'Alo loves.
I don't believe I'm going to be writing Ignorance isn't Always Bliss anymore. I'm not sure, but I'm having serious writer's block and are barely writing enough to cover a page. So whatever writing (for now) that you'll be getting out of me are One-Shots written at school when bored, mkay?
So haitus for now, but if I'm going to cancel I'll make sure to let you all know, darlings.
Now, on with the One-Shot! (Even though I wrote it, like, a week before Halloween...xD)
Title: It Isn't Always What It Looks Like
Rating: PG-13 through R
Pairing: Vam, oh course
Warnings: Death/insanity fic
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, don't have money.
I toss and turn in bed, and he was on my mind. His souldful emerald eyes, and long, dark hair. His razorblade cheekbones, and the glow of his pale skin in the moonlight. The heartagram tattoo that poked out from underneath his tight jeans would be as much as I would ever see...
Or so I had thought.
It was a big mistake that would probably cost me every last friendship I ever had. But I had to be honest. I had to tell them. They had a right to know.
I flipped the pillow onto the cold side and closed my eyes, dreading the morning.
The morning that would bring every last skeleton in my closet out into the open.
***
"Bam, breakfast!" April's voice drifted into my dreams of deciet, hate, and lies, pulling me up and towards my demise.
The smell of bacon, hash browns, and eggs wafted through to me, but my stomach was full of dread. The feeling was sickening, making my stomach churn. So I ran to the nearest bathroom, dry heading against the toilet, but I had long since emptied out all its contest.
It was all my fault...
A new wave of nausea passed over me, making me grip the snow white toilet seat, heaving some more, my throat and stomach burning from the effort.
My stomahc decided to let me get out of this black marble prison, and, with one final heave, I steadied myself and got up , shakily making my way to my bedroom. I pulled on a shirt, and realized, with a sob, it was a HIM shirt. I ripped it off my body, and fell on my bed, sobbing into my pillow.
It was a mistake. I was getting too clingy...I've learned the hard way that being clingy was a heartbreak.
This time I had refused to let myself get too attached...it seemed to be too late though.
My heart yearned for him. In my bed, next to me. I closed my eyes and I could almost feel his warmth, a ghost of a touch running through my hair. I pulled his pillow to my chest, and breathed in his heavenly scent. The combined perfume of coconut shampoo, cigarette smoke, lavendar body wash, and his own unique smell lingured in my nose and I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to cry anymore. The memory of the cKy crew making fun of Ville's girly soap choices penetrated my mind, though, and I pushed the pillow away, wanting to preserve his scent for as long as possible.
I was far too attached for my own good now and I knew it.
There was banging on the door, and April's voice cut though my head, and I felt my temples pound with my heartbeat. "BAM! Are you up?"
It felt like my throat had been sandpapered before getting superglued shut, although I managed to croak out, "Yeah," loud enough to keep April at bay. I heard her footsteps start down the steps, apparently finished with her deed. I forced my now throbbing head off my pillow and shakily pulled on a shirt, this time an Element one, and a pair of jeans before wandering downstairs for breakfast.
"Bam, how are you?" Johnny's voice was far too loud for my liking. It was like the worst hangover of my life...with the only mishap behing my alcohol consumption, or lack thereof. "You look horrible!"
"Thanks, Knoxvillem," I muttered, getting a soda can from the fridge, popping the tab before sitting down across the table from him. The cola tasted like tar and I started to feel the carbonated soda upset my stomach, making me feel like I was going to explode.I set the can down, and watched the condensation roll down the metal, and onto the glazed wood, slowly but surely ruining the table. He always fretted over coasters.
I bit my lip, blinking profusively to keep the tears from rolling down my face.
All my fault....
"Bam, you okay?"
Nod.
"No, you're not."
Nod.
"See, I know you Bam. You sick?"
Shake. Poor Johnny...so concerned. He really shouldn't have been though.I know I could get through this...I just needed time.
But what I didn't know was what real love was. I had been rejected by crushes so many times, but that was it. They were only crushes. I had found love and destroyed it in the blink of an eye.
