had no arguments, it meant I had a free half hour to spend with him, outside of work. It felt like a blessing. I grabbed my sweatshirt from the back, ordered my heart attack sandwich and headed outside for a much needed smoke. No sooner than I lit it, I saw Ville coming outside to join me. He dug in his pockets, and pulled out his cigarettes, lighting it, and sighing deeply as he exhaled.
"So, Vil, I never got the chance to ask you how things were with you. What's new? Besides the promotion obviously." I chuckled softly.
He took another long drag from his cigarette before he answered, stepping closer to me, and leaning against the building. "To be completely honest with you Bam, absolutely nothing. Jussi left me. Again. Said he was tying me down because of the age difference, and that later on I'd regret giving up this time to be with him would only destroy our relationship in the long run. I was just sick of fighting about it, so I gave in and agreed." He shrugged as he took another drag. "I'm trying my best not to hurt from it but it isn't going as well as I'd hoped.I've practically buried myself in work and school"
I grinned, it was just so typically Ville. "At least you have something constructive to bury yourself in. I just use my pillow" I grinned at him happily.
He shook his head, and giggled his adorably nerdy laugh. "Only you Bam Bam, only you."
"Gotta get my laughs somewhere, don't I?" I replied sarcastically.
He slapped my arm playfully "Whatever you say Bam"
Still grinning, I replied, "Thats what I thought, Valo"
He rolled his eyes at me dramatically, finished his cigarette, and headed inside. "Come on smartass, go eat your food before Raab does."
"If he hasn't already that is." I replied jokingly.
Luckily for me, my food was still in one piece, with all of it's deathly, greasy, glory. I grabbed my food, and followed Ville to the side lobby, and claimed a table towards the back. I sat on the booth side, and unexpectedly, Ville sat next to me. It felt great to have my best friend back, even though he was being somewhat strange. It felt as if the unendingly lonliness was over. Like a savior Ville had stepped back into my life, and I wasn't going to let anything push him out of it again. Even though everyone else had abandoned me (with worthy cause) Ville had never stepped back. My heart bounced in my heart as I finished my sandwich and processed the events of the day.
Ville was a neverending state of calm beside me, his eyes looking far away in thought again. It made me curious, I really wanted to know what it was that he was thinking about in there. "If only mind reading was possible..." I thought. I stood to take my trash to the can, and noticed that Ville ha snapped out of his thoughts and was intensely looking me over.I don't think he really noticed I'd caught him yet, so I just savored the moment, and stretched before I broke his trance.
"Vil, come on, let's have one more smoke before you head out." I saw his eyes snap back to attention and a small blush rise to his cheek.
"Wh-What? Um, yeah, lets go." He stood and pulled his coat on as he headed back out into the chilly night. This time though, I knew he had to be heading home, so I slowly walked around the building to where his car was parked. Our pace was slow and relaxed as we tossed casual conversation back and forth. Finally, though, we reached his car, and I knew my break time was drawing to a close. I wasn't ready for him to leave, but it wasn't like I could hide him in the walk-in while I worked, either. I checked my phone, 4 minutes left. Break is always the fastest half hour of my day. Especially since I actually have someone to spend it with.
"I guess I gotta be heading back in here, sadly.Thanks, Vil." I said softly
"What are you thanking me for Bam Bam?" he asked, a confused look settling on his face.
I grinned and pulled him close. "For being here. For always being here with me. No matter how stupid I am, you've never given up on me. You're the only one I have, Willa. You have no idea how much this really means to me."
He rested his arms on my shoulders as I held him tightly in my arms, just smiling into his shoulder.
"Always have been here, always will be Bam Bam. For anything." He pulled back just enough to catch his gaze with mine. We stayed like that for a few seconds, just smiling and looking into each other's eyes. Sadly though, the moment had to end, and I had to pull away from him.
I grinned and took one last deep inhale of him before we seperated, vowing not to let another scent take this away from me. He just smelled magnificent. I couldn't get enough of it.
"That's the best thing I think I've ever heard Willa. Will I see you tomorrow?"
"Yes, sir. I'll be in this shithole with Raab from 2-10." He replied with a smile and dramatic eye roll."Good, if tomorrow is as awesome as today was, I'm ready. See you later, Willa"
It was as if his simple cologne could bring back all of our memories together. Before this, before Missy. Before the complications we both have. To a time when things were just simple and happy.
It took me a while to realize it, but that night, I think I didn't stop smiling until the muscles in my face began to hurt.
