Return To Me Salvation 2/?
Title:Return To Me Salvation Part 2/?
Author: littlebroknsoul
Summary: Death. A simple and almost poetic word that can bring so much terror.
Disclaimer:Don't know. Don't own. Please don't sue.
A/N: This is an AU fic. It's also my first fic. Conscructive critisism is welcome, and encouraged. Thanks to heart_underrose for betaing.
Chapter 1
Have you ever felt like you are being looked out for, by an angel or some shit like that?
Yeah I know what you’re thinking, is this guy for real? Has he hit his head a bit too hard this time?
No, I’m being fucking serious, just think about it. Have you ever felt like there has been this one divine creature or something that has been looking out for you?
Trust me, I feel it. But there is probably one thing that is different between your feeling and mine.
I know believe it’s real.
Do you know how many near death experiences I have had? Fucking way too many too count. And every time I come back, people are like ‘Dude you were so lucky, I thought we had seriously lost you that time.’
I mean how many fucking times can you cheat death?
I don’t know about any one else, but I’ve cheated him WAY too many times.
He has to be so fucking pissed off right now!
But it’s so damn annoying! I mean every time I die, I always look forward to it for some unknown reason.
One minute I’m having the time of my life. And the next when I know that I’ve screwed up and something real bad is about to happen I don’t freak out and say, ‘I don’t want to die’, I fucking welcome it!
DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?!
No one looks forward to death!
Let alone me!
But what shits me even more than that. Is when, every time I come back I always seem only to remember these amazing green eyes. And it shits me to no end, because those eyes mean something, I know they do, I just can never seem to remember what!
I seem to see them where ever I go, in my dreams, in the shadows. EVERYWHERE. And it is so damn frustrating because when I look into them, all I see is lust and desire!
Don’t know how I can tell this from a pair of eyes, but dude, the intensity of their stare it makes my breath catch in my throat, and almost causes me to collapse, like some of those girls that show up at the skate park.
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
It doesn’t make any sense.
So I start rambling to my friends about these eyes, and how I see them all the time, and then they just laugh at me and tell me to shut the fuck up so they can drink in peace!
Great fucking friends they are!
But some times is hurts because, when I come back from these ‘near death’ experiences, I feel like a part of me is missing. Like a huge part of my soul has been ripped out.
Again I don’t know why. There is no one in death that is waiting for me. None of my family or friends have died, and I’m pretty sure none of my ex’s have either.
Why would any one wait for me any way?
I’m not that great.
So most likely, no one will care when I test out this theory.
To see if it’s all true that is.
This divine creature thingy.
Would you like to know what the experiment is?
I’ll tell you.
I’m going to kill myself.
Yep that’s right.
I’m going to empty the house.
Grab a knife from the kitchen.
Head to my room, sit on my bed.
Then with intentional slowness I’m going to slit my wrists so I can feel every inch of pain that the knife inflicts.
And then, with the patience I don’t have.
I’m going to wait and see what happens.
Great plan don’t you think?
I thought so.
That’s why I’m doing it right now.
Author: littlebroknsoul
Summary: Death. A simple and almost poetic word that can bring so much terror.
Disclaimer:Don't know. Don't own. Please don't sue.
A/N: This is an AU fic. It's also my first fic. Conscructive critisism is welcome, and encouraged. Thanks to heart_underrose for betaing.
Chapter 1
Have you ever felt like you are being looked out for, by an angel or some shit like that?
Yeah I know what you’re thinking, is this guy for real? Has he hit his head a bit too hard this time?
No, I’m being fucking serious, just think about it. Have you ever felt like there has been this one divine creature or something that has been looking out for you?
Trust me, I feel it. But there is probably one thing that is different between your feeling and mine.
I know believe it’s real.
Do you know how many near death experiences I have had? Fucking way too many too count. And every time I come back, people are like ‘Dude you were so lucky, I thought we had seriously lost you that time.’
I mean how many fucking times can you cheat death?
I don’t know about any one else, but I’ve cheated him WAY too many times.
He has to be so fucking pissed off right now!
But it’s so damn annoying! I mean every time I die, I always look forward to it for some unknown reason.
One minute I’m having the time of my life. And the next when I know that I’ve screwed up and something real bad is about to happen I don’t freak out and say, ‘I don’t want to die’, I fucking welcome it!
DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?!
No one looks forward to death!
Let alone me!
But what shits me even more than that. Is when, every time I come back I always seem only to remember these amazing green eyes. And it shits me to no end, because those eyes mean something, I know they do, I just can never seem to remember what!
I seem to see them where ever I go, in my dreams, in the shadows. EVERYWHERE. And it is so damn frustrating because when I look into them, all I see is lust and desire!
Don’t know how I can tell this from a pair of eyes, but dude, the intensity of their stare it makes my breath catch in my throat, and almost causes me to collapse, like some of those girls that show up at the skate park.
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
It doesn’t make any sense.
So I start rambling to my friends about these eyes, and how I see them all the time, and then they just laugh at me and tell me to shut the fuck up so they can drink in peace!
Great fucking friends they are!
But some times is hurts because, when I come back from these ‘near death’ experiences, I feel like a part of me is missing. Like a huge part of my soul has been ripped out.
Again I don’t know why. There is no one in death that is waiting for me. None of my family or friends have died, and I’m pretty sure none of my ex’s have either.
Why would any one wait for me any way?
I’m not that great.
So most likely, no one will care when I test out this theory.
To see if it’s all true that is.
This divine creature thingy.
Would you like to know what the experiment is?
I’ll tell you.
I’m going to kill myself.
Yep that’s right.
I’m going to empty the house.
Grab a knife from the kitchen.
Head to my room, sit on my bed.
Then with intentional slowness I’m going to slit my wrists so I can feel every inch of pain that the knife inflicts.
And then, with the patience I don’t have.
I’m going to wait and see what happens.
Great plan don’t you think?
I thought so.
That’s why I’m doing it right now.