Caught Here In A Fiery Blaze....
UH HUT! It's me. So I didn't think i'd be posting anything until after monday because of my ass kicking project..but i got three of the five sources i needed done earlier..so i figure i'll finish on Sunday...so...i'll be good....so...another chapter of my craptastic story! Uh Hut!
It's a Hardknock Life,
Vam
Pg15-ish
Standard Disclaimer Applies.
Links behind the cut.
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1457021.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1464287.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1473347.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1477266.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1504556.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1520450.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1524220.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1534010.html#cutid1
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Someone was beside him, he could tell. Opening his eyes, he saw a gas light was left dim beside his bed. Beside that was someone in a chair, staring at him. Green eyes bore into his, as if they were looking straight into his soul.
“Ville.” He breathed, his lips curling at the corners.
“How are you feeling?” Ville asked softly.
“I’ve been worse. Was there a doctor here earlier?” Ville nodded and Bam sat up. “Did he examine me?” Ville only nodded again. “Damn. Damn. Damn! Do you know what this means?”
“It means you aren’t well and you have been neglected and abused. Something I would used to have thought you were deserving of. But that’s my own ignorance. I’m sorry I judged you before I knew you Bam. No one deserves what’s happened to you.”
“You rich people are all the same. You don’t know what it’s like to live like I have Ville. You can say you’re sorry, but you’ll never know. You’ll never know what it’s like to have someone you trust....f-f- force themself on you. You’ll never know what it’s like to have your stomach clenched in hunger pains. You’ll never know what it’s like to bleed for something you haven’t done, or don’t believe in. You’ll never know what it’s like to go to sleep three in a bed, just because there’s no other way to get warm.” Bam’s voice cracked with tears. His hands clenched the fluffy blanket that he would miss so much when he was gone from this place.
“Bam..I...” Ville started but his voice failed him.
“You’ll always have everything you could ever want. You’ll never be cold. You’ll never be hungry. You can’t even try to begin to apologize for the shitty life I’ve had. It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault but my own.” Hot salty tears fell from his eyes. His head was light and he felt like he was going to be sick.
“You’ll never know what it’s like to have to lie to someone that’s like your little brother, and tell them that there are parents out there for him. That there are people who want him. Let’s face it. No one really wants an orphan. Not even a little one like Ryan.” His stomach churned and he grabbed the wastebasket near the bed. Heaving whatever he’d eaten, up. He choked and coughed and heaved again. Someone pushed back his hair and pressed a cool cloth to his face. Wiping gently at his mouth.
“It’s not your fault you’re an orphan Bam. It’s not your fault that any of those things happened to you.” Ville whispered and pulled Bam close to his body. He was shaking so badly, he was happy that Ville was there, even though he wanted to be angry with him. Ville rubbed his shoulders and hummed to him softly.
“You think you’re finished with this?” Ville gestured towards the wastebasket and Bam nodded. The older boy placed it on the floor and climbed into the bed next to Bam. The orphan just looked at him.
“Why are you doing this?”
“You’re sick, and we’re friends, lay back Bammie. I’ll take care of you.” Bammie? Since when did he call him Bammie? Ville’s arms pulled him back and he went. Curling up snug to Ville’s side Bam rested his head in the crook of Ville’s shoulder. All was silent, save for Ville’s humming. It comforted Bam and he lulled to sleep, with Ville’s low hums and his hand rubbing circles on his back.
He wished that Bam was wrong, but Ville knew that he was all too right. He would never know what Bam had been through and he didn’t ever want to know. He would never want to lie to Jesse, and would never want to know what it would be like without his parents. Right now, though, holding Bam close, Ville hated himself more than ever. He hated himself for what he used to think. How could he have been so naive? He didn’t understand anything about the life that Bam had led, that all orphans had led.
How idiotic of him, how insensitive, how...inhuman. He sighed and looked at Bam. He clutched at Ville’s shirt and mumbled slightly in his sleep. He was simply stunning and had they not ran into each other that day, Bam wouldn’t be there.
‘Destiny’ he thought, looking back down on Bam. He had such a wonderful facade. How could he pretend so well. Pretend that everything was alright, when he knew he would be returning to that horrible place? Sighing, Ville leaned his head back on the headboard and closed his eyes. Sleep now, think later, a wonderful philosophy.
