Thank God for the Suffering...
Title: Thank God for the Suffering
Author: danisgirl_cof
Summary: It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone mentioned. This is just my imagination, so please don't sue. I definitely do not own the lyrics to the song "Thank God for the Suffering". That is a song that belongs to the sexy mind of Dani Filth and his affiliates.
Author's Note: I can't take credit for this idea. It was originally drunkonhim's idea, but she kept demanding that I do it instead of her.
“I, I still recall that first full moon of May,
`Neath whose rays we lay together.
And those bright nights of glassy waves
Where we would glide lightly away (from the grain),
For wicked flights of Pleasure…”
Bam stared blankly out into the familiar scene before him. He sat in front of a large lake surrounded by lush greenery. Though you couldn’t see much of it at this time of night, Bam could tell you every inch of this place simply from memory, for he used to come here often…
He could remember when he and his lover, Ville, would come here to simply get away from it all. It was a beautiful, secluded spot where neither of them could ever be bothered. It was sort of like their secret getaway, so to speak. Oftentimes, they would lay by the bank of the lake and make sweet, passionate love. It was a way for them both to tear themselves away from their realities, even if for just a brief moment in time. It was always Bam’s favorite day of the week - when he would meet up with Ville and escape into ecstasy.
“Those visions fade,
Like ghosts to life’s parade,
Though incisions once made Her so vivid.
A scarlet Whore
With both heels in the door
Of a Heaven severed from Me, Insipid…”
A tear slipped from the corner of Bam’s eye at the last few memories he shared with Ville. One night, as they lay there by the lake in a warm embrace, Bam had noticed deep cuts on Ville’s arms. When he would ask about it, Ville would pull his arm away and tell him that it was nothing in a small, sad voice. Bam would beg for him to say what was wrong, but Ville would always pull away and avoid the subject. It pained Bam that Ville wasn’t willing to talk to him about his problems.
And finally, one day, Ville never showed at their usual meeting place. Bam had waited for what seemed like hours to meet his love, telling himself over and over again that he was coming, that he was probably just held up at work or something. The sun fell below the horizon, and the full moon proudly arose in it’s place, shining its bright light down on earth. Bam couldn’t remember how long it had actually been until he finally gave up and pulled out his cell phone, finding Ville in his contacts.
“And midst the writhe of Parapets
Where Angels sigh, lonely She sits (upon the lip),
Only a slip from whence I beg Her…”
It was a small service, consisting of family and extremely close friends. The eulogy speaker only talked about what his family had filled him in on. Not once would the man ever mention the fact that he and Bam were lovers, nor that they were closer than anyone in that room could have ever been. As Bam looked around at the people, he saw women wiping their eyes lightly with handkerchiefs and men sitting quietly with their arms around their wives in a comforting manner. Some people would look back at him, but quickly look away. Bam knew why. None of Ville’s family ever really wanted to accept what Bam was to him.
They had all gone out to where Ville’s ashes were to be scattered, Bam taking the deepest strike of sorrow when he saw where they were being taken.
They all walked up to the lakeside, and Ville’s family handed Bam the urn. When Bam gave them a curious gaze, they informed him that it was Ville’s wishes to be scattered into the lake by ‘his closest friend.’ So, Bam took it and waded knee-deep into the lake, not even bothering to roll up his pants or remove his shoes. He opened the urn and began pouring out the white ash, tears streaming from his eyes as he silently cursed to any omnipotent entity that would listen.
“That I would wish
Her kiss a Chrysalis
To break, to make My fluttered heart amiss.
And in those frozen moments won,
From Grief that creeps to wreathe the sun,
In drapes inwove with deathshead wing,
I thank God for the Suffering…”
Bam still cursed himself for ever becoming involved with the man. He wished that he never met him, so that he wouldn’t have had to endure this dreadful heartbreak.
