The Lost Boy - Chapter One
Since there was such demand for me to continue this.
Which I had just planned as a One-Shot but here ya go sweethearts!
Summary - Based on the books by Dave Pelzer.Written in Bam’s point of view.
Disclaimer - Do not own.Never Happened either.
Here be the link for said One-Shot which started this:
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/2282541.html
A/N - Sorry this took so long.
My bestie came over for a few days.Got a bit…distracted playing Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PS2.
I look at Ville for maybe the fifth time.
Him with his pretty shoulder length hair so dark as to be almost black.
His pale skin suits him so well too,contrasting with that hair.
His pouty lips and sunken cheekbones makes me think that he must be a smoker.
…Shit.
I cannot have him think that I am staring.
Turn my gaze lower,to look at the new sneakers he has given me.
God,they are so clean and they seem like they must have cost a lot.
And they are really comfortable too.
Hide beneath the messy curls of brown strands of hair.
Like I always do.
Hide behind the veil of hair.
It helps me to stay more unnoticeable.
Stops me drawing too much attention to myself.
I am not worthy enough to even look at anybody.
Still unable to believe that he is so kind as to take me in like this.
I mean,he just found me and now has brought me to his apartment.
I find it rather hard to believe that he is doing this all out of the goodness of his heart.
Though he must care about abused and orphaned kids a lot if he owns an Orphanage.
And being with him will probably be much better then staying in a foster home.
Oh,I have heard about those.
Yes.
Heard horrible things that people say has happened to foster kids.
The way that everybody looks down on them.
That is why I much prefer to stay here.
With this ‘Ville’.
Who knows nothing about me but is going to look after me.
He shows me around his apartment and he is always smiling at me and reassuring me.
Always watching me as he leads me through and explains certain things to me.
His eyes never seem to stray far from me.
Those piercing green eyes.
I cannot look at them for long.
It is as if they are hypnotising me.
Not only that but it is also a result of being around my father.
I could never look him in the eyes anymore.
Not after what he had done to me.
Because of this I never look anybody in the eyes now.
After all those years,I am finally free.
Well…I seem to be free that is for sure.
All I know is that it sure does not seem like I am going home.
Because Ville is asking me what colour I want my room to be and planning what school I go to…
Showing me the room he plans for me to sleep in and call my own.
Fuck.
So he really means it when he says that I will never see Phil and Jesse and Ape again?
I cannot do that.
I do not want to be separated from them.
It was not Phil’s fault all this happened.
Doesn’t Ville know that?
I should never have tried to run away like this.
I want to stay with Jesse..
God,what have I done?
Guilt manifests itself in my stomach making me feel sick.
I cannot just leave Jesse and Ape back at home to deal with this.
I do not even want to imagine what they must be thinking happened to me right now.
Ape must be worried sick about me.
At the time when I had ran off last night all I had wanted was to get away from Phil.
I had never thought that this strange foreign man would find me and start planning for my adoption.
I shake my head, interrupting him in mid-sentence.
“Ville..I appreciate all you have done for me.Really!But I think I need to go home now.
It is morning,Ape will be worried…”
He smiles sadly at me and his face falls slightly.
“Bam,I cannot let you go back there.I found you on the street.At night.And look at what he did to you..”
He reaches to pull up my shirt,putting down the file I had seen him reading when I had first awoken earlier.
I tense instinctively at this and try to pull back.
I know much better then him what my father has done.
I tell him that,blinking back tears as I turn and run towards the front door.
He is faster then me and grabs me,pulls me back,arms around my waist.
Even then he is gentle.
Not grabbing me too tightly as to cause me pain from the knife wound,but just enough to stop me from getting out of his grasp.
“You are staying…”
I shake my head and keep sobbing as he kneels down with me half curled up in his lap.
Words of reassurance and encouragement are whispered softly into my ear as I bob quietly into his shirt.
The tears cling to my eyelashes and make trails down my now slick cheeks as I lift my head to look at him hesitantly.
He smiles at me.
I guess I have no choice.
He really wants me to stay.
And he clearly does not want me to go back home at any rate.
So I suppose I am going to be staying here then.
That won’t be so bad.
Better then getting beaten up back at home by my own father anyway.
I can lick this.
I have been staying here for two days now.
Ville seems to be on the phone a lot.
Arguing and getting frustrated with whoever is on the other line.
I get the feeling he is talking about me.
Not that I have tried to eavesdrop or anything but I just get the feeling.
He comes over to where I am sitting on the sofa.
Kneels down to look at me face to face.
I can tell he has something bad to tell me.
He is reluctant.
He however says nothing.
Maybe he is putting off telling me whatever it is.
