Our Farewell - Ch 4
Title: Our Farewell
Author: annushkazhivago
Chapter Rating: PG13- NC17
Chapter: 4/12
Summary: Bam and Ville's relationship has come to an end. On the flight back to Helsinki to take Ville home, Bam recalls both the good times and the bad that led up to the tragedy that tore them apart.
Disclaimer: Completely fiction, not true, just a product of an overactive imagination.
(Previous chapters and other stories)
Our Farewell
Chapter 4
"Remember how pissed I was the next day after you finished your concert? I thought we would have some time alone, but no I had to answer my phone. Mtv wanted me to fly home to finish filming. I tried my best to get out of it, but we were already running behind and they were getting angry. Our last night together was spent drinking at the pub with your band. Neither of us wanted to go but we were forced into it." I looked at Ville and shook my head. "We still could of had some fun after we got back but someone had too much to drink and passed out," I laughed. "You were so sick the next morning but you came to the airport anyway to see me off. I thought that was sweet of you, even though I didn't get a goodbye kiss because you started vomiting and Mige hauled you off to the restroom. My plane left before you came back," I sighed and let my mind wonder back to the weeks after I had last saw Ville.
(July 2003, West Chester)
Somewhere between Turku and West Chester I managed to lose my cell phone. After I got home I tried and tried to call Ville to make sure he was alright but his cell phone was turned off. I thought about calling some of the other guys in the band but that idea came to a complete halt once I realized I only had their numbers programmed into my cell phone, and I had lost it. The only number I remembered besides Ville's cell phone was the number to his flat and there was no answer. The only logical explanation was that Ville was having second thoughts about our relationship or I had taken things too fast with him a scared him away. I mailed him a letter to apologize but he never responded. My heart broke a little more each day when I didn't hear from him. As the weeks passed I became more depressed. I was in such a foul mood no one wanted to be around me. Jenn moved out but I didn't care; I wanted her to leave. The only person I wanted to see was Ville, but he wanted nothing to do with me.
I took a break from filming Viva La Bam; Mtv can kiss my ass, they were the one's that destroyed everything for me. How can you expect someone to be funny when their heart has been ripped out of their chest? I spent the next two weeks depressed and angry. I would either sit around listening to Ville's music or watching bootlegs from his concerts. The sound of his voice always sent shivers down my spine. He haunted my dreams and every waking hour. He was always in my thoughts slowly driving me insane. I couldn't except the fact that I had lost him.
**************
"You can't do this to me!" I screamed at Ville as he walked off the stage.
"Bam don't. This already is hard enough for me." Ville turned and started to walk away.
"I won't let you leave me!" I screamed and grabbed his arm.
"Bam, stop it. It's over. I should have never got involved with you. Just go away!" The venom in his voice was betrayed by the tears forming in his eyes. He knew just as well as I did that every word he spoke was a lie. I always heard that the eyes were the windows to ones soul and when I looked into Ville's I knew that was true. The hurtful words he was speaking was not coming from his heart and there was nothing he could say to make me believe that he didn't love me.
"It's not over. It will never be over. I won't let you go!" He lowered his head and covered his face with his other hand before turning his back to me.
"Bam, please just forget about me." His voice cracked as he spoke.
"NOOOOO!" I grabbed his shoulders and turned him around to face me. "I LOVE YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?" I screamed and more tears streamed down his face.
"I don't want you to love me!" Ville cried and pushed himself out of my arms and ran out the exit.
"VILLE, DON'T GO!" I ran to the door and pushed it open. I saw Mige holding Ville in a tight protective embrace.
"Go away Bam," Mige whispered.
"Ville?" He lifted his head from Mige's shoulder and looked up at me.
"You can never be together," Mige whispered to Ville.
"I know," Ville mumbled and I felt tears threatening to spill from my eyes. 'I love you' Ville mouthed to keep Mige from hearing him.
"Ville please..." I held out my hand for him to take. He raised his hand like he was going to take it, but pulled away at the last second.
"Don't hate me." With those words Ville closed his eyes and put his head back on Mige's shoulder and they both disappeared before my eyes.
I woke up in a cold sweat. My heart was pounding and tears were streaming down my face. I couldn't understand what the dream was trying to tell me until I looked up at the tv screen. The concert was over and Mige and Ville had just walked off the stage together. "He took you away from me." I sat up in the couch and put my hand over my mouth. "How could I have been so blind? You're in love with Mige." I picked up the remote to turn off the video, but I hit the wrong button causing the video to rewind. My hands were shaking so bad I kept hitting the wrong button and finally I got mad and threw it at the tv screen. The remote broke but the video played on.
"This Life it ain't worth living..." Ville sang.
"I won't let you do this to me!" I hissed and ran out of the room. The next day I made reservations to go to Helsinki. I was not going to let Ville get away with breaking my heart. That last day we spent together was probably just an act. He wasn't drunk or sick. He just didn't want to be with me and was too scared to admit it.
