One shot
Title: Just One Look Into Your Eyes
Author: absinthe_memory
Pairing: VAM
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Ville or Bam. All incidents are fiction. But we all can dream.
Notes: Ville's view. Talk of suicide, drug usage.
Summary: Ville is all alone, his depression getting to him. He's wandering the streets when he sees Bam, a close shave with death lands them in his apartment. Over the candlelight what do they discover?
A/N: Part 1/1
Dedicated to bloodhill because I wub her so...
I was walking down the road looking at the ground. I was on my own again, like usual these days. Wandering the streets looking for something, and nothing at all. I was pondering suicide, and if I could get away with it.
The band had taken off, we were finally done promoting our third album, and I was finding myself in a deep depression. One so deep, that I've taken it upon myself to cut, and harm myself in any way I see fit. Lately I've made tiny cuts in my inner arms, feeding my inner demon for pain.
I found myself walking up to my apartment, my feet seem to have a mind of their own these days. I unlocked my apartment door, stepping in. The mess was the first thing my eyes searched for, the one thing that seems to make me feel normal, that mess will always be there, it won't pack up and leave. It's going to stay there.
I threw everything off my glass-top coffee table and sat down on the couch. I bent forward, pulling the little baggy from my pocket. My little escape as well, I always said drugs are bad. Well, what a liar I turned out to be. I poured out as much as I saw fit for this occasion. Taking a credit card to make it into a line, I seperated it into two lines. I saw back for a moment, rolling up a bill, thinking about the current events in my life.
My boyfriend left me, packed up his things and moved. The manager of the band said we'd have another two months of touring to do. My brother's impending wedding. Everything seems to be crashing down all at once, and it's taking it's toll. I lean ahead, putting the bill to the table, and my nose to the bill. I blocked one nostril and sucked up.
I pulled back, rubbing my index finger under my nose, the burning sensation starting to take place. I put my hand on the table for a minute, then lowered my head back down to snort the other line. I pulled back, throwing my credit card on the floor.
I closed my eyes and waited for the sweet abyss of cocaine to over take me, and oh did it. I found myself out on the street once again, walking like always. My hands touching each and every surface I saw fit to touch. I saw a boy walking out from a restaurant, his eyes full of tears. He was stumbling into the street, my eyes turned towards a car coming down his way.
It took a second for me to react, but I did. I ran full on into him, slamming him down on the sidewalk as the car drove passed. He looked up at me, a frown leaving his face, but turning into a smile. "You saved my life," he whispered.
"It was nothing," I whispered back, sitting on the cement beside him. He turned to me, looking in my eyes.
"Dude, I almost got killed."
"I'm sorry," I looked to the ground, finding my secret out of my pocket and on the street right by his foot.
"You do drugs?" he whispered, looking at it as if that little baggy was the end of the world.
"Only recently, I've tried to kill my pain, but I guess it wasn't working."
"Drugs don't help," he looked into my eyes, his hands reaching out for mine, "What happened to make you turn to something like this?"
"My boyfriend left me, my brother's getting married, I have two more months on tour, and life is just getting to me," I told him the truth, the only person I told the truth to in the past month. Before I could speak anymore his lips were pressed to mine, his hands pulling my head closer to his lips. I pulled back, shock and enjoyment mixed into one.
"I-I-I'm sorry," he mumbled standing up with me. I nervously started tapping my index and my thumb together, one effect the drug has on me.
"I-I-I-I have to be going," I whispered, looking up and down the street quickly.
"Let me come with you, you can't go alone," he grabbed my arm, following me back to the apartment.
--
That night we sat around on my floor, finding some part of the floor that wasn't full of red bull cans, or beer. We had two white candles on either side of our legs, talking about everything in our life. All our problems, and I sobered up beforehand. Realizing I didn't need the drug as much as I thought I needed it, the drug needed me.
His hands held onto mine, looking into my eyes. "I'm Bam," he whispered, rubbing his fingers over my hands.
"I'm Ville," I smiled, a real smile for once. His soft fingers traced tiny circles over the tops of my hands. My sleeves moved up, and I felt his fingers connecting with my fresh cuts from the previous night. He turned my hands over, looking at the crimson lines.
"Don't do this anymore," he whispered. I nodded my head, somehow I knew I could make this promise. He bent his head down and kissed my wounds, my head involuntarily falling back to his touch.
"Please stop," I whispered back. His head snapped up, his eyes full of tears. Why was he crying? It killed me already to see the pain on his face, and the tears falling from his blue eyes.
"You're beautiful without these marks," his words rippled through me like a rock in a pond. The precussions still hammering in my chest.
"Don't lie to me, of all the pure things you've said tonight I cannot handle you lying to me," I cupped his face with my hands, his face illuminated by the candlelight, the other half shadowed. His head shook, and the tears fell.
