Bittersweet Pink
Title: Food Challenge
Author: silver-sixpence
Rating: PG-13
Parings: Vam
Disclaimer: Fiction. Not real.
Summary: Vam + food = something weird like this. Three unrelated, somewhat short AU stories.
Author's Note: Enjoy. I just picked some random foods (hey, and they're all pink!). It was challenging. I'd love some feedback.
Cotton Candy
“I haven’t been to one of these lame-ass carnivals since I was ten.”
“Bam, you still act like your ten.”
“Shut up Novak! I wasn’t the one who stuffed a whole peanut butter sandwich into my mouth on a dare, and then had to go to the hospital because I didn’t know I was allergic! Remember? You almost died from the hives!” Bam laughed at his own joke so hard Ville though he may have to let him borrow his own inhaler. It had been Bam’s idea to go, of course. So far he had been having fun; they ate weird fried foods-fried Twinkies was a first-went on most of the rides and basically acted up the whole day to the point where they were playing hide-and-seek with the two-bit police. Today was fun, Ville thought, as he watched Bam take a huge bite of cotton candy. But there was something that had been nagging him.
Ville had liked Bam since he first met the skater. But anyone could like Bam of course. With his unruly mop of dark curls, impish bright blue eyes, and boyish smile, Bam seemed the picture of innocence. God must love irony, Ville though. Bam was anything but. Despite Bam’s antics that were oftentimes infuriating because of their stupidity, if one was able to look past those devilish tricks one would see the kind hearted skater for what he truly was.
But Ville liked Bam more than just a friend. And that’s where the problems started. He never believed in love at first sight but maybe you could crush at first sight. Not too long afterward he discovered why it was called a “crush.” First he was hopeful it was short lived and didn’t dwell too much on it. But the feelings lingered, then grew the more time he spent with Bam. At one point he was so compelled to suppress them that he avoided Bam for three weeks-then came crawling back like a junkie missing his high. Around Bam he felt lost, alive, loved, confused, unstoppable. His feelings were literally crushing him until he felt that he would one day spontaneously combust and all that would remain was his feelings…for Bam.
Ville sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He needed to stop thinking about Bam so much. It was unhealthy even for him.
At that point, Novak decided to leave the two alone to go ride on the merry-go-round. It was a great place to check out the moms, he said.
“I wanna go on the Ferris Wheel!” Bam announced. Ville, who wasn’t too fond of heights, looked up at the death trap disguised as a ride. He couldn’t understand how anyone could enjoy that kind of thing. Sure, it was one of the slower ones but still... He sighed, knowing that putting up a fight was useless. Bam, knowing that sound anywhere, jumped for joy. That was the sound of him getting his way. He grabbed Ville’s arm and started towards the ride, weaving in and out of the crowd. Before he knew it, Ville found himself and Bam seated in a rickety car. The man conducting the ride flipped a switch and with a jolt up they went.
Bam could not get over the view. He guessed they were three hundred feet up in the air and it was spectacular. The ride went up slowly and he took his time enjoying it. He watched the sky turn golden, then orange-pink, and finally a deep mauve. By the time the sun went down he and Ville were at the peak of the ride. He watched as lights in the town flickered on one by one like stars. His gaze moved upward to look at the glow of the pale moon and the stars fluttering underneath her skirts. It was all so beautiful. Bam turned around to see if Ville was sharing his excitement but his feelings cooled down as he looked at the Finn.
“You okay, Ville?” Ville looked completely out of place as he fidgeted with the loose threads on his sleeve. Maybe coming up here was a bad idea. He knew Ville disliked heights but as he kept looking at the way Ville tore at his clothes all he could sense was abject fear. “I’ll ask the conductor if we can get down.”
Ville shrugged, tried to sit on his fingers to stop his restless movement only to shift again. “Don’t bother. I don’t want to ruin your fun. Besides, we’ve got just a few minutes left.”
Suddenly, the car came to a halt.
“What’s happening?” Ville couldn’t mask the terror in his voice.
“Ah, great. The damn ride is stuck again.”
“Stuck?” And what did he mean by again? This happened regularly?