Title: Alive
Authorhimgirl94
Young AU
Rating: PG
Includes: fluff, comedy, angst
Summary: High School sweethearts, Bam and Missy fought to make their love known to everyone. In the process, Bam has lost everything that was once close to him. Two years later, after seperations,infidelity, police, and jail time, their relationship is crumbling beneath them. With nothing left, Bam is torn between his fleeting young love, and life alone. With the help of his only friend, can he gather the strength to save himself, fix the damage, and give love another chance?
Chapter 1:
I lay in bed, my thoughts and the whiskey in my blood churning a chaotic storm inside my head. The room was dark, the only light was the dim red glow of the clock reading 4:30 AM.
I felt Missy shift in bed beside me, and breathe deeply in her sleep. I closed my eyes tightly, silently hoping that she'd stay asleep. Although all of this thinking gave me an unbelievable headache, I enjoyed the silence and peace of the dark around me.
I rolled over, reaching my pack of cigarettes from the nightstand, along with my lighter and ashtray. Laying down again, I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, deeply inhaling the smoke. Just another night, in this life. I sighed. These days it felt as if I hardly knew who I was. My relationship with Missy was everything they told me it would be; absolute misery.
The last two years of my life had felt as if someone had thrown my life into a tornado, shook everything, and put me back. I'd lost everything in my love's battle. I laughed slightly at the irony. This is what I'd fought for? This is what I torched everything I held dear for?
I took another drag of my cigarette, watching the cherry glow brightly in the blackness around me. Our relationship felt as if it were shattered like fragile glass. In our journey to prove our love,we were clueless that it was gradually breaking beneath us.I knew that we'd bitten off way more than we could handle, but being punch drunk, young and in love, I was beginning to see the cracks in the foundation that I was too foolish to notice. With every fight I felt myself getting farther and farther away from Missy. We'd yell and scream at each other neverendingly, about the same old things (mainly my drinking, my shitty job, and her inability to keep her legs closed) and nothing ever seemed to change. I clung because my heart wouldn't let go of the chance that things would change, but honestly, I just couldn't take the pain any longer.
Through everything I'd seen in my years of life, I'd never felt more alone. No matter what the situation, I'd always have someone to fall back on, someone that would help me find my feet again. I'd never fallen this hard with no one by my side. And remembering, hell, regretting what I did to cause this was intolerable. My cigarette was over sooner than it should have been, as I stubbed it out and placed the ashtray back on the nightstand. The lonliness hit me hard as I pulled my blanket around me, and pulled my legs up to my chest.
I never wanted this. I never wanted this to be about pain, or lonliness. I was lost, and neck deep in the quicksand of my emotions. All I knew for certain was, that up was the new down, down was the new up, and nothing else made sense. I never saw myself here, in this blackness. I sighed deeply, there wasn't any kind of mystical force intercepting my thoughts, so I pulled the blanket tighter around myself, shut my eyes, and prayed for sleep.
I heaed Missy's irritating alarm shove me awake at 12:30. I felt her shift beside me, stretch, and get out of bed. I pulled my blanket up over my head, faking sleep. Thankfully, she left the room, closing the door behind her.I rolled over, got comfortable, and was asleep instantly.
I awoke again, a short time later, to Missy shaking my left shoulder roughly.
"Bam, get up. We leave for work in an hour." Her voice sounded irritated.
"I heard you, I'm up. You don't have to shake me like I'm dead, Miss."
"Ugh" was her reply as she switched the light on and stomped from the room.
The light sent white hot bolts of pain exploding through my eyes. I quickly grabbed my blanket and pulled it over my head. Once my eyes were adjusted, I poked my head out of the blanket, stretching my arms above my head. I threw the blanket back, and stood, stretching again. I heard the T.v. blaring in the living room along with Missy and her father, Jay's voices.Honestly, I had alotof respect for Jay and all that hes done to help Missy and I, but since Missy and I had last fought, he seemed different. Disapproving of me, all of a sudden. I rolled my eyes, and scanned the room for my cigarettes.I found them quickly, putting one to my lips and breathing the smoke in deeply.
After my cigarette, I threw my robe on, and headed to the bathroom for a shower. I needed the hot water to burn the sorrow from my skin. Usually, I'm not the type to take long showers, but as I stood under the burning hot spray, my thoughts flooded me once more. I got lost in them long enough to feel the water become frigid, and the bathroom to fill with steam. At least the weight on my chest had lessened a bit, making it a little easier to breathe for the moment.I toweled off slowly, and got dressed. I came into the kitchen to see Jay and Missy exactly as I'd left them, deep into some sort of debate over pizza. I rolled my eyes smugly, and began to brew a pot of coffee. I'd need it for the fun filled night at Burger World that stood ominously ahead.
