The Sacred Heart of Shame, Ch. 2

[tragichypocrisy]

Title: The Sacred Heart of Shame, Ch. 2
Pairing: Vam
Rating: NC-17 eventually, for now there is a warning of mild violence though I can promise there will be a lot more violence down the road fyi.
Summary: Ville is a mysterious master of his castle and Bam is a servant he bought set in an AU medieval time.
Disclaimer: It's a fiction. 
Author's Notes: It's still build-up but hopefully it'll hold your attention. lol And there's an intro of Linde.




The next moment Bam was aware of anything there was a banging on his door before the creaking wood swung open hard enough it bounced off of the stone wall behind it. The same guard he had spent the night with before was standing there and speaking to him curtly even if Bam couldn’t understand a word of it.

The confusion on Bam’s face was obvious and the man walked over to draw the blankets down and point Bam to the door. He was not going to leave Bam realized and he pushed himself up to a seated position at least. As his feet hit the floor he hissed from the cold and pulled on the soft leather shoes he had been given the day before.

Running a hand through his hair he groaned again over how his curls were no doubt rising off of his head. Bam had to take a moment to even remember where he was and know that he was not dreaming. The sleep he had gotten was some of the best sleep of his life but waking to the strange place put him back into a mood he couldn’t get out of.

Bam was lead upstairs to the large hall filled with tables though there were not so many people there as he might have expected. Mostly men sat at the tables, less than a score of them. He sat with his guard and smiled when he saw the petite blonde girl serving the men their breakfast. Bam could tell it was night time again, the torches and candles lit around the room.

The change in sleep was getting to Bam but his stomach growled hungrily all the same as the fresh breakfast was placed in front of him with a hammered metal cup filled with something steaming. Bam lifted it up and sniffed at it, smelling some kind of herbs but not at all sure what they were. His throat was scratchy from his sleep though from snoring no doubt and he drank a few gulps of the brew down before he even touched the food.

Bam ate every last bite and did so at a fast pace, using the small wooden spoon he was given in the same manner a toddler might.

The young man was not awake enough to know anyone was watching him, too grumpy about it all to even care. Bam was not allowed to sit and relax for long though, being lead to his nightly duties and realizing quickly it was going to be a monotonous existence if he had to fill fireplaces for the rest of his life. He wondered what he would do when the summer came and fires were not necessary. Bam glanced at his guard several times as they went through, boredom apparent in his own face. He remembered all the things he was supposed to, getting the right number of logs in every room and the right number of knocks on every door. His guard seemed tense to him and Bam could not have cared less when it meant the man was quiet for the first few hours.

Bam was not prepared to be taken into what appeared to be a bathhouse adjacent to the main castle. He had never seen one before and didn’t readily know what it was until he was prompted to disrobe again. Bam put up a fight though it was purely verbal this time since he knew already how physical the guards could get and personal with the process for that matter.

Bam growled as he spat the words at his guards, “I don’t have any diseases, for the stars in heaven!”

The guard was not affected by his words at all instead tapping at the back of his leg with some sort of long, skinny wooden club. Bam sighed heavily and nearly stomped in place as he was taking off the clothing he had only just received the day before. Bam got into the water and this time was shocked to find it was hot water. Never in his life had he bathed in hot water. The feel of it alone was freaking him out at first but soon his muscles were relaxing and he felt the benefits of it working the kinks from his back from his duties.

Bam tried to shove the soap away from his head when he was directed to get the mop of curls wet again. He was cursing under his breath as he dunked under the water in the large tub and then washing through his hair again. He could not believe these people. He was sure it was some sort of paranoia they had about foreigners or poor people.

The young man left the bath when he was given a sheet of some kind to wrap up in. The guard walked him out of the room that way and Bam’s cheeks reddened again as he was taken through the empty halls back to the chambers he had slept in the night before. Soon he was being shown his bed which was made up and covered with different stacks of clothes.

Bam frowned as he saw them and then the guard was pushing him over to sit on the bed. The guard was speaking to him and explaining each piece, Bam not sure exactly what was being said but he was at least getting the gist of it. He had to wear some nicer clothes at the moment, seeing they were the right size for him if not a little snug. He tried not to be completely naked in front of the guard as he used the sheet to keep his lower half covered as he pulled on the items he was being handed. Bam had never worn such soft fabric before and ran his hands over his chest and belly as the white linen shirt covered him. The vest he was given next was a dark charcoal color but there were hints of blue sewn into the fabric to give it a textured feel. Bam was more concerned with how the things felt than what it was going to look like at the time. He put it on and worked through the tiny buttons before he was pulling on the pants that he was sure were far too small. The guard pressed on and helped Bam tie them in place before some other piece of material was wrapped around his hips and fastened behind him. Bam had no idea why he was being dressed the way he was but he guessed it was better than having to haul firewood at the moment.