“Don’t worry. This happens once in a while with these traveling contraptions,” he said with a lot of meh, swatting a hand nonchalantly. “Hey, at least we still got this,” Bam waved the stick of cotton, “And it hasn’t even melted yet!” Ville watched as his plucked off a piece of the fluffy sugar. He plopped it into his mouth, sucking off the remains on his fingers. He did this several times and would have to keep doing it as the sugar crystallized and hardened on the ends of his fingers. Ville decided he had to pull himself together before he got lost as he watched Bam’s tongue dart out to caress his fingers. It was now or never.
“Bam?”
“Yeah?”
“…Nevermind.”
“Nuh-uh. Don’t give me that piece of crap. If you’re going to say something just say it.” Bam’s confident outburst made a sudden streak of anger flare in Ville’s chest.
“Just say it?” he barked vehemently, annoyance creeping into his voice. Bam wasn’t deterred, or just chose to ignore it. Ville guessed it was the latter, as he watched his friend shrug.
“Yeah! You know you can tell me anything.”
“…Anything?”
“It’s not like it can be that hard, right?”
“Right,” he grumbled. He sighed. Scrubbed his hand over his face. It was time to take the plunge. He stared directly at the skater and
“I like you, Bam.” He watched the surprise overcome Bam’s features, his face falling at those unexpected words.
“…What?”
And before Bam was able to discern what was happening Ville’s hands clamped the sides of his face and he gave him a good one.
The kiss was anything but gentle. It was fierce and twisted-just the way Bam made him feel. Ville’s lips were pressed so firmly against Bam’s it almost hurt; he could feel the other’s teeth beyond the give of soft flesh. His hands were trapped in Bam’s soft brown curls so tightly he couldn’t determine if that noise Bam made was a squeal of pain or a pleasured moan. It was over in seconds; Ville thought that if he actually gave himself enough time to actually enjoy the sensation it would be too real…the fantasy would be destroyed and he would have to face the actuality of Bam rejecting his love, ending their friendship, hating him. And he couldn’t handle that.
Feeling that he proved his point he sat back and crossed his arms, looking at Bam with a lot of well,-you-asked-for-it. Bam’s brilliant cerulean eyes were wide as saucers and seemed to be staring into Ville, staring through Ville…into nothing. He reached up and touched his battered lips with his fingertips. Ville felt incredibly small as silence filled the air between them. He said nothing. And neither did Bam.
They said nothing when the Ferris Wheel restarted with a jerk, making Bam loose his cotton candy. Ville looked on as Bam rushed to the side of the car, watching as his prize tumbled down with longing. He wished he would look at him like that one day. Any day. Right fucking now.
They said nothing when they met up with Novak later on, who they found hovering over a trash can, barfing up hot dogs and popcorn and come. Bam mopped up his face in the restroom and wordlessly Ville helped drag the ex-skater into the backseat of Bam’s car.
They said nothing to each other the whole ride home. It was a good two hours until they were back in West Chester, and that was after they had dropped Novak off in B’More. Ville didn’t realize the drive over had taken so long. He sat in the passenger’s seat, nervously biting his fingernails and stealing quick glances at Bam out of the corner of his eye, waiting, praying for the ordeal to be over ASAP. The whole time he wanted to throw up as he was swarmed by feelings of regret, inadequacy, and fear. He didn’t know how he managed to make it through the longest car ride of his life but he did. After coasting the Lambo into the garage of Castle Bam, Bam killed the engine. Together they walked up to the front door. Bam took out his set of keys but didn’t do anything, fiddling with them. Ville shuddered at the jingling of metal on metal, knowing this was the prelude to Meaningful Conversation. The skater let out a weary sigh, a sound that said everything and nothing at all. He turned his head to look at Ville. The Finn didn’t dare to do the same even when he could feel Bam’s gaze burning into the side of his skull. He looked the other way attempting to go for first place in invisibility.
“Ville. Ville look at me.” No response. “Please?”