He looked up to the sky, where the stars and full moon gazed back at him impassively. Even though he had been grieving for what seemed like an eternity over something that he couldn‘t control, he would never change anything in the past. For, even though he now ached from his memories, it was the greatest time he ever spent in his life.
As Shakespeare had once said, it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
“And in those frozen moments won,
From Grief that creeps to wreathe the sun,
In drapes inwove with deathshead wing,
I thank God for the Suffering…
And I thank God for the Suffering.
And still I burn for Her return,
I would make my peace with Everything.”
Even when Bam looked at it that way, he still couldn’t help but beg selfishly to have his lover back. What he wouldn’t do just to have him back by his side. To share more precious, sentimental moments with his one-and-only true love. To be able to touch that pale, delicate skin one more time, and to feel that warmth that fit him so perfectly just one last time.
If he could just have that one moment - just that one glorious sliver of time - he would stop cursing God for putting him through such agonizing torture. He would go back to the way he was before he even met Ville. Back when he was content with just being with his friends and family. Hell, he would even talk to his friends and family again. They were surely worried about him, not that Bam really cared anymore.
“I, I still recall that first full moon of May,
Consigned to flames like secret letters.
And midst the writhe of Parapets
Where Angels sigh, lonely She sits (upon the lip),
Only a slip from whence I beg Her…”
But until he could have his moment back, Bam would visit his favorite spot the same day of the week that he used to meet with Ville. He would constantly reflect on those magnificent days that had brought him so much joy. It was all he could do to keep from dying inside.
And every time he recalled those precious moments, he thanked God for the smile that would always appear on his face, despite the tear that would consecutively slide down his cheek.
Bam looked up to the sky one last time, praying that Ville was being well taken care of, wherever he was. He demanded that Ville wait for him up there, for it probably wouldn’t be too long before he had joined him. But nobody knew the future. Maybe good things were still in store for him.
“And in those frozen moments won,
From Grief that creeps to wreathe the sun,
In drapes inwove with deathshead wing,
I thank God for the Suffering…”
==========================================================================================================================
Comments = LIFE!
This is the original song of which the lyrics originate =D
Author: danisgirl_cof
Summary: It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone mentioned. This is just my imagination, so please don't sue. I definitely do not own the lyrics to the song "Thank God for the Suffering". That is a song that belongs to the sexy mind of Dani Filth and his affiliates.
Author's Note: I can't take credit for this idea. It was originally drunkonhim's idea, but she kept demanding that I do it instead of her.
“I, I still recall that first full moon of May,
`Neath whose rays we lay together.
And those bright nights of glassy waves
Where we would glide lightly away (from the grain),
For wicked flights of Pleasure…”
Bam stared blankly out into the familiar scene before him. He sat in front of a large lake surrounded by lush greenery. Though you couldn’t see much of it at this time of night, Bam could tell you every inch of this place simply from memory, for he used to come here often…
He could remember when he and his lover, Ville, would come here to simply get away from it all. It was a beautiful, secluded spot where neither of them could ever be bothered. It was sort of like their secret getaway, so to speak. Oftentimes, they would lay by the bank of the lake and make sweet, passionate love. It was a way for them both to tear themselves away from their realities, even if for just a brief moment in time. It was always Bam’s favorite day of the week - when he would meet up with Ville and escape into ecstasy.
“Those visions fade,
Like ghosts to life’s parade,
Though incisions once made Her so vivid.
A scarlet Whore
With both heels in the door
Of a Heaven severed from Me, Insipid…”
A tear slipped from the corner of Bam’s eye at the last few memories he shared with Ville. One night, as they lay there by the lake in a warm embrace, Bam had noticed deep cuts on Ville’s arms. When he would ask about it, Ville would pull his arm away and tell him that it was nothing in a small, sad voice. Bam would beg for him to say what was wrong, but Ville would always pull away and avoid the subject. It pained Bam that Ville wasn’t willing to talk to him about his problems.
