Midnight Tears-Chapter 13

[carleybabes]

Posting "Midnight Tears" for WICKED_GLAMOUR again. Probably forever, cause lj won't work for her. Again, I don't have the link to past chapters. Sorry. Comment anyway, cause its good. (disclaimer: THIS IS NOT MY STORY!)



MIDNIGHT TEARS - Ch.13

CHAPTER 13
Our break up had been bitter and angry and, worst of all, very public. Having a 'celebrity' status has it's perks, and when the end of a relationship ensues the possibilities are endless. The relationship I'd had with her for years had gone very sour in the last four months, but the last of them had been the worst. I'd constantly been suspicious of her sleeping around and, being me, confronted her about it numerous times. She was always jealous and angry of the time and attention that I gave to my friends over her, especially my best friend Ville. But I suppose, in retrospect, our relationship was destined to fall apart. It had been doomed from the moment I met Ville. I was in love with him even then, but I'd been lying to myself. Finally though, I ended the turbulent game of insult ping pong between us over two years ago. It wasn't for her or me. I could have gone on insulting her and being an overall jackass forever. But it was her daughter Elle, who I had deeply bonded with, who was being hurt by our fighting, that I did it for. Since then, I haven't even thought about her, the mother I mean. Why would I? My heart was set on Ville.
But, when I opened the door just now, here she stood as if she was once again my girlfriend. She was smiling brightly, her blue eyes wide and cheery, looking like she didn't remember that we had a past. I just stared at her for a moment. I didn't know what she was doing here, but I didn't sense any malice in her attitude.
"Oh, hey Jenn." I greeted simply.
"Bam baby! How are you?!" she said in an almost painfully high and happy tone as she bounced a few times on the balls of her feet.
I didn't answer for a moment. Jeezus, was she this annoying back when? Yeah...I guess she was...
I shrugged. "I'm good. What's up with you? What're you doin' over here?"
"Oh, I just came by to see you is all." she said, her sunny demeanor dimming a bit as she lowered her eyes. "I mean, what happened back then, that was horrible and I've had tons of time to think about it. Really, I came by to say I'm sorry. I wanted to know if we could still be friends. And Elle misses you alot. She hasn't forgotten you at all."
I just stared at her, speechless. Over two years and she comes by with this? I was tempted to be bitter, to tell her that I had had time too but didn't feel it necessary to think about a worthless slut like her. I was tempted to tell her she could shove her friendship up her ass because mine was taken. What seriously tempted me to become angry with her was the fact that she used Elle as leaverage. But I didn't do anything, and I didn't say anything for a few long moments. I was so tired of being angry and bitter. The overwhelming sadness was exhausting me, body and soul. And I didn't want to let the darkness creep up on me again. It was safe in a little black box within me.
"Whatever." I said finally. "Shit goes down the can." That was essentially my way of saying it's all good.
Her smile brightened to the point where I thought her face was going to crack. Before I knew what was happening, she had jumped on me, wrapping her arms around my neck and legs around my waist. I fell backwards, completely taken off guard by her, and hit the wall behind me hard.
"Ok, ok, chill the hell out, Jenn." I said, pushing her off me.
I suppose she took that as a hug, or something good, because she leaned forward and kissed my cheek. I couldn't have felt more awkward or...violated.
"Oh, Bam! Thank you so much!" she squeaked.
God, she was annoying. No wonder I liked men more than ever. What the fuck had I just gotten myself into?
"We gonna go get beers or stand here and giggle all night?"
One might think that it had been one of the guys who had interjected the awkward thing going on between Jenn and me. But, I turned around facing Ville, looking at him a bit surprised. If I hadn't known him so well, I would have thought nothing of the comment. But I knew him better than anyone, and I could clearly hear the seriousness in his otherwise casual tone. I could see the stiffness in his otherwise relaxed body. I could see the hint of jealousy in his otherwise clear green eyes.
"Yeah, sorry babe." I said finally, walking over to him.
