Killing Childhood Chapter 17

[siakahleah]

A/N: Please forgive the quickness of the first few paragraphs, but I just wanted to transition to where my story continued. Like I said previously, I don't like to dwell on things so this is what I came up with. I hope you like it. I am very sad that there is only one more chapter, but you all will love the epilogue. My muse came ten-fold today and I just can't write it all fast enough. In fact it may all be up like in a day-and-a-half at this rate.

I really, really love comments and want to hear from you all. The more I hear the quicker I will post the next chapter and epilogue. I am so excited about it.

Okay, it was brought to my attention that I messed up the chapter number, but it is fixed now. Sorry about the mix up.

(Pardon the weird mood I am in, thanks).
A/N: My family and the person Bam is based on's family both celebrate the opening of our presents on Christmas Eve and only do the stocking thing on Christmas Day.

Disclaimer: Everything I own, I bought myself. Do you think I could afford these two? Obviously not or this would be posted with gold trim. (I own nothing or anyone having to do with this story, blah, blah, blah.)

CHAPTER 17: COMING TO A HEAD

Ville ventured out more and more with Bam and getting to know Ryan and Dico a little better. Ville figured that Bam was a good judge of character and allowed Bam to tell his two closest friends what really happened the night Ville was found. Ryan and Dico told Ville that now 'he was part of the posse' so no one would ever lay another hand on Ville. Ville finally felt as if he belonged somewhere. These people didn't judge him or take advantage. It was amazing.

Bam wanted to share his love of skating with Ville so Bam tried to teach Ville to skate as well. Ville could never make it past four feet before stumbling off the board. It didn't help that Ville was still somewhat weak from his surgery and past injuries. Bam and Ville finally decided to give up the skating and let Ville stick to things not so physically dangerous.

♥♥♥

Ville started to sing in the shower more and more often. Bam hardly ever heard a weep, though they still came occasionally. Nights were becoming calmer as well, though Ville still had a nightmare here and there and Ville almost always wept in his sleep. Bam would shush Ville back to a calmer slumber and things were good again.

♥♥♥

Before long, it was Christmas Eve. Ville didn't have any money so he gave Bam pictures he'd drawn while watching Bam at the skate park. Bam loved them because they came from Ville and they were honest representations of what Bam meant to Ville. Ville told Bam that another gift would come later that evening.

Bam had saved every dime he had and bought Ville more notebooks and a tape recorder. Ville was confused by the recorder at first until Bam told Ville about eavesdropping on the singing in the shower. Ville grinned glad to know that Bam liked the singing because Ville was already nervous about the other present, but wasn't about to back out of it.

Ville went to his room when all the presents were handed out and opened and told Bam to come up to the room in fifteen minutes. Ape just smiled at them both. She was in the know and Bam knew it. Bam walked over to his mother and said in a sing-song voice, "I love you, Ape."

"Yeah, uh, huh. You are going to find out in a few minutes so don't you dare try to butter me up. Ville made me promise and I am not going to say a word," Ape said adamantly and she got up and walked to the kitchen away from her son's prying eyes.

"Hmmph," Bam said feeling defeated. He could be patient when he had to be, but he didn't want to right now. Christmas brought out the kid in Bam and he wanted his present now.

♥♥♥

When Brian's house was being cleaned, finally, Ville's guitar was sent to the Margera home. Ville didn't even know why he'd brought it to America. Ville hadn't touched his guitar since that night Miska had given it to Ville. The guitar was a symbol of belonging to his uncle and that thought had made Ville sick all these years. Now, it didn't seem as bad. Ville had Ape restring the guitar at a shop. Ape had insisted when she found out what Ville had wanted to do for Bam as a Christmas present.

Ville tuned his guitar and waited for Bam to show. Fifteen minutes (to the second) Bam entered the room. Bam didn't even know that Ville had a guitar. "What's this?" Bam asked.

"Please sit down Bam," Ville said motioning to the floor. Bam did as he was told without a second thought and still in awe of Ville holding a musical instrument. Bam hardly noticed how apprehensive Ville seemed. "I wrote you a song, my love," Ville said shakily. "I've been trying to get it right by singing it in the shower and anywhere else I could without people hearing me. I guess the shower thing didn't work so well, but I hope you enjoy it anyway."

Ville strummed the guitar and began, "In the grace of your love, I writhe in pain..."

"That was beautiful, Ville. Thank you," Bam said as he hoisted himself from the floor to approach Ville when Ville stopped singing. Bam gave Ville the sweetest peck on the lips and said, "I loved it and it's mine. I knew you had talent and this proved it." Bam hoped he said the right thing to Ville. He wanted Ville to pursue what he indisputably loved. Bam could see it in Ville's eyes as Ville sang. Ville brought Bam in for a slightly more desperate kiss.

