Yay For A Long Update!
Title: Love On The Rocks
Author: myforgottenpain
Pairing: Vam
Rating: PG-13 Foul Language, Alcohol References, and adult situation.
Summary: Bam's new found friendship with Ville had made him question parts of his life he has long since repressed. Through an unexpected visit from the Finnish rock star, many bottles of beer, and a special tattoo; Bam must decide if he wants to embrace a side of himself that he has always longed to explore.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends.
Authors Notes: Dedicated to the lovely and wonderful nailsnoir777.
A gentle knock on the door, drew Missy's attention to it. She stood in silence, unsure of why she was so nervous. Maybe it was because there had never been a reason for anyone to knock on her door before. Ville, as good of friends as they were, had never really come down to her room before. And Bam had a tendency to just walk into rooms without knocking, no matter who it belonged too.
The knock came again and it made Missy jump. She rung her hands and managed to squeak out, "Yes?" The door cracked open and Jonna stuck her head in.
"Missy?" Came Jonna's sweet, accent ladened, voice. It made Missy's heart beat faster.
"Jonna." Missy breathed, wondering suddenly if she looked and smelled alright. Jonna seemed to catch this moment of insecurity and moved fully into the room. She leaned her back against the door to shut it and lingered by it a second. Slowly she moved closer to Missy.
"Missy?" She started, finding the words hard to say.
"Jonna." Missy replied, which made them both giggle. It helped to ease the tension between them.
"We're not getting any where love." Jonna replied softly, reaching out to run her hand along Missy's cheek. The gentle touch drew a shaky breath from Missy, who felt her cheeks get warmer.
"I know." Missy whispered softly, looking down as she gently placed her hand on Jonna's hips. She inched Jonna closer to her, chewing on her bottom lip, looking to Jonna through the tops of her eyes.
"What do you want to do about that?" Jonna whispered, one of her hands cupping Missy's cheek, her other hand resting on her hip. Her fingers slipped under her shirt a little, caressing Missy's smooth tan skin. She brushed her lips against Missy's encouraging her to release her bottom lip. As soon as she did Jonna kissed it, sucking on it gently.
With an air of confidence, Jonna slipped her arm fully around Missy, pulling her close. Missy in turn, wrapped her arms around Jonna, gripping onto the back of her shirt. Their kiss slowly deepened, just enjoying the closeness that they had so longed for. That was until...
The door burst open and Bam cam striding into the room. Missy openly glared at Bam, like she wanted to unleash the very hounds of Hell itself on her husband. Jonna tried not to smile at the face Missy was making. She lingered in Missy's embrace, both of her arms around Missy now, as she leaned her head against Missy's shoulder. "Hi Bam." Jonna replied.
"Hi Jonna." Bam replied causally, stopping at Missy's side. He had a large bowl of popcorn propped on his hip and was already munching on some of the salty, buttery, snack. "We're going to start the movie..." He paused, looking to Missy who was still glaring at him. "What?"
Missy's eyes got a little wider as she indicated with her head to Jonna. Bam looked to Jonna, who waved. "Bam!" Missy asked, trying to some how make Bam understand that he had walked in on a very sweet moment.
Bam's eyes went wide. "Were you guys getting it on in here?" He asked, indicating to them.
Jonna laughed as Missy sighed and leaned her head against Jonna's shoulder. "You have such a way with words Bam. Its astonishing."
Bam smiled a little, "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to interrupt. I thought you wanted to watch the movie with us."
Missy smiled at Bam, "I'm surprised that you wouldn't jump at the chance to have Ville all alone."
Bam fidgeted in his spot, looking down for a moment. He had initially wanted it to be just him and Ville, especially since it had taken a million years to get Ape to leave them alone. "I didn't want to exclude you."
Missy's smile broadened, "Feel free to exclude me." She kissed Bam on the cheek quickly, "Thank you and everything. But really... I think you should go watch the movie... with Ville... and without me."
"And without me." Jonna adding, smiling as she leaned in to kiss Missy on the neck.
Bam chuckled and headed for the door. "Alright, have fun. Next time you should lock the door." He suggested as he walked through the doorway.
"Like locks have ever stopped you before." Missy commented good naturally.
Bam stopped and thought about that, "Good point. Alright... see you later." He went back to munching on his popcorn, pausing when he heard Missy shriek loudly with happiness. Chuckling a little to himself, he went back down to the living room. Ville was curled up on the couch, nursing a cup of hot tea. He smiled when Bam came back, but then was confused.
