xemoxomegax
in
__vam
(no subject)
Title: Growing On Me
Pairing: ... the owl and the pussycat? Vam damnit Vam!!
Rating: PG-13 for suggestions
POV: Ville
Summary: Based on the lyrics Growing On Me by The Darkness.
Disclaimer: I don't own Vam. I don't own The Darkness. I only own this Tango that I drunk all up.. wait.. no.. my dad owned that...Oopsie O.O
Authors note: I was listening to this song and decided it was just purrrrfect. Very short. But I needed it off my chest. Dedicated to anyone who will comment XD
I can't get rid of you
You're there. Everywhere I am. My greatest fan, right? I've never understood the way you idolize me. What am I really? Some Scandinavian dude who hit it lucky with a bunch of his friends. And yet you consider me this God. This strange, mysterious, beautiful Adonis. I've never understood it and I probably never will. I see myself as nothing yet you see me as everything. You once said in an interview 'Idol doesn't describe it strong enough'. Why? I've never done anything other than the job I love, yet you worship me for it.
When I first met you you confused me so much. This butch little American skater boy with a thing about a tall, dark, foreigner who sings about love and vampires. It scared me at first. Did you ever know that? What I don't understand scares me. It's why I try to learn so much. Read so much. Knowledge is power, darling.
But I didn't know anything about you, except that you seemed to like my music, and you clung to me like anything. I couldn't shake you. You went to every show, every signing, every event you could reach - which was quite far considering your resources.
I don't know what to do
So eventually, I gave up. I let you in. You kept surprising me. With your ability to talk, your sense of humor, your intelligence. I could actually hold a conversation with you, for hours and hours... I don't even know how long we used to sit up. Sundown to sunset. You'd be by my side when I took my first breath of the day and lying on my chest when I took my last. And I loved it. Your company excited me as much as it terrified me. I just didn't know what to do with you, how to behave. Would you be disappointed when you discovered I wasn't an immortal being of absolute perfection? That I fangirled Black Sabbath and couldn't quite breathe correctly if I got over excited? That I could hardly speak English when I was drunk? But you just seemed to revel in it all the more..
I don't even know who is growing on who
Safe to see your little American self began to grow on me. I could stand your presence, even if you tended to irritate me on a bad day. Luckily I didn't have many of those when you were making me giggle pretty much constantly. I didn't have much of a choice really. The record company said you'd be good for us, for our image. Try and get a steadier American fan base. A broader fan base.
'Cos everywhere I go you're there
I Can't get you out of my hair
I can remember the day it became all too much so clearly. When you really started getting under my skin, and you weren't even there to witness it. After about two weeks of your solid company, I wake up and you were gone. Some skating promo on the other side of the state. I couldn't function that day and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. I think I smoked my way through about six packs of cigarettes and had about two asthma attacks.
I missed you.
I couldn't function without you. And I hated myself for it.
I can't pretend that I don't care - it's not fair
I'm being punished for all my offences
I wanna touch you but I'm afraid of the consequences
I hate that I have to behave like this around you. Like I don't care when I do with all my heart.
When you got back you were so hurt. You didn't understand why I wasn't going near you. You missed out on the usual hugs and cuddles and piggybacks and extra cuddles.
But I couldn't trust myself. I knew that if I got too close I'd shove you against the nearest wall and wreck that pretty innocence you seemed to possess.
I wanna banish you from whence you came
But you're part of me now
And I've only got myself to blame
It really started to get to me a few days later. You gave up with waiting for me to touch you so you went straight in for it yourself, coming up behind me and simply holding me, working your way onto my lap...
Oh Bammie, the first time you did that... I ended up in the bathroom for at least two hours. Your warm body against mine was driving me absolutely insane, so much so that I was beginning to wish I'd never met you. Surely it'll be easier never to have known you at all, rather to have and never be able to have you in the way I so desperately want.
But no matter how hard I try, how hard I wish and beg and pray, in the back of my mind and the bottom of my heart I know that it was best. Just hearing your voice makes my day brighter. Every hug makes life worth getting through. I've turned myself into a monster for letting you in, and I'll never, ever regret it.
You're really growing on me
Or am I growing on you?
