Burning Ambers part 1

[vam_freak]

Bam rolled over in his sleep, his thick brown hair falling into his face. He squeezed his amber eyes shut tighter as he heard a knock on the door. He squirmed a bit in frustration at being woken. Squinting at the clock, it read 10:27 a.m., untangling him self from the crimson blankets with an annoyed sigh; he stretched lazily before walking out of

Comments

[1_kiss_me_luv_1]

Cute! but try not to put it all in BIG paragraphs. Other then that you write nicely!

[elterriblefizzy]

You should probably put this under an LJ cut annnnnnnnnnd work on spacing because I can tell just by glancing that it is going to be exceptionally hard to read.

[oof_floof]

LJ Cut please.

[strangelyshaded]

I love how we barely have to tell anyone anymore... everyone else gets to it before us.

[crimsonyght666]

Lj-cut love.

Just some of my Constructive Criticism.... But... could you maybe space some of the paragraphs so it's not all in one big cluster, and whenever there is a switch in the speaking or whatever, could you space it from the last line said by the other person? Also (just a pet peeve I have...) could you correctly spell God, instead of 'Gawd', sorry, but it's just one of my pet peeves... Another thing, (I'm a spelling freak most of the time, again, sorry) but could you spell 'Luv' like 'Love'?

Other than that, it's real cute to begin with.

Wow, I rarely ever give Con. Crit. I just sort of noticed that....

Anyways, do continue, I would like to see where you go with this.

[vam_freak]

Thanks for the CC, I guess I forgot to change those types of things when I was typing, WHOOPS! I'll take what you said into effect once I figure out how to do/make an LJ cut and what-not...

[crimsonyght666]

No problem.
Okei.
That's alright, have fun and what-not.
And, Lj-cut's shouldn't be too hard to figure out, maybe a couple tries dunno, took me a couple of tries... (yes I am that slow).

*smiles*

[fear_of_light]

this fic needs:
an lj-cut, better spacing/formatting, and probably a beta