"Hey, where's Ville? I'm going to--" He stopped abruptly, when I made a sound like a dying cow, and my head fell down on the table, tears streaming down my face.
Ville Valo was my world. And now it's destroyed.
All my fault...
Suddenly, a scream pierced the air, and Johnny and I exchanged looks, before investigating. And there April was...in his doorway, hand over mouth.
I pushed my way through, and there Ville was, tucked in, eyes closed. He looked so peaceful...
He was exactly how I left him. He deserved this for what he did to me.
The tattoo on the hand I held was proof of what he had done to me. I looked at it and pressed my lips against his fingers, the tattoo of the cursive J burning me, but the rest of the hand cold as ice.
I let go of the hand before running to the bathroom, and heaved up the little soda I had drank. I flushed and wiped my mouth off with my sleeve. I walked out.
"It's my fault," I whispered. Everyone stared but I said no more, curling up next to the corpse of my love. I patted his hair down and ran my fingers over his lips. There was no warm breath on my fingers, no fluttering of the eyelashes...just stillness. Complete stillness. Eternal sleep.
April screamed again and called 911 but there was nothing to do. Paramedics arrived, but it was far too late. They did all they could, but it wasn't enough.
He was dead. And it was all my fault.
The coroner came, but I didn't let him touch my Ville. I protected him: Ville wouldn't have wanted to be cut open.
But the coroner got him, and he was whisked away from me, forever.
And it was all my fault.
***
"Bam Margera, you are under arrest!" The cop's voice drifted to me in a daze, slowly, as if we were all underwater/
The door was kicked down and one of them found me, and cuffed me, but I felt as though I was watching them from afar, like on TV. 'Just reviewing a disastrous Viva La Nam episode - it's all over though,' I told myself.
The cop put his hand on my head once wer got to the car, and it was like he had taken my sould and stuffed it back into me.
I sat uncomfortably in the back seat of the cop car, hands around my back, watching everything get bathed in red and blue. 'Funny,' I thought, 'Red and blue are gang colors.'
It was crazy how, once a simple siren filled the sky, how the police were allowed to speed. I watched as trees melded into houses, and houses melded back into trees, and so on and so forth. It was dizzying, and made me sick to my stomach.
And right when I thought I'd puke up every last thing I had ate in the last 24 hours, we screeched to an abrupt stop. I was roughly pulled out of the car and pushed all the way into an iterrogation room.
A man sat, all alone, in the room. He resembaled Ville a lot, and I gulped. I sat down across from him.
His inky hair had that wavy, soft look and his green eyes were just one shade away from emeral. He had pale skin and plump lips that seemed lightly glossed.
"You killed Ville Valo." His voice wasn't nearly as attractive as Ville's though. Actuallt a little annoying. I said nothing.
"This is what I think went down: you two got into an argument, but you acted sweet about it. You cookied him dinner, peas, carrots, chicken marinated in soy sauce. But what was also in the soy sauce was ricin. You probably watch him writh in pain before actually dying, and then you fixed him up and tucked him in and went to bed. Am I right?"
I shook my head. "He betrayed me. He was mine, and then that bitch took him away. If he wasn't mine, he wasn't anyone's!"
The guy blinked. "But you did it." Tears came to my eyes and I started to sob, and nodded.
"I had to. He deserved it. I loved him, I gave up everything for him, and yet, what did he do? Got himself a slut that would only hurt him. I couldn't let that happen. I cared about him too much to let him get hurt by a no good whore. So I put him out of his misery. I was only caring for him. I loved him." I hated the way my voice wavered, affected by my sharp inhales and tears.
"Has it occured to you that he might, just might, have loved the girl he was engaged to?"
The tears fell down and I sobbed heavily. "He loved me!" I shrieked. "He loved me..."
Ifelt them take me away and put me in a cell. I laid down, sobbing, and waited.
Waited to wake up.
Waited for Ville to come back.
Waited for a love that will never come.