The singer took a shuddering breath before looking at Bam for the first time since The Kiss. His beautifully tanned skin was flushed and stubble was starting to grow on his chin and his hair erupted from his crooked beanie. His lip was broken on the side and caked with a little blood-God, he had kissed him too hard, hadn’t he? And his eyes were…sad. Tremendously sad. Overwhelmingly sad. Ville wished he had never looked at Bam because all he wanted to do now was cry.
“Why did you kiss me Ville?” God, was he actually going to make him spell it out. As if being in his presence wasn’t torture enough.
“I-it’s because I…”
“Why?”
Ville couldn’t look at him as he spoke. “I like you Bam. I…like you. A lot.” Unexpectedly he felt the calloused palms of the skater cradling his face. A thumb gently traced over his cheekbone, grazed the corner of his mouth absentmindedly. And then he leaned in…
Bam’s lips came against his hesitantly, sweetly. Ville was almost too surprised to close his eyes but the feeling of Bam’s mouth molding against his overtook him and he gave into the sensations. One of Bam’s hands slipped down from his face to hold his hip and pull their bodies closer together. Ville dared to deepen the kiss. He darted his tongue across the edge of Bam’s lips and was elated when they opened for him with a sigh. He marveled at the taste him; it was unique mix of Bam, carnival food, that cologne he always wore, and…cotton candy. This kiss, unlike the first one, was slow and deliberate. Ville enjoyed exploring and memorizing the feel of Bam against him. His mind was spinning and he felt so heady he was afraid he would have fainted right then and there. The two only parted when their breath was stolen from them thanks to the other.
Ville forgot why Bam acted so coldly towards him after he first kissed him, and why he was so nervous of doing this in the first place. And then Bam said five little words that made all his previous problems melt away like…like cotton candy.
“I like you too, Ville.”
Grapefruit Juice
Bam knew Ville had a thing for grapefruit juice (and tea, and coffee, especially coffee) but he didn’t drink it that often. He looked down at the glass in his hand. The filmy pink juice had a few seeds in it-Bam had the nerve to go to the grocery store at five thirty in the morning to buy fresh grapefruits. Before Ville had awakened from sleep, he squeezed the essence of out them until his hands smelled of the stuff and half of it was all over his shirt. He sighed. The things he did for this man sometimes surprised even him. He opened the door leading to their bedroom and found Ville sitting up in the bed reading a newspaper. He looked up when Bam entered the room.
“Good morning sunshine.”
“Hello yourself darling,” Ville purred. His voice was still thick with sleep and he rubbed the edges of his eyes like he was still groggy. As he felt that familiar warm feeling seep through his gut Bam realized why he did the things he did for this man. He was completely, utterly in love. He was turning into such a sap he wouldn’t be surprised if he cut his veins and discovered he bled sugar. Bam walked over and gave Ville a lingering good morning kiss-his breath tasted like mint toothpaste he realized-then handed him his glass. Ville winked and purred another thank you. God, that wink never failed to make him blush. He watched as Ville downed half of the drink in one go, never taking his eyes off the newspaper.
“Why do you drink that stuff? It’s tangy and bitter and sour.”
“So is your come after you drink too much Jack Daniels, but you don’t hear me complaining about it.” Bam stiffened. Well this wasn’t how he wanted to start off his morning. He huffed and ran a hand through his hair. Normally, Bam would have come up with a response to the joke but it only seemed to unnerve him. Bam sighed, whishing that his frustration wouldn’t consume him.
You see, Ville’s comment didn’t bother him. It was just the cherry on a mountain pile of problems. Element was debating whether or not dropping him since he had cut back on touring a little too much…there was a glitch in the divorce papers…his crew slowly but surely deserting him. Heck, even April was avoiding him now. Bam attempted to compensate the losses by drowning in his favorite brand of whisky but he soon discovered the alcohol was drowning him. The escapism would only last till sunrise but the problems still remained.
But there was still Ville.
Ville was always there.
His love interest, seeing Bam’s disturbance, spoke.
“Bammie! Bammie! I was just joking. You know that.”
Bam faked a pout. He had thick skin but that didn’t mean he could play it up. And then, he could never let Ville know how much his problems were getting to him. He had to keep up the pretense. “You just said that I didn’t taste good. I’m offended.” He turned around and crossed his arms across his chest only to feel another pair lace around his waist. Bam couldn’t repress his shiver when Ville leaned into his neck and spoke, his breath ghosting across his neck.