Bam pulled the frock coat on when it was given to him and wasn’t going to fasten it until the guard started to do it for him. He actually smacked at the guard’s hand momentarily as he said aloud, “I’ll do it.”

Bam fixed it and then saw the comb on the small table by his bed along with a mirror. Bam had seen mirrors before but he had never had one to use for himself. The guard picked up the comb and when Bam tried to take it from him his guard smacked his hand this time and Bam’s ‘ow’ only seemed to amuse the guard.

Bam sighed heavily as he had his hair combed through, letting out little sounds of pain every so often as his guard became more impatient with his curls. Bam knew all about them but the guards were not listening to him when he tried to tell them to leave them alone.

Bam was busying himself thinking about the rooms he had seen and how nice everything was kept. He knew from experience it was because of the servants but still he wondered if he really was going to have to stay there until he died someday. It was a weird thought for the young man, never really considering his mortality much.

Feeling a tugging at the back of his head, Bam started to reach up but jerked his hand away when he sensed the guard going to hit him again. He sighed and endured whatever it was before he was handed the mirror. The guard stepped back and was smiling for some reason as Bam looked into the mirror and his eyes rounded. His hand lifted to touch at his hair but he was careful at least. Somehow the guy had managed to tie his curls back and even if a few strands were escaping around his brow it still looked better than how it was before he was sure.

Bam looked to his guard and actually saw him as a man for the first time. He was put together well, all of his clothing black like all the guards but clean and fastened properly. His hair was very long and blonde and tied back sleekly. Bam realized that perhaps he had been looking pretty messy when he arrived but really didn’t think it was his fault after a two day pilgrimage in a cage-like carriage.

Standing up the guard held up his hand to tell him to wait, Bam finally recognizing the word. He sat back down as he chuckled to himself, remembering his guard had said the word an awful lot to him as he hurried through his work. Bam’s blue eyes sparkled as he realized he had rushed the guard through the duties just to be done with them and maybe the guard liked taking his time. His guard obviously didn’t see what was so funny but helped Bam figure out how to put on the nicer boots he was being given. There was a slight heel on them and Bam was really unsure he should be wearing them but his guard was insistent.

Bam was completely dressed but his guard was holding up other things and telling him things repeatedly. Bam finally understood he was being given sleeping clothes and several sets of work clothes which were all being folded and put on separate shelves in the room. Bam nodded that he understood, finally starting to get into the talking and pointing way of communicating his guard used.

Bam finally couldn’t stand it any more and had to know if he was going to be treated like a person or not. He felt like he was at least with his guard so he asked, “What’s your name? Your name?”

Bam pointed at the guard’s chest and then pointed at his own as he said, “Mine’s Bam. Bam.” He tapped his chest again and then pointed to his guard, “Your name?”

The guard was plenty smart enough to understand the boy even if he pretended not to most of the time. A slight smile emerged on the guard’s face before he said quietly, “Linde.”

Bam nodded and felt like he was making progress as he said it back to him, “Linde. It’s nice to meet you.”

The guard listened and nodded back before he went to the door and opened it, gesturing for Bam to follow him as he was saying the words in the foreign tongue. Bam was catching on quickly at least, following the guard out into the castle halls again. He was only slightly less embarrassed in his new clothes as he was in just the sheet. He felt highly overdressed especially when they had to walk through the eating hall and the blonde girl saw him. She was staring with an open mouth, still dressed in servants’ clothing. Bam looked down so he didn’t have to see her look and followed Linde out of the huge room to be taken up another set of stairs and into a room he hadn’t been in before.

Bam was in for a real surprise since he apparently had gotten dressed up for no one. There was no one waiting for him and soon he was being handed parchment and a tub of ink with a pen. Bam shook his head and Linde nodded as if he knew what Bam was going to say.

Linde brought over some other papers and sat beside Bam before he started pointing out letters. Bam sighed and told him truthfully, “I can’t read. I really can’t read whatever it is you speak. I can’t even read my own language.”

Bam’s frustration was very apparent and he was surprised when Linde’s hand went over his and patted there before he helped Bam grip the pen the correct way and dipped it into the ink well. He pointed to the blank parchment with soft lines scratched into them already before Linde was pointing at a letter again. Linde had a pen and well of his own and took a blank sheet as he pointed at Bam’s eyes and then to his own paper, showing him one line at a time how to create the letter on paper.

Bam was forced to repeat Linde’s letters over and over again until Bam’s fingertips were stained with the ink he was using. His hand cramped from the new practice and Linde would let him stop writing but only while he was telling him the names of the letters and making Bam repeat it out loud.