I returned to our bedroom and slowly got my uniform together, my mind still thundering inside my skull. I hate my job just a tiny bit more than I hate my life. Slinging burgers for low, low, prices was not exactly the most enjoyable career field. Mostly it was unecessary stress that paid minimum wage. I know that if this shitty job weren't a requirement of my probation, I would've left much longer ago. But the few good people I'd met through work were too much to give up these days. They served as my only social life.
I checked the time, and realized I was running behind. I rushed through my usual process, threw the rest of my things into my bag and followed Missy to the car. It was practically frigid outside. I was so sick of this winter full of white mess and cold. She drove, as always, and the ride seemed to lag more than usual.Work was usually a good 15 minute drive from our house, yet, today it felt as if it were an eternity. I could feel the thick tension between us. I knew Missy well enough to see that she was in no mood to talk. It didn't honestly bother me. Her moods were so up and down lately that I tried to remain as neutral about everything as possible to prevent an arguement.
Finally, I saw the grim purple Burger World sign, and knew the tense ride was finally over. I grabbed my bag and stepped out of the car. As I went to shut the door, Missy reached over the seat and grabbed my arm.
"Bam," She locked eyes with me, trying to convey her sincerity "I'm so sorry about last night Bam. I just snapped. And got angry because I came home, and nothing was done, and you were shitfaced on the couch. How did you honestly expect me not to be upset with you?"
I sighed deeply. "Yes, Missy, I know. I fucked up. Again. It's over and done with. I've gotta get in here." I tried to pull gently out of her grasp, but felt her fingers tighten around my arm.
Again, she looked me in the eye, her ice blue pupils so desperately trying to remain sincere. "Ok Bam. I'll see you at 1."
"Yeah, See you later. Love you." I pulled free and shut the door behind me before I heard her response. Honestly, I just didn't want to.
I stepped into the chicken nugget and grease scented lobby, and smiled as Raab waved his "hello" to me as he bagged the order in front of him. It seemed to be about a usual night, meaning we weren't too busy, but not absolutely dead either. Seeing Raab here meant that my night was just a little better already. I pulled the clipboard off of the counter and scanned over the night's schedule. At the bottom of the list, someone's name was crossed over and another name was scrawled in beneath it. When I'd seen that Raab had cleared the customers out, I got his attention, curiosity filling me.
"Raab, who's penciled in tonight? I can't read the handwriting" I heard him chuckle softly. "Carl called off, and since he was my pre-closer, I called Ville in tonight."
Already, I felt my stomach fluttering. Ville and I had history. I'd known him a little over 5 years now, and for every reason he was my best friend. We'd met in High School, when he was a freshman, and I was a sophomore. We had a bunch in common, (despite his bookworm ways, and my trouble-making ) and when my parents split and I moved into his neighborhood we became incredibly close friends. It wasn't exactly a good thing that I was insanely attracted to him, as well, but what he didn't know couldn't destroy our friendship.
I looked up and realized I was smiling and Raab was looking up at me curiously.
"So what little happy place did you just fall into? I haven't seen you smile like that in a while"
I tried to be as nonchalant as possible, to try and shrug off Raab's comment, a flash of dark brown hair and a bright blue shirt caught my eye. Ville had left the office and was headed toward me.
For a moment, it was as if time had slowed. I slowly took in every inch of the beautiful man coming towards me. His hair was shoulder length, a deep chocolate brown, and slightly curly towards the end. His skin was a pale white, making his pink lips and gorgeous emerald eyes stand out. His body was slim and elegant. Even in the hideous Burger World colors, he was absolutely beautiful.
He smiled at me and came around the corner jumping into my arms "Hey Bam Bam! It's so good to see you. I'm officially on night shift for the winter because of college. So I'll be around alot more. And I get to be your boss now." He laughed softly as I rolled my eyes at him. He was right though, this would be the first time we'd work together since his promotion a few weeks ago. I silently prayed that the promotion wouldn't go to his head, as it had with every other manager I'd seen. Knowing Ville, it shouldn't, but I was still a bit worried that it would be something to wedge itself between us.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and replied, "Yeah, Willa Walo, big, scary, Burger World Manager. I'm shaking in my slip-resistant shoes."