“No I didn’t. I just said you taste funny when you drink too much alcohol.” The phrase when he could get it up was left unspoken.
“You can’t tell.”
“Oh, really? The last time I went down on you were sopping drunk.”
“You know that’s not true,” Bam defended, lying. His voice almost gave away his guilt. Even though the two lived together now (finally, finally at least they could have that), Bam was having a hard time adhering to Ville’s vow of sobriety. Sure, it didn’t pertain to him per say, but he did his best to clean himself up in turn as a show of support. Hell, he even drank less and if he had to have a cold one he did it outside of the house.
But lately, Bam had been having a harder time than usual. Due to all of the shit that was bothering him, he’d come home drunk and horny and, a few times, high. Sometimes he’d demand sex and Ville, wanting to avoid violence and not knowing what else to do, submitted. Other times he was so intoxicated all he could do was sleep it off. Bam was slipping. And he knew it. That was the worst part. Ville knew that he was going under. But...he didn't know if there would ever be an end to this problem. He didn't know how to stop. He watched as Ville’s expression darkened and realized that he was in for it.
“Bam. You can’t be serious. It’s been…” he held up a few fingers, “two months since you’ve dared to touch me in any sexual manner whilst sober. If I didn’t love you so much I would have killed you by now. There’s something wrong that you’re not telling me. I’m tired of your shit. I want to know. Now.”
“No. Nothing’s…wrong.”
“Do you think that having sex with me is such a chore that you have to be wasted in order to so it? I think that’s a problem.”
“No!”
“Am I not sexy enough?”
“Fuck, Ville that’s n-”
“If you want I can always just call her up. Maybe she will give me some tips on how to-”
“That’s not it!” he screamed.
“Then tell me what is!”
“It’s-It’s the Filthy Note. Commute’s been slow and it’s been bugging me lately and I can’t stop thinking about it.” Bam muttered solemnly. Ville looked him once over, his stormy green eyes softening. He took the lie for what it was; a lie. He knew that Bam wasn’t telling all of the truth (if he was telling it, that is). He would let it slide for now. But if Bam didn’t tell him soon…
Ville gently wrapped his arms around Bam’s frame. He was shaking slightly.
“I love you darling.”
“I love you, too.” His breath hitched holding back a sob. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. You’ll tell me what’s going on sometime, okay?”
“Yeah…okay.”
“Good. Cheer up, Bammie.” Ville said, giving him a last kiss before heading out the door and leaving Bam alone. He stood and observed the room. His eyes flickered over the sunlight filtering in through the window, the impression in the bed made by Ville’s body, and…and the nearly empty glass of grapefruit juice.
Bam walked over. He looked down at the glass and wondered if his relationship with Ville mirrored it. Tangy and sweet, leaving bitter taste in your mouth. He polished off the rest of it then cradled the glass in his hands…and tried not to drop it as he let his sobs overtake him.
Wild Strawberries
Bam was looking at one of the earlier photos of Ville around the time Razorblade Romance came out. He discovered that he couldn’t stop staring at Ville’s eye shadow. It was a jarringly colored pink that seemed like it could be red or maroon or fuchsia. It reminded him of…of...wild strawberries?
“What are you doing Bammie?” Ville said, wrapping a long arm around Bam’s waist. Completely caught off guard Bam jumped three feet in the air, making the Finn cackle his baritone laugh. He turned around to glare and say something scathing to his lover when he noticed something in the other’s hand. It was small and red but he couldn’t tell if it was a cherry or a tomato until Ville raised his hands to his lips. Bam watched, entranced, as Ville’s pink lips parted and wrapped around a whole strawberry. He was his reverie come true.
Ville didn’t object when Bam’s mouth met his own, his tongue darting towards the back of his mouth as if he wanted him to swallow him just like the fruit he had eaten. Bam pulled back, his lips pink and swollen. His expression was smug and at the same time utterly adorable. He let out a delighted little sigh and smiled brilliantly.
