The True Story of God, Lucifer and a Man Named Bam
Title: The True Story of God, Lucifer and a Man Named Bam
Pairing: Bam/Lucifer, VAM (Ville/Bam) and others to come.
Rating: PG/PG-13
Disclaimer:Don't own, this never happened, yadda yadda.
Summary: (supposed to be humour but that's for you to decide...) Bam get's kidnapped by the Devil. Summaries give away the story, that's all I'm giving away. sorry.
Previous Chapters:
Ch.1
Ch.2
***Ch.3***
"Come with me, I want you to help me pick out the outfit I want you to wear Bam." he said as he flicked his wrist again, the same door as earlier appeared before us and pulled me in with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~2 hours later...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm not going out there!" I exclaimed angrily through gritted teeth.
"Yes you are! How many times must I say this?! You look fine!" Lucifer said with a frustrated sigh.
"But-" I began again.
"NO! WE ARE LEAVING NOW!" He said his eye's turning a black color glowing a bit. It kinda scared me. Even though at the same time it was kinda of funny... I don't even know why I think situations like this can be funny, but I do strangely enough, everyone else just thinks I'm stupid for thinking so.
"NO SHIT SHERLOCK!" He said with a pissed off expression on his face, grabbing my wrist tightly he dragged me out, his already growing sharp nails digging into my skin made me gasp out a little. Geuss I really did piss him off to the point of his sanity. The only reason it all lead to this is, he put me in these tight black girl jeans, which I think look funny on me, seeing as I had gotten so used to wearing tripp pants and shit, and then put me into this lilac frilly shirt! I mean my god! It's lilac. I do not like lilac, I am a guy. I may be gay but I do not like pastel, or light colors. But nooo... the damn thing looks almost like a blouse! When I first looked at it I thought it was a damn women's shirt. The bastard... I probably do look like shit. But he doesn't think so. He's just giving me more reasons to start disliking him. I mean sure he kidnapped me and all, but really how many people in their lifetimes get to go to hell, see Lucifer and all these other creatures, still be mortal and live? None that I know of that's for damn sure. So right now I'll just try to make the best of it, not like I enjoyed life on earth that much anyways... But the thing I'm still wondering is if Hell is supposed to be extremely hot, and fire everywhere then why haven't I burned to death or at least seen fire?
"Play 20 questions in your head, that's just wonderful Bam..." Lucifer said as we reached the door to the living room. At least that's what I think it was to... "No it's the door to the foyer."
"Stop listening to my mind! It's supposed to be private and all that shit." I hissed.
"No. It's way to entertaining for it's own good, so I think I should listen to it when and whenever I want to." He said as he pulled me through the doors with him. His arm made it's way around my waist, pulling me a little closer to him.
I looked at the people that stood before us. There where 3 men, and 2 women. All where dressed in formal clothes, their skin was very pale, not a sickly pale but more of a natural skin pale... I'm just confuzing myself... anyways, they were all pretty tall, actually theyre were taller than me... anything taller than my 5ft whatever, I consider tall. All of them had light blue eyes. I wonder what kind of creatures these are... 'Bam! Do not be so rude!' I gave a little jump. What the hell was that? Did he just talk to me in my mind?
'Yes I did you dumbass. Now stop staring, and learn to control what you think. I'm not the only one that can read your mind you know.' He said sharply.
"How are you all doing? I trust your way here went well?" Lucifer said politely to them.
"Yes, we did. Now I do say, who is this fine young lad you have there with you?" asked the older of their little group.
"Oh, he's my 'special geust'." He said grinning misceviously. "Come now, why don't we take our little conversation in the living room?" With that we all made our way into the living room which was... what? A good 7 feet over? I mean the door was right there...
After we got all seated, one of the more serious of the ladies started talking. "As you are aware, probably, is that the Demon clan has started attacking ours. And seeing as you are the ruler of the underworld, we would like for you or someone you could send to be able to fix the problem at hand before it gets worse."
"Yes, I heard about that. Sad to hear it." He didn't sound sad...
One of the younger of the men spoke up, his blonde hair bouncing along with his movement, as he looked up from whatever he was staring at. "Well, we want someone to bring peace between the clans, we have lost many men, women and children in this little war of ours. The demons don't seem to want to stop, so we fight back. We don't want to all end up dieing just because it started off fighting over some land, and accusations of 'dissapearances' happening on their side. Just because we're vampires they accuse us of taking the blood of their people." He explained.