I have no idea what has been going on.
But my life sure has changed since he found me three nights ago.
He has brought me a whole new wardrobe which I reluctantly accepted since I had no clothes with me except the ones he found me in which were bloodstained.
He brought me heaps of stuff actually.
A skateboard,iPod,electric guitar,drumsticks,a PlayStation Portable and a cellphone.
I kept telling him that I did not need any of it.
He would not listen to me though.
I guess he does not agree with me that I am not worthy of any of this.
He has done so much for me.
Buying me all that stuff.
Taking me to the movies and then to the arcade.
I actually allowed myself to laugh and smile for the first time in years.
I actually had fun for a change.
Yet…
I feel like I am in a dream.
I know that it is only a matter of time now.
Till I awake from my slumber during which I dream of this Ville and his kindness and where I am wearing warm,dry clothes and I am bathed.
Only a matter of time till he finds me.
He always has.
Every time I have tried to run away when I was younger he always managed to find where I was.
This time won’t be any different.
It should be easy enough for him to find me if he asks around.
So I just sit here and wait.
Wait for my slumber to end and reality to come crashing down on me harshly.
Because there is just no way that I could actually be adopted by Ville.
Phil would definitely not allow it.
I know that.
Even now I am still scared to make the most of my time with him and am in denial that this is all happening.
Ville seems very protective.
Watching me all the time.
A couple of times when I have woken up he has been there.
He comforted me and told me not to worry and that everything was going to be fine.
God,I really want to believe him so fucking much!
I wonder why he is so protective of me…
He does not seem to have any children of his own that I know of.
I could be wrong though but he has never mentioned that he has any.
Or even a girlfriend.
I guess not all nineteen year olds can have girlfriends though.
But maybe she lives somewhere else with his kids.
I do not want to impose for too long.
He deserves to have a much trouble free life as possible and that is all that will happen iof I stay.
Wherever I go,Trouble follows.
And I do not mean my cat follows me around everywhere either.
I have a hunch that the trouble is because of that folder.
Ville keeps looking through it.
I am assuming that it has to do with me because everytime that I walk in the room he puts it away or closes it.
I think that it is probably my records.
He knows what my father does.
He must know about how Social Services has been to our house twice before.
I am ashamed that he knows all this.
But he keeps telling me that it is not my fault and that I am safe now.
Well,maybe it would not hurt too much to indulge and believe him…
Which I had just planned as a One-Shot but here ya go sweethearts!
Summary - Based on the books by Dave Pelzer.Written in Bam’s point of view.
Disclaimer - Do not own.Never Happened either.
Here be the link for said One-Shot which started this:
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/2282541.html
A/N - Sorry this took so long.
My bestie came over for a few days.Got a bit…distracted playing Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PS2.
I look at Ville for maybe the fifth time.
Him with his pretty shoulder length hair so dark as to be almost black.
His pale skin suits him so well too,contrasting with that hair.
His pouty lips and sunken cheekbones makes me think that he must be a smoker.
…Shit.
I cannot have him think that I am staring.
Turn my gaze lower,to look at the new sneakers he has given me.
God,they are so clean and they seem like they must have cost a lot.
And they are really comfortable too.
Hide beneath the messy curls of brown strands of hair.
Like I always do.
Hide behind the veil of hair.
It helps me to stay more unnoticeable.
Stops me drawing too much attention to myself.
I am not worthy enough to even look at anybody.
Still unable to believe that he is so kind as to take me in like this.
I mean,he just found me and now has brought me to his apartment.
I find it rather hard to believe that he is doing this all out of the goodness of his heart.
Though he must care about abused and orphaned kids a lot if he owns an Orphanage.
And being with him will probably be much better then staying in a foster home.
Oh,I have heard about those.
Yes.
Heard horrible things that people say has happened to foster kids.
The way that everybody looks down on them.
That is why I much prefer to stay here.
With this ‘Ville’.
Who knows nothing about me but is going to look after me.
He shows me around his apartment and he is always smiling at me and reassuring me.
Always watching me as he leads me through and explains certain things to me.
His eyes never seem to stray far from me.
Those piercing green eyes.
I cannot look at them for long.
It is as if they are hypnotising me.
Not only that but it is also a result of being around my father.
I could never look him in the eyes anymore.
Not after what he had done to me.
Because of this I never look anybody in the eyes now.
After all those years,I am finally free.
Well…I seem to be free that is for sure.
All I know is that it sure does not seem like I am going home.
Because Ville is asking me what colour I want my room to be and planning what school I go to…
Showing me the room he plans for me to sleep in and call my own.
Fuck.
So he really means it when he says that I will never see Phil and Jesse and Ape again?
