Awaiting
Title: All Sorrow is Joy
Chapter Two - Awaiting
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Bam and Ville. They own me.
Summary: After a harrowing accident, Ville and Bam are deserted with only each other for comfort. One's life hangs in the balance, as does the other's sanity.
Notes: *Yawn* It's only 8 o'clock and I'm already wiped. Sorry for taking a while to update. The next chapter shouldn't take as long....hopefully...
Ville awoke to see the bright sun above. Despite the cold air, he felt warm, baking in the light. His hands, though not gripping, were still around the tattooed wrist. Feeling enough energy to continue, Ville pulled again at the wrist. Slowly, Bam's body emerged through the doorway, until Ville pulled him completely out. As he lay faced down, Ville could already see the damage done to him. Blood was splattered everywhere on his back. Deep cuts with long trails of blood were still wet with crimson. Bruises ran up and down his neck and arms. Even though he was terrified to see, Ville flipped him over to see his front. A huge wave of relief crashed into his chest as he saw that Bam's front was relatively unharmed, despite a few cuts and dripping blood. Ville stared for what seemed like hours at the rising and falling of Bam's chest. To Ville, it was all he had to grip onto his sanity.
-------
"What if I stayed for a little while longer? I'd really like to stay a little more," Ville explained. He felt blood rush to his pale face. Bam's face lit up instantly.
"That sounds great!...But, what about the other band members, and Jonna, and Sep-"
"They'll understand," Ville cut him off. Bam's confused face lit up again and he laughed. Ville felt a large grin spread across his face and the two walked back to the parking lot.
-------
Ville pulled Bam’s motionless body on top of him. Bam’s head rested peacefully on the end of Ville’s ribcage. He flung the cotton blanket over them to block the cold and to heat Bam’s freezing form. Ville wrapped his arms around Bam tightly under the blanket and held his hands over Bam’s heart. The slow rhythm in his chest gave a Ville a sense of life, of peace, of hope.
Warm blood seeped into Ville’s clothing. Feeling the blood only made him squeeze Bam tighter. He could feel every beat of Bam’s heart, every breath filling his lungs. Every vital movement in his chest. Minutes turned into hours. Bam lay innocently on Ville’s chest, merely sleeping. But Ville felt his fears consume him.
-------
Ville plopped on the large bed in Bam’s castle. Breathing in the sweet fragrance of the room, relaxation swept him. Swirling in the scent of candles and cigarettes, he heard a soft tapping at the door.
“Come in,” he mumbled, still spinning in the aroma of cinnamon and smoke.
“Hey,” Bam whispered silently, walking into the room and shutting the door behind him.
“Hey,” Ville replied and sat up. Bam awkwardly sat next to him on the bed.
“I scheduled a flight for tomorrow,” Ville said finally. He knew he had to leave. There was just no way he could stay another day. Seppo would just lose it. Bam simply nodded.
“Why did you stay? You could have just taken that flight today,” he asked, curiosity high in his voice.
“Because….I didn’t want to leave you,” Ville sighed and leaned his head on Bam’s shoulder. “I want you to come with me.”
“What?”
“Come with me on tour. It’ll be great. Just you, me-”
“The band.”
“Just you and me.”
“…Just us…?”
“Just us,” Ville replied and snuggled his face into Bam’s neck. A small smile emerged on his face, and his cerulean eyes glittered with bliss.
-------
We’re fucked. Simply fucked…No one is gonna come for us… Tears streamed down Ville’s blood-stained, paper-white face. Fear had overcome everything in him. Yes, Bam was alive, but the fact only provided a little bit of comfort. He was still unconscious., and for all Ville knew, he might never wake up. They were both stranded in the middle of nowhere. Doomed, they were simply, fucking doomed.
He was drowning. In an ocean of despondency, he was drowning. There was no rope, no boats, nothing to rescue him. Just an endless, bleak ocean with strong arms pulling him under. Water-like poison filled his lungs and he felt acidic tears mixing with the poison around him. Nothing. Just nothing. No hope, no air, nothing. He struggled to breathe in hyperventilation. He felt Bam’s form rising sharply with Ville’s chest. Despite his rasping lungs, Ville didn’t even bother to think of his inhaler. It would only cause more panic if he dared to realize it was missing.
Just the fear. That damned fear. That lack of hope. The fear and the consumption. Why the flying fuck did the very notion of his helplessness calm him down? His breaths became more relaxed as he thought of death. Maybe it won’t be so bad, he thought. At least we’d be together.
Death. A sense of acceptance to Ville. He knew nothing good could come out of here. Nothing could save Bam. It was that reminiscing of all the good, all the love between them that hurt. All the joy was what dragged Ville deeper and deeper under the surface.
Just to close his eyes and give in. The sky was already darkening. Ville felt the last rays of the day, and in his sense he was saying goodbye to the sun. Holding Bam tighter, Ville closed his eyes and remembered them.
