+The Nine Series...Part 8+
Title: Grey Room (8/9)
Author: AshesInTwilight
Rating: R
Pairing: Vam
Summary: Ville’s in mourning and self loathing for letting himself be forgotten once more, but when a dream ends up real he discovers how close love is.
Disclaimer: I own no one. The words are mine but the people are their own. The amazing lyrics and song are by Damien Rice.
Author Notes: This one’s might be a bit longer than the others have been so far. Hope no one minds. One more to go! I feel a sense of accomplishment J
+Ville’s POV+
~~~
…well i've been here before
sat on the floor in a grey grey room
where i stay in all day
i don't eat, but i play with this grey grey food
desole, if someone is prayin' then i might break out,
desole, even if i scream i can't scream that loud
i'm all alone again
crawling back home again
stuck by the phone again…
~~~
All alone with no sounds but my own thoughts rattling through my head. Everything is grey-- the smoke swirling around my head filling the room, the ash littering the floor and smearing my fingers, my skin…my heart. Even my beloved Helsinki appears grey from my second story window. The charcoal lines of the buildings look harsh against the overcast backdrop, streets black, old winter dingy and half turned to sludge. I wish it would snow. I need a fresh, pure white blanket to cover the grime, give me a clean canvas to start from. Then maybe I could think clearly. It’s been a week since I talked to Bam and yet again, I’m beginning to believe he’ll never come, never keep his promises. So foolish of me to allow the desperation in his voice to renew my hope. When he said he’d need me, I believed him letting my heart soar. This was it, he’d finally be free and I could have him fully. Apparently, it was a fleeting idea and I’m crashing right back down to the grey earth where I belong. My insides twist, muscles clenching as the sickness tearing through me confirms I’ve again been denied, abused…left behind. It seemed destined.
I can pretend I deserved it as payment for past digressions but it wasn’t true and yet, if I could go back, I’d probably do it again. Because when I love, I love and for as long as I can recall I loved Bam. Someday, he’ll realize how much my soul has bled for him, how much I’ve sacrificed trying to make him happy. If his life was even the tiniest shard brighter because of what I’d given, then I’d accomplished something great, something I could be proud of one day. But that solace does nothing to comfort me now. I would never be able to be his friend again. I’d have to cut him out to save my own heart and sanity. I don’t know how I’ll do it but seeing him happy with another would rip me apart.
Mige has been coming by to check on me--and I’ve managed to sucker him into bringing me my poisons each time. We’ll call it payment for the smugness he tries so hard to block away. He doesn’t have to say I told you so; it’s written in the pity-laced eyes every time he stares at my weakening form. He’s asked if I want to see the others or leave the tower at all but I decline each time and he knows that will continue. I’d rather wallow and honestly, I didn’t have the energy to face them all. I hadn’t slept a full night since being in New York. Other than what Mige managed to force feed me, I hate little sustaining myself on booze and cigarettes, keeping myself in a dazed state constantly. It makes it harder to think. My chest is heavy, breathing painful from smoking too much and I know my asthma will catch up with me eventually. If I’m not careful, I’ll end up in the hospital again breathing into a machine. Mige would freak if he came in tomorrow to find me chest in spasms, lips tainted slightly blue. The thought alone is enough for me to put out the cigarette at my fingertips, shoving away the half empty pack at my side. I need to take better care of myself, I think as I fall back to the floor laying myself out on some imaginary crucifix. I tried a couple days ago to make use of the misery and write new lyrics but I can’t move past the concrete block. All my thoughts are on Bam and what he’s doing to me.
~~~
…well i've been here before
sat on a floor in a grey grey mood
where i stay up all night
and all that i write is a grey grey tune
so pray for me child, just for a while
that i might break out yeah
pray for me child
even a smile would do for now
'cause i'm all alone again
crawling back home again
stuck by the phone again…
~~~
Half asleep, half passed out from the lingering liquor in my veins, I feel warm hands against my icy skin as they propped me up. Had I left the window open? I can’t remember though it would explain the frigid air whipping around me. It had to be Mige again; he’s the only one in Finland with spare keys. I should take them away, damn it, because this morning I told him I didn’t want him coming back, to spend some time with his family and leave me be awhile. He never did listen very well. As I’m sat up, I slouch into his solid chest but it’s not more tobacco or that spicy cologne of my friend I smell. It’s something uniquely…Bam, that no one could duplicate. I must be dreaming, so I don’t fight the grogginess. I want to stay here. Carefully, I’m lifted into arms, my own tangling around a neck, legs twining around his athletic hips and I nuzzle into his neck. “Mmm, Bammie.”