“Mmm, I love strawberries.”
Author: silver-sixpence
Rating: PG-13
Parings: Vam
Disclaimer: Fiction. Not real.
Summary: Vam + food = something weird like this. Three unrelated, somewhat short AU stories.
Author's Note: Enjoy. I just picked some random foods (hey, and they're all pink!). It was challenging. I'd love some feedback.
Cotton Candy
“I haven’t been to one of these lame-ass carnivals since I was ten.”
“Bam, you still act like your ten.”
“Shut up Novak! I wasn’t the one who stuffed a whole peanut butter sandwich into my mouth on a dare, and then had to go to the hospital because I didn’t know I was allergic! Remember? You almost died from the hives!” Bam laughed at his own joke so hard Ville though he may have to let him borrow his own inhaler. It had been Bam’s idea to go, of course. So far he had been having fun; they ate weird fried foods-fried Twinkies was a first-went on most of the rides and basically acted up the whole day to the point where they were playing hide-and-seek with the two-bit police. Today was fun, Ville thought, as he watched Bam take a huge bite of cotton candy. But there was something that had been nagging him.
Ville had liked Bam since he first met the skater. But anyone could like Bam of course. With his unruly mop of dark curls, impish bright blue eyes, and boyish smile, Bam seemed the picture of innocence. God must love irony, Ville though. Bam was anything but. Despite Bam’s antics that were oftentimes infuriating because of their stupidity, if one was able to look past those devilish tricks one would see the kind hearted skater for what he truly was.
But Ville liked Bam more than just a friend. And that’s where the problems started. He never believed in love at first sight but maybe you could crush at first sight. Not too long afterward he discovered why it was called a “crush.” First he was hopeful it was short lived and didn’t dwell too much on it. But the feelings lingered, then grew the more time he spent with Bam. At one point he was so compelled to suppress them that he avoided Bam for three weeks-then came crawling back like a junkie missing his high. Around Bam he felt lost, alive, loved, confused, unstoppable. His feelings were literally crushing him until he felt that he would one day spontaneously combust and all that would remain was his feelings…for Bam.
Ville sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He needed to stop thinking about Bam so much. It was unhealthy even for him.
At that point, Novak decided to leave the two alone to go ride on the merry-go-round. It was a great place to check out the moms, he said.
“I wanna go on the Ferris Wheel!” Bam announced. Ville, who wasn’t too fond of heights, looked up at the death trap disguised as a ride. He couldn’t understand how anyone could enjoy that kind of thing. Sure, it was one of the slower ones but still... He sighed, knowing that putting up a fight was useless. Bam, knowing that sound anywhere, jumped for joy. That was the sound of him getting his way. He grabbed Ville’s arm and started towards the ride, weaving in and out of the crowd. Before he knew it, Ville found himself and Bam seated in a rickety car. The man conducting the ride flipped a switch and with a jolt up they went.
Bam could not get over the view. He guessed they were three hundred feet up in the air and it was spectacular. The ride went up slowly and he took his time enjoying it. He watched the sky turn golden, then orange-pink, and finally a deep mauve. By the time the sun went down he and Ville were at the peak of the ride. He watched as lights in the town flickered on one by one like stars. His gaze moved upward to look at the glow of the pale moon and the stars fluttering underneath her skirts. It was all so beautiful. Bam turned around to see if Ville was sharing his excitement but his feelings cooled down as he looked at the Finn.
“You okay, Ville?” Ville looked completely out of place as he fidgeted with the loose threads on his sleeve. Maybe coming up here was a bad idea. He knew Ville disliked heights but as he kept looking at the way Ville tore at his clothes all he could sense was abject fear. “I’ll ask the conductor if we can get down.”
Ville shrugged, tried to sit on his fingers to stop his restless movement only to shift again. “Don’t bother. I don’t want to ruin your fun. Besides, we’ve got just a few minutes left.”
Suddenly, the car came to a halt.
“What’s happening?” Ville couldn’t mask the terror in his voice.
“Ah, great. The damn ride is stuck again.”
“Stuck?” And what did he mean by again? This happened regularly?