"You remind me of someone," he whispered, his lip starting to tremble. I placed my thumb on his bottom lip, tracing it lightly.
"Who darling, who do I remind you of?"
"Someone I was too late to save," he looked away, both his eyes cast in shadow.
"Don't turn away from me," my voice came out hushed, almost broken with my own sadness. His face turned back to mine, still cupped between my hands.
"Now that I know you, I could never turn away," he blushed, his eyes closing for a second, before opening up with a glint I hadn't saw before.
"That's very sweet of you, but don't make a promise you have no intentions on keeping," his hands grasped mine on either side of his face, his fingers clenching tightly.
"I can't lie to you, it sounds crazy. But I don't think life will be the same after tonight," his lips dripping with his tears, I bent towards him, to place my lips on his. The taste of his tears, a taste I could never forget.
Our hands still together as we placed them between us, his eyes still looking into mine. "Why does it seem that I feel like I can do this with you every night?" I searched his face for the answer, his lips opened slightly.
"I can't answer that, but I do know I can't let this go. I have to see you again," his hand squeezed mine tighter.
"Stay the night, sleep in my bed," I offered, hoping he'd say yes. Bam's unruly curls tumbled in his eyes playfully as he cast his head down.
"Should I?" his hushed words slowly drifting from his lips.
"I can't let you leave without knowing you'll be all right," I knew it was an excuse, but I couldn't just let him walk out of my life. Not the one thing that seemed good in my endless days of depression.
"I would love nothing more than to stay the night, like this. Don't go to sleep, I couldn't bare to lose this moment," he breathed, his hand reached out in the darkness to trace my lips with his fingertips.
I closed my eyes, as his fingers urged my lips apart, willing my tongue to greet his fingers. I traced the tips of his fingers slowly, awarded with a tiny gasp from his lips. "Is it wrong to say I want you?" he questioned, "Even after only hours of knowing you. I want you badly."
"I do too," the butterflies swarming in my stomach, light and tingling.
"Kiss me," his hands reached for me, pulling me by the shoulders to his mouth. I lightly traced my tongue over his lips before our tongues touched. A shiver ran down my spine, almost making my toes curl. The best kiss I ever had, belonged to Bam.
The candles had burnt out, and we were left in darkness. He reached for my hand, pulling me to my feet. "Let's go to your bedroom," he suggested. I led him to my room, opening the door for us both.
Just one look into your eyes...
--
Love, hate? What do you all think?
Author: absinthe_memory
Pairing: VAM
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Ville or Bam. All incidents are fiction. But we all can dream.
Notes: Ville's view. Talk of suicide, drug usage.
Summary: Ville is all alone, his depression getting to him. He's wandering the streets when he sees Bam, a close shave with death lands them in his apartment. Over the candlelight what do they discover?
A/N: Part 1/1
Dedicated to bloodhill because I wub her so...
I was walking down the road looking at the ground. I was on my own again, like usual these days. Wandering the streets looking for something, and nothing at all. I was pondering suicide, and if I could get away with it.
The band had taken off, we were finally done promoting our third album, and I was finding myself in a deep depression. One so deep, that I've taken it upon myself to cut, and harm myself in any way I see fit. Lately I've made tiny cuts in my inner arms, feeding my inner demon for pain.
I found myself walking up to my apartment, my feet seem to have a mind of their own these days. I unlocked my apartment door, stepping in. The mess was the first thing my eyes searched for, the one thing that seems to make me feel normal, that mess will always be there, it won't pack up and leave. It's going to stay there.
I threw everything off my glass-top coffee table and sat down on the couch. I bent forward, pulling the little baggy from my pocket. My little escape as well, I always said drugs are bad. Well, what a liar I turned out to be. I poured out as much as I saw fit for this occasion. Taking a credit card to make it into a line, I seperated it into two lines. I saw back for a moment, rolling up a bill, thinking about the current events in my life.
My boyfriend left me, packed up his things and moved. The manager of the band said we'd have another two months of touring to do. My brother's impending wedding. Everything seems to be crashing down all at once, and it's taking it's toll. I lean ahead, putting the bill to the table, and my nose to the bill. I blocked one nostril and sucked up.
I pulled back, rubbing my index finger under my nose, the burning sensation starting to take place. I put my hand on the table for a minute, then lowered my head back down to snort the other line. I pulled back, throwing my credit card on the floor.
I closed my eyes and waited for the sweet abyss of cocaine to over take me, and oh did it. I found myself out on the street once again, walking like always. My hands touching each and every surface I saw fit to touch. I saw a boy walking out from a restaurant, his eyes full of tears. He was stumbling into the street, my eyes turned towards a car coming down his way.
It took a second for me to react, but I did. I ran full on into him, slamming him down on the sidewalk as the car drove passed. He looked up at me, a frown leaving his face, but turning into a smile. "You saved my life," he whispered.