"How about this. I have a meeting with the Elders of the demon clan in 3 days. Now during those 3 days, I want you to bring me you leader in per say about a week. And then when I meet the demon Elders in 3 days I'll have them bring me their elder in about a week also, lets make it... friday next week at 7:00pm. Then I'll sort out the problem between your clan and theirs, then hopefully this little 'battle' of yours will come to a stop." Lucifer said with some what of an authority in his voice.
"Yes lord." they all said in unison. Then they just sort of misted into the air leaving me with Lucifer. That was a bit weird, though I might say. I didn't really know what was going on, who the hell they were, but I finally got my answer to what creature they were! That made me some-what happy.
"I swear if I knew you were this crazy, I would have just left you on earth." He said walking away from me and standing in front of the big marble fireplace.
"What's that supposed to mean!?" I said standing up, throwing my arms up in the air.
"Means you sound like some insane person, like you have split personalities, 'cause you like to talk to yourself in your head to much, could get you killed someday considering alot of the creatures here can read minds." He said taking a ciggarette out of his pocket.
"You smoke?" I asked watching him light the ciggarette.
"Uh, yeah? When I was banned I took up smoking. It doesn't harm me since I'm immortal. Harms mortals, but most immortals don't get harmed by it." He explained to me.
"Oh..." I said averting my gaze to a peice of loose thread I found on my his jeans.
"What's so intresting about a loose thread?" he asked me. I looked up and saw him standing infront of me face bent down to my level. I wasn't as suprised anymore, I've been trying to keep myself from being so suprised all the time.
"Uh... It just is?" I said giving a nervous smile.
He sighed and sat down next to me. "You know it does kind of get boring around here... I mean if you've lived as long as I have then you too might start to find life boring." his gaze softened as he looked at me with a small smile.
"But how come you don't find some one to love, and not just some one for your entertainment or play-thing?" I asked him.
"It hasn't really been the same since I found God cheating on me. But then again, he did create me... So I shouldn't really care for him all to much like the way I used to. The stupid lying bastard should be destroyed, but alas, he can't. Otherwise everything will just unravel, black will become white, white becomes black, right to wrong, and wrong to right. You know that such thing, and niether of us would exist. Unless if God decided to dissapear, and die then if he wanted his creations to still be living and going on just the way they are, then he'd have to give his power over to someone he trusted and loved more than anyone he could have ever possibly loved and then they become the next God. It's not that simple though you know, it's alittle bit more complicated than that, first you have to go through this ritual and a series of test and shit." As he said this, it kind of seemed to make more sense in some weird way. I mean I may be Atheist, but now that I know they exist doesn't mean I'm going to go worship any of them. Though what he has been saying is very intresting. "Yeah well God didn't want the truth to get out to any one else, so all this shit he has going on is based on a lie, and therefore he is making a sin."
"True..." I said thinking this all over.
"You're an intresting being to talk to you know? And to think I thought mortals, to be stupid and ignorant." Lucifer said jokingly.
"Hey! Thats mean!" I said hitting him on the arm playfully.
"Oh you wanna play now? Okay then, let's play." He said with a devious smirk on his face. I got up from the couch and ran to the other end of the room. I felt something touch my ass, turning around swiftly I saw Lucifer standing there with a smirk on his face. That... that.. ugh! I ran towards him but missed as he teleported behind me and gabbed me from behind his hands resting on my waist. "Having fun?" he whispered in my ear.
"Maybe..." I said a grin going across my face.
"What would you do if I did this?" he asked as he began to kiss up my neck.
I gave a little gasp, "N-Nothing." Damn mouth, why do I have to stumble over my own words? Why?
I felt him give a little chuckle. "Then what about this?" He asked and turned my face towards his, his lips crashing down onto mine. I didn't really expect him to do that, but after a couple of seconds I started kissing back. We pulled apart after a little bit for air. "So you would still do nothing?" he asked me softly.
I brought my lips back up to his, I just met him this morning... and yet I already like him. I know what I'm doing is considered wrong...but who the hell cares?
"Come on." He said giving me a smile, grabbing my hand he pulled me out of the living room and teleported us to what was a balcony. "Like what you see?" he asked me.