“Don’t worry. This happens once in a while with these traveling contraptions,” he said with a lot of meh, swatting a hand nonchalantly. “Hey, at least we still got this,” Bam waved the stick of cotton, “And it hasn’t even melted yet!” Ville watched as his plucked off a piece of the fluffy sugar. He plopped it into his mouth, sucking off the remains on his fingers. He did this several times and would have to keep doing it as the sugar crystallized and hardened on the ends of his fingers. Ville decided he had to pull himself together before he got lost as he watched Bam’s tongue dart out to caress his fingers. It was now or never.
“Bam?”
“Yeah?”
“…Nevermind.”
“Nuh-uh. Don’t give me that piece of crap. If you’re going to say something just say it.” Bam’s confident outburst made a sudden streak of anger flare in Ville’s chest.
“Just say it?” he barked vehemently, annoyance creeping into his voice. Bam wasn’t deterred, or just chose to ignore it. Ville guessed it was the latter, as he watched his friend shrug.
“Yeah! You know you can tell me anything.”
“…Anything?”
“It’s not like it can be that hard, right?”
“Right,” he grumbled. He sighed. Scrubbed his hand over his face. It was time to take the plunge. He stared directly at the skater and
“I like you, Bam.” He watched the surprise overcome Bam’s features, his face falling at those unexpected words.
“…What?”
And before Bam was able to discern what was happening Ville’s hands clamped the sides of his face and he gave him a good one.
The kiss was anything but gentle. It was fierce and twisted-just the way Bam made him feel. Ville’s lips were pressed so firmly against Bam’s it almost hurt; he could feel the other’s teeth beyond the give of soft flesh. His hands were trapped in Bam’s soft brown curls so tightly he couldn’t determine if that noise Bam made was a squeal of pain or a pleasured moan. It was over in seconds; Ville thought that if he actually gave himself enough time to actually enjoy the sensation it would be too real…the fantasy would be destroyed and he would have to face the actuality of Bam rejecting his love, ending their friendship, hating him. And he couldn’t handle that.
Feeling that he proved his point he sat back and crossed his arms, looking at Bam with a lot of well,-you-asked-for-it. Bam’s brilliant cerulean eyes were wide as saucers and seemed to be staring into Ville, staring through Ville…into nothing. He reached up and touched his battered lips with his fingertips. Ville felt incredibly small as silence filled the air between them. He said nothing. And neither did Bam.
They said nothing when the Ferris Wheel restarted with a jerk, making Bam loose his cotton candy. Ville looked on as Bam rushed to the side of the car, watching as his prize tumbled down with longing. He wished he would look at him like that one day. Any day. Right fucking now.
They said nothing when they met up with Novak later on, who they found hovering over a trash can, barfing up hot dogs and popcorn and come. Bam mopped up his face in the restroom and wordlessly Ville helped drag the ex-skater into the backseat of Bam’s car.
They said nothing to each other the whole ride home. It was a good two hours until they were back in West Chester, and that was after they had dropped Novak off in B’More. Ville didn’t realize the drive over had taken so long. He sat in the passenger’s seat, nervously biting his fingernails and stealing quick glances at Bam out of the corner of his eye, waiting, praying for the ordeal to be over ASAP. The whole time he wanted to throw up as he was swarmed by feelings of regret, inadequacy, and fear. He didn’t know how he managed to make it through the longest car ride of his life but he did. After coasting the Lambo into the garage of Castle Bam, Bam killed the engine. Together they walked up to the front door. Bam took out his set of keys but didn’t do anything, fiddling with them. Ville shuddered at the jingling of metal on metal, knowing this was the prelude to Meaningful Conversation. The skater let out a weary sigh, a sound that said everything and nothing at all. He turned his head to look at Ville. The Finn didn’t dare to do the same even when he could feel Bam’s gaze burning into the side of his skull. He looked the other way attempting to go for first place in invisibility.
“Ville. Ville look at me.” No response. “Please?”