The young man went through the same ritual every day for a week, seldom seeing anyone else but Linde and the men in the hall when they were served their meals three times a day like clockwork.

Bam was getting irritated with the schedule but he was learning all the same. He was also being forced to bathe every day and learn to fix his hair and even clean his own wardrobe properly. He didn’t have to do his laundry apparently but Linde thought he should know how anyhow.

Bam didn’t know why he was having to dress up to go sit in a room alone with Linde and learn handwriting but he did it anyhow. Soon he was not even being escorted from room to room by his guard either. Linde met him at different points at different times to see his work and let him know when it was time to eat or to bathe or to change. Other than that he was being allowed to work on his own which he was happy about. He could at least think about whatever he wanted during those times and no one interrupted him. After a week of the same routine, Bam had not seen the king in the castle even once and wondered if he had left. Of course Bam was given a night time assignment and slept from midday to evening every day so it was reasonable to think he was missing out on seeing most of the people who lived in the place.

Bam was in the middle of his lessons with Linde the first time he did see the king again. This time he heard Linde mumble quietly to him as the footsteps were heard in the hall. He could have swore he heard Linde say it was ‘master Ville’ coming. Linde stood up when the door opened and had his hands behind his back as he bowed forward slightly and said his greetings.

Bam was learning some things pretty easily. He knew simple words and definitely the infuriating alphabet. He also knew the words for meal time, sleep, bath, walk, wood, fire, lessons, hello, goodbye, goodnight. Those things were easy to pick up on when he had to hear them so damn much.

Bam saw the king’s face and thought he looked tired, finding his theory on everyone else sleeping at night to be very likely. He stood up as well and put a hand to his belly as he bowed forward too and then just stood there. His posture was not as tight as Linde’s but he was putting forth some effort at least. Bam didn’t know what to think when the king just stood there and stared back at him.

After a moment, the master’s eyes stopped their perusal of the young boy and turned on Linde. “Show me his work.”

Bam was surprised again to hear his native tongue and then moreso when Linde replied, “He is doing very well.” The boy’s mouth hung open for a second before he forced it to shut and just sat down in his chair. Linde had known what he was saying all along and never once tried to help him out by telling him so or telling him what he wanted him to do in his own language. Bam found himself pissed off at Linde enough that he wasn’t even paying attention as he master looked over his papers. The only thing that caught his attention was when he heard the king say, “Bam.”

Bam turned his eyes up to look at him as if he was being called for something but he wasn’t. The king was tracing over his name on one of the papers and then handing them back to Linde with a nod of approval. The king’s eyes fell on Bam for a moment before he made a sound that Bam thought was universal for just having to think. The king was gone. Just like that he left and the door closed and Linde was back to speaking in a language he didn’t understand.

Bam lived through the feigned ignorance but he made sure to complain about it more often since he knew Linde understood what he was saying. There was some small victory in knowing that at least. Bam was figuring out that most people in the castle did not know any language but the one they were born with which created a gap between most of the servants and the guards.

What was becoming more profound to the young man was how isolated he really was. Bam was not a guard and therefore the guards did not treat him as an equal. Bam was not kept like the other servants were either though and so the others he had arrived with did not talk to him either. Linde was the closest thing to a friend he had and most the time Bam was pretty certain he was annoying him by his mere existence. Bam actively tried to annoy Linde sometimes but not usually and he still seemed annoyed.

Despite the fact that Bam spent the first few hours of his night between breakfast and lunch working his ass off in the castle he simply was not seen as a part of the servants. How could he be when he was forced to dress a certain way throughout the night and was always still in that garb when most of the others were awakening for the morning shift? It was impossible and Bam actually found himself asking Linde if he could just forego the fancy clothes and wear some clean work clothes.

The look on Linde’s face told Bam that perhaps his guard had some sympathy for him but his answer made Bam’s shoulders fall all the same. He was to dress how he was told, when he was told. Bam put on the nice clothing as he was supposed to after Linde left his chambers but he was downhearted about the entire effort.

It was an unfortunate coincidence that the night’s lessons with Linde would be another opportunity the king took to visit. Bam stood and bowed when Linde did but sat back in his chair right afterwards and leaned his head in his palm as he stared at the parchment he was working on. He was copying word for word from another scroll Linde had given him and practicing reading the words out loud to Linde after each sentence was copied. Even if he didn’t know every word he was learning to pronounce them.

Bam wasn’t listening to the king and Linde talking until he saw a hand in his line of vision and his chin was grabbed. He looked up into the fierce green eyes of the man he hadn’t seen for another two weeks and realized he might have offended him by sitting down. He wasn’t sure. Whatever it was the king did not look happy.

“Did I do something?”

“Stand up.”