"yes." I managed out, as I stared out at the vast area with awe and wonder. Far in the distance I could see what I think was dragons, and below the trees were these skinny, but tall hardwood trees, the leaves ranged from a variety of colors such as: purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, pink and red. There wasn't grass, but what made up for the lack of grass were these odd looking flowers and bushes. I looked up at the sky expecting to see a moon or something, but instead there were at least 5 moons all seem to be forming a circle in the sky, and each had a different glow to them.
"You should see it around morning and afternoon. The sky is an orange color during the day instead of this deep violet, and in the center of the moons is what you mortals would call a sun, but here it's not really a big star like yours is, it's kind of like those five moons, but it glows red. The moons you only see faintly during the day thats why you can tell the 'sun' is in the center of the circle the moons shape." He said resting his chin on my shoulder.
"And to think I thought hell was with all these pits and fires." I said grinning.
"No, unlike what alot of people think hell isn't the core of the earth, or in it for that matter. This is actually another dimension." He said explaining it in a some-what bored voice. "We can watch humans though if you go to one of the many enchanted pools of water that are at the bases of these supposedly dead trees." He said smiling.
"Nice to know we are like entertainment to you guys." I said rolling my eyes.
"Come on, it's getting late, and I have something to do tomorrow, which you will be taking part of also." He said a miscevious smile forming on his face, slipping his amrs around my waist again he teleported us back to his room. I seriously need to get used to that feeling before I end up dieing from exhaustion...
"Soo where will I be sleeping?" I asked after we both got down to only our boxers.
"Well... I was thinking a bath before we go to bed..." He said deviantly.
"N-no thats f-fine!" I stuttered and jumped into the bed.
"Fine... But we have to take one in the morning. I don't like going without my daily baths." he said before climbling in also. I was kind of happy that he didn't spoon me. I still just met him this morning after I woke up here. Oh and I must of forgot the kidnapped part... Sighing I rolled over onto my stomach, putting my arms under the pillow I fell asleep with all this new information processing in my mind.
***Lucifers POV***
I just layed there staring at the ceiling for a while. Thoughts of what had happened during the day ran through my mind. Huh, mortals are different creatures indeed, very different from the souls I see get carried to the lake of fire. Bam fell asleep some time ago. His soft steady breaths making me feel drowsy myself as I to, fell into a restless sleep.
Pairing: Bam/Lucifer, VAM (Ville/Bam) and others to come.
Rating: PG/PG-13
Disclaimer:Don't own, this never happened, yadda yadda.
Summary: (supposed to be humour but that's for you to decide...) Bam get's kidnapped by the Devil. Summaries give away the story, that's all I'm giving away. sorry.
Previous Chapters:
Ch.1
Ch.2
***Ch.3***
"Come with me, I want you to help me pick out the outfit I want you to wear Bam." he said as he flicked his wrist again, the same door as earlier appeared before us and pulled me in with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~2 hours later...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm not going out there!" I exclaimed angrily through gritted teeth.
"Yes you are! How many times must I say this?! You look fine!" Lucifer said with a frustrated sigh.
"But-" I began again.
"NO! WE ARE LEAVING NOW!" He said his eye's turning a black color glowing a bit. It kinda scared me. Even though at the same time it was kinda of funny... I don't even know why I think situations like this can be funny, but I do strangely enough, everyone else just thinks I'm stupid for thinking so.
"NO SHIT SHERLOCK!" He said with a pissed off expression on his face, grabbing my wrist tightly he dragged me out, his already growing sharp nails digging into my skin made me gasp out a little. Geuss I really did piss him off to the point of his sanity. The only reason it all lead to this is, he put me in these tight black girl jeans, which I think look funny on me, seeing as I had gotten so used to wearing tripp pants and shit, and then put me into this lilac frilly shirt! I mean my god! It's lilac. I do not like lilac, I am a guy. I may be gay but I do not like pastel, or light colors. But nooo... the damn thing looks almost like a blouse! When I first looked at it I thought it was a damn women's shirt. The bastard... I probably do look like shit. But he doesn't think so. He's just giving me more reasons to start disliking him. I mean sure he kidnapped me and all, but really how many people in their lifetimes get to go to hell, see Lucifer and all these other creatures, still be mortal and live? None that I know of that's for damn sure. So right now I'll just try to make the best of it, not like I enjoyed life on earth that much anyways... But the thing I'm still wondering is if Hell is supposed to be extremely hot, and fire everywhere then why haven't I burned to death or at least seen fire?