"No Missy and Jonna?" Ville asked, watching as Bam took the other corner of the couch. He kicked his slippers off and pulled his feet onto the couch, they were right next to Ville's.
"I thought we could watch the movie alone. Spend some time together." Bam offered with a smile.
The corner of Ville's mouth turned up in a half grin. "You walked in on Missy and Jonna getting cozy didn't you?"
Bam chuckled, "Oh yah."
Ville was silent for a moment, simultaneously happy for and jealous of the women upstairs. His eyes moved from Bam to the tea and he frowned a little. Bam noticed the change and cast down his eyes too. Ville hated how sick he was still, how slowly his body seemed to be healing. He understood why, over a decade of abusing it had come and gone, but that didn't stop it from hurting.
He was back with Bam once more, which made him eternally happy. But there was that final barrier between them. It had only been a short time since he had come back to Castle Bam. While the extreme side of his withdrawal was starting to pass, he could finally eat more then a few bites of food at any time, he was still easily tired and quick to feel nauseated.
This left Bam afraid to do anything with him, treating Ville like a delicate piece of china. He was still slightly worried that some how he would mess up again and Ville would leave him. He didn't want to push things, which just made things worse. While Ville wasn't always thinking of things as sexually as Bam was, he longed to have Bam close, to feel his body against his own and to smell his skin and hair. "You know, you don't have to sit on the other side of the room from me." Ville commented softly.
Bam tossed some popcorn into his mouth. He regarded Ville for a moment as he chewed thoughtfully. "I'm not. I'm sitting on the couch with you right now."
Ville sighed and put his tea down. "You don't have to sit on the other side of the couch then Bam." Bam finished chewing the popcorn in his mouth slowly, suddenly intently interested in his popcorn bowl. The movie was all but forgotten for the moment. "Bam..." Ville replied softly, brushing his toes against Bam's since they were the closest part of the skater to him. He started to add something when he noticed the playful spark in Bam's eyes suddenly appear.
"Ewww... you're touching my feet with yours. How gross." Bam replied playfully, hoping to lighten the sudden change in mood, (as well as distract Ville from where he might have been going with his next comment) curling up more with his popcorn. He noticed the stunned yet amused look in Ville's eyes and tossed some popcorn at him. "You're gross and icky and probably have cooties." Bam added, trying to sound as childish as this was meant to seem.
Ville grinned and kicked Bam's foot. "I'll give you cooties."
Bam gasped and kicked Ville back. "Don't touch me with your dirty feet. All sweaty and dirty and... feet like!"
Before they knew what was happening they were both on their backs, kicking each others feet, laughing and tossing playful insults back and forth. Popcorn was flying everywhere, mostly because Bam was still clutching the bowl, and his movements were shaking it. But it was also because of him throwing it at Ville. Ville switched between tossing it at Bam and opening his mouth to try and catch it. Between fits of laughter, Bam tried to catch it when Ville threw it at him.
Ryan walked into the living room, paused for maybe a second, then turned right around and left. "I don't even want to know." He mumbled to himself after walking in on Bam and Ville slapping the bottoms of their feet together, red in the face from laughing so hard.
"Alright... alright..." Bam mumbled, moving so he could sit up. "Are we going to watch the movie?" Bam asked, getting up so he could get the remote. Ville was silently glad that the play fight was over. As much as he had enjoyed it, the burst of excitement had tired him out pretty quickly. He gulped down some of his tea in the hopes that it would wake him up more.
When Bam moved, Ville quickly stretched his body out on the couch, tucking one arm behind his head. He meet Bam's amused grin with one of his own. He felt like he could easily fall asleep, but he didn't want to end the playful banter yet. Bam slowly walked over to the couch. "What do you think you're doing?"
Ville tried to look innocent, but his eyes were dancing with mischief. "I'm going to watch a movie with you of course."
Bam chuckled, "Where am I suppose to sit?"
Ville grinned, "I already said you could lay with me." He replied, dragging his fingers up the inner side of Bam's leg until he reached his knee. He then wrapped his hand around it, pulling it closer, trying to encourage Bam to join him.
Bam's breath was hitched in his throat, when he felt shivers race through his body, from how Ville touched him. He quickly suppressed the urge to pounce the other man and ravish him, instead he nodded and carefully laid on the couch with Ville. Ville pressed his body against Bam's back, resting his head against Bam's neck as he wrapped his arm around the smaller man.
