vagueangel
in
__vam
(no subject)
Summary- Bam's known for a while that Ville has a little.. problem. But what happens when it starts getting out of control?
Rating- Mostly PG-13, but since it's me, there are NC-17 bits thrown in.
Caution- This is a bloody long story.
Right then... onward
Okay, I know.. I'm horrible. No updates yesterday... No links today.. I suck. You may beat me if you wish. I'll promist to try not to enjoy it. ;) *thumps head on desk* I almost posted Ch 25 instead... It's such a Monday.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ville stood in the bathroom, razor in hand, staring into the mirror. He tilted his head from side to side, studying his jaw. Frowning just a bit, he rubbed at the day’s worth of stubble there.
Barging into the bathroom, Bam grinned wide. “How much do you love me?”
“I want to grow a goatee.”
Bam paused, then shook his head. “Very, very bad idea. Ville, how much do you love me?”
Pouting a bit, Ville returned to looking in the mirror. “You don’t think it would look good?”
“I think you’d look like Colonel Sanders.” Bam smirked, then grabbed his lover’s wrist impatiently. “I’m asking you right now, how much do you love me?”
“A little less than I did before the Colonel Sanders remark…”
Rolling his eyes, Bam continued to smile. “Guess who’s coming to visit next week.”
“I’ve no idea darling.” Ville went back to shaving, giving up on his goatee idea for the moment.
“Mige!”
Staring at Bam in the mirror, Ville shook his head. “No. No, I don’t want anyone here but you.” He rinsed his face, setting the razor aside. “I’m not putting on a show for anyone.”
In shock, Bam was at a loss for words for a minute. “But… It’s not anyone, baby, it’s Mige.” He stepped forward to wrap his arms around Ville’s waist, hooking his chin over one thin shoulder.
Ville smiled a bit at their reflection, unable to help himself. “I love how we look together. We haven’t got enough pictures of us without being piss drunk or making silly faces. We should take some.”
“Don’t change the subject,” Bam said, a bit cross. “I thought you’d be missing Mige and all them by now. I already bought the ticket and invited him out.” He frowned a little as Ville pulled away from him.
“Well, uninvite him. You can get a refund, I’m sure. Or I’ll pay for the bloody ticket myself.” Ville moved into the bedroom, tugging on jeans and his battered CKY hoodie.
“It’s not like he hasn’t seen-“
“That’s not the point.” Ville frowned, grabbing his cigarettes and heading downstairs. “I don’t want him to see it again. Fucking hell, Bam, I don’t want you to see it again!”
Bam stopped, watching his boyfriend walk outside, slamming the sliding door shut hard enough to make it shudder in its frame. He sighed, wondering at his newfound talent for pissing Ville off. Giving them both a little time to cool down, Bam was about to go outside to apologize.
Slipping inside, Ville reached out for Bam’s hand, eyes on the floor. “I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He flicked his eyes up to Bam quickly, then looked back down. “This is just getting more and more difficult-“
“Don’t, babe. I shoulda asked you first.” Bam gave his hand a squeeze, then tipped his chin up to see his face. “Mige will understand; I’ll call him later.” He wrapped his arms around Ville, pulling him close.
Ville sighed, leaning against his lover. “No, I will. I’ll just tell him I’m being a great stroppy cow and not worth visiting at the moment.” He pressed his face to Bam’s neck. “It’s just all this stupid shit, and what you said happened with your mother… And don’t think I don’t realize you aren’t telling me everything.”
“It’s not worth repeating,” Bam insisted, knowing Ville would be crushed if he knew the exact words April had said. “Tomorrow after your appointment, let’s stay in the city. Do some touristy shit, go drinking? Anything you wanna do.”
“Even a museum?” Ville laughed as Bam nodded, visibly fighting the urge to make a face or groan. “No, it’s alright, Bammie. The things I’d want to see would bore the hell out of you.”
“Like what?”
“Well, the Museum of Modern Art, for one. The Cathedral of St. John the Divine-“
“Who?”
“It’s the world’s largest gothic cathedral. It’s unfinished, but there’s tapestries designed by Raphael, and-“
Bam cut him off with a swift kiss. “So, we’ll go see it. And your museum, too. I can put up with being bored for an afternoon, if it’ll make you happy.” He grinned as Ville threw his arms around his neck, kissing him soundly.