A/N: So, what do you think? This was just something I've been meaning to post for a few weeks, just never got around to posting it. I wrote it at school...it isn't the best but I think you might like it...I know my friends at school did. =D
So haitus for now, but if I'm going to cancel I'll make sure to let you all know, darlings.
Now, on with the One-Shot! (Even though I wrote it, like, a week before Halloween...xD)
Title: It Isn't Always What It Looks Like
Rating: PG-13 through R
Pairing: Vam, oh course
Warnings: Death/insanity fic
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, don't have money.
I toss and turn in bed, and he was on my mind. His souldful emerald eyes, and long, dark hair. His razorblade cheekbones, and the glow of his pale skin in the moonlight. The heartagram tattoo that poked out from underneath his tight jeans would be as much as I would ever see...
Or so I had thought.
It was a big mistake that would probably cost me every last friendship I ever had. But I had to be honest. I had to tell them. They had a right to know.
I flipped the pillow onto the cold side and closed my eyes, dreading the morning.
The morning that would bring every last skeleton in my closet out into the open.
***
"Bam, breakfast!" April's voice drifted into my dreams of deciet, hate, and lies, pulling me up and towards my demise.
The smell of bacon, hash browns, and eggs wafted through to me, but my stomach was full of dread. The feeling was sickening, making my stomach churn. So I ran to the nearest bathroom, dry heading against the toilet, but I had long since emptied out all its contest.
It was all my fault...
A new wave of nausea passed over me, making me grip the snow white toilet seat, heaving some more, my throat and stomach burning from the effort.
My stomahc decided to let me get out of this black marble prison, and, with one final heave, I steadied myself and got up , shakily making my way to my bedroom. I pulled on a shirt, and realized, with a sob, it was a HIM shirt. I ripped it off my body, and fell on my bed, sobbing into my pillow.
It was a mistake. I was getting too clingy...I've learned the hard way that being clingy was a heartbreak.
This time I had refused to let myself get too attached...it seemed to be too late though.
My heart yearned for him. In my bed, next to me. I closed my eyes and I could almost feel his warmth, a ghost of a touch running through my hair. I pulled his pillow to my chest, and breathed in his heavenly scent. The combined perfume of coconut shampoo, cigarette smoke, lavendar body wash, and his own unique smell lingured in my nose and I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to cry anymore. The memory of the cKy crew making fun of Ville's girly soap choices penetrated my mind, though, and I pushed the pillow away, wanting to preserve his scent for as long as possible.
I was far too attached for my own good now and I knew it.
There was banging on the door, and April's voice cut though my head, and I felt my temples pound with my heartbeat. "BAM! Are you up?"
It felt like my throat had been sandpapered before getting superglued shut, although I managed to croak out, "Yeah," loud enough to keep April at bay. I heard her footsteps start down the steps, apparently finished with her deed. I forced my now throbbing head off my pillow and shakily pulled on a shirt, this time an Element one, and a pair of jeans before wandering downstairs for breakfast.
"Bam, how are you?" Johnny's voice was far too loud for my liking. It was like the worst hangover of my life...with the only mishap behing my alcohol consumption, or lack thereof. "You look horrible!"
"Thanks, Knoxvillem," I muttered, getting a soda can from the fridge, popping the tab before sitting down across the table from him. The cola tasted like tar and I started to feel the carbonated soda upset my stomach, making me feel like I was going to explode.I set the can down, and watched the condensation roll down the metal, and onto the glazed wood, slowly but surely ruining the table. He always fretted over coasters.
I bit my lip, blinking profusively to keep the tears from rolling down my face.
All my fault....
"Bam, you okay?"
Nod.
"No, you're not."
Nod.
"See, I know you Bam. You sick?"
Shake. Poor Johnny...so concerned. He really shouldn't have been though.I know I could get through this...I just needed time.
But what I didn't know was what real love was. I had been rejected by crushes so many times, but that was it. They were only crushes. I had found love and destroyed it in the blink of an eye.
"Hey, where's Ville? I'm going to--" He stopped abruptly, when I made a sound like a dying cow, and my head fell down on the table, tears streaming down my face.