Bam wrapped his arm around Ville's kissing the other man's hand. He clicked the DVD player on and tossed the remote to the floor. Tucking his arm under his head, he closed his eyes and enjoyed he feeling of Ville's breath on his neck. He knew before the movie has half over, Ville would be sound asleep. Then again, by the time the credits were rolling, Bam would be snoring softly too.
********************
The dew on the lawn splashed onto his shoes as he walked through his yard. The day was just beginning and held so much promise. Bam had come out to do this task several times in the last month, secretly looking for the ring that Ville had tossed out. But now with Ville in his home once more, he felt a renewed sense of purpose in this task.
The sun was just starting to warm the earth below. Bam drew in a breath, running his hands through his hair. It had been just about two weeks since Ville had come home to him. He was taking time from work under the guise of being in rehab. Technically he was, just not in a clinic. Bam had spent many nights fantasizing about what he would do to have Ville living under his roof, not to mention what they would do to each other. Helping him through detox wasn't exactly what he had always hoped for. But he couldn't think of anything else he would rather do.
They were helping each other find a better way of living and he was just happy to have Ville back. He paused and looked to his bedroom window, imaging how Ville was laying right now in his bed, resting. His health was finally taking a significant turn for the better. Bam smiled happily for a moment before turning his attention back to the lawn.
So far, no attempts at finding the ring had worked. Just about everyone they knew had come, at some point to look for it, but it seemed to have vanished from the face of the earth. Bam could easily just buy another ring, but there seemed to be something symbolic about finding the ring himself.
****
April had insisted on going over to visit Ville and Bam. She had always adored Ville and treated him, like the rest of their children's friends, as part of an extended family. Seeing Ville in such a state the last week, only made her want to mother him more. That and she felt a little bad for telling the story about how she figured out that they were together. It had earned the pair constant jabs from their friends.
They pulled into the driveway and Phil tapped her on the shoulder. "Whats Bam doing?" Once the car was parked, they walked over to the side yard where Bam was kneeling and crawling across the lawn. "Bam?" Phil asked.
Bam looked up at his parents. "Hi... just... umm... looking for something." He replied with a nod, going back to looking through the grass.
Phil and April exchanged knowing smiles. "We've all looked for it... and no one can find it Bam." Phil replied.
Bam drew in a breath and nodded, "I know... but... it cant hurt to look one more time?"
April smiled at Bam, "no.. I don't suppose it would hurt to look one more time. We'll just be inside. I'm going to start working on some breakfast for you two. I'm so proud of you both. You're both doing a wonderful job..."
"Ape?" Bam asked, kneeling in the grass as he looked to his mother again.
She drew in a breath, "Yes Bam?"
Bam looked away for a moment, picking at some grass. "Can I talk to you two before breakfast? Well... at least before Ville wakes up?"
Phil and April nodded and reassured him that they would talk to him whenever he wanted. They would always be here for him. They went into the house and Bam was soon in the kitchen with them. April had coffee, juice and muffins waiting for him.
"Did you find it?" April asked, with a slight tone of hopefulness.
Bam shook his head and April quickly turned the conversation to the light breakfast she had whipped up for them.
"So... what did you want to tell us about?" Phil asked as they sat down together.
Bam drew in a breath, picking at his muffin, pulling the nuts out of it. April frowned and smacked Bam's hand lightly. "Must you pick your food apart?" She asked in a motherly tone. Bam smiled softly, taking a bit of the muffin.
"Better?" Bam asked, showing his mom the chewed up, soggy, muffin in his mouth.
Phil chuckled while April pushed Bam away. "Thats disgusting Bam!" She scolded, shaking her head. God she adored her children.
"Bam?" Phil replied, looking to Bam in that way that said, 'alright, enough with the distractions... whats going on?'
Bam drew in a breath, "I know you already know what I am going to say. Everyone already knows. But... I think its important that you actually hear it from my mouth." He looked to his parents who had visibly taken on a tone of seriousness, they nodded for him to continue. "I'm gay..... and... I'm in love with Ville. And... Ville is in love with me. The day that we broke up was our fifth anniversary."
April and Phil smiled happily. April reached out and took Bam's hands in her own, while Phil wrapped his arm around Bam. "Thank you for telling us." Phil replied softly.
Bam nodded, thanking them for their patiences and understanding. He pulled off his ring and showed it to them. "It says, 'My home is in your arms'." He explained, going on to tell them about what he had engraved on Ville's ring and the significance of Ville's choice.