“You’re wonderful to me.” Ville kept his arms tight around Bam. “We’ll just hit the highlights, Bam, I promise. I won’t make you stay long.” A sly smile tugged at his lips. “There is one museum I think you’d love…”
“I seriously doubt it.”
“Tell me you wouldn’t love the Museum of Sex.” Smiling wider as Bam’s face lit up, he pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “If I get to do museums and stuff tomorrow, why don’t we take you skating today?”
Grinning, Bam nodded. “You don’t mind hanging out at the skate park for a while?” He saw Ville shake his head and immediately ran for his deck. Dragging his boyfriend outside to the Hummer, he practically stuffed him in the car.
The next day, Ville sat in the doctor’s office, smoking a cigarette. “I did think about it. I just can’t think of anything awful that happened to me when I was small.”
Dr. Jackson looked over his notes. “Tell me about the night your brother was born. You said it was late, so you were sleeping. You woke up with nightmares..?”
Looking at him a bit blankly, Ville shrugged. “If I told you about it, why do I have to tell you again?”
“Do you remember telling me?”
Ville shook his head once, looking down at his hands. “Can’t Bam be here?” he asked, muttering.
“I’d like you to try to do this on your own.” Jackson watched Ville sigh and look out the window. “You’re lucky, Ville. You’ve found your trigger fairly quickly. I know you aren’t convinced of it just yet, but I am. Just walk me through that night.”
Sighing again, Ville put his cigarette out and pulled his legs under him to sit Indian style. “I had a bad dream, and it woke me up. I called for my mama for.. I don’t know, but it felt like quite a long time. I was afraid to get out of bed-“
“Why?”
Annoyed, Ville lit another cigarette. “Because I was seven. I thought whatever lived under my bed would grab my ankles and drag me under, most likely. How the hell should I know?” He shifted on the couch, unconsciously scratching at one arm. “Anyway, I finally got up to my parents’ room.
“Obviously, they weren’t there, and I got even more frightened. I guess they had called my aunt to come watch me, but she hadn’t got there yet. I remember it was quite dark, and that the normal night sounds in the flat seemed.. I don’t know, scarier.”
Jackson nodded, motioning for him to continue.
“It took my aunt a while to get there; I’m not sure how long. But it felt like I was by myself for a very long time.” Ville paused, smoking quietly for a few moments. “I thought they left me, I guess. I thought my parents up and moved in the middle of the night, and left me behind.”
“That sounds like a very scary thought for a child.” Jackson ignored the dirty look he received in response, getting up to open another window in the office. “What happened when your aunt got there?”
Shrugging, Ville started to pick at his shoelace. “She told me that they had to take my mama to hospital, and when they came back, I would have a little brother.” He looked up for a second, frowning a bit. “They didn’t let small children in the hospital. Not unless someone was dying. My aunt stayed with me for two days until my mama and daddy came home. With Jesse.”
“And how were things after that?”
Gaze dropping again, Ville took a long drag from his cigarette, resting his chin on one knee. “Normal, I guess. They were busy with Jess. I remember he used to cry a lot. It was hard to get enough sleep. Maybe they didn’t have as much time for me, but that’s what happens.”
Jackson nodded a bit when Ville looked up at him, making a note on his pad. “Were you jealous?
Ville shrugged again, uncomfortable this time. “A little, maybe. But most children are jealous of a new baby.” He looked at the clock. “We’ve only got five minutes left. I’m tired. Can’t we stop early?”
Letting out a sigh of his own, Jackson nodded. “Alright. But Ville, I don’t want you to think this is a betrayal of your parents or your brother. You can love them and still have felt jealous and hurt. Like you said, that’s normal for children. I think it would be beneficial to you to really explore this a bit.”
Nodding shortly, Ville stood and stuffed his cigarettes into his pockets. He walked into the waiting room and immediately took Bam’s hand, still upset by the whole idea that his brother’s birth might be the cause of his problem. “Can we go, sweetheart? I need a drink.”