“Yeah Baby, it’s me.” The husky voice fell at my ear and I can almost swear it’s real. “I need to warm you up, ok?”
Whatever he wants so long as I didn’t slip into consciousness and ruin the dream. I vaguely notice us moving through my home, me being sat down and stripped of clothes. Distantly, I hear the sound of water like a shower but nothing matters beyond staying burrowed as close to Bam as possible. I want to see him but I’m afraid to open my eyes and find Mige instead or worse yet find myself alone on the cold floor.
“Baby, you almost froze yourself. Your lips are turning blue.” A thumb whisks over my tingling mouth…only left over thoughts from before I fell to sleep…
Hot steam melts the frost covering my skin, thawing me and makes me shiver. I feel a chest pressed lightly to my back, soapy hands sliding over skin, through tangled curls. I lean my head back , hand holding the side of his neck and bowing my body into the burning spray. I know I won’t sleep much longer; want to soak up as much contact as possible.
“I’ve missed seeing you like this,” he whispers.
“I just miss you.”
I am dried like a puppy and I can feel my bare backside against the counter of the bathroom, Bam standing snug between my thighs. There’s so much tenderness in the way he cares for me, like he knows how truly fragile I am at the moment, clinging to some ghost of a dream. Its only my sleeping mind showing me what I need, but so close to reality, I could almost convince myself he was here with me. Almost. Again, I’m carried then it’s the bed I’m placed upon, tucked securely into the heated covers. The touch, his scent, disappears momentarily and I find myself in a panic. Fear washes over me and I hear myself choke back a sob.
“Hey, shh, what’s the matter?”
There’s weight next to me sliding in close as a hand trails over my damp cheeks, down my neck. “I thought it was over.”
“Ville, open your eyes.” I shake my head no. “Ville, I promise, I’m right here next to you.” Reluctantly, I allow my eyes to open. At first, my vision is too blurred, but a couple blinks and I see those haunting blue eyes, that familiar face hovering over me. I suck in a sharp breath. “See? Not a dream.”
“W-what are y-you doing here?
“I finally did it. I’m here for you.” A kiss fell against my lips but I’m too shocked to respond. I’m desperate for this to be true…but I just can’t believe…finally…”Baby, you’re so tired. We can talk about everything tomorrow. I want you to sleep.” Nodding, I tip onto my side letting Bam spoon against my back. His hand cradles my hip, fingers brushing down to my thigh lazily as he crept closer to sleep as well. That is until he feels scabbed lines running along my skin. “Ville--”
“It was an accident.”
“You accidentally cut yourself in four matching lines? You haven’t done that shit in years, like barely in your twenties. Why would you--” Things had been rough here and once, once I felt as though I would burst under the pressure. I needed to release it to survive. I didn’t’ want to tell him that though, not now when I could feel every inch of him holding me. I wanted to enjoy this for it may not be a dream but it certainly wouldn’t last. He’d come to his senses soon and once again I’d be left clinging to air with nothing to catch me as I fall.
“Don’t question, Bam. It doesn’t matter anyway, you’ll be gone by morning.”
I barely hear him whisper I love you before I succumb to dreams.
~~~
…have i still got you to be my open door?
have i still got you to be my sandy shore?
have i still got you to cross my bridge in this storm?
have i still got you to keep me warm?
if i squeeze my grape, then i drink my wine…
~~~
Hot rays of sun streaking across my face draw me from a peaceful slumber. The weight in my limbs, blurriness of my vision signals just how heavy I’ve slept. I haven’t rested so solid in weeks and I wonder what’s made the difference. Then, I recall dreaming Bam was here and for the smallest of moments actually believing he was here for me, to rescue me. It was almost as if my mind enjoyed torturing itself with such fancy. I start to move from the bed, but something constricts around my waist to keep me locked in place before moist lips graze my neck. Body stiffening, I dare a glance down to see an inked arm tight around my stomach, a familiar set of fingers interlocked with mine, calluses scratching along my skin in all the right places. I nearly jump from the bed in a panic. My heartbeat skyrockets thudding against my chest like it’s trying to break free. If any doubt remained, it all dwindles to nothing at the sound of his groggy voice on my skin. “Go back to sleep, it’s still early.”