"Thank you, my love," Ville said. Bam didn't ask about the guitar for which Ville was grateful so Ville offered the information to Bam. "I never told you I had a guitar because it was a present from my uncle years ago. But you're right; I don't have to worry about him anymore. If I really want to do better I have to take it a step at a time and this was just another," Ville said almost regretfully as he put the guitar on the stand.

"You didn't have to explain, Ville. I knew you would tell me eventually," Bam said.

"I wanted to, Bam. I don't want to hide anything from you anymore," Ville said knowing that was as much a promise to himself as it was to Bam.

Ville started to look weary again. "You tired, Ville?" Bam asked.

"A little," Ville said as he yawned.

Together they crawled onto the bed and Ville curled into Bam's arms as they both drifted to sleep.

♥♥♥

Bam awoke to the smell of peanut butter cookies baking again. He couldn't figure out what could possibly be bothering Ape now since things seemed to be going so wonderfully. Bam went into the kitchen and tapped his mother on the shoulder.

"What's up now, Ape?" Bam asked.

"I, ah, um," Ape said stumbling to try to find the words.

"Are you okay?" Bam asked a little concerned.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine. It's just now that everything is settled...I feel like a real heel saying this now," Ape said still not making any sense to Bam. Ape could tell and continued, "Why didn't you ever tell me you were, you know?" Ape asked hoping Bam would understand; he didn't.

"No, I don't know. What?" Bam asked.

Ape had never said the word aloud so she whispered it, "Gay?" Her voice then rose to a normal level, "I mean I felt like and still feel like I never really knew my own son. You never hide anything and you hid this for so long and from everyone. I know you hid it from Ville. That wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to your friends and family." Ape felt as if the weight of the world had just been lifted from her shoulders as she spoke.

Bam looked at his hands. His mother was right. Bam didn't know why Ape had never asked. Bam looked back at his mother, "You're right, Ape. Truth-be-told I knew the day I met Ville that I loved him. I knew and I said nothing...to anyone."

"Was that so hard?" Ape asked as she patted Bam's hands.

Bam slightly glared at her, "You know it kind of was." Ape just smirked but knew that for some reason things would be fine between her and her son now. Ape looked up at the doorway and saw Ville standing there. Ville's face was streaked with eyeliner.

"You okay Ville?" Ape asked worriedly.

Ville walked into the kitchen and stared right at Bam. Bam looked back at Ville with those soft eyes Ville knew would never do harm. Bam blushed at the scrutiny of the look and Ville spoke, "You knew you loved me from the moment you met me?" Ville asked with shock in his voice.

"I'll just leave you two to talk," Ape said walking out of the kitchen.

Bam said, "Yeah, I knew from the little bathroom incident. Why do you think I was so persistent and never left you alone? I am not that desperate just for a friend, Ville. Friends come and go. I know that love is rare and when it's found that person should hold onto it with all his might." Bam said it with such honesty that Ville was filled with more feelings of love than Ville ever thought imaginable. Another tear fell from Ville's eye. Bam reached up to wipe it from Ville's face and Ville tilted his head into Bam's hand.

Ville smiled and said, "You know I felt the same, but I denied it until you kissed me on the hill. That was when I knew." Ville grabbed Bam's hand placing it over the location of Ville's heart. Bam knew that every time Ville was that deeply honest it took all Ville's guts to do so and it made Bam happy to know Ville was becoming more trusting.

"That''s one of my favorite memories," Bam said as they reached for one another. At first the kiss was soft and sweet but soon turned to passionate. The kiss continued until neither could breathe. It was Bam that broke the kiss, but being in that state said, "I need you, Ville."

Ville and Bam had never gotten around to talking about sex. It frightened Ville and he trembled when Bam said it.

Bam came to his senses and said, "Oh, baby, I'm sorry. I know you’re not ready. I won't push, I promise," Bam said feeling guilty. "I couldn't stand it if I caused you pain."

Bam was surprised by Ville's reply, "The only pain I am in is not having your skin against mine." Ville kissed Bam gently again to let Bam know that what was said was meant.

"Ville, are you sure?" Bam asked still not sure himself about Ville's state of mind though Ville did seem calmer.

Ville smiled at Bam and started to walk towards the door. Ville turned back to Bam and said, "I'll be waiting. I am sure and you have a key." Ville left the room with a wink and Bam was a bit flustered. Bam knew that Ville didn't make snap decisions, at least not since moving into the house. Bam realized this was it. Tonight was the night and suddenly Bam was nothing but nervous.