I cannot do that.
I do not want to be separated from them.
It was not Phil’s fault all this happened.
Doesn’t Ville know that?
I should never have tried to run away like this.
I want to stay with Jesse..
God,what have I done?
Guilt manifests itself in my stomach making me feel sick.
I cannot just leave Jesse and Ape back at home to deal with this.
I do not even want to imagine what they must be thinking happened to me right now.
Ape must be worried sick about me.
At the time when I had ran off last night all I had wanted was to get away from Phil.
I had never thought that this strange foreign man would find me and start planning for my adoption.
I shake my head, interrupting him in mid-sentence.
“Ville..I appreciate all you have done for me.Really!But I think I need to go home now.
It is morning,Ape will be worried…”
He smiles sadly at me and his face falls slightly.
“Bam,I cannot let you go back there.I found you on the street.At night.And look at what he did to you..”
He reaches to pull up my shirt,putting down the file I had seen him reading when I had first awoken earlier.
I tense instinctively at this and try to pull back.
I know much better then him what my father has done.
I tell him that,blinking back tears as I turn and run towards the front door.
He is faster then me and grabs me,pulls me back,arms around my waist.
Even then he is gentle.
Not grabbing me too tightly as to cause me pain from the knife wound,but just enough to stop me from getting out of his grasp.
“You are staying…”
I shake my head and keep sobbing as he kneels down with me half curled up in his lap.
Words of reassurance and encouragement are whispered softly into my ear as I bob quietly into his shirt.
The tears cling to my eyelashes and make trails down my now slick cheeks as I lift my head to look at him hesitantly.
He smiles at me.
I guess I have no choice.
He really wants me to stay.
And he clearly does not want me to go back home at any rate.
So I suppose I am going to be staying here then.
That won’t be so bad.
Better then getting beaten up back at home by my own father anyway.
I can lick this.
I have been staying here for two days now.
Ville seems to be on the phone a lot.
Arguing and getting frustrated with whoever is on the other line.
I get the feeling he is talking about me.
Not that I have tried to eavesdrop or anything but I just get the feeling.
He comes over to where I am sitting on the sofa.
Kneels down to look at me face to face.
I can tell he has something bad to tell me.
He is reluctant.
He however says nothing.
Maybe he is putting off telling me whatever it is.
I have no idea what has been going on.
But my life sure has changed since he found me three nights ago.
He has brought me a whole new wardrobe which I reluctantly accepted since I had no clothes with me except the ones he found me in which were bloodstained.
He brought me heaps of stuff actually.
A skateboard,iPod,electric guitar,drumsticks,a PlayStation Portable and a cellphone.
I kept telling him that I did not need any of it.
He would not listen to me though.
I guess he does not agree with me that I am not worthy of any of this.
He has done so much for me.
Buying me all that stuff.
Taking me to the movies and then to the arcade.
I actually allowed myself to laugh and smile for the first time in years.
I actually had fun for a change.
Yet…
I feel like I am in a dream.
I know that it is only a matter of time now.
Till I awake from my slumber during which I dream of this Ville and his kindness and where I am wearing warm,dry clothes and I am bathed.
Only a matter of time till he finds me.
He always has.
Every time I have tried to run away when I was younger he always managed to find where I was.
This time won’t be any different.
It should be easy enough for him to find me if he asks around.
So I just sit here and wait.
Wait for my slumber to end and reality to come crashing down on me harshly.
Because there is just no way that I could actually be adopted by Ville.
Phil would definitely not allow it.
I know that.
Even now I am still scared to make the most of my time with him and am in denial that this is all happening.
Ville seems very protective.
Watching me all the time.
A couple of times when I have woken up he has been there.
He comforted me and told me not to worry and that everything was going to be fine.
God,I really want to believe him so fucking much!
I wonder why he is so protective of me…
He does not seem to have any children of his own that I know of.
I could be wrong though but he has never mentioned that he has any.
Or even a girlfriend.
I guess not all nineteen year olds can have girlfriends though.
But maybe she lives somewhere else with his kids.
I do not want to impose for too long.
He deserves to have a much trouble free life as possible and that is all that will happen iof I stay.
Wherever I go,Trouble follows.
And I do not mean my cat follows me around everywhere either.
I have a hunch that the trouble is because of that folder.
Ville keeps looking through it.
I am assuming that it has to do with me because everytime that I walk in the room he puts it away or closes it.
I think that it is probably my records.
He knows what my father does.
He must know about how Social Services has been to our house twice before.
I am ashamed that he knows all this.
But he keeps telling me that it is not my fault and that I am safe now.
Well,maybe it would not hurt too much to indulge and believe him…