"I always knew you would be a good boyfriend some day." April replied.
Bam chuckled a little, looking at his mothers hand on his own. "Such a good boyfriend I hid the best thing that ever happened to me for five years. Such a wonderful boyfriend that I hurt the man I love and lost him for a fucking month. I could have lost him for much longer then that."
"Bam.. no one is perfect. I know that you were doing the best you could at the moment. Just like now. What matters is that your happier and in a better place." Phil replied, pausing for a moment. "Are... you two back together?"
Bam shrugged, "I think we are. I mean... he is living here with me. He sleeps in my bed. We both agreed that we love each other and can't live without each other. But... its not completely the same as before. Its just... its just..." Bam struggled for a moment, unsure of how to explain what was different.
April noticed the blush that was slowly forming on her sons cheeks and she smiled. "You're not having sex?"
Bam's eyes went wide when he heard his mother say that, Phil couldn't help but laugh. "Intimate!" Bam gasped out, his cheeks gaining another shade of red. "Were not as intimate as we use to be."
April joined Phil in his laughter. "But thats the problem isn't it? You're not having sex?" April asked, reveling in the chance to make her son squirm.
"Ape!" Bam croaked, covering his head with his arms as he lowered it to the table. "I can't believe you're talking to me like this."
April and Phil laughed. "So farting on people and dildo jokes are appropriate conversations to have with us. Just not sex?" Phil asked.
"Phil not you too!" Bam said, looking to his father and then to his mother. "Besides that is so different and you know it."
"How is it different?" April asked and for a moment Bam couldn't answer her.
"Because... it's... it wasn't... it's not Ville alright." Bam tried to explain.
It only made his parents go, "Awwww! That's so cute Bam!" Bam's whole face was red now and he was sure he would die of embarrassment at any second.
"I'm going to die now... thank you very much." Bam mumbled, trying to act as disgruntled as he felt.
"Now you understand why we didn't want you to joke about things that were precious to us." Phil replied softly, patting Bam on the back. "Some things are to special to be taken lightly."
Bam drew in a breath sitting up some. "Its just... we had that horrible fight. Then the month of silence. Then the last week of Ville dealing with his withdrawal... and well me dealing with my own personal demons. It.... just doesn't feel right to ask anything more of him."
"Of each other?" Phil asked and Bam nodded in agreement.
"I spent so much time running away from these feelings. And now that I have excepted them... I just want everything I can get. I just want to have Ville the way I use too. I miss him so much.... physically as well as emotionally." Bam mumbled the ending, feeling his cheeks warm up again. He was picking at his muffin again, but his mother didn't scold him this time. She was more shocked by his honesty.
"Have you expressed this to him?" April asked softly.
"Express what?" They all turned to the doorway in the kitchen and spotted Ville standing there. He looked between them, feeling like he was missing out on something really important. "Is everything alright?" He asked, fidgeting in his spot since they were blantly staring at him, but wouldn't say anything.
"Nothing..." Bam spat out, quickly getting up. He exchanged a look with his parents who were silently scolding him. "I mean... its something. But.. not that big..." He replied, knowing he sounded like an idiot. He walked over to Ville, placing his hands on Ville's sides, standing up on his tip toes to kiss Ville on the lips.
Ville was so surprised by what Bam did, that he barely had time to return the gentle kiss. "Bam?" He whispered softly, searching Bam's eyes for an answer.
"Its alright, I told them about us." Bam replied softly, grinning happily.
Ville smiled happily, "You did? I mean you officially told them. Not just hinted around about it, or left it up to their imaginations?" He asked, running his hand along the side of Bam's face. Bam nodded and Ville's smile grew, "Thats wonderful love."
"Thats not all he told us." April replied, grinning at Bam's dumbfounded expression, as she went to get Ville some coffee and a muffin. Bam's eyes went wide and he signaled for her to stop.
Ville perked one eyebrow, "Bam whats..." He didn't get to finish since Bam kissed him again quickly.
"Nothing!" Bam grinned and pushed Ville over to the table so he could sit down and eat.
****************
I'll be gone for the weekend my loves. I'm off to NYC to see our lovely H.I.M in concert. Enjoy the update and leave me lots of yummy comments. Its unbeta'd so as always, I did my best to make it coherent. The hot, friends locked, chapter that I will post on Monday; will make the wait worth it. ♥ ♥ ♥
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http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3154574.html#cutid1
http://myforgottenpain.livejournal.com/18301.html#cutid1
http://myforgottenpain.livejournal.com/14222.html
Author: myforgottenpain
Pairing: Vam
Rating: PG-13 Foul Language, Alcohol References, and adult situation.