The first day they met, when he heard that some American was using their music. He remembered saying “Who the fuck is that?” How foolish…Of course that day was dulcet, from the very second he saw Bam. He was just so beautiful.
The first video they shot together. God, what the crap was Bam thinking? Since when was chrome ‘metal’? It’s fucking chrome! Every time Ville saw that chrome heartagram in Bam’s castle, he just laughed. With the chromeagram and the chipmunk version of Buried Alive By Love, he just frickin laughed.
-------
“Noon, so…..I have to get up at eleven?” Bam asked.
“No shit,” Ville snickered as Bam mouthed the word ‘fuck’. “Well, maybe you should sleep like a normal person,” Ville said, laughter barely being held back.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, normal people don’t go to bed at seven in the morning.”
“But then I couldn’t call you,” Bam replied. Ville fell silent, realizing just how much they talked on the phone while he was away.
“You sure everyone’s okay with me coming?” Bam mumbled.
“Of course, love. Why wouldn’t they be?”
“I mean…what about…”
Ville looked up to him, noticing the shy tone that was so unlike Bam.
“About…Jonna…”? he asked, innocence adorably strong in his voice.
Ville simply smiled, lessening the embarrassment in Bam’s face.
“Oh, Bam-Bam…Don’t worry about her. It’ll just be you and me,” he whispered softly, closing his eyes and leaning forward. His pale, pink lips touched Bam’s soft, warm lips. A gentle, tender kiss. A kind of kiss everyone wants to be their first. Just a perfect, rememberable kiss. No tongue, no lust, no sex. Just love and lips. Ville felt the entire ambience of the room change. Everything felt warm and sensual. Everything felt like Bam’s lips. Everything felt beautiful.
-------
The first kiss they shared. Already it was two days ago. It sure didn’t seem to be so long. But still, Ville remembered every second. Every blissful second. He never shared a kiss that tasted so pure before. Not with Jonna, not with anyone. The feeling that nothing could come between them. The feeling that gave Ville acceptance. He knew death was coming. Death was coming for the two of them. And Ville didn’t want it any other way. Bam, sweet innocent Bam, laying on him, merely dreaming. Dreaming and bleeding. He would never wake up and feel the terror. He wouldn’t have to worry or suffer. And Ville, so in love and strength failing, was at complete peace. His only regrets were making Jonna believe he loved her, and taking Bam away from the world. It did seem rather selfish, but it was beyond Ville’s control. At least Bam knew he loved him. There really were no regrets. Just acceptance and awaiting death.
“....Ville...?”
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Comment and I've give you my soul.
Chapter Two - Awaiting
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Bam and Ville. They own me.
Summary: After a harrowing accident, Ville and Bam are deserted with only each other for comfort. One's life hangs in the balance, as does the other's sanity.
Notes: *Yawn* It's only 8 o'clock and I'm already wiped. Sorry for taking a while to update. The next chapter shouldn't take as long....hopefully...
Ville awoke to see the bright sun above. Despite the cold air, he felt warm, baking in the light. His hands, though not gripping, were still around the tattooed wrist. Feeling enough energy to continue, Ville pulled again at the wrist. Slowly, Bam's body emerged through the doorway, until Ville pulled him completely out. As he lay faced down, Ville could already see the damage done to him. Blood was splattered everywhere on his back. Deep cuts with long trails of blood were still wet with crimson. Bruises ran up and down his neck and arms. Even though he was terrified to see, Ville flipped him over to see his front. A huge wave of relief crashed into his chest as he saw that Bam's front was relatively unharmed, despite a few cuts and dripping blood. Ville stared for what seemed like hours at the rising and falling of Bam's chest. To Ville, it was all he had to grip onto his sanity.
-------
"What if I stayed for a little while longer? I'd really like to stay a little more," Ville explained. He felt blood rush to his pale face. Bam's face lit up instantly.
"That sounds great!...But, what about the other band members, and Jonna, and Sep-"
"They'll understand," Ville cut him off. Bam's confused face lit up again and he laughed. Ville felt a large grin spread across his face and the two walked back to the parking lot.
-------
Ville pulled Bam’s motionless body on top of him. Bam’s head rested peacefully on the end of Ville’s ribcage. He flung the cotton blanket over them to block the cold and to heat Bam’s freezing form. Ville wrapped his arms around Bam tightly under the blanket and held his hands over Bam’s heart. The slow rhythm in his chest gave a Ville a sense of life, of peace, of hope.
Warm blood seeped into Ville’s clothing. Feeling the blood only made him squeeze Bam tighter. He could feel every beat of Bam’s heart, every breath filling his lungs. Every vital movement in his chest. Minutes turned into hours. Bam lay innocently on Ville’s chest, merely sleeping. But Ville felt his fears consume him.
-------
Ville plopped on the large bed in Bam’s castle. Breathing in the sweet fragrance of the room, relaxation swept him. Swirling in the scent of candles and cigarettes, he heard a soft tapping at the door.
“Come in,” he mumbled, still spinning in the aroma of cinnamon and smoke.