The singer took a shuddering breath before looking at Bam for the first time since The Kiss. His beautifully tanned skin was flushed and stubble was starting to grow on his chin and his hair erupted from his crooked beanie. His lip was broken on the side and caked with a little blood-God, he had kissed him too hard, hadn’t he? And his eyes were…sad. Tremendously sad. Overwhelmingly sad. Ville wished he had never looked at Bam because all he wanted to do now was cry.
“Why did you kiss me Ville?” God, was he actually going to make him spell it out. As if being in his presence wasn’t torture enough.
“I-it’s because I…”
“Why?”
Ville couldn’t look at him as he spoke. “I like you Bam. I…like you. A lot.” Unexpectedly he felt the calloused palms of the skater cradling his face. A thumb gently traced over his cheekbone, grazed the corner of his mouth absentmindedly. And then he leaned in…
Bam’s lips came against his hesitantly, sweetly. Ville was almost too surprised to close his eyes but the feeling of Bam’s mouth molding against his overtook him and he gave into the sensations. One of Bam’s hands slipped down from his face to hold his hip and pull their bodies closer together. Ville dared to deepen the kiss. He darted his tongue across the edge of Bam’s lips and was elated when they opened for him with a sigh. He marveled at the taste him; it was unique mix of Bam, carnival food, that cologne he always wore, and…cotton candy. This kiss, unlike the first one, was slow and deliberate. Ville enjoyed exploring and memorizing the feel of Bam against him. His mind was spinning and he felt so heady he was afraid he would have fainted right then and there. The two only parted when their breath was stolen from them thanks to the other.
Ville forgot why Bam acted so coldly towards him after he first kissed him, and why he was so nervous of doing this in the first place. And then Bam said five little words that made all his previous problems melt away like…like cotton candy.
“I like you too, Ville.”
Grapefruit Juice
Bam knew Ville had a thing for grapefruit juice (and tea, and coffee, especially coffee) but he didn’t drink it that often. He looked down at the glass in his hand. The filmy pink juice had a few seeds in it-Bam had the nerve to go to the grocery store at five thirty in the morning to buy fresh grapefruits. Before Ville had awakened from sleep, he squeezed the essence of out them until his hands smelled of the stuff and half of it was all over his shirt. He sighed. The things he did for this man sometimes surprised even him. He opened the door leading to their bedroom and found Ville sitting up in the bed reading a newspaper. He looked up when Bam entered the room.
“Good morning sunshine.”
“Hello yourself darling,” Ville purred. His voice was still thick with sleep and he rubbed the edges of his eyes like he was still groggy. As he felt that familiar warm feeling seep through his gut Bam realized why he did the things he did for this man. He was completely, utterly in love. He was turning into such a sap he wouldn’t be surprised if he cut his veins and discovered he bled sugar. Bam walked over and gave Ville a lingering good morning kiss-his breath tasted like mint toothpaste he realized-then handed him his glass. Ville winked and purred another thank you. God, that wink never failed to make him blush. He watched as Ville downed half of the drink in one go, never taking his eyes off the newspaper.
“Why do you drink that stuff? It’s tangy and bitter and sour.”
“So is your come after you drink too much Jack Daniels, but you don’t hear me complaining about it.” Bam stiffened. Well this wasn’t how he wanted to start off his morning. He huffed and ran a hand through his hair. Normally, Bam would have come up with a response to the joke but it only seemed to unnerve him. Bam sighed, whishing that his frustration wouldn’t consume him.
You see, Ville’s comment didn’t bother him. It was just the cherry on a mountain pile of problems. Element was debating whether or not dropping him since he had cut back on touring a little too much…there was a glitch in the divorce papers…his crew slowly but surely deserting him. Heck, even April was avoiding him now. Bam attempted to compensate the losses by drowning in his favorite brand of whisky but he soon discovered the alcohol was drowning him. The escapism would only last till sunrise but the problems still remained.
But there was still Ville.
Ville was always there.
His love interest, seeing Bam’s disturbance, spoke.
“Bammie! Bammie! I was just joking. You know that.”
Bam faked a pout. He had thick skin but that didn’t mean he could play it up. And then, he could never let Ville know how much his problems were getting to him. He had to keep up the pretense. “You just said that I didn’t taste good. I’m offended.” He turned around and crossed his arms across his chest only to feel another pair lace around his waist. Bam couldn’t repress his shiver when Ville leaned into his neck and spoke, his breath ghosting across his neck.