So imagine my shock when you stopped initiating things. When you'd blush and look down as soon as I entered the room. You started to become quieter when we spoke, you would quietly shy away from me and it sent rushed of fear through my body.
Was I losing you already? Could you sense something?
I had to ask you, I had to ask what was wrong. So I did as soon as I saw you next.
Your only reply was kissing me to within an inch of my life.
Sleeping in an empty bed
Can't get you off my head
Tour that year was agonizing. You wanted to come with me, but contracts stopped you. That and Seppo was starting to get suspicious. How can you blame him when we were disappearing off together every time we had even the smallest chance?
Sleeping in an empty bed is even harder when it's never been full. Knowing I've never had you, had all of you, kept me awake at night. The knowing that I would soon got me through those months, though. You called me every night, saying the filthiest things and making the dirtiest promises that never really helped with my predicament..
I won't have a life until you're dead
Yes, you heard what I said
You filled my every sense, my every thought. I breathed you. I lived you. I couldn't get through my days without you. Until you're dead it'll remain that way. Because when you die, I'll end too. I'll finish, so you can't infiltrate me in this way.
I wanna shake you off but you just won't go
I hate it. I don't want to be reliant. I don't want to have to have you. But you don't see that. You don't see that it's killing me to love you. Sometimes I never want to see you again, then again sometimes I want you in me and on me and just everywhere, so much that I beg, and you just adore that don't you?
And you're all over me but I don't want anyone to know
I still don't want anyone to know. Is that bad? I love you so much that no one can ever know about it. It'd destroy your career that you had worked so hard to build. Your reputation, your image, your fanbase, your friends, your family... everything would be destroyed if anyone knew the muttered words we shared when it was dark.
That you're attached to me, that's how you've grown
Won't you leave me, leave me alone
It's another one of those days where I wish you'd just leave. It would be so much easier. It hurts to love you, darling. To not have you. To not be able to hold your hand in public. I'm so proud of you, of your everything, so proud to have you as mine, I want to scream it from the rooftops. I want to dedicate my every song to you. Yet I can't, because it would ruin anything and everything.
How, lover, can something that feels so right, be so God damn wrong?
Why, my darling, did you have to grow on me?
Pairing: ... the owl and the pussycat? Vam damnit Vam!!
Rating: PG-13 for suggestions
POV: Ville
Summary: Based on the lyrics Growing On Me by The Darkness.
Disclaimer: I don't own Vam. I don't own The Darkness. I only own this Tango that I drunk all up.. wait.. no.. my dad owned that...Oopsie O.O
Authors note: I was listening to this song and decided it was just purrrrfect. Very short. But I needed it off my chest. Dedicated to anyone who will comment XD
I can't get rid of you
You're there. Everywhere I am. My greatest fan, right? I've never understood the way you idolize me. What am I really? Some Scandinavian dude who hit it lucky with a bunch of his friends. And yet you consider me this God. This strange, mysterious, beautiful Adonis. I've never understood it and I probably never will. I see myself as nothing yet you see me as everything. You once said in an interview 'Idol doesn't describe it strong enough'. Why? I've never done anything other than the job I love, yet you worship me for it.
When I first met you you confused me so much. This butch little American skater boy with a thing about a tall, dark, foreigner who sings about love and vampires. It scared me at first. Did you ever know that? What I don't understand scares me. It's why I try to learn so much. Read so much. Knowledge is power, darling.
But I didn't know anything about you, except that you seemed to like my music, and you clung to me like anything. I couldn't shake you. You went to every show, every signing, every event you could reach - which was quite far considering your resources.
I don't know what to do
So eventually, I gave up. I let you in. You kept surprising me. With your ability to talk, your sense of humor, your intelligence. I could actually hold a conversation with you, for hours and hours... I don't even know how long we used to sit up. Sundown to sunset. You'd be by my side when I took my first breath of the day and lying on my chest when I took my last. And I loved it. Your company excited me as much as it terrified me. I just didn't know what to do with you, how to behave. Would you be disappointed when you discovered I wasn't an immortal being of absolute perfection? That I fangirled Black Sabbath and couldn't quite breathe correctly if I got over excited? That I could hardly speak English when I was drunk? But you just seemed to revel in it all the more..