Bam took in a breath and then obeyed albeit slowly since he felt some kind of energy coming from the king that was somewhat discomfiting. The king pointed to he front of the desk and Bam walked around to stand where he was directed as he kept his eyes on the man in front of him. Bam waited and didn’t say a word though he saw Linde’s worried look from behind the king.

“Your guard tells me you are having problems with the servants. Is this true?”

Bam’s eyes widened slightly as he realized he had been told on. He looked at Linde and somehow knew if he lied one or both of them would be in trouble. Looking back to the king’s face, he nodded and then felt like he had to explain himself, “I don’t mean to get any one in trouble. There really isn’t so many problems.”

“Did my guard deceive me?”

“No.”

“Then speak, boy. What is the problem?”

“I…” Bam blushed hotly as he felt suddenly embarrassed to be complaining about people talking to him to the king. It didn’t seem silly when he was telling Linde but in front of the king he felt like a child and he wasn’t a child anymore. “I was just asking if I could dress like the other servants because I think they don’t want to talk to me when I’m dressed like this.”

“Are they cruel to you?” The question seemed very controlled and Bam felt nervous just answering it.

“No, they mostly just avoid me.” Bam lowered his head only to have his chin jerked back up and his eyes forced to look into the verdant gaze of his king.

“Do you think you are not one of them?”

“No, I know I’m a servant.” Bam felt like he was in some kind of word trap he couldn’t get out of but was too scared to lie all at the same time. He was sure if he had more time to think he would figure out what to say to make it all stop but the king left him no time.

“Yes, little Bam, you are a servant. You are here to serve me, to do as I ask of you. And I wish for you to dress this way and to learn from your very capable teacher. Instead of asking for more leniency I believe you should be more grateful for what you have been given.”

Bam almost lowered his head but stopped himself since he had been forced to look up twice already, “Yes, sir.”

Bam was not prepared for the back of the king’s hand to land hard against his mouth and stumbled back from the blow before he righted himself by holding on to the table. When he looked back at the king Bam saw a smile on his face he had not seen since the first time they had met.

“What was that, Bam?”

Bam tried to think around what the king was implying and reran the conversation in his head as quickly as he possibly could before he looked to Linde and said quietly, “Thank you for efforts, Linde. I will try to be more grateful from now on.”

His guard did not look like he wanted to be a part of the conversation in any way, but he replied all the same, “I am honored to share the gift of knowledge with you, Bam.”

When Bam looked back to the king he flinched as the king stepped even closer to him and then held his breath as he stood still for whatever was coming next. He felt the king’s fingertips at his chin again but they were not pinching as they had before. The pad of the king’s thumb brushed over Bam’s lower lip before the touch was pulled away and the boy saw his blood being rubbed between the king’s fingertips.

“That is much better.” The king remarked with that same smile and a calculating stare. His gaze turned back on Linde though as they exchanged words and Linde kept a subservient tone as he gave short answers. There was no arguing from his guard this time even if Linde was the one who looked like he had been struck.

Bam watched as the king left the room, shutting the door abruptly as he went. When Linde was quickly at his side, Bam almost jumped again but relaxed when he remembered why he had seen that smile before. The king had touched him then too, but he wasn’t just touching him. The king had been admiring him and more specifically his bruised face.

Linde’s voice broke his thoughts but mimicked them in so many ways, “I wish you would not provoke him.” Linde was hurriedly stacking their papers and looking upset, making Bam wonder how it was his fault.

“I didn’t tell him any of those things. You did.” Bam felt like he had to say it and most especially since Linde was finally breaking his own rules and speaking in English to him.

Linde’s pale face turned to Bam’s immediately and then he shook his head before looking down and saying, “None of that matters now. We have to hurry. Get your things together.”

Bam was confused. He knew they had plenty of time for his lessons. He was generally told about any extra activities or duties for the night when Linde first came to wake him. “I’m sorry, Linde.”

Bam’s tone made Linde pause and look at the infuriating boy for a long moment before he was moving to the door and said, “Don’t be, not to me. You have yourself to think about now.”

Linde’s warning was not sinking in as Bam carried his things and followed Linde through the hall. They were heading down stairs and soon Bam realized it was the direction of his own chambers. “Where are we going?”

Linde sighed and looked back over his shoulder before he looked ahead and said, “Your bedroom.”

Linde would not answer any more questions until they were back in Bam’s room and Linde was almost shaking. Bam frowned as he asked behind closed doors, “What’s wrong?”

Linde’s eyes settled on Bam’s before he said, “You need to get cleaned up… again, I know, yes, but you will do it.” Linde was not giving an inch and Bam felt like he was in some strange dream if he had to take a second bath in one day.

“Why?”

“Because you are having dinner with the Master tonight.” Linde said the words like they were a sentence and not a change of plans.