“No I didn’t. I just said you taste funny when you drink too much alcohol.” The phrase when he could get it up was left unspoken.
“You can’t tell.”
“Oh, really? The last time I went down on you were sopping drunk.”
“You know that’s not true,” Bam defended, lying. His voice almost gave away his guilt. Even though the two lived together now (finally, finally at least they could have that), Bam was having a hard time adhering to Ville’s vow of sobriety. Sure, it didn’t pertain to him per say, but he did his best to clean himself up in turn as a show of support. Hell, he even drank less and if he had to have a cold one he did it outside of the house.
But lately, Bam had been having a harder time than usual. Due to all of the shit that was bothering him, he’d come home drunk and horny and, a few times, high. Sometimes he’d demand sex and Ville, wanting to avoid violence and not knowing what else to do, submitted. Other times he was so intoxicated all he could do was sleep it off. Bam was slipping. And he knew it. That was the worst part. Ville knew that he was going under. But...he didn't know if there would ever be an end to this problem. He didn't know how to stop. He watched as Ville’s expression darkened and realized that he was in for it.
“Bam. You can’t be serious. It’s been…” he held up a few fingers, “two months since you’ve dared to touch me in any sexual manner whilst sober. If I didn’t love you so much I would have killed you by now. There’s something wrong that you’re not telling me. I’m tired of your shit. I want to know. Now.”
“No. Nothing’s…wrong.”
“Do you think that having sex with me is such a chore that you have to be wasted in order to so it? I think that’s a problem.”
“No!”
“Am I not sexy enough?”
“Fuck, Ville that’s n-”
“If you want I can always just call her up. Maybe she will give me some tips on how to-”
“That’s not it!” he screamed.
“Then tell me what is!”
“It’s-It’s the Filthy Note. Commute’s been slow and it’s been bugging me lately and I can’t stop thinking about it.” Bam muttered solemnly. Ville looked him once over, his stormy green eyes softening. He took the lie for what it was; a lie. He knew that Bam wasn’t telling all of the truth (if he was telling it, that is). He would let it slide for now. But if Bam didn’t tell him soon…
Ville gently wrapped his arms around Bam’s frame. He was shaking slightly.
“I love you darling.”
“I love you, too.” His breath hitched holding back a sob. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. You’ll tell me what’s going on sometime, okay?”
“Yeah…okay.”
“Good. Cheer up, Bammie.” Ville said, giving him a last kiss before heading out the door and leaving Bam alone. He stood and observed the room. His eyes flickered over the sunlight filtering in through the window, the impression in the bed made by Ville’s body, and…and the nearly empty glass of grapefruit juice.
Bam walked over. He looked down at the glass and wondered if his relationship with Ville mirrored it. Tangy and sweet, leaving bitter taste in your mouth. He polished off the rest of it then cradled the glass in his hands…and tried not to drop it as he let his sobs overtake him.
Wild Strawberries
Bam was looking at one of the earlier photos of Ville around the time Razorblade Romance came out. He discovered that he couldn’t stop staring at Ville’s eye shadow. It was a jarringly colored pink that seemed like it could be red or maroon or fuchsia. It reminded him of…of...wild strawberries?
“What are you doing Bammie?” Ville said, wrapping a long arm around Bam’s waist. Completely caught off guard Bam jumped three feet in the air, making the Finn cackle his baritone laugh. He turned around to glare and say something scathing to his lover when he noticed something in the other’s hand. It was small and red but he couldn’t tell if it was a cherry or a tomato until Ville raised his hands to his lips. Bam watched, entranced, as Ville’s pink lips parted and wrapped around a whole strawberry. He was his reverie come true.
Ville didn’t object when Bam’s mouth met his own, his tongue darting towards the back of his mouth as if he wanted him to swallow him just like the fruit he had eaten. Bam pulled back, his lips pink and swollen. His expression was smug and at the same time utterly adorable. He let out a delighted little sigh and smiled brilliantly.
“Mmm, I love strawberries.”