Summary: Bam's new found friendship with Ville had made him question parts of his life he has long since repressed. Through an unexpected visit from the Finnish rock star, many bottles of beer, and a special tattoo; Bam must decide if he wants to embrace a side of himself that he has always longed to explore.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends.
Authors Notes: Dedicated to the lovely and wonderful nailsnoir777.
A gentle knock on the door, drew Missy's attention to it. She stood in silence, unsure of why she was so nervous. Maybe it was because there had never been a reason for anyone to knock on her door before. Ville, as good of friends as they were, had never really come down to her room before. And Bam had a tendency to just walk into rooms without knocking, no matter who it belonged too.
The knock came again and it made Missy jump. She rung her hands and managed to squeak out, "Yes?" The door cracked open and Jonna stuck her head in.
"Missy?" Came Jonna's sweet, accent ladened, voice. It made Missy's heart beat faster.
"Jonna." Missy breathed, wondering suddenly if she looked and smelled alright. Jonna seemed to catch this moment of insecurity and moved fully into the room. She leaned her back against the door to shut it and lingered by it a second. Slowly she moved closer to Missy.
"Missy?" She started, finding the words hard to say.
"Jonna." Missy replied, which made them both giggle. It helped to ease the tension between them.
"We're not getting any where love." Jonna replied softly, reaching out to run her hand along Missy's cheek. The gentle touch drew a shaky breath from Missy, who felt her cheeks get warmer.
"I know." Missy whispered softly, looking down as she gently placed her hand on Jonna's hips. She inched Jonna closer to her, chewing on her bottom lip, looking to Jonna through the tops of her eyes.
"What do you want to do about that?" Jonna whispered, one of her hands cupping Missy's cheek, her other hand resting on her hip. Her fingers slipped under her shirt a little, caressing Missy's smooth tan skin. She brushed her lips against Missy's encouraging her to release her bottom lip. As soon as she did Jonna kissed it, sucking on it gently.
With an air of confidence, Jonna slipped her arm fully around Missy, pulling her close. Missy in turn, wrapped her arms around Jonna, gripping onto the back of her shirt. Their kiss slowly deepened, just enjoying the closeness that they had so longed for. That was until...
The door burst open and Bam cam striding into the room. Missy openly glared at Bam, like she wanted to unleash the very hounds of Hell itself on her husband. Jonna tried not to smile at the face Missy was making. She lingered in Missy's embrace, both of her arms around Missy now, as she leaned her head against Missy's shoulder. "Hi Bam." Jonna replied.
"Hi Jonna." Bam replied causally, stopping at Missy's side. He had a large bowl of popcorn propped on his hip and was already munching on some of the salty, buttery, snack. "We're going to start the movie..." He paused, looking to Missy who was still glaring at him. "What?"
Missy's eyes got a little wider as she indicated with her head to Jonna. Bam looked to Jonna, who waved. "Bam!" Missy asked, trying to some how make Bam understand that he had walked in on a very sweet moment.
Bam's eyes went wide. "Were you guys getting it on in here?" He asked, indicating to them.
Jonna laughed as Missy sighed and leaned her head against Jonna's shoulder. "You have such a way with words Bam. Its astonishing."
Bam smiled a little, "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to interrupt. I thought you wanted to watch the movie with us."
Missy smiled at Bam, "I'm surprised that you wouldn't jump at the chance to have Ville all alone."
Bam fidgeted in his spot, looking down for a moment. He had initially wanted it to be just him and Ville, especially since it had taken a million years to get Ape to leave them alone. "I didn't want to exclude you."
Missy's smile broadened, "Feel free to exclude me." She kissed Bam on the cheek quickly, "Thank you and everything. But really... I think you should go watch the movie... with Ville... and without me."
"And without me." Jonna adding, smiling as she leaned in to kiss Missy on the neck.
Bam chuckled and headed for the door. "Alright, have fun. Next time you should lock the door." He suggested as he walked through the doorway.
"Like locks have ever stopped you before." Missy commented good naturally.
Bam stopped and thought about that, "Good point. Alright... see you later." He went back to munching on his popcorn, pausing when he heard Missy shriek loudly with happiness. Chuckling a little to himself, he went back down to the living room. Ville was curled up on the couch, nursing a cup of hot tea. He smiled when Bam came back, but then was confused.