“L-let me turn over.” There is a slight pause as if it takes time for the command to register to his sleeping brain. Then my hand is released, his arm slacking. I twist carefully until I’m on my opposite side, practically nose-to-nose with my greatest love and my biggest downfall. He looks thinner, more tired. Slow as if afraid he’d turn to vapor, I raise a hand to trace the lines of his features with a feather’s touch.
“Willa, jet lag,” he draws out the words in a while, typical Bam style; snuggling closer to me in a silent demand we sleep more. But how could I sleep with him right there withholding all his secrets. It would be stupid to even try. I want answers.
“Bam, what happened?”
Sighing, he gives in without protest as if he already expected this. As he leans back, I’m greeted by electric blues, brightened not dulled by his sleepiness. I don’t remember the last time I’d seen his eyes shimmer so vibrant-- before we got together perhaps when he was careless, carefree Bam. “Can I at least kiss you first?” Biting my lip, I give a small nod. He grins in a boy-ish fashion gradually closing the distance between us. Its slow sensual. There’s nothing rushed as if he has all the time in the world. His lips on mine feel so fucking good, I can’t help but moan a little as the tingle travels through my body. The small contact was practically orgasmic after being denied his mere company so long. He pulls away, three small pecks to smooth the transition, as his hand comes up to play in my tussled hair. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I whisper. Without prompting further, Bam leans up on an elbow fingers tracing over my bare stomach and tells me the story starting with Missy thinking they would still get married and how ‘right’ I’d been about that. Then, how he’d sat both parents down just after kicking her out and explained the situation--what he is, how long he’d been in the relationship and how in love and happy he was with a man. He’d said he was sorry if they couldn’t accept it but he was tired of hiding himself away and worse yet hiding his boyfriend who ‘loved him enough to stick by him through anything including the breaking of his own heart’ as Bam tried to fit into their mold.
“And?”
“They were quiet for a few minutes and I almost bolted straight here without giving them a chance to say their peace.. I guess they were letting it all sink in. They asked a lot of how-when-why type questions but they said they wanted me happy no matter what that meant. Ape said she kind of knew, that ‘mother’s know these things.’ I think she just knew I wasn’t happy.”
“And Jess?”
His face tightens slightly. “He was a bit more difficult, way less understanding. I- I think it had less to do with me sleeping with a man and more to do with his ego. He always thought he knew me better than anyone only to find I had this huge secret and there was someone who knew me better.”
“I’m proud of you kulta, really and not just because of us. You’ll be so much happier now.” I cup his cheek.
Bam gives a smile, pressing a kiss to the inside of my wrist and I almost turn to jello right there. “Happier because I can tell the world you’re mine.”
“Hmm, I don’t know about the world,” I snuggle closer laying my head back down as he does the same. “But we can at least not worry every time we want to kiss or touch one another.” But even with his resolved, a large knot remains settled into my stomach. I speak again much more shaky. “I-I didn’t think you’d come. I thought we were done f-for good this time. You hurt me, a lot Bammie. I’m not sure I can heal all the way, that I can be like I used to.”
“Shh, I know baby, but I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” Forever sounds so good, so sweet to my ears. “I’ll crawl through fire if I have to.”
“I would never ask you to do that.”
Tilting my head up, Bam kisses me breathless. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t. It’s been all about me for too long. Now, it’s all about what you want.”
“All I want is you.”
He chuckles arms looping around me to keep me to his chest; as if I’d go anywhere. “Well that’s easy enough. I’m already here and I’m not going anywhere this time, I swear.” A dozen kisses and a few lulling strokes of his hand down my back later, he moves on. “Um, everyone wants to meet you.”
I’m confused. “They all already know me.”
“Well you’ve been introduced as a friend and idol, not the love of my life.“ This time when he laughs its more nervous than anything. “I uh I didn’t exactly tell them who the boyfriend was. I wanted it to be a surprise.”
I push myself up enough to see his face. “Bam!“ My disapproval is met with a mischievous smirk.
“Our flight leaves tonight.”
So why am I now so suddenly nervous to meet the people I value as my second family?
Damn him and his surprises…but I can’t complain. I do just about anything at this point. After all, he’s finally here, finally showing me how much I mean to him and what he’s willing to give for me. I feel the happiness crash over me like an ocean wave.
~~~
…‘cause if i squeeze my grape, then i drink my wine
nothing is lost, it's just frozen in frost,
and it's opening time, there's no-one in line
but i've still got me to be your open door,
i've still got me to be your sandy shore
i've still got me to cross your bridge in this storm
and i've still got me to keep you warm
warmer than warm…
~~~
Author: AshesInTwilight
Rating: R
Pairing: Vam
Summary: Ville’s in mourning and self loathing for letting himself be forgotten once more, but when a dream ends up real he discovers how close love is.