And finally, one day, Ville never showed at their usual meeting place. Bam had waited for what seemed like hours to meet his love, telling himself over and over again that he was coming, that he was probably just held up at work or something. The sun fell below the horizon, and the full moon proudly arose in it’s place, shining its bright light down on earth. Bam couldn’t remember how long it had actually been until he finally gave up and pulled out his cell phone, finding Ville in his contacts.
“And midst the writhe of Parapets
Where Angels sigh, lonely She sits (upon the lip),
Only a slip from whence I beg Her…”
It was a small service, consisting of family and extremely close friends. The eulogy speaker only talked about what his family had filled him in on. Not once would the man ever mention the fact that he and Bam were lovers, nor that they were closer than anyone in that room could have ever been. As Bam looked around at the people, he saw women wiping their eyes lightly with handkerchiefs and men sitting quietly with their arms around their wives in a comforting manner. Some people would look back at him, but quickly look away. Bam knew why. None of Ville’s family ever really wanted to accept what Bam was to him.
They had all gone out to where Ville’s ashes were to be scattered, Bam taking the deepest strike of sorrow when he saw where they were being taken.
They all walked up to the lakeside, and Ville’s family handed Bam the urn. When Bam gave them a curious gaze, they informed him that it was Ville’s wishes to be scattered into the lake by ‘his closest friend.’ So, Bam took it and waded knee-deep into the lake, not even bothering to roll up his pants or remove his shoes. He opened the urn and began pouring out the white ash, tears streaming from his eyes as he silently cursed to any omnipotent entity that would listen.
“That I would wish
Her kiss a Chrysalis
To break, to make My fluttered heart amiss.
And in those frozen moments won,
From Grief that creeps to wreathe the sun,
In drapes inwove with deathshead wing,
I thank God for the Suffering…”
Bam still cursed himself for ever becoming involved with the man. He wished that he never met him, so that he wouldn’t have had to endure this dreadful heartbreak.
He looked up to the sky, where the stars and full moon gazed back at him impassively. Even though he had been grieving for what seemed like an eternity over something that he couldn‘t control, he would never change anything in the past. For, even though he now ached from his memories, it was the greatest time he ever spent in his life.
As Shakespeare had once said, it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
“And in those frozen moments won,
From Grief that creeps to wreathe the sun,
In drapes inwove with deathshead wing,
I thank God for the Suffering…
And I thank God for the Suffering.
And still I burn for Her return,
I would make my peace with Everything.”
Even when Bam looked at it that way, he still couldn’t help but beg selfishly to have his lover back. What he wouldn’t do just to have him back by his side. To share more precious, sentimental moments with his one-and-only true love. To be able to touch that pale, delicate skin one more time, and to feel that warmth that fit him so perfectly just one last time.
If he could just have that one moment - just that one glorious sliver of time - he would stop cursing God for putting him through such agonizing torture. He would go back to the way he was before he even met Ville. Back when he was content with just being with his friends and family. Hell, he would even talk to his friends and family again. They were surely worried about him, not that Bam really cared anymore.
“I, I still recall that first full moon of May,
Consigned to flames like secret letters.
And midst the writhe of Parapets
Where Angels sigh, lonely She sits (upon the lip),
Only a slip from whence I beg Her…”
But until he could have his moment back, Bam would visit his favorite spot the same day of the week that he used to meet with Ville. He would constantly reflect on those magnificent days that had brought him so much joy. It was all he could do to keep from dying inside.
And every time he recalled those precious moments, he thanked God for the smile that would always appear on his face, despite the tear that would consecutively slide down his cheek.
Bam looked up to the sky one last time, praying that Ville was being well taken care of, wherever he was. He demanded that Ville wait for him up there, for it probably wouldn’t be too long before he had joined him. But nobody knew the future. Maybe good things were still in store for him.
“And in those frozen moments won,
From Grief that creeps to wreathe the sun,
In drapes inwove with deathshead wing,
I thank God for the Suffering…”
==========================================================================================================================
Comments = LIFE!
This is the original song of which the lyrics originate =D
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