Bam looked him over quickly, then nodded. “Sure, babe.” He scribbled out a cheque and let Ville drag him out of the building. “How did it go?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Rating- Mostly PG-13, but since it's me, there are NC-17 bits thrown in.
Caution- This is a bloody long story.
Right then... onward
Okay, I know.. I'm horrible. No updates yesterday... No links today.. I suck. You may beat me if you wish. I'll promist to try not to enjoy it. ;) *thumps head on desk* I almost posted Ch 25 instead... It's such a Monday.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ville stood in the bathroom, razor in hand, staring into the mirror. He tilted his head from side to side, studying his jaw. Frowning just a bit, he rubbed at the day’s worth of stubble there.
Barging into the bathroom, Bam grinned wide. “How much do you love me?”
“I want to grow a goatee.”
Bam paused, then shook his head. “Very, very bad idea. Ville, how much do you love me?”
Pouting a bit, Ville returned to looking in the mirror. “You don’t think it would look good?”
“I think you’d look like Colonel Sanders.” Bam smirked, then grabbed his lover’s wrist impatiently. “I’m asking you right now, how much do you love me?”
“A little less than I did before the Colonel Sanders remark…”
Rolling his eyes, Bam continued to smile. “Guess who’s coming to visit next week.”
“I’ve no idea darling.” Ville went back to shaving, giving up on his goatee idea for the moment.
“Mige!”
Staring at Bam in the mirror, Ville shook his head. “No. No, I don’t want anyone here but you.” He rinsed his face, setting the razor aside. “I’m not putting on a show for anyone.”
In shock, Bam was at a loss for words for a minute. “But… It’s not anyone, baby, it’s Mige.” He stepped forward to wrap his arms around Ville’s waist, hooking his chin over one thin shoulder.
Ville smiled a bit at their reflection, unable to help himself. “I love how we look together. We haven’t got enough pictures of us without being piss drunk or making silly faces. We should take some.”
“Don’t change the subject,” Bam said, a bit cross. “I thought you’d be missing Mige and all them by now. I already bought the ticket and invited him out.” He frowned a little as Ville pulled away from him.
“Well, uninvite him. You can get a refund, I’m sure. Or I’ll pay for the bloody ticket myself.” Ville moved into the bedroom, tugging on jeans and his battered CKY hoodie.
“It’s not like he hasn’t seen-“
“That’s not the point.” Ville frowned, grabbing his cigarettes and heading downstairs. “I don’t want him to see it again. Fucking hell, Bam, I don’t want you to see it again!”
Bam stopped, watching his boyfriend walk outside, slamming the sliding door shut hard enough to make it shudder in its frame. He sighed, wondering at his newfound talent for pissing Ville off. Giving them both a little time to cool down, Bam was about to go outside to apologize.
Slipping inside, Ville reached out for Bam’s hand, eyes on the floor. “I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He flicked his eyes up to Bam quickly, then looked back down. “This is just getting more and more difficult-“
“Don’t, babe. I shoulda asked you first.” Bam gave his hand a squeeze, then tipped his chin up to see his face. “Mige will understand; I’ll call him later.” He wrapped his arms around Ville, pulling him close.
Ville sighed, leaning against his lover. “No, I will. I’ll just tell him I’m being a great stroppy cow and not worth visiting at the moment.” He pressed his face to Bam’s neck. “It’s just all this stupid shit, and what you said happened with your mother… And don’t think I don’t realize you aren’t telling me everything.”
“It’s not worth repeating,” Bam insisted, knowing Ville would be crushed if he knew the exact words April had said. “Tomorrow after your appointment, let’s stay in the city. Do some touristy shit, go drinking? Anything you wanna do.”
“Even a museum?” Ville laughed as Bam nodded, visibly fighting the urge to make a face or groan. “No, it’s alright, Bammie. The things I’d want to see would bore the hell out of you.”
“Like what?”
“Well, the Museum of Modern Art, for one. The Cathedral of St. John the Divine-“
“Who?”
“It’s the world’s largest gothic cathedral. It’s unfinished, but there’s tapestries designed by Raphael, and-“
Bam cut him off with a swift kiss. “So, we’ll go see it. And your museum, too. I can put up with being bored for an afternoon, if it’ll make you happy.” He grinned as Ville threw his arms around his neck, kissing him soundly.