Disclaimer: I own no one. The words are mine but the people are their own. The amazing lyrics and song are by Damien Rice.
Author Notes: This one’s might be a bit longer than the others have been so far. Hope no one minds. One more to go! I feel a sense of accomplishment J
+Ville’s POV+
~~~
…well i've been here before
sat on the floor in a grey grey room
where i stay in all day
i don't eat, but i play with this grey grey food
desole, if someone is prayin' then i might break out,
desole, even if i scream i can't scream that loud
i'm all alone again
crawling back home again
stuck by the phone again…
~~~
All alone with no sounds but my own thoughts rattling through my head. Everything is grey-- the smoke swirling around my head filling the room, the ash littering the floor and smearing my fingers, my skin…my heart. Even my beloved Helsinki appears grey from my second story window. The charcoal lines of the buildings look harsh against the overcast backdrop, streets black, old winter dingy and half turned to sludge. I wish it would snow. I need a fresh, pure white blanket to cover the grime, give me a clean canvas to start from. Then maybe I could think clearly. It’s been a week since I talked to Bam and yet again, I’m beginning to believe he’ll never come, never keep his promises. So foolish of me to allow the desperation in his voice to renew my hope. When he said he’d need me, I believed him letting my heart soar. This was it, he’d finally be free and I could have him fully. Apparently, it was a fleeting idea and I’m crashing right back down to the grey earth where I belong. My insides twist, muscles clenching as the sickness tearing through me confirms I’ve again been denied, abused…left behind. It seemed destined.
I can pretend I deserved it as payment for past digressions but it wasn’t true and yet, if I could go back, I’d probably do it again. Because when I love, I love and for as long as I can recall I loved Bam. Someday, he’ll realize how much my soul has bled for him, how much I’ve sacrificed trying to make him happy. If his life was even the tiniest shard brighter because of what I’d given, then I’d accomplished something great, something I could be proud of one day. But that solace does nothing to comfort me now. I would never be able to be his friend again. I’d have to cut him out to save my own heart and sanity. I don’t know how I’ll do it but seeing him happy with another would rip me apart.
Mige has been coming by to check on me--and I’ve managed to sucker him into bringing me my poisons each time. We’ll call it payment for the smugness he tries so hard to block away. He doesn’t have to say I told you so; it’s written in the pity-laced eyes every time he stares at my weakening form. He’s asked if I want to see the others or leave the tower at all but I decline each time and he knows that will continue. I’d rather wallow and honestly, I didn’t have the energy to face them all. I hadn’t slept a full night since being in New York. Other than what Mige managed to force feed me, I hate little sustaining myself on booze and cigarettes, keeping myself in a dazed state constantly. It makes it harder to think. My chest is heavy, breathing painful from smoking too much and I know my asthma will catch up with me eventually. If I’m not careful, I’ll end up in the hospital again breathing into a machine. Mige would freak if he came in tomorrow to find me chest in spasms, lips tainted slightly blue. The thought alone is enough for me to put out the cigarette at my fingertips, shoving away the half empty pack at my side. I need to take better care of myself, I think as I fall back to the floor laying myself out on some imaginary crucifix. I tried a couple days ago to make use of the misery and write new lyrics but I can’t move past the concrete block. All my thoughts are on Bam and what he’s doing to me.
~~~
…well i've been here before
sat on a floor in a grey grey mood
where i stay up all night
and all that i write is a grey grey tune
so pray for me child, just for a while
that i might break out yeah
pray for me child
even a smile would do for now
'cause i'm all alone again
crawling back home again
stuck by the phone again…
~~~
Half asleep, half passed out from the lingering liquor in my veins, I feel warm hands against my icy skin as they propped me up. Had I left the window open? I can’t remember though it would explain the frigid air whipping around me. It had to be Mige again; he’s the only one in Finland with spare keys. I should take them away, damn it, because this morning I told him I didn’t want him coming back, to spend some time with his family and leave me be awhile. He never did listen very well. As I’m sat up, I slouch into his solid chest but it’s not more tobacco or that spicy cologne of my friend I smell. It’s something uniquely…Bam, that no one could duplicate. I must be dreaming, so I don’t fight the grogginess. I want to stay here. Carefully, I’m lifted into arms, my own tangling around a neck, legs twining around his athletic hips and I nuzzle into his neck. “Mmm, Bammie.”