“Hey,” Bam whispered silently, walking into the room and shutting the door behind him.
“Hey,” Ville replied and sat up. Bam awkwardly sat next to him on the bed.
“I scheduled a flight for tomorrow,” Ville said finally. He knew he had to leave. There was just no way he could stay another day. Seppo would just lose it. Bam simply nodded.
“Why did you stay? You could have just taken that flight today,” he asked, curiosity high in his voice.
“Because….I didn’t want to leave you,” Ville sighed and leaned his head on Bam’s shoulder. “I want you to come with me.”
“What?”
“Come with me on tour. It’ll be great. Just you, me-”
“The band.”
“Just you and me.”
“…Just us…?”
“Just us,” Ville replied and snuggled his face into Bam’s neck. A small smile emerged on his face, and his cerulean eyes glittered with bliss.
-------
We’re fucked. Simply fucked…No one is gonna come for us… Tears streamed down Ville’s blood-stained, paper-white face. Fear had overcome everything in him. Yes, Bam was alive, but the fact only provided a little bit of comfort. He was still unconscious., and for all Ville knew, he might never wake up. They were both stranded in the middle of nowhere. Doomed, they were simply, fucking doomed.
He was drowning. In an ocean of despondency, he was drowning. There was no rope, no boats, nothing to rescue him. Just an endless, bleak ocean with strong arms pulling him under. Water-like poison filled his lungs and he felt acidic tears mixing with the poison around him. Nothing. Just nothing. No hope, no air, nothing. He struggled to breathe in hyperventilation. He felt Bam’s form rising sharply with Ville’s chest. Despite his rasping lungs, Ville didn’t even bother to think of his inhaler. It would only cause more panic if he dared to realize it was missing.
Just the fear. That damned fear. That lack of hope. The fear and the consumption. Why the flying fuck did the very notion of his helplessness calm him down? His breaths became more relaxed as he thought of death. Maybe it won’t be so bad, he thought. At least we’d be together.
Death. A sense of acceptance to Ville. He knew nothing good could come out of here. Nothing could save Bam. It was that reminiscing of all the good, all the love between them that hurt. All the joy was what dragged Ville deeper and deeper under the surface.
Just to close his eyes and give in. The sky was already darkening. Ville felt the last rays of the day, and in his sense he was saying goodbye to the sun. Holding Bam tighter, Ville closed his eyes and remembered them.
The first day they met, when he heard that some American was using their music. He remembered saying “Who the fuck is that?” How foolish…Of course that day was dulcet, from the very second he saw Bam. He was just so beautiful.
The first video they shot together. God, what the crap was Bam thinking? Since when was chrome ‘metal’? It’s fucking chrome! Every time Ville saw that chrome heartagram in Bam’s castle, he just laughed. With the chromeagram and the chipmunk version of Buried Alive By Love, he just frickin laughed.
-------
“Noon, so…..I have to get up at eleven?” Bam asked.
“No shit,” Ville snickered as Bam mouthed the word ‘fuck’. “Well, maybe you should sleep like a normal person,” Ville said, laughter barely being held back.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, normal people don’t go to bed at seven in the morning.”
“But then I couldn’t call you,” Bam replied. Ville fell silent, realizing just how much they talked on the phone while he was away.
“You sure everyone’s okay with me coming?” Bam mumbled.
“Of course, love. Why wouldn’t they be?”
“I mean…what about…”
Ville looked up to him, noticing the shy tone that was so unlike Bam.
“About…Jonna…”? he asked, innocence adorably strong in his voice.
Ville simply smiled, lessening the embarrassment in Bam’s face.
“Oh, Bam-Bam…Don’t worry about her. It’ll just be you and me,” he whispered softly, closing his eyes and leaning forward. His pale, pink lips touched Bam’s soft, warm lips. A gentle, tender kiss. A kind of kiss everyone wants to be their first. Just a perfect, rememberable kiss. No tongue, no lust, no sex. Just love and lips. Ville felt the entire ambience of the room change. Everything felt warm and sensual. Everything felt like Bam’s lips. Everything felt beautiful.
-------
The first kiss they shared. Already it was two days ago. It sure didn’t seem to be so long. But still, Ville remembered every second. Every blissful second. He never shared a kiss that tasted so pure before. Not with Jonna, not with anyone. The feeling that nothing could come between them. The feeling that gave Ville acceptance. He knew death was coming. Death was coming for the two of them. And Ville didn’t want it any other way. Bam, sweet innocent Bam, laying on him, merely dreaming. Dreaming and bleeding. He would never wake up and feel the terror. He wouldn’t have to worry or suffer. And Ville, so in love and strength failing, was at complete peace. His only regrets were making Jonna believe he loved her, and taking Bam away from the world. It did seem rather selfish, but it was beyond Ville’s control. At least Bam knew he loved him. There really were no regrets. Just acceptance and awaiting death.
“....Ville...?”
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Comment and I've give you my soul.