"Play 20 questions in your head, that's just wonderful Bam..." Lucifer said as we reached the door to the living room. At least that's what I think it was to... "No it's the door to the foyer."
"Stop listening to my mind! It's supposed to be private and all that shit." I hissed.
"No. It's way to entertaining for it's own good, so I think I should listen to it when and whenever I want to." He said as he pulled me through the doors with him. His arm made it's way around my waist, pulling me a little closer to him.
I looked at the people that stood before us. There where 3 men, and 2 women. All where dressed in formal clothes, their skin was very pale, not a sickly pale but more of a natural skin pale... I'm just confuzing myself... anyways, they were all pretty tall, actually theyre were taller than me... anything taller than my 5ft whatever, I consider tall. All of them had light blue eyes. I wonder what kind of creatures these are... 'Bam! Do not be so rude!' I gave a little jump. What the hell was that? Did he just talk to me in my mind?
'Yes I did you dumbass. Now stop staring, and learn to control what you think. I'm not the only one that can read your mind you know.' He said sharply.
"How are you all doing? I trust your way here went well?" Lucifer said politely to them.
"Yes, we did. Now I do say, who is this fine young lad you have there with you?" asked the older of their little group.
"Oh, he's my 'special geust'." He said grinning misceviously. "Come now, why don't we take our little conversation in the living room?" With that we all made our way into the living room which was... what? A good 7 feet over? I mean the door was right there...
After we got all seated, one of the more serious of the ladies started talking. "As you are aware, probably, is that the Demon clan has started attacking ours. And seeing as you are the ruler of the underworld, we would like for you or someone you could send to be able to fix the problem at hand before it gets worse."
"Yes, I heard about that. Sad to hear it." He didn't sound sad...
One of the younger of the men spoke up, his blonde hair bouncing along with his movement, as he looked up from whatever he was staring at. "Well, we want someone to bring peace between the clans, we have lost many men, women and children in this little war of ours. The demons don't seem to want to stop, so we fight back. We don't want to all end up dieing just because it started off fighting over some land, and accusations of 'dissapearances' happening on their side. Just because we're vampires they accuse us of taking the blood of their people." He explained.
"How about this. I have a meeting with the Elders of the demon clan in 3 days. Now during those 3 days, I want you to bring me you leader in per say about a week. And then when I meet the demon Elders in 3 days I'll have them bring me their elder in about a week also, lets make it... friday next week at 7:00pm. Then I'll sort out the problem between your clan and theirs, then hopefully this little 'battle' of yours will come to a stop." Lucifer said with some what of an authority in his voice.
"Yes lord." they all said in unison. Then they just sort of misted into the air leaving me with Lucifer. That was a bit weird, though I might say. I didn't really know what was going on, who the hell they were, but I finally got my answer to what creature they were! That made me some-what happy.
"I swear if I knew you were this crazy, I would have just left you on earth." He said walking away from me and standing in front of the big marble fireplace.
"What's that supposed to mean!?" I said standing up, throwing my arms up in the air.
"Means you sound like some insane person, like you have split personalities, 'cause you like to talk to yourself in your head to much, could get you killed someday considering alot of the creatures here can read minds." He said taking a ciggarette out of his pocket.
"You smoke?" I asked watching him light the ciggarette.
"Uh, yeah? When I was banned I took up smoking. It doesn't harm me since I'm immortal. Harms mortals, but most immortals don't get harmed by it." He explained to me.
"Oh..." I said averting my gaze to a peice of loose thread I found on my his jeans.
"What's so intresting about a loose thread?" he asked me. I looked up and saw him standing infront of me face bent down to my level. I wasn't as suprised anymore, I've been trying to keep myself from being so suprised all the time.
"Uh... It just is?" I said giving a nervous smile.
He sighed and sat down next to me. "You know it does kind of get boring around here... I mean if you've lived as long as I have then you too might start to find life boring." his gaze softened as he looked at me with a small smile.
"But how come you don't find some one to love, and not just some one for your entertainment or play-thing?" I asked him.
