Comments | __vam: Blood, Sweat, and Tears- Rain

alx7734 in __vam

Blood, Sweat, and Tears- Rain

May 13, 2007 19:01

Rain Pouring on his head, a man stumbled through the dark night. An umbrella hung limp at his side unopened. A dark hood covered most of his face. His bright blue pants, darkened by rain, were stretched impossibly tight around his muscular legs. A black hoodie adorned his upper body, two wings drawn from where his shoulder blades were visible ( Read more... )

Comments 24

liesthatwebleed May 13 2007, 23:45:30 UTC

Not bad at all. Kinda short, but that's fine, as long as all of them aren't this short. You spelled 'and' wrong in the title. Good beginning.

alx7734 May 14 2007, 01:11:15 UTC

Thanks. Yeah, I was kind of rushed, because I'm not supposed to be on the computer right now... I'm planning on it being longer, this was sort of an intro, to see what sort of reaction it got. Nice to get comments ^.^

midget666 May 13 2007, 23:57:14 UTC

This is awesomeness! I love hurt/comfort vam! You gotta write longer chapters though! And poor Ville! I hope Bam finds him soon!

alx7734 May 14 2007, 01:12:14 UTC

As mentioned above, I will be writing longer chapters. Glad you enjoyed this one, hope you like the future ones.

crimsonyght666 May 14 2007, 00:21:34 UTC

This is great so far, I can't really find much mistakes, so sorry if I give no Con. Crit....
First VAM story eh? It's wonderful, I hope to read more soon love.

alx7734 May 14 2007, 01:14:38 UTC

*hugs* So happy you like it, sweetheart! If you have any suggestions, even if it's not grammar or spelling, let me know. (i.e. add a bit more description, if something is unclear, explain it, etc.) I hope to post again soon, with a much longer chapter.

crimsonyght666 May 14 2007, 01:20:33 UTC

Will do. I probably would now, since that I'm not so busy I have time to give my opinion on most things... :]
Longer chapters... yay! Means more to read of this *grins*.
You're welcome love.

alx7734 May 14 2007, 02:49:39 UTC

They'll be longer, if only for you. I wrote it out and it looks so much longer on paper than the net. >.< I'll work on it, though. I'll try to post before Wendsday(can't spell that...), but no promise.

Thread 16

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alx7734 May 15 2007, 19:58:59 UTC

^.^ hope you find the next chapter as exciting. I certainly don't, but I'll put it up anyway, since this one got more than one review, and no terrible reviews.

tia_maria_616 May 14 2007, 19:31:47 UTC

This looks good, only faults I can find are 'two wing drawn' you mean wings? and it's 'losing' not 'loosing'. More soon?

alx7734 May 15 2007, 19:57:53 UTC

Thanks a bunch, sweetie. Glad you liked it.