“You’re wonderful to me.” Ville kept his arms tight around Bam. “We’ll just hit the highlights, Bam, I promise. I won’t make you stay long.” A sly smile tugged at his lips. “There is one museum I think you’d love…”
“I seriously doubt it.”
“Tell me you wouldn’t love the Museum of Sex.” Smiling wider as Bam’s face lit up, he pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “If I get to do museums and stuff tomorrow, why don’t we take you skating today?”
Grinning, Bam nodded. “You don’t mind hanging out at the skate park for a while?” He saw Ville shake his head and immediately ran for his deck. Dragging his boyfriend outside to the Hummer, he practically stuffed him in the car.
The next day, Ville sat in the doctor’s office, smoking a cigarette. “I did think about it. I just can’t think of anything awful that happened to me when I was small.”
Dr. Jackson looked over his notes. “Tell me about the night your brother was born. You said it was late, so you were sleeping. You woke up with nightmares..?”
Looking at him a bit blankly, Ville shrugged. “If I told you about it, why do I have to tell you again?”
“Do you remember telling me?”
Ville shook his head once, looking down at his hands. “Can’t Bam be here?” he asked, muttering.
“I’d like you to try to do this on your own.” Jackson watched Ville sigh and look out the window. “You’re lucky, Ville. You’ve found your trigger fairly quickly. I know you aren’t convinced of it just yet, but I am. Just walk me through that night.”
Sighing again, Ville put his cigarette out and pulled his legs under him to sit Indian style. “I had a bad dream, and it woke me up. I called for my mama for.. I don’t know, but it felt like quite a long time. I was afraid to get out of bed-“
“Why?”
Annoyed, Ville lit another cigarette. “Because I was seven. I thought whatever lived under my bed would grab my ankles and drag me under, most likely. How the hell should I know?” He shifted on the couch, unconsciously scratching at one arm. “Anyway, I finally got up to my parents’ room.
“Obviously, they weren’t there, and I got even more frightened. I guess they had called my aunt to come watch me, but she hadn’t got there yet. I remember it was quite dark, and that the normal night sounds in the flat seemed.. I don’t know, scarier.”
Jackson nodded, motioning for him to continue.
“It took my aunt a while to get there; I’m not sure how long. But it felt like I was by myself for a very long time.” Ville paused, smoking quietly for a few moments. “I thought they left me, I guess. I thought my parents up and moved in the middle of the night, and left me behind.”
“That sounds like a very scary thought for a child.” Jackson ignored the dirty look he received in response, getting up to open another window in the office. “What happened when your aunt got there?”
Shrugging, Ville started to pick at his shoelace. “She told me that they had to take my mama to hospital, and when they came back, I would have a little brother.” He looked up for a second, frowning a bit. “They didn’t let small children in the hospital. Not unless someone was dying. My aunt stayed with me for two days until my mama and daddy came home. With Jesse.”
“And how were things after that?”
Gaze dropping again, Ville took a long drag from his cigarette, resting his chin on one knee. “Normal, I guess. They were busy with Jess. I remember he used to cry a lot. It was hard to get enough sleep. Maybe they didn’t have as much time for me, but that’s what happens.”
Jackson nodded a bit when Ville looked up at him, making a note on his pad. “Were you jealous?
Ville shrugged again, uncomfortable this time. “A little, maybe. But most children are jealous of a new baby.” He looked at the clock. “We’ve only got five minutes left. I’m tired. Can’t we stop early?”
Letting out a sigh of his own, Jackson nodded. “Alright. But Ville, I don’t want you to think this is a betrayal of your parents or your brother. You can love them and still have felt jealous and hurt. Like you said, that’s normal for children. I think it would be beneficial to you to really explore this a bit.”
Nodding shortly, Ville stood and stuffed his cigarettes into his pockets. He walked into the waiting room and immediately took Bam’s hand, still upset by the whole idea that his brother’s birth might be the cause of his problem. “Can we go, sweetheart? I need a drink.”
Bam looked him over quickly, then nodded. “Sure, babe.” He scribbled out a cheque and let Ville drag him out of the building. “How did it go?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”