I was going to take his hand, be the gentleman and all. But his lips were on mine before I could comprehend anything. My eyes widened in surprise and I didn't respond right away. But, good lord, they were so soft and sweet and his tongue was so demanding. I soon relaxed into the kiss and opened my mouth for him, returning the kiss easilly. After a moment though, we seperated, slightly out of breath. I smiled at him. He looked so...cute...when his lips were red from kissing.
"Wow." What the hell was I supposed to say?
"Thanks." He replied, voice lilting a little bit with...triumph? I chuckled.
"So, you two finally got together, eh?" I heard Jenn speak from behind me.
I turned around, nodding. I felt Ville take my hand and I squeezed it tightly.
"That's cool." she said smiling. "Look at you two, so in love. That's awesome."
Nobody said anything for a while. I was too surprised at her statement. Aside from my friends, she'd had the most enthusiastic and positive response prior to find out about me and Ville. I would never have thought. I felt my body relax and the air of awkwardness lift immediately. I smiled at her. If she was this cool about our relationship, I guess I could put up with her tendency to annoy me from time to time. I needed all the friends I could get.
"Thanks." I said finally.
"Dja say something about beers, Ville?" she said brightly, looking at him now. "What the hell are we waiting for?" She said glancing at the other guys now in question.
I chuckled. "I guess we're gonna have to take two cars now. Let's go!"
I pulled Ville behind me as I made my way to the Lambo. Novak, Jess, and DiCo jumped in the back while my lover carefully sat shotgun next to me. As I took off, nobody said anything at all. Truly, the air inside the small space of the car was tense to the point that my good mood was fading away quickly. I kept on eye on Ville as we drove down the road, studying him. He was slouched in his seat, one arm slung over his swollen belly, the other tucked under his head as he leaned against the door. For all the passion I'd received in that surprise kiss back at the house, he looked strangely sad and forelorn right now, his emerald eyes half lidded and not so bright as he stared out at the country wizzing by. I sighed, taking my hand off the stickshift and grabbing his, rubbing his fingers soothingly with my thumb. He looked at me, and I smiled at him reassuringly. I calmed down a little when he smiled back at me, squeezing my hand. Not a single word was spoken on the way to the bar between any of us. The only sounds were of the car, the roaring wind, and the blasting music.
The rest of the week was spent much like how it was at the bar that night: crazy, happy, nearly back to normal. The only thing was, ever since Jenn came back into the picture, whether as a simple friend or not, Ville has been a little more quiet, a little more possessive of me, a little...jealous of her. I didn't know why though. He knew that my heart belonged to him alone. But still, he got a little bitter whenever he found me spending time with her, even if it was with the guys, and he became a little more open and lusty in front of everyone just to make it quite clear that I was his. Of course, most of the time I didn't mind this. It was nice to know that he loved me this much. But it only worried me when there was so much tension between the two of them I thought claws were going to come out. I was worried about the affects Ville's stress was having on his body, and I was worried about what was going on in that head of his. If he thought that I was going to go back to Jenn, if he thought I was going to get tired of him and abandon him, he was dead wrong. Jenn meant nothing to me. He meant everything and more. I already felt as if I'd abandoned lil Elle back when Jenn and I had broken up, and she wasn't even my biological daughter. I wasn't going to abandon my own flesh and blood offspring let alone the beautiful man that was carrying that child.
So, I began to spend less time with Jenn and the guys and more time with Ville. It was nice this time spent together. We'd spent so much time apart, so much painful time, and now I had him and he was all mine. I learned a great deal about my lover during this time. For one, he was extremely good at poker. If he hadn't been my lover, I would have owed him shitloads of money by now. As it was, we were playing for...certain other things. Pleasurable things. I quite enjoyed the times when I rewarded him for his talent at cards. I think he liked them alot as well. I also learned that he hated names that began with the letter M. We'd been discussing baby names, and sure, there were some really nice ones like Morgan and Marcus and Mielda, but I understood completely why he didn't like those particular group of names. I was disinclined to like them as well for the very same reason. Mige and Mikko started with M. I knew that Ville was beginning to ache more and more due to the extra weight on his body, and I often gave him full body massages which may or may not have lead to other things. I knew which foods made Ville sick and which did not; his stomach became upset after eating turkey or anything spicy and also after drinking orange juice. I was aware of what annoyed him and did my damnedest not to break so much glassware, to keep Jenn from making playful yet offensive gay remarks (which I didn't mind though), to keep Novak from pissing in the pool or the sink and to keep his wang inside his pants for the most part.