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yes well...it's like that isn't it?
Comments Are Recommended.
This Is Fizzy, Signing Off, Saying Goodnight and Good Luck.
It's a Hardknock Life,
Vam
Pg15-ish
Standard Disclaimer Applies.
Links behind the cut.
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1457021.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1464287.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1473347.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1477266.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1504556.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1520450.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1524220.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1534010.html#cutid1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Someone was beside him, he could tell. Opening his eyes, he saw a gas light was left dim beside his bed. Beside that was someone in a chair, staring at him. Green eyes bore into his, as if they were looking straight into his soul.
“Ville.” He breathed, his lips curling at the corners.
“How are you feeling?” Ville asked softly.
“I’ve been worse. Was there a doctor here earlier?” Ville nodded and Bam sat up. “Did he examine me?” Ville only nodded again. “Damn. Damn. Damn! Do you know what this means?”
“It means you aren’t well and you have been neglected and abused. Something I would used to have thought you were deserving of. But that’s my own ignorance. I’m sorry I judged you before I knew you Bam. No one deserves what’s happened to you.”
“You rich people are all the same. You don’t know what it’s like to live like I have Ville. You can say you’re sorry, but you’ll never know. You’ll never know what it’s like to have someone you trust....f-f- force themself on you. You’ll never know what it’s like to have your stomach clenched in hunger pains. You’ll never know what it’s like to bleed for something you haven’t done, or don’t believe in. You’ll never know what it’s like to go to sleep three in a bed, just because there’s no other way to get warm.” Bam’s voice cracked with tears. His hands clenched the fluffy blanket that he would miss so much when he was gone from this place.
“Bam..I...” Ville started but his voice failed him.
“You’ll always have everything you could ever want. You’ll never be cold. You’ll never be hungry. You can’t even try to begin to apologize for the shitty life I’ve had. It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault but my own.” Hot salty tears fell from his eyes. His head was light and he felt like he was going to be sick.
“You’ll never know what it’s like to have to lie to someone that’s like your little brother, and tell them that there are parents out there for him. That there are people who want him. Let’s face it. No one really wants an orphan. Not even a little one like Ryan.” His stomach churned and he grabbed the wastebasket near the bed. Heaving whatever he’d eaten, up. He choked and coughed and heaved again. Someone pushed back his hair and pressed a cool cloth to his face. Wiping gently at his mouth.
“It’s not your fault you’re an orphan Bam. It’s not your fault that any of those things happened to you.” Ville whispered and pulled Bam close to his body. He was shaking so badly, he was happy that Ville was there, even though he wanted to be angry with him. Ville rubbed his shoulders and hummed to him softly.
“You think you’re finished with this?” Ville gestured towards the wastebasket and Bam nodded. The older boy placed it on the floor and climbed into the bed next to Bam. The orphan just looked at him.
“Why are you doing this?”
“You’re sick, and we’re friends, lay back Bammie. I’ll take care of you.” Bammie? Since when did he call him Bammie? Ville’s arms pulled him back and he went. Curling up snug to Ville’s side Bam rested his head in the crook of Ville’s shoulder. All was silent, save for Ville’s humming. It comforted Bam and he lulled to sleep, with Ville’s low hums and his hand rubbing circles on his back.
He wished that Bam was wrong, but Ville knew that he was all too right. He would never know what Bam had been through and he didn’t ever want to know. He would never want to lie to Jesse, and would never want to know what it would be like without his parents. Right now, though, holding Bam close, Ville hated himself more than ever. He hated himself for what he used to think. How could he have been so naive? He didn’t understand anything about the life that Bam had led, that all orphans had led.
How idiotic of him, how insensitive, how...inhuman. He sighed and looked at Bam. He clutched at Ville’s shirt and mumbled slightly in his sleep. He was simply stunning and had they not ran into each other that day, Bam wouldn’t be there.
‘Destiny’ he thought, looking back down on Bam. He had such a wonderful facade. How could he pretend so well. Pretend that everything was alright, when he knew he would be returning to that horrible place? Sighing, Ville leaned his head back on the headboard and closed his eyes. Sleep now, think later, a wonderful philosophy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
yes well...it's like that isn't it?
Comments Are Recommended.
This Is Fizzy, Signing Off, Saying Goodnight and Good Luck.