He gave me an adorably evil glare as I scooted around him, to clock in. As I walked to the back drive through, I was doing my best not to smile. Ville being on night shift was just the thing I needed. He's always had this effect on me. No matter how shitty things seem to be, as long as he's around, I'm infectiously happy for no reason. It was a great change in emotional scenery, let me tell you. I wouldn't even have this job if it weren't for him. Things were about to change. At least I knew that the next 3 months of work wouldn't be so bad.
The night continued as expected, the occaisional drifting senior citizen in lobby to get a cup of coffee, and a small dinner rush through drive through. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was in the kitchen tonight (my field of expertise, surprisingly) and Raab had Ville running the kitchen with me. I couldn't have been happier. I loved watching the way he worked. The way he moved around the kitchen, and the way his hands flew across the table, making orders effortlessly.
When we'd gotten a break between orders, I grabbed a broom and began sweeping the various trash from the floor.I looked up and saw Ville stretching, his hands palm down on the table, eyes closed, shoulders pulled back, and shirt pulled tightly against his slim chest. The way it hugged his curves was utterly delicious, and bit my lip softly as I forced myself to look away before I started to drool.
As I continued to sweep, Ville had grabbed a cleaning towel and was wiping down the prep table near me, trying his best to scrub off the ketchup dried to it's surface.
"So, how have things been with you Bam Bam? It's been too long since we've talked." I saw his eyes drop to his shoes and slowly return to mine, sadness filling their emerald center. "I miss you."
My heart flip-flopped in my chest and I felt warmth rush to my cheeks. He missed me. Is that a good thing? Am I reading too much into his simple statement? I cleared my throat, and replied "I've missed you too Vil. Now that I'm going to be seeing you more often," I paused, searching for the words that I felt on the tip of my tongue. I took a quick, deep breath and finsished "Maybe we can do something together on a day off together. Like old times.Just go out and find something to get into." I gave him a small smile and then let my eyes fall to the floor before I finished. "And things are....... miserable. Missy and I are fighting more than usual. Everything I do just sets her off, and no matter how hard I try, it never seems to be enough. And theres someone else. Again..."
"Oh Bammie," I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I spun around to wipe them away as Ville stepped towards me and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so sorry you're hurting Bam Bam. I really am. You know I don't like that senseless gash. She's all wrong for you. You need to get away from her. This, this isn't my Bam Bam." Although the sadness in my mind was storming again, having him close was like a metaphorical bandaid. His voice calmed me, and I breathed in his musky cologne deeply. "This isn't my best friend. She's hurt you so bad that you're crying. Bam! I've known you for 5 years, and seen you break countless bones without so much as a wimper. But this venomous snake has you broken into pieces."
As if to completely ruin the moment, I heard the screen beep with an incoming order and was forced to pull from his embrace. I glanced into his eyes, and saw nothing but concern for me, turning his beautiful emerald eyes into a vivid shade of jade. I looked up at him and smiled crookedly, as I stepped away to make the order before Raab started yelling. It was a fairly simple order, so I finished it quickly, and slid the food to Raab. When I turned back to Ville, I could tell he was deep in thought about something. He stood, hands on hips, eyes far away. I wanted just one more minute of being close to him before the subject changed, and he'd question my motives. So I stepped behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist , pulling his slim body against mine and burying my face in his neck.
"I'm so happy you're going to be around more Willa. I need my best friend right now." I mumbled into his neck.I felt a soft laugh rumble in his chest.
He twisted in my arms so that we were face to face, and hugged me tightly. "I'll always be here Bam Bam.You should know that by now."
"Of course I know that Willa, it's just been so long since I've had anyone to see through the smile I put on. I thought I was trapped in this hole I've dug by myself." I smiled. A real smile.
"I'd never let that happen Bam Bam. Now, lets pretend were working before Raab starts his bitching" He sent me an adorably crooked smile, and left the kitchen to ask Raab about the schedule.
The rest of the night I spent deeply in thought, because Raab had pulled Ville to the front to run while he took his break. I felt myself go into autopilot. I was there, and I was working, but I was buried inside my thoughts. What Ville had said had definitely caught me off guard. I didn't even expect him to want to speak to me, nonetheless, try to help. And yes, there had always been a bit of a spark between us, but it seemed, although Missy had driven her wedge between us, nothing had changed. It also always seemed to be a one way spark between us, my interest in him, and his friendship towards me. But now, I feel a spark returned from him. A spark I'd never seen before. I doubted it's existence though, thinking that my lonely, damaged heart was searching for a mend, and reading more into it than it was. My heart though, was an entirely different story.