The more I knew about him, the more I loved him...for the most part. Although I tried to stray away from such thoughts and damn well didn't speak them aloud, I couldn't deny the fact that at times Ville himself touched on my nerves. Like when I was having fun with the guys doing pranks and stunts and mudding and such, when I felt the closest to my old self than I'd felt in what seemed like forever, he'd show up, pulling me away from the fun to do...whatever it is he needed me for. Or when I drank a little too much but was having the time of my life, he'd intervene telling me that it wasn't good at all to drink so much; this coming from the guy who used to get smashed as hell even when he was on stage at a concert. Even when I wanted so badly to go to a bar and chill with the guys, it annoyed me that I couldn't because I was leaving him alone. I didn't want him to go to those smoke filled booze joints. It was bad for the baby.
I couldn't help but feel a little bitter by being held back by him. It wasn't always his fault though; he'd urge me to go to the bars with the guys and I'd refuse, feeling guilty for leaving him behind with no one but my cats to keep him company. Still... But I pushed these thoughts out of my mind, angry at myself for thinking such things about the man I loved with all my heart. Yes, I loved him more than anything, even more than the memory of the old days which I missed so damn much. And I would do anything for him, even sacrifice that which I selfishly desired with more of myself than I would admit. I everything locked inside myself, and, as time passed by, I began to be too much. I see that now.
My sarcasm with him began to take on a serious lilt, faint or not. I could see how much this was affecting him and tried my damnedest to control it. But sometimes I just couldn't, and I began spending more time with my friends because I couldn't stand the hurt look on his face, I couldn't stand the thought that I was causing him to bear this expression in the first place. And the more I spent time with my friends, with Jenn, the bitter he became and I began to become bitter in turn. Why couldn't he just give me a little space? I needed to be able to stretch my legs and become the crazy dude I used to be just for a little while. It felt good. Not that spending time with him wasn't good, it was awesome, but to live life as I used to was sort of refreshing. We became snippy with each other. A hole was beginning to form on the couch now from all the time Ville spent curled up there watching movies and television. It made me feel even more guilty thinking about it, and I hated myself all the more as well. I did spend time with him though, I wasn't avoiding him completely or anything. I tried to make the growing tension between us go away! I laid down on the couch with him, on of us curling up in the other's arms. We made food together. We looked at books on the developement of babies en utero which was quite interesting actually. We spent hours massaging each other and more. But the undeniable tension was there. And my little black box was breaking, slowly but surely. I felt it deep down, and it hurt.
Eventually though, Ville decided to contribute something to the otherside as well, and I wasn't very happy with that something. A few weeks ago, the guys had been once again heading out for beer at Duffer's. We'd spent the day skating our hearts out at the local skatepark, something I hadn't done in a long while, and the adrenaline and excitement were pumping through me faster than ever. Ville had spent the day at the house watching Elle (his idea) and when everyone got back from skating around six in the evening he was completely exhausted. I wanted so bad to go with the guys, to continue our near perfect day at the bar, but I also felt really guilty for having spent almost no time with my lover and I opted to stay at the house with him.
"Don't worry about me, Bam." He'd said, shaking his head. "I'll be fine. I like it when you spend quality time with your friends." I'd been unsure if that had been truly sincere or blatantly sarcastic.
I shook my head as well. "Nah, babe. I wanna stay here with you." I said firmly yet gently. "Maybe we can take a bath together." I said, waggling my eye brows. "It'll be fun."