"It hasn't really been the same since I found God cheating on me. But then again, he did create me... So I shouldn't really care for him all to much like the way I used to. The stupid lying bastard should be destroyed, but alas, he can't. Otherwise everything will just unravel, black will become white, white becomes black, right to wrong, and wrong to right. You know that such thing, and niether of us would exist. Unless if God decided to dissapear, and die then if he wanted his creations to still be living and going on just the way they are, then he'd have to give his power over to someone he trusted and loved more than anyone he could have ever possibly loved and then they become the next God. It's not that simple though you know, it's alittle bit more complicated than that, first you have to go through this ritual and a series of test and shit." As he said this, it kind of seemed to make more sense in some weird way. I mean I may be Atheist, but now that I know they exist doesn't mean I'm going to go worship any of them. Though what he has been saying is very intresting. "Yeah well God didn't want the truth to get out to any one else, so all this shit he has going on is based on a lie, and therefore he is making a sin."
"True..." I said thinking this all over.
"You're an intresting being to talk to you know? And to think I thought mortals, to be stupid and ignorant." Lucifer said jokingly.
"Hey! Thats mean!" I said hitting him on the arm playfully.
"Oh you wanna play now? Okay then, let's play." He said with a devious smirk on his face. I got up from the couch and ran to the other end of the room. I felt something touch my ass, turning around swiftly I saw Lucifer standing there with a smirk on his face. That... that.. ugh! I ran towards him but missed as he teleported behind me and gabbed me from behind his hands resting on my waist. "Having fun?" he whispered in my ear.
"Maybe..." I said a grin going across my face.
"What would you do if I did this?" he asked as he began to kiss up my neck.
I gave a little gasp, "N-Nothing." Damn mouth, why do I have to stumble over my own words? Why?
I felt him give a little chuckle. "Then what about this?" He asked and turned my face towards his, his lips crashing down onto mine. I didn't really expect him to do that, but after a couple of seconds I started kissing back. We pulled apart after a little bit for air. "So you would still do nothing?" he asked me softly.
I brought my lips back up to his, I just met him this morning... and yet I already like him. I know what I'm doing is considered wrong...but who the hell cares?
"Come on." He said giving me a smile, grabbing my hand he pulled me out of the living room and teleported us to what was a balcony. "Like what you see?" he asked me.
"yes." I managed out, as I stared out at the vast area with awe and wonder. Far in the distance I could see what I think was dragons, and below the trees were these skinny, but tall hardwood trees, the leaves ranged from a variety of colors such as: purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, pink and red. There wasn't grass, but what made up for the lack of grass were these odd looking flowers and bushes. I looked up at the sky expecting to see a moon or something, but instead there were at least 5 moons all seem to be forming a circle in the sky, and each had a different glow to them.
"You should see it around morning and afternoon. The sky is an orange color during the day instead of this deep violet, and in the center of the moons is what you mortals would call a sun, but here it's not really a big star like yours is, it's kind of like those five moons, but it glows red. The moons you only see faintly during the day thats why you can tell the 'sun' is in the center of the circle the moons shape." He said resting his chin on my shoulder.
"And to think I thought hell was with all these pits and fires." I said grinning.
"No, unlike what alot of people think hell isn't the core of the earth, or in it for that matter. This is actually another dimension." He said explaining it in a some-what bored voice. "We can watch humans though if you go to one of the many enchanted pools of water that are at the bases of these supposedly dead trees." He said smiling.
"Nice to know we are like entertainment to you guys." I said rolling my eyes.
"Come on, it's getting late, and I have something to do tomorrow, which you will be taking part of also." He said a miscevious smile forming on his face, slipping his amrs around my waist again he teleported us back to his room. I seriously need to get used to that feeling before I end up dieing from exhaustion...
"Soo where will I be sleeping?" I asked after we both got down to only our boxers.
"Well... I was thinking a bath before we go to bed..." He said deviantly.
"N-no thats f-fine!" I stuttered and jumped into the bed.
"Fine... But we have to take one in the morning. I don't like going without my daily baths." he said before climbling in also. I was kind of happy that he didn't spoon me. I still just met him this morning after I woke up here. Oh and I must of forgot the kidnapped part... Sighing I rolled over onto my stomach, putting my arms under the pillow I fell asleep with all this new information processing in my mind.
***Lucifers POV***
I just layed there staring at the ceiling for a while. Thoughts of what had happened during the day ran through my mind. Huh, mortals are different creatures indeed, very different from the souls I see get carried to the lake of fire. Bam fell asleep some time ago. His soft steady breaths making me feel drowsy myself as I to, fell into a restless sleep.