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Cry - Part Three
Title: Cry - Memories
Rating: R.
Pairing: Vam. Suggested Jonna/Ville, Missy/Bam.
Summary: After the accident Bam doesn't know how to cry. Maybe his angel will have to teach him.
Disclaimer: I don't own this, and it's really not true. -Pokes Ville- Looooook, living... -bitten- AND SHARP O.O
Authors note: I‘ve gotten over my manic depression and it shows by the crapness of this….Oh, and I lost the other parts O.O -sad- The layout’s fuckin’ up, dude! And yeah... I'm sorry this took forever... I died for a while ><
Part One.
Memories sharp as daggers, pierce into the flesh of today, a suicide of love takes away all that matters, and buries the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart…
He didn’t cry when he realised he couldn’t leave the hospital and go back to his own home. When he realised that his entire castle was a shrine to a singerless band. He didn’t cry when he longed to go to his own home, to his own bed, but knew, just knew that it would hurt too much. Be too painful.
Memories lingered in every corner of that place. Pictures and music and scents and sounds and everything.
A first kiss on a balcony.
A second kiss by a swimming pool.
A third on the kitchen table.
He didn’t cry when these memories came back to him in a flood of light a colour, washing around his brain, dragging him down and trying to drown him. At least he wanted to cry when he remembered but couldn’t feel.
Before he couldn’t feel the pain, the grief. There was only darkness and numbness and cold. But now he couldn’t feel anything. Not even the rush of warmth that came with the memories of his friend.
Now they were just thoughts lingering through his head. Pictures. A dazzling smile. Bright green eyes. The softest lips.
And even those were fading. He had spent months away from Ville in the past, but now, just two weeks after he had stood by the Finnish grave, the memories seemed to have died along with the green eyed man in them.
Two weeks.
Two weeks of not being held.
Fourteen days of no stolen kisses.
Three hundred and thirty six hours of no warmth. No light. No rest. Nothing. His heart had gone. Carried away in the hands of the man who held it when he left.
20,162 minutes of no tears and no grief and no love and no nothing. For Bam truly had nothing. He didn’t even have a pain to tell him it was real.
He didn’t cry as he stood in Ryan Dunn’s shower, water dripping down his body, just staring at the ink marking his skin for an eternity, the twins of designs buried six feet under. Something that had forever, and would forever mark him as Ville’s.
Still the tears wouldn’t come, even as he remembered tracing the same tattoo on a body very different to his with his fingertips. Remembered smiling as the ticklish man giggled.
That giggle rung through his ears as though it were right behind him, but he didn’t turn, didn’t even move as droplets trickled down his cheeks, the saltless water having to supplement the tears he couldn’t produce himself.
He still hadn’t cried as he walked down the road the same day, his blonde friend close to his side, whispering for him to ignore the sympathetic stares and whispers he didn’t even notice. He didn’t care. All the sympathy in the world couldn’t disturb the peace settling like concrete within him.
So he walked down the familiar road and into a familiar shop, shocking a familiar salesperson with a smile as he stopped at a familiar shelf. He spied a familiar title and picked it up without hesitation.
He flicked through it lazily before his eyes settled on a small but familiar picture.
A familiar name.
And then he choked.
Because he felt. Because he hurt. Because it stung and burned… and he couldn’t cope. His head swam and he almost couldn’t finish the tiny square of article before the magazine dropped from his hands, the sound of it fluttering to the linoleum missed by his ears.
Jonna Nygren, the fiance of deceased HIM vocalist Ville Valo, has announced she is pregnant with his child. We only hope that this brings her some comfort, knowing a piece of the talented artist lives on. Our best wishes go out to both mother and child.
Rating: R.
Pairing: Vam. Suggested Jonna/Ville, Missy/Bam.
Summary: After the accident Bam doesn't know how to cry. Maybe his angel will have to teach him.
Disclaimer: I don't own this, and it's really not true. -Pokes Ville- Looooook, living... -bitten- AND SHARP O.O
Authors note: I‘ve gotten over my manic depression and it shows by the crapness of this….Oh, and I lost the other parts O.O -sad- The layout’s fuckin’ up, dude! And yeah... I'm sorry this took forever... I died for a while ><
Part One.
Memories sharp as daggers, pierce into the flesh of today, a suicide of love takes away all that matters, and buries the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart…
He didn’t cry when he realised he couldn’t leave the hospital and go back to his own home. When he realised that his entire castle was a shrine to a singerless band. He didn’t cry when he longed to go to his own home, to his own bed, but knew, just knew that it would hurt too much. Be too painful.
Memories lingered in every corner of that place. Pictures and music and scents and sounds and everything.
A first kiss on a balcony.
A second kiss by a swimming pool.
A third on the kitchen table.
He didn’t cry when these memories came back to him in a flood of light a colour, washing around his brain, dragging him down and trying to drown him. At least he wanted to cry when he remembered but couldn’t feel.
Before he couldn’t feel the pain, the grief. There was only darkness and numbness and cold. But now he couldn’t feel anything. Not even the rush of warmth that came with the memories of his friend.
Now they were just thoughts lingering through his head. Pictures. A dazzling smile. Bright green eyes. The softest lips.
And even those were fading. He had spent months away from Ville in the past, but now, just two weeks after he had stood by the Finnish grave, the memories seemed to have died along with the green eyed man in them.
Two weeks.
Two weeks of not being held.
Fourteen days of no stolen kisses.
Three hundred and thirty six hours of no warmth. No light. No rest. Nothing. His heart had gone. Carried away in the hands of the man who held it when he left.
20,162 minutes of no tears and no grief and no love and no nothing. For Bam truly had nothing. He didn’t even have a pain to tell him it was real.
He didn’t cry as he stood in Ryan Dunn’s shower, water dripping down his body, just staring at the ink marking his skin for an eternity, the twins of designs buried six feet under. Something that had forever, and would forever mark him as Ville’s.
Still the tears wouldn’t come, even as he remembered tracing the same tattoo on a body very different to his with his fingertips. Remembered smiling as the ticklish man giggled.
That giggle rung through his ears as though it were right behind him, but he didn’t turn, didn’t even move as droplets trickled down his cheeks, the saltless water having to supplement the tears he couldn’t produce himself.
He still hadn’t cried as he walked down the road the same day, his blonde friend close to his side, whispering for him to ignore the sympathetic stares and whispers he didn’t even notice. He didn’t care. All the sympathy in the world couldn’t disturb the peace settling like concrete within him.
So he walked down the familiar road and into a familiar shop, shocking a familiar salesperson with a smile as he stopped at a familiar shelf. He spied a familiar title and picked it up without hesitation.
He flicked through it lazily before his eyes settled on a small but familiar picture.
A familiar name.
And then he choked.
Because he felt. Because he hurt. Because it stung and burned… and he couldn’t cope. His head swam and he almost couldn’t finish the tiny square of article before the magazine dropped from his hands, the sound of it fluttering to the linoleum missed by his ears.
Jonna Nygren, the fiance of deceased HIM vocalist Ville Valo, has announced she is pregnant with his child. We only hope that this brings her some comfort, knowing a piece of the talented artist lives on. Our best wishes go out to both mother and child.