“Yeah Baby, it’s me.” The husky voice fell at my ear and I can almost swear it’s real. “I need to warm you up, ok?”
Whatever he wants so long as I didn’t slip into consciousness and ruin the dream. I vaguely notice us moving through my home, me being sat down and stripped of clothes. Distantly, I hear the sound of water like a shower but nothing matters beyond staying burrowed as close to Bam as possible. I want to see him but I’m afraid to open my eyes and find Mige instead or worse yet find myself alone on the cold floor.
“Baby, you almost froze yourself. Your lips are turning blue.” A thumb whisks over my tingling mouth…only left over thoughts from before I fell to sleep…
Hot steam melts the frost covering my skin, thawing me and makes me shiver. I feel a chest pressed lightly to my back, soapy hands sliding over skin, through tangled curls. I lean my head back , hand holding the side of his neck and bowing my body into the burning spray. I know I won’t sleep much longer; want to soak up as much contact as possible.
“I’ve missed seeing you like this,” he whispers.
“I just miss you.”
I am dried like a puppy and I can feel my bare backside against the counter of the bathroom, Bam standing snug between my thighs. There’s so much tenderness in the way he cares for me, like he knows how truly fragile I am at the moment, clinging to some ghost of a dream. Its only my sleeping mind showing me what I need, but so close to reality, I could almost convince myself he was here with me. Almost. Again, I’m carried then it’s the bed I’m placed upon, tucked securely into the heated covers. The touch, his scent, disappears momentarily and I find myself in a panic. Fear washes over me and I hear myself choke back a sob.
“Hey, shh, what’s the matter?”
There’s weight next to me sliding in close as a hand trails over my damp cheeks, down my neck. “I thought it was over.”
“Ville, open your eyes.” I shake my head no. “Ville, I promise, I’m right here next to you.” Reluctantly, I allow my eyes to open. At first, my vision is too blurred, but a couple blinks and I see those haunting blue eyes, that familiar face hovering over me. I suck in a sharp breath. “See? Not a dream.”
“W-what are y-you doing here?
“I finally did it. I’m here for you.” A kiss fell against my lips but I’m too shocked to respond. I’m desperate for this to be true…but I just can’t believe…finally…”Baby, you’re so tired. We can talk about everything tomorrow. I want you to sleep.” Nodding, I tip onto my side letting Bam spoon against my back. His hand cradles my hip, fingers brushing down to my thigh lazily as he crept closer to sleep as well. That is until he feels scabbed lines running along my skin. “Ville--”
“It was an accident.”
“You accidentally cut yourself in four matching lines? You haven’t done that shit in years, like barely in your twenties. Why would you--” Things had been rough here and once, once I felt as though I would burst under the pressure. I needed to release it to survive. I didn’t’ want to tell him that though, not now when I could feel every inch of him holding me. I wanted to enjoy this for it may not be a dream but it certainly wouldn’t last. He’d come to his senses soon and once again I’d be left clinging to air with nothing to catch me as I fall.
“Don’t question, Bam. It doesn’t matter anyway, you’ll be gone by morning.”
I barely hear him whisper I love you before I succumb to dreams.
~~~
…have i still got you to be my open door?
have i still got you to be my sandy shore?
have i still got you to cross my bridge in this storm?
have i still got you to keep me warm?
if i squeeze my grape, then i drink my wine…
~~~
Hot rays of sun streaking across my face draw me from a peaceful slumber. The weight in my limbs, blurriness of my vision signals just how heavy I’ve slept. I haven’t rested so solid in weeks and I wonder what’s made the difference. Then, I recall dreaming Bam was here and for the smallest of moments actually believing he was here for me, to rescue me. It was almost as if my mind enjoyed torturing itself with such fancy. I start to move from the bed, but something constricts around my waist to keep me locked in place before moist lips graze my neck. Body stiffening, I dare a glance down to see an inked arm tight around my stomach, a familiar set of fingers interlocked with mine, calluses scratching along my skin in all the right places. I nearly jump from the bed in a panic. My heartbeat skyrockets thudding against my chest like it’s trying to break free. If any doubt remained, it all dwindles to nothing at the sound of his groggy voice on my skin. “Go back to sleep, it’s still early.”