"No Missy and Jonna?" Ville asked, watching as Bam took the other corner of the couch. He kicked his slippers off and pulled his feet onto the couch, they were right next to Ville's.
"I thought we could watch the movie alone. Spend some time together." Bam offered with a smile.
The corner of Ville's mouth turned up in a half grin. "You walked in on Missy and Jonna getting cozy didn't you?"
Bam chuckled, "Oh yah."
Ville was silent for a moment, simultaneously happy for and jealous of the women upstairs. His eyes moved from Bam to the tea and he frowned a little. Bam noticed the change and cast down his eyes too. Ville hated how sick he was still, how slowly his body seemed to be healing. He understood why, over a decade of abusing it had come and gone, but that didn't stop it from hurting.
He was back with Bam once more, which made him eternally happy. But there was that final barrier between them. It had only been a short time since he had come back to Castle Bam. While the extreme side of his withdrawal was starting to pass, he could finally eat more then a few bites of food at any time, he was still easily tired and quick to feel nauseated.
This left Bam afraid to do anything with him, treating Ville like a delicate piece of china. He was still slightly worried that some how he would mess up again and Ville would leave him. He didn't want to push things, which just made things worse. While Ville wasn't always thinking of things as sexually as Bam was, he longed to have Bam close, to feel his body against his own and to smell his skin and hair. "You know, you don't have to sit on the other side of the room from me." Ville commented softly.
Bam tossed some popcorn into his mouth. He regarded Ville for a moment as he chewed thoughtfully. "I'm not. I'm sitting on the couch with you right now."
Ville sighed and put his tea down. "You don't have to sit on the other side of the couch then Bam." Bam finished chewing the popcorn in his mouth slowly, suddenly intently interested in his popcorn bowl. The movie was all but forgotten for the moment. "Bam..." Ville replied softly, brushing his toes against Bam's since they were the closest part of the skater to him. He started to add something when he noticed the playful spark in Bam's eyes suddenly appear.
"Ewww... you're touching my feet with yours. How gross." Bam replied playfully, hoping to lighten the sudden change in mood, (as well as distract Ville from where he might have been going with his next comment) curling up more with his popcorn. He noticed the stunned yet amused look in Ville's eyes and tossed some popcorn at him. "You're gross and icky and probably have cooties." Bam added, trying to sound as childish as this was meant to seem.
Ville grinned and kicked Bam's foot. "I'll give you cooties."
Bam gasped and kicked Ville back. "Don't touch me with your dirty feet. All sweaty and dirty and... feet like!"
Before they knew what was happening they were both on their backs, kicking each others feet, laughing and tossing playful insults back and forth. Popcorn was flying everywhere, mostly because Bam was still clutching the bowl, and his movements were shaking it. But it was also because of him throwing it at Ville. Ville switched between tossing it at Bam and opening his mouth to try and catch it. Between fits of laughter, Bam tried to catch it when Ville threw it at him.
Ryan walked into the living room, paused for maybe a second, then turned right around and left. "I don't even want to know." He mumbled to himself after walking in on Bam and Ville slapping the bottoms of their feet together, red in the face from laughing so hard.
"Alright... alright..." Bam mumbled, moving so he could sit up. "Are we going to watch the movie?" Bam asked, getting up so he could get the remote. Ville was silently glad that the play fight was over. As much as he had enjoyed it, the burst of excitement had tired him out pretty quickly. He gulped down some of his tea in the hopes that it would wake him up more.
When Bam moved, Ville quickly stretched his body out on the couch, tucking one arm behind his head. He meet Bam's amused grin with one of his own. He felt like he could easily fall asleep, but he didn't want to end the playful banter yet. Bam slowly walked over to the couch. "What do you think you're doing?"
Ville tried to look innocent, but his eyes were dancing with mischief. "I'm going to watch a movie with you of course."
Bam chuckled, "Where am I suppose to sit?"
Ville grinned, "I already said you could lay with me." He replied, dragging his fingers up the inner side of Bam's leg until he reached his knee. He then wrapped his hand around it, pulling it closer, trying to encourage Bam to join him.
Bam's breath was hitched in his throat, when he felt shivers race through his body, from how Ville touched him. He quickly suppressed the urge to pounce the other man and ravish him, instead he nodded and carefully laid on the couch with Ville. Ville pressed his body against Bam's back, resting his head against Bam's neck as he wrapped his arm around the smaller man.