He sighed, scratching his chest in frustration. "No, Bam. I was gonna clean the dishes down in the pirate bar and pick up the mess out on the deck." He said, his voice firm and more than a little bitter. "Go to Duffer's with the guys. I don't mind."
His bitterness got under my skin, and his pushing me away on purpose hurt me. I felt myself frown deeply and I popped my knuckles in frustration. "I'm staying here with you, Ville. Forget about it."
He sighed heavilly, raising his hands in the air in a highly frustrated gesture. "I want you to go to the bar, Bam! Just go! Get hammered! It doesn't matter!"
"So, what, you don't want to spend time with me? Is that it?!" I raised my voice, my anger pushing past my barriers.
"No! That's not it!" He said, both angrilly and defensively. "I want to spend time with you! I just don't want your friends to get left out is all."
Again, the line between sincerity and sarcasm was hard to draw. It frustrated me to no end. And we were just going to go in circles if this kept up, pointless, endless circles that were going to result in nothing but more tension and hurt between us. Neither of us said anything for the longest time, and we didn't look into each other's eyes, just shuffled around restlessly, frustratedly. It seemed like forever that we remained like this, nothing happening save the slow increase of anger, frustration, and guilt.
But then, for the third time since I'd come into my bedroom, Ville sighed. I looked up as his movements became less restless and more direct. He'd changed his shirt and began brushing out his hair.
"What are you doing?" I asked. He'd put on a good pregnancy shirt. He finished brushing his hair and sprayed some cologne on his body, not looking me in the eye. His lack of a response made my anger and frustration increase significantly. "What are you doing, Ville?" I said, this time more firmly and angry.
"I'm coming with you." He replied, his voice low and to the point, as he grabbed his jacket off the bed where it'd been folded, freshly washed.
"What?" I'd said, completely taken back by this. But I instantly lost my shock and my anger returned. "No, you're not."
He stopped in front of me, eyes small with anger, face frowning deeply. I didn't like it when he frowned like that, not one bit. "Why not." He said, his voice low with the lilt of a serious challenge.
"You know exactly why I don't want you going into bars, Ville."
"The smoke isn't going to hurt me, Bam!" He raised his voice in frustration. "I've told you before, there isn't that much in those bars at all. It's not like we're going to spend hours in the cigarette factory or something."
"I don't care how much is in there! It isn't good for the baby!" God, how could he not think of stuff like this?!
"The baby will be fine! I tell you, nothing's going to happen to us!"
I popped my neck now, my fingers having been done already, frustrated past all anger. I grabbed my jacket off the bed as well. "Fine, you wanna come? Let's go."
We headed downstairs, walking fast and stomping the whole way. If everyone in the house hadn't heard our little argument, they sure as hell heard us coming. I immediately wrangled up everyone and the lot of us headed out to the cars. On the drive to Duffer's, Ville and I rode with Dunn, Rake, Raab, and Novak in the hummer, Novak driving (God help us). I sat in the seat farthest back with Ville and, although casual conversation was being carried on up front, not a word was spoken between us. There was just too much tension. But Novak didn't drive as fast as I expected for some odd reason and the quiet, lonesome time I spent in the back with my lover was filled with deep thoughts. By the time we got to the bar, my anger had disappeared completely and I was overwhelmed with guilt. As everyone began walking into the bar, I pulled Ville aside, burying my face in his shoulder and hugging him tightly, careful of his stomach. At first, the contact was awkward, but then he melted into my embrace and held me as well.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you." I whispered into his neck.
He rubbed my back soothingly. "I'm sorry too, Bammi." He hadn't called me that all day. It made me happy to hear him call me that. In a way, it meant he'd forgiven me. "I love you."
"I love you too." I replied softly.
I looked up then, and our eyes locked. We just looked at each other for a few moments, but finally our lips met. It was a chaste kiss, yet it was full of love and forgiveness.
"Come on, sweetheart." He said finally, taking me by the hand and leading me inside the bar where we met back up with everyone.