"It was nothing," I whispered back, sitting on the cement beside him. He turned to me, looking in my eyes.
"Dude, I almost got killed."
"I'm sorry," I looked to the ground, finding my secret out of my pocket and on the street right by his foot.
"You do drugs?" he whispered, looking at it as if that little baggy was the end of the world.
"Only recently, I've tried to kill my pain, but I guess it wasn't working."
"Drugs don't help," he looked into my eyes, his hands reaching out for mine, "What happened to make you turn to something like this?"
"My boyfriend left me, my brother's getting married, I have two more months on tour, and life is just getting to me," I told him the truth, the only person I told the truth to in the past month. Before I could speak anymore his lips were pressed to mine, his hands pulling my head closer to his lips. I pulled back, shock and enjoyment mixed into one.
"I-I-I'm sorry," he mumbled standing up with me. I nervously started tapping my index and my thumb together, one effect the drug has on me.
"I-I-I-I have to be going," I whispered, looking up and down the street quickly.
"Let me come with you, you can't go alone," he grabbed my arm, following me back to the apartment.
--
That night we sat around on my floor, finding some part of the floor that wasn't full of red bull cans, or beer. We had two white candles on either side of our legs, talking about everything in our life. All our problems, and I sobered up beforehand. Realizing I didn't need the drug as much as I thought I needed it, the drug needed me.
His hands held onto mine, looking into my eyes. "I'm Bam," he whispered, rubbing his fingers over my hands.
"I'm Ville," I smiled, a real smile for once. His soft fingers traced tiny circles over the tops of my hands. My sleeves moved up, and I felt his fingers connecting with my fresh cuts from the previous night. He turned my hands over, looking at the crimson lines.
"Don't do this anymore," he whispered. I nodded my head, somehow I knew I could make this promise. He bent his head down and kissed my wounds, my head involuntarily falling back to his touch.
"Please stop," I whispered back. His head snapped up, his eyes full of tears. Why was he crying? It killed me already to see the pain on his face, and the tears falling from his blue eyes.
"You're beautiful without these marks," his words rippled through me like a rock in a pond. The precussions still hammering in my chest.
"Don't lie to me, of all the pure things you've said tonight I cannot handle you lying to me," I cupped his face with my hands, his face illuminated by the candlelight, the other half shadowed. His head shook, and the tears fell.
"You remind me of someone," he whispered, his lip starting to tremble. I placed my thumb on his bottom lip, tracing it lightly.
"Who darling, who do I remind you of?"
"Someone I was too late to save," he looked away, both his eyes cast in shadow.
"Don't turn away from me," my voice came out hushed, almost broken with my own sadness. His face turned back to mine, still cupped between my hands.
"Now that I know you, I could never turn away," he blushed, his eyes closing for a second, before opening up with a glint I hadn't saw before.
"That's very sweet of you, but don't make a promise you have no intentions on keeping," his hands grasped mine on either side of his face, his fingers clenching tightly.
"I can't lie to you, it sounds crazy. But I don't think life will be the same after tonight," his lips dripping with his tears, I bent towards him, to place my lips on his. The taste of his tears, a taste I could never forget.
Our hands still together as we placed them between us, his eyes still looking into mine. "Why does it seem that I feel like I can do this with you every night?" I searched his face for the answer, his lips opened slightly.
"I can't answer that, but I do know I can't let this go. I have to see you again," his hand squeezed mine tighter.
"Stay the night, sleep in my bed," I offered, hoping he'd say yes. Bam's unruly curls tumbled in his eyes playfully as he cast his head down.
"Should I?" his hushed words slowly drifting from his lips.
"I can't let you leave without knowing you'll be all right," I knew it was an excuse, but I couldn't just let him walk out of my life. Not the one thing that seemed good in my endless days of depression.
"I would love nothing more than to stay the night, like this. Don't go to sleep, I couldn't bare to lose this moment," he breathed, his hand reached out in the darkness to trace my lips with his fingertips.
I closed my eyes, as his fingers urged my lips apart, willing my tongue to greet his fingers. I traced the tips of his fingers slowly, awarded with a tiny gasp from his lips. "Is it wrong to say I want you?" he questioned, "Even after only hours of knowing you. I want you badly."
"I do too," the butterflies swarming in my stomach, light and tingling.
"Kiss me," his hands reached for me, pulling me by the shoulders to his mouth. I lightly traced my tongue over his lips before our tongues touched. A shiver ran down my spine, almost making my toes curl. The best kiss I ever had, belonged to Bam.
The candles had burnt out, and we were left in darkness. He reached for my hand, pulling me to my feet. "Let's go to your bedroom," he suggested. I led him to my room, opening the door for us both.
Just one look into your eyes...
--
Love, hate? What do you all think?