Author: annushkazhivago
Chapter Rating: PG13- NC17
Chapter: 4/12
Summary: Bam and Ville's relationship has come to an end. On the flight back to Helsinki to take Ville home, Bam recalls both the good times and the bad that led up to the tragedy that tore them apart.
Disclaimer: Completely fiction, not true, just a product of an overactive imagination.
(Previous chapters and other stories)
Our Farewell
Chapter 4
"Remember how pissed I was the next day after you finished your concert? I thought we would have some time alone, but no I had to answer my phone. Mtv wanted me to fly home to finish filming. I tried my best to get out of it, but we were already running behind and they were getting angry. Our last night together was spent drinking at the pub with your band. Neither of us wanted to go but we were forced into it." I looked at Ville and shook my head. "We still could of had some fun after we got back but someone had too much to drink and passed out," I laughed. "You were so sick the next morning but you came to the airport anyway to see me off. I thought that was sweet of you, even though I didn't get a goodbye kiss because you started vomiting and Mige hauled you off to the restroom. My plane left before you came back," I sighed and let my mind wonder back to the weeks after I had last saw Ville.
(July 2003, West Chester)
Somewhere between Turku and West Chester I managed to lose my cell phone. After I got home I tried and tried to call Ville to make sure he was alright but his cell phone was turned off. I thought about calling some of the other guys in the band but that idea came to a complete halt once I realized I only had their numbers programmed into my cell phone, and I had lost it. The only number I remembered besides Ville's cell phone was the number to his flat and there was no answer. The only logical explanation was that Ville was having second thoughts about our relationship or I had taken things too fast with him a scared him away. I mailed him a letter to apologize but he never responded. My heart broke a little more each day when I didn't hear from him. As the weeks passed I became more depressed. I was in such a foul mood no one wanted to be around me. Jenn moved out but I didn't care; I wanted her to leave. The only person I wanted to see was Ville, but he wanted nothing to do with me.
I took a break from filming Viva La Bam; Mtv can kiss my ass, they were the one's that destroyed everything for me. How can you expect someone to be funny when their heart has been ripped out of their chest? I spent the next two weeks depressed and angry. I would either sit around listening to Ville's music or watching bootlegs from his concerts. The sound of his voice always sent shivers down my spine. He haunted my dreams and every waking hour. He was always in my thoughts slowly driving me insane. I couldn't except the fact that I had lost him.
**************
"You can't do this to me!" I screamed at Ville as he walked off the stage.
"Bam don't. This already is hard enough for me." Ville turned and started to walk away.
"I won't let you leave me!" I screamed and grabbed his arm.
"Bam, stop it. It's over. I should have never got involved with you. Just go away!" The venom in his voice was betrayed by the tears forming in his eyes. He knew just as well as I did that every word he spoke was a lie. I always heard that the eyes were the windows to ones soul and when I looked into Ville's I knew that was true. The hurtful words he was speaking was not coming from his heart and there was nothing he could say to make me believe that he didn't love me.
"It's not over. It will never be over. I won't let you go!" He lowered his head and covered his face with his other hand before turning his back to me.
"Bam, please just forget about me." His voice cracked as he spoke.
"NOOOOO!" I grabbed his shoulders and turned him around to face me. "I LOVE YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?" I screamed and more tears streamed down his face.
"I don't want you to love me!" Ville cried and pushed himself out of my arms and ran out the exit.
"VILLE, DON'T GO!" I ran to the door and pushed it open. I saw Mige holding Ville in a tight protective embrace.
"Go away Bam," Mige whispered.
"Ville?" He lifted his head from Mige's shoulder and looked up at me.
"You can never be together," Mige whispered to Ville.
"I know," Ville mumbled and I felt tears threatening to spill from my eyes. 'I love you' Ville mouthed to keep Mige from hearing him.
"Ville please..." I held out my hand for him to take. He raised his hand like he was going to take it, but pulled away at the last second.
"Don't hate me." With those words Ville closed his eyes and put his head back on Mige's shoulder and they both disappeared before my eyes.
I woke up in a cold sweat. My heart was pounding and tears were streaming down my face. I couldn't understand what the dream was trying to tell me until I looked up at the tv screen. The concert was over and Mige and Ville had just walked off the stage together. "He took you away from me." I sat up in the couch and put my hand over my mouth. "How could I have been so blind? You're in love with Mige." I picked up the remote to turn off the video, but I hit the wrong button causing the video to rewind. My hands were shaking so bad I kept hitting the wrong button and finally I got mad and threw it at the tv screen. The remote broke but the video played on.
"This Life it ain't worth living..." Ville sang.
"I won't let you do this to me!" I hissed and ran out of the room. The next day I made reservations to go to Helsinki. I was not going to let Ville get away with breaking my heart. That last day we spent together was probably just an act. He wasn't drunk or sick. He just didn't want to be with me and was too scared to admit it.