Bam wrapped his arm around Ville's kissing the other man's hand. He clicked the DVD player on and tossed the remote to the floor. Tucking his arm under his head, he closed his eyes and enjoyed he feeling of Ville's breath on his neck. He knew before the movie has half over, Ville would be sound asleep. Then again, by the time the credits were rolling, Bam would be snoring softly too.
********************
The dew on the lawn splashed onto his shoes as he walked through his yard. The day was just beginning and held so much promise. Bam had come out to do this task several times in the last month, secretly looking for the ring that Ville had tossed out. But now with Ville in his home once more, he felt a renewed sense of purpose in this task.
The sun was just starting to warm the earth below. Bam drew in a breath, running his hands through his hair. It had been just about two weeks since Ville had come home to him. He was taking time from work under the guise of being in rehab. Technically he was, just not in a clinic. Bam had spent many nights fantasizing about what he would do to have Ville living under his roof, not to mention what they would do to each other. Helping him through detox wasn't exactly what he had always hoped for. But he couldn't think of anything else he would rather do.
They were helping each other find a better way of living and he was just happy to have Ville back. He paused and looked to his bedroom window, imaging how Ville was laying right now in his bed, resting. His health was finally taking a significant turn for the better. Bam smiled happily for a moment before turning his attention back to the lawn.
So far, no attempts at finding the ring had worked. Just about everyone they knew had come, at some point to look for it, but it seemed to have vanished from the face of the earth. Bam could easily just buy another ring, but there seemed to be something symbolic about finding the ring himself.
****
April had insisted on going over to visit Ville and Bam. She had always adored Ville and treated him, like the rest of their children's friends, as part of an extended family. Seeing Ville in such a state the last week, only made her want to mother him more. That and she felt a little bad for telling the story about how she figured out that they were together. It had earned the pair constant jabs from their friends.
They pulled into the driveway and Phil tapped her on the shoulder. "Whats Bam doing?" Once the car was parked, they walked over to the side yard where Bam was kneeling and crawling across the lawn. "Bam?" Phil asked.
Bam looked up at his parents. "Hi... just... umm... looking for something." He replied with a nod, going back to looking through the grass.
Phil and April exchanged knowing smiles. "We've all looked for it... and no one can find it Bam." Phil replied.
Bam drew in a breath and nodded, "I know... but... it cant hurt to look one more time?"
April smiled at Bam, "no.. I don't suppose it would hurt to look one more time. We'll just be inside. I'm going to start working on some breakfast for you two. I'm so proud of you both. You're both doing a wonderful job..."
"Ape?" Bam asked, kneeling in the grass as he looked to his mother again.
She drew in a breath, "Yes Bam?"
Bam looked away for a moment, picking at some grass. "Can I talk to you two before breakfast? Well... at least before Ville wakes up?"
Phil and April nodded and reassured him that they would talk to him whenever he wanted. They would always be here for him. They went into the house and Bam was soon in the kitchen with them. April had coffee, juice and muffins waiting for him.
"Did you find it?" April asked, with a slight tone of hopefulness.
Bam shook his head and April quickly turned the conversation to the light breakfast she had whipped up for them.
"So... what did you want to tell us about?" Phil asked as they sat down together.
Bam drew in a breath, picking at his muffin, pulling the nuts out of it. April frowned and smacked Bam's hand lightly. "Must you pick your food apart?" She asked in a motherly tone. Bam smiled softly, taking a bit of the muffin.
"Better?" Bam asked, showing his mom the chewed up, soggy, muffin in his mouth.
Phil chuckled while April pushed Bam away. "Thats disgusting Bam!" She scolded, shaking her head. God she adored her children.
"Bam?" Phil replied, looking to Bam in that way that said, 'alright, enough with the distractions... whats going on?'
Bam drew in a breath, "I know you already know what I am going to say. Everyone already knows. But... I think its important that you actually hear it from my mouth." He looked to his parents who had visibly taken on a tone of seriousness, they nodded for him to continue. "I'm gay..... and... I'm in love with Ville. And... Ville is in love with me. The day that we broke up was our fifth anniversary."
April and Phil smiled happily. April reached out and took Bam's hands in her own, while Phil wrapped his arm around Bam. "Thank you for telling us." Phil replied softly.
Bam nodded, thanking them for their patiences and understanding. He pulled off his ring and showed it to them. "It says, 'My home is in your arms'." He explained, going on to tell them about what he had engraved on Ville's ring and the significance of Ville's choice.