“L-let me turn over.” There is a slight pause as if it takes time for the command to register to his sleeping brain. Then my hand is released, his arm slacking. I twist carefully until I’m on my opposite side, practically nose-to-nose with my greatest love and my biggest downfall. He looks thinner, more tired. Slow as if afraid he’d turn to vapor, I raise a hand to trace the lines of his features with a feather’s touch.
“Willa, jet lag,” he draws out the words in a while, typical Bam style; snuggling closer to me in a silent demand we sleep more. But how could I sleep with him right there withholding all his secrets. It would be stupid to even try. I want answers.
“Bam, what happened?”
Sighing, he gives in without protest as if he already expected this. As he leans back, I’m greeted by electric blues, brightened not dulled by his sleepiness. I don’t remember the last time I’d seen his eyes shimmer so vibrant-- before we got together perhaps when he was careless, carefree Bam. “Can I at least kiss you first?” Biting my lip, I give a small nod. He grins in a boy-ish fashion gradually closing the distance between us. Its slow sensual. There’s nothing rushed as if he has all the time in the world. His lips on mine feel so fucking good, I can’t help but moan a little as the tingle travels through my body. The small contact was practically orgasmic after being denied his mere company so long. He pulls away, three small pecks to smooth the transition, as his hand comes up to play in my tussled hair. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I whisper. Without prompting further, Bam leans up on an elbow fingers tracing over my bare stomach and tells me the story starting with Missy thinking they would still get married and how ‘right’ I’d been about that. Then, how he’d sat both parents down just after kicking her out and explained the situation--what he is, how long he’d been in the relationship and how in love and happy he was with a man. He’d said he was sorry if they couldn’t accept it but he was tired of hiding himself away and worse yet hiding his boyfriend who ‘loved him enough to stick by him through anything including the breaking of his own heart’ as Bam tried to fit into their mold.
“And?”
“They were quiet for a few minutes and I almost bolted straight here without giving them a chance to say their peace.. I guess they were letting it all sink in. They asked a lot of how-when-why type questions but they said they wanted me happy no matter what that meant. Ape said she kind of knew, that ‘mother’s know these things.’ I think she just knew I wasn’t happy.”
“And Jess?”
His face tightens slightly. “He was a bit more difficult, way less understanding. I- I think it had less to do with me sleeping with a man and more to do with his ego. He always thought he knew me better than anyone only to find I had this huge secret and there was someone who knew me better.”
“I’m proud of you kulta, really and not just because of us. You’ll be so much happier now.” I cup his cheek.
Bam gives a smile, pressing a kiss to the inside of my wrist and I almost turn to jello right there. “Happier because I can tell the world you’re mine.”
“Hmm, I don’t know about the world,” I snuggle closer laying my head back down as he does the same. “But we can at least not worry every time we want to kiss or touch one another.” But even with his resolved, a large knot remains settled into my stomach. I speak again much more shaky. “I-I didn’t think you’d come. I thought we were done f-for good this time. You hurt me, a lot Bammie. I’m not sure I can heal all the way, that I can be like I used to.”
“Shh, I know baby, but I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” Forever sounds so good, so sweet to my ears. “I’ll crawl through fire if I have to.”
“I would never ask you to do that.”
Tilting my head up, Bam kisses me breathless. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t. It’s been all about me for too long. Now, it’s all about what you want.”
“All I want is you.”
He chuckles arms looping around me to keep me to his chest; as if I’d go anywhere. “Well that’s easy enough. I’m already here and I’m not going anywhere this time, I swear.” A dozen kisses and a few lulling strokes of his hand down my back later, he moves on. “Um, everyone wants to meet you.”
I’m confused. “They all already know me.”
“Well you’ve been introduced as a friend and idol, not the love of my life.“ This time when he laughs its more nervous than anything. “I uh I didn’t exactly tell them who the boyfriend was. I wanted it to be a surprise.”
I push myself up enough to see his face. “Bam!“ My disapproval is met with a mischievous smirk.
“Our flight leaves tonight.”
So why am I now so suddenly nervous to meet the people I value as my second family?
Damn him and his surprises…but I can’t complain. I do just about anything at this point. After all, he’s finally here, finally showing me how much I mean to him and what he’s willing to give for me. I feel the happiness crash over me like an ocean wave.
~~~
…‘cause if i squeeze my grape, then i drink my wine
nothing is lost, it's just frozen in frost,
and it's opening time, there's no-one in line
but i've still got me to be your open door,
i've still got me to be your sandy shore
i've still got me to cross your bridge in this storm
and i've still got me to keep you warm
warmer than warm…
~~~