At 10:30, as Ville was getting ready to leave, Raab decided to send me to break. I had no arguments, it meant I had a free half hour to spend with him, outside of work. It felt like a blessing. I grabbed my sweatshirt from the back, ordered my heart attack sandwich and headed outside for a much needed smoke. No sooner than I lit it, I saw Ville coming outside to join me. He dug in his pockets, and pulled out his cigarettes, lighting it, and sighing deeply as he exhaled.
"So, Vil, I never got the chance to ask you how things were with you. What's new? Besides the promotion obviously." I chuckled softly.
He took another long drag from his cigarette before he answered, stepping closer to me, and leaning against the building. "To be completely honest with you Bam, absolutely nothing. Jussi left me. Again. Said he was tying me down because of the age difference, and that later on I'd regret giving up this time to be with him would only destroy our relationship in the long run. I was just sick of fighting about it, so I gave in and agreed." He shrugged as he took another drag. "I'm trying my best not to hurt from it but it isn't going as well as I'd hoped.I've practically buried myself in work and school"
I grinned, it was just so typically Ville. "At least you have something constructive to bury yourself in. I just use my pillow" I grinned at him happily.
He shook his head, and giggled his adorably nerdy laugh. "Only you Bam Bam, only you."
"Gotta get my laughs somewhere, don't I?" I replied sarcastically.
He slapped my arm playfully "Whatever you say Bam"
Still grinning, I replied, "Thats what I thought, Valo"
He rolled his eyes at me dramatically, finished his cigarette, and headed inside. "Come on smartass, go eat your food before Raab does."
"If he hasn't already that is." I replied jokingly.
Luckily for me, my food was still in one piece, with all of it's deathly, greasy, glory. I grabbed my food, and followed Ville to the side lobby, and claimed a table towards the back. I sat on the booth side, and unexpectedly, Ville sat next to me. It felt great to have my best friend back, even though he was being somewhat strange. It felt as if the unendingly lonliness was over. Like a savior Ville had stepped back into my life, and I wasn't going to let anything push him out of it again. Even though everyone else had abandoned me (with worthy cause) Ville had never stepped back. My heart bounced in my heart as I finished my sandwich and processed the events of the day.
Ville was a neverending state of calm beside me, his eyes looking far away in thought again. It made me curious, I really wanted to know what it was that he was thinking about in there. "If only mind reading was possible..." I thought. I stood to take my trash to the can, and noticed that Ville ha snapped out of his thoughts and was intensely looking me over.I don't think he really noticed I'd caught him yet, so I just savored the moment, and stretched before I broke his trance.
"Vil, come on, let's have one more smoke before you head out." I saw his eyes snap back to attention and a small blush rise to his cheek.
"Wh-What? Um, yeah, lets go." He stood and pulled his coat on as he headed back out into the chilly night. This time though, I knew he had to be heading home, so I slowly walked around the building to where his car was parked. Our pace was slow and relaxed as we tossed casual conversation back and forth. Finally, though, we reached his car, and I knew my break time was drawing to a close. I wasn't ready for him to leave, but it wasn't like I could hide him in the walk-in while I worked, either. I checked my phone, 4 minutes left. Break is always the fastest half hour of my day. Especially since I actually have someone to spend it with.
"I guess I gotta be heading back in here, sadly.Thanks, Vil." I said softly
"What are you thanking me for Bam Bam?" he asked, a confused look settling on his face.
I grinned and pulled him close. "For being here. For always being here with me. No matter how stupid I am, you've never given up on me. You're the only one I have, Willa. You have no idea how much this really means to me."
He rested his arms on my shoulders as I held him tightly in my arms, just smiling into his shoulder.
"Always have been here, always will be Bam Bam. For anything." He pulled back just enough to catch his gaze with mine. We stayed like that for a few seconds, just smiling and looking into each other's eyes. Sadly though, the moment had to end, and I had to pull away from him.
I grinned and took one last deep inhale of him before we seperated, vowing not to let another scent take this away from me. He just smelled magnificent. I couldn't get enough of it.
"That's the best thing I think I've ever heard Willa. Will I see you tomorrow?"
"Yes, sir. I'll be in this shithole with Raab from 2-10." He replied with a smile and dramatic eye roll."Good, if tomorrow is as awesome as today was, I'm ready. See you later, Willa"
It was as if his simple cologne could bring back all of our memories together. Before this, before Missy. Before the complications we both have. To a time when things were just simple and happy.
It took me a while to realize it, but that night, I think I didn't stop smiling until the muscles in my face began to hurt.