Not Strong Enough
Not Strong Enough
Author: RaiRai (Kultaseni427)
Genre: Mushy
Genre: Reunion
Rating: PG for Sexual References, Drug References
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the storyline. Try and sue me. Also, the title is owned by our favorite Finnish Cello Band, Apocalyptica. There, I credited them.
Summary: The boys see each other after a few years of no communication.
A/N I will probably end up splitting this into parts, like I did with “Vanilla Icing.” Sorry I haven't posted in a while, college and work is NOT fun. Been reading back for a while.
I'm not strong enough to stay away,
Can't run from you
I just run back to you
Like a moth, I'm drawn into your flame
You say my name, but it's not the same
You look into my eyes,
I'm stripped of my pride
And my soul surrenders,
And you bring my heart to it's knees
It's been a while since I saw him. Hell, I haven't even Googled him in years. He had decided that his addictions where more important than me, even though there were times that I was his obsession. I thought that maybe he was just going on a binge, running after another girl, so that his “love-god” image was safe.
But then, he stopped calling.
Yeah, I tried to get up with him for a while. Phone calls, emails, hell, even posting our stories and my fantasies on livejournal groups dedicated to us.
But not a word.
So, good riddance, motherfucker.
I threw myself into a marriage I didn't really want, and into other shit that makes me feel better, if even for a little bit. And after a while, it did make me happy. Well, the marriage didn't. But the other things did. Drugs, alchohol, women, stupid stunts, and even wallowing in my own self pity for a few days seemed to do the trick. But after a while, life moved on.
And then he came back.
It was a total surprise. I came home one morning from a run, and he was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking my coffee and eating my toast. For a moment, I didn't recognize him; his hair was longer than it was when he was last here, his body a bit thicker. Not fatter, but like he made it to the gym a few days a week. He no longer looked like the princess that I hadn't thought of in years; he looked like a man.
He took me completely off guard. I didn't expect him to be there. No one had been there for a while; Missy was gone, Ape and Phil were gone, even the guys were gone. No one stuck around to see me ruin myself like I had there for a while. But there he was, sitting at my table, eating my food like he used to when he had lived here.
I was about to start screaming at him to get his ass up and to get the fuck out of my house, ready to pick him up by his hair and toss him out on the doorstep, when he turned and looked at me.
Those beautiful green orbs sunk into me, a smile in them. My legs turned to jelly, making me have to hold on to the counter to keep from falling flat on my face. Oh, he knew what he was doing. He knew that I was addicted to him, like he was to drinking and ink.
I felt like a reformed smoker who just took his first hit of nicotine in years; a little guilty, but a whole lot of relief and familiarity.
Those perfect pink lips smiled at me. I wonder if he could see me shaking? I just stood there, holding myself up, unable to make a sound. What could I say? “Hey there, love of my life! Where ya been for the last five years?” Pfft as if.
He was the one who spoke first. Just a simple phrase that made my pulse run up into the two-hundreds and my palms sweat.
“Hello, BamBam.”
Author: RaiRai (Kultaseni427)
Genre: Mushy
Genre: Reunion
Rating: PG for Sexual References, Drug References
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the storyline. Try and sue me. Also, the title is owned by our favorite Finnish Cello Band, Apocalyptica. There, I credited them.
Summary: The boys see each other after a few years of no communication.
A/N I will probably end up splitting this into parts, like I did with “Vanilla Icing.” Sorry I haven't posted in a while, college and work is NOT fun. Been reading back for a while.
I'm not strong enough to stay away,
Can't run from you
I just run back to you
Like a moth, I'm drawn into your flame
You say my name, but it's not the same
You look into my eyes,
I'm stripped of my pride
And my soul surrenders,
And you bring my heart to it's knees
It's been a while since I saw him. Hell, I haven't even Googled him in years. He had decided that his addictions where more important than me, even though there were times that I was his obsession. I thought that maybe he was just going on a binge, running after another girl, so that his “love-god” image was safe.
But then, he stopped calling.
Yeah, I tried to get up with him for a while. Phone calls, emails, hell, even posting our stories and my fantasies on livejournal groups dedicated to us.
But not a word.
So, good riddance, motherfucker.
I threw myself into a marriage I didn't really want, and into other shit that makes me feel better, if even for a little bit. And after a while, it did make me happy. Well, the marriage didn't. But the other things did. Drugs, alchohol, women, stupid stunts, and even wallowing in my own self pity for a few days seemed to do the trick. But after a while, life moved on.
And then he came back.
It was a total surprise. I came home one morning from a run, and he was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking my coffee and eating my toast. For a moment, I didn't recognize him; his hair was longer than it was when he was last here, his body a bit thicker. Not fatter, but like he made it to the gym a few days a week. He no longer looked like the princess that I hadn't thought of in years; he looked like a man.
He took me completely off guard. I didn't expect him to be there. No one had been there for a while; Missy was gone, Ape and Phil were gone, even the guys were gone. No one stuck around to see me ruin myself like I had there for a while. But there he was, sitting at my table, eating my food like he used to when he had lived here.
I was about to start screaming at him to get his ass up and to get the fuck out of my house, ready to pick him up by his hair and toss him out on the doorstep, when he turned and looked at me.
Those beautiful green orbs sunk into me, a smile in them. My legs turned to jelly, making me have to hold on to the counter to keep from falling flat on my face. Oh, he knew what he was doing. He knew that I was addicted to him, like he was to drinking and ink.
I felt like a reformed smoker who just took his first hit of nicotine in years; a little guilty, but a whole lot of relief and familiarity.
Those perfect pink lips smiled at me. I wonder if he could see me shaking? I just stood there, holding myself up, unable to make a sound. What could I say? “Hey there, love of my life! Where ya been for the last five years?” Pfft as if.
He was the one who spoke first. Just a simple phrase that made my pulse run up into the two-hundreds and my palms sweat.
“Hello, BamBam.”