"I always knew you would be a good boyfriend some day." April replied.
Bam chuckled a little, looking at his mothers hand on his own. "Such a good boyfriend I hid the best thing that ever happened to me for five years. Such a wonderful boyfriend that I hurt the man I love and lost him for a fucking month. I could have lost him for much longer then that."
"Bam.. no one is perfect. I know that you were doing the best you could at the moment. Just like now. What matters is that your happier and in a better place." Phil replied, pausing for a moment. "Are... you two back together?"
Bam shrugged, "I think we are. I mean... he is living here with me. He sleeps in my bed. We both agreed that we love each other and can't live without each other. But... its not completely the same as before. Its just... its just..." Bam struggled for a moment, unsure of how to explain what was different.
April noticed the blush that was slowly forming on her sons cheeks and she smiled. "You're not having sex?"
Bam's eyes went wide when he heard his mother say that, Phil couldn't help but laugh. "Intimate!" Bam gasped out, his cheeks gaining another shade of red. "Were not as intimate as we use to be."
April joined Phil in his laughter. "But thats the problem isn't it? You're not having sex?" April asked, reveling in the chance to make her son squirm.
"Ape!" Bam croaked, covering his head with his arms as he lowered it to the table. "I can't believe you're talking to me like this."
April and Phil laughed. "So farting on people and dildo jokes are appropriate conversations to have with us. Just not sex?" Phil asked.
"Phil not you too!" Bam said, looking to his father and then to his mother. "Besides that is so different and you know it."
"How is it different?" April asked and for a moment Bam couldn't answer her.
"Because... it's... it wasn't... it's not Ville alright." Bam tried to explain.
It only made his parents go, "Awwww! That's so cute Bam!" Bam's whole face was red now and he was sure he would die of embarrassment at any second.
"I'm going to die now... thank you very much." Bam mumbled, trying to act as disgruntled as he felt.
"Now you understand why we didn't want you to joke about things that were precious to us." Phil replied softly, patting Bam on the back. "Some things are to special to be taken lightly."
Bam drew in a breath sitting up some. "Its just... we had that horrible fight. Then the month of silence. Then the last week of Ville dealing with his withdrawal... and well me dealing with my own personal demons. It.... just doesn't feel right to ask anything more of him."
"Of each other?" Phil asked and Bam nodded in agreement.
"I spent so much time running away from these feelings. And now that I have excepted them... I just want everything I can get. I just want to have Ville the way I use too. I miss him so much.... physically as well as emotionally." Bam mumbled the ending, feeling his cheeks warm up again. He was picking at his muffin again, but his mother didn't scold him this time. She was more shocked by his honesty.
"Have you expressed this to him?" April asked softly.
"Express what?" They all turned to the doorway in the kitchen and spotted Ville standing there. He looked between them, feeling like he was missing out on something really important. "Is everything alright?" He asked, fidgeting in his spot since they were blantly staring at him, but wouldn't say anything.
"Nothing..." Bam spat out, quickly getting up. He exchanged a look with his parents who were silently scolding him. "I mean... its something. But.. not that big..." He replied, knowing he sounded like an idiot. He walked over to Ville, placing his hands on Ville's sides, standing up on his tip toes to kiss Ville on the lips.
Ville was so surprised by what Bam did, that he barely had time to return the gentle kiss. "Bam?" He whispered softly, searching Bam's eyes for an answer.
"Its alright, I told them about us." Bam replied softly, grinning happily.
Ville smiled happily, "You did? I mean you officially told them. Not just hinted around about it, or left it up to their imaginations?" He asked, running his hand along the side of Bam's face. Bam nodded and Ville's smile grew, "Thats wonderful love."
"Thats not all he told us." April replied, grinning at Bam's dumbfounded expression, as she went to get Ville some coffee and a muffin. Bam's eyes went wide and he signaled for her to stop.
Ville perked one eyebrow, "Bam whats..." He didn't get to finish since Bam kissed him again quickly.
"Nothing!" Bam grinned and pushed Ville over to the table so he could sit down and eat.
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I'll be gone for the weekend my loves. I'm off to NYC to see our lovely H.I.M in concert. Enjoy the update and leave me lots of yummy comments. Its unbeta'd so as always, I did my best to make it coherent. The hot, friends locked, chapter that I will post on Monday; will make the wait worth it. ♥ ♥ ♥
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