Ville Valo was my world. And now it's destroyed.
All my fault...
Suddenly, a scream pierced the air, and Johnny and I exchanged looks, before investigating. And there April was...in his doorway, hand over mouth.
I pushed my way through, and there Ville was, tucked in, eyes closed. He looked so peaceful...
He was exactly how I left him. He deserved this for what he did to me.
The tattoo on the hand I held was proof of what he had done to me. I looked at it and pressed my lips against his fingers, the tattoo of the cursive J burning me, but the rest of the hand cold as ice.
I let go of the hand before running to the bathroom, and heaved up the little soda I had drank. I flushed and wiped my mouth off with my sleeve. I walked out.
"It's my fault," I whispered. Everyone stared but I said no more, curling up next to the corpse of my love. I patted his hair down and ran my fingers over his lips. There was no warm breath on my fingers, no fluttering of the eyelashes...just stillness. Complete stillness. Eternal sleep.
April screamed again and called 911 but there was nothing to do. Paramedics arrived, but it was far too late. They did all they could, but it wasn't enough.
He was dead. And it was all my fault.
The coroner came, but I didn't let him touch my Ville. I protected him: Ville wouldn't have wanted to be cut open.
But the coroner got him, and he was whisked away from me, forever.
And it was all my fault.
***
"Bam Margera, you are under arrest!" The cop's voice drifted to me in a daze, slowly, as if we were all underwater/
The door was kicked down and one of them found me, and cuffed me, but I felt as though I was watching them from afar, like on TV. 'Just reviewing a disastrous Viva La Nam episode - it's all over though,' I told myself.
The cop put his hand on my head once wer got to the car, and it was like he had taken my sould and stuffed it back into me.
I sat uncomfortably in the back seat of the cop car, hands around my back, watching everything get bathed in red and blue. 'Funny,' I thought, 'Red and blue are gang colors.'
It was crazy how, once a simple siren filled the sky, how the police were allowed to speed. I watched as trees melded into houses, and houses melded back into trees, and so on and so forth. It was dizzying, and made me sick to my stomach.
And right when I thought I'd puke up every last thing I had ate in the last 24 hours, we screeched to an abrupt stop. I was roughly pulled out of the car and pushed all the way into an iterrogation room.
A man sat, all alone, in the room. He resembaled Ville a lot, and I gulped. I sat down across from him.
His inky hair had that wavy, soft look and his green eyes were just one shade away from emeral. He had pale skin and plump lips that seemed lightly glossed.
"You killed Ville Valo." His voice wasn't nearly as attractive as Ville's though. Actuallt a little annoying. I said nothing.
"This is what I think went down: you two got into an argument, but you acted sweet about it. You cookied him dinner, peas, carrots, chicken marinated in soy sauce. But what was also in the soy sauce was ricin. You probably watch him writh in pain before actually dying, and then you fixed him up and tucked him in and went to bed. Am I right?"
I shook my head. "He betrayed me. He was mine, and then that bitch took him away. If he wasn't mine, he wasn't anyone's!"
The guy blinked. "But you did it." Tears came to my eyes and I started to sob, and nodded.
"I had to. He deserved it. I loved him, I gave up everything for him, and yet, what did he do? Got himself a slut that would only hurt him. I couldn't let that happen. I cared about him too much to let him get hurt by a no good whore. So I put him out of his misery. I was only caring for him. I loved him." I hated the way my voice wavered, affected by my sharp inhales and tears.
"Has it occured to you that he might, just might, have loved the girl he was engaged to?"
The tears fell down and I sobbed heavily. "He loved me!" I shrieked. "He loved me..."
Ifelt them take me away and put me in a cell. I laid down, sobbing, and waited.
Waited to wake up.
Waited for Ville to come back.
Waited for a love that will never come.
A/N: So, what do you think? This was just something I've been meaning to post for a few weeks, just never got around to posting it. I wrote it at school...it isn't the best but I think you might like it...I know my friends at school did. =D