I don't even know who is growing on who
Safe to see your little American self began to grow on me. I could stand your presence, even if you tended to irritate me on a bad day. Luckily I didn't have many of those when you were making me giggle pretty much constantly. I didn't have much of a choice really. The record company said you'd be good for us, for our image. Try and get a steadier American fan base. A broader fan base.
'Cos everywhere I go you're there
I Can't get you out of my hair
I can remember the day it became all too much so clearly. When you really started getting under my skin, and you weren't even there to witness it. After about two weeks of your solid company, I wake up and you were gone. Some skating promo on the other side of the state. I couldn't function that day and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. I think I smoked my way through about six packs of cigarettes and had about two asthma attacks.
I missed you.
I couldn't function without you. And I hated myself for it.
I can't pretend that I don't care - it's not fair
I'm being punished for all my offences
I wanna touch you but I'm afraid of the consequences
I hate that I have to behave like this around you. Like I don't care when I do with all my heart.
When you got back you were so hurt. You didn't understand why I wasn't going near you. You missed out on the usual hugs and cuddles and piggybacks and extra cuddles.
But I couldn't trust myself. I knew that if I got too close I'd shove you against the nearest wall and wreck that pretty innocence you seemed to possess.
I wanna banish you from whence you came
But you're part of me now
And I've only got myself to blame
It really started to get to me a few days later. You gave up with waiting for me to touch you so you went straight in for it yourself, coming up behind me and simply holding me, working your way onto my lap...
Oh Bammie, the first time you did that... I ended up in the bathroom for at least two hours. Your warm body against mine was driving me absolutely insane, so much so that I was beginning to wish I'd never met you. Surely it'll be easier never to have known you at all, rather to have and never be able to have you in the way I so desperately want.
But no matter how hard I try, how hard I wish and beg and pray, in the back of my mind and the bottom of my heart I know that it was best. Just hearing your voice makes my day brighter. Every hug makes life worth getting through. I've turned myself into a monster for letting you in, and I'll never, ever regret it.
You're really growing on me
Or am I growing on you?
So imagine my shock when you stopped initiating things. When you'd blush and look down as soon as I entered the room. You started to become quieter when we spoke, you would quietly shy away from me and it sent rushed of fear through my body.
Was I losing you already? Could you sense something?
I had to ask you, I had to ask what was wrong. So I did as soon as I saw you next.
Your only reply was kissing me to within an inch of my life.
Sleeping in an empty bed
Can't get you off my head
Tour that year was agonizing. You wanted to come with me, but contracts stopped you. That and Seppo was starting to get suspicious. How can you blame him when we were disappearing off together every time we had even the smallest chance?
Sleeping in an empty bed is even harder when it's never been full. Knowing I've never had you, had all of you, kept me awake at night. The knowing that I would soon got me through those months, though. You called me every night, saying the filthiest things and making the dirtiest promises that never really helped with my predicament..
I won't have a life until you're dead
Yes, you heard what I said
You filled my every sense, my every thought. I breathed you. I lived you. I couldn't get through my days without you. Until you're dead it'll remain that way. Because when you die, I'll end too. I'll finish, so you can't infiltrate me in this way.
I wanna shake you off but you just won't go
I hate it. I don't want to be reliant. I don't want to have to have you. But you don't see that. You don't see that it's killing me to love you. Sometimes I never want to see you again, then again sometimes I want you in me and on me and just everywhere, so much that I beg, and you just adore that don't you?
And you're all over me but I don't want anyone to know
I still don't want anyone to know. Is that bad? I love you so much that no one can ever know about it. It'd destroy your career that you had worked so hard to build. Your reputation, your image, your fanbase, your friends, your family... everything would be destroyed if anyone knew the muttered words we shared when it was dark.
That you're attached to me, that's how you've grown
Won't you leave me, leave me alone
It's another one of those days where I wish you'd just leave. It would be so much easier. It hurts to love you, darling. To not have you. To not be able to hold your hand in public. I'm so proud of you, of your everything, so proud to have you as mine, I want to scream it from the rooftops. I want to dedicate my every song to you. Yet I can't, because it would ruin anything and everything.
How, lover, can something that feels so right, be so God damn wrong?
Why, my darling, did you have to grow on me?