Since then, Ville continued to join us on our bar hopping adventures. He was the emergency designated driver. I didn't want him driving, but if he had to, he had to, and it wasn't like he could drink anyway. Still, I worried about the affects that the smoke was having on him. But the more he joined us, the more I realized that nothing was happening to him or the baby, and I relaxed. The extra time together was just enough to make the tension between us less static which was sorely needed. But, even then, we couldn't get rid of the tension completely though we tried our damnedest. As the tension between us eased, the air of the house paralleled it, returning to a more normal atmosphere that was more comfortable and fun. But still, the bitterness between Jenn and Ville remained as strong as ever. And, more than ever, I felt torn in two. It was painful, and it was angering. And my anger and frustration were not only put on Ville but on Jenn as well as myself. We were all adding to the awkwardness and the stress in our own way whether intentionally or not. And so, despite the temporary mending of our wounds, they were slowly but sure reopening as the days passed and the stitches fell apart like sugar.
More than ever, the darkness residing inside of me was breaking the little black box. And I was so very tempted to let it do what it wanted with me.
Tonight though, everyone was spending time together. It was, as corney as it sounds, game night, and it had been my idea. The tension in the house was not just between me and Ville and Jenn, it was seeping into my friends and brother as well. It was horrible, sickening, and utterly painful. It made the memories of my resent past bubble right back up to the tender surface. I was once again putting the unnecissary burden of my personal troubles onto the shoulders of my friends, and brother this time. The darkness that I'd tried to surpress was resurfacing, and my little black box was almost completely torn to pieces. But I was fighting it, oh was I fighting it. I wanted to get everyone together so that, some how, in the fun of everything, the tension would be lost and a certain level of tolerance if not comfort would form between us all. This was my last resort. I didn't want to lose anyone, but this was all to much to bear. It couldn't continue as it had been.
The guys got all sorts of games; video games, cards, board games, ect. I was anxious as the night progressed and everyone began showing back up at the house knowing that I had planned this night all week. Jess brought his wife along as well as his daughter and Jenn brought Elle. I was excited about the latter. I hadn't seen lil Elle in over two years and just the thought of her made me miss her little face all the more. When the two of them showed up, the little girl squealed when she saw me, jumping into my arms as I leaned down to catch her. She'd gotten so big! She was, what, ten years old now?! She clung to me as I walked into the living room, her long skinny legs and arms wrapped around me like monkey limbs. Her long blonde hair had gotten even longer and was now nearly to her waist. Her big blue eyes were just as bright as I remembered, shining with the innocence of youth.
And when I saw Ville, the fact that he was pregnant with my child truly struck me with Elle in my arms. I was so ready to be a father. My baby was going to be completely perfect, and it was purely because it was with that gorgeously perfect man. Setting Elle down, I walked over to Ville who was mingling with everyone. I smiled at him as he noticed me and gave him a little kiss, resting my hand on his very swollen belly. He was now a little over eight months pregnant now and truly looked like he'd pop like a balloon at any given moment. More than ever, the heavy weight of the baby made his body ache and I guided him over to the couch knowing this. Kissing his forehead, I walked away as Elle began squealing my name once again.
The games soon started after that. Halo 2 was put on the big screen tv first and DiCo and Raab nearly annihilated each other in the two hours that that game was played. Someone had brought Mariocart or some shit (nobody would admit who, it was just there) and that game was played for another two hours. It was funny as shit when comments were made concerning Donkey Kong and Mario and Peach, something about a dirty three some and not wanting King Kong on someone's dong. Or something. Whatever it was, people were in hysterics. But, I tried to keep them a little quiet because there were little kids in the house. After video games, the little girls wanted to play something with us, and so Jess popped out Candyland. The girls sure liked that game, but the rest of us did as well. The dirty comments that the little one's didn't quite get were funny as shit. Hehehe...gumballs... But, as it was getting late, the game soon turned to cards. Jess's wife needed to feed their daughter dinner and Elle was hungry as well. But Jenn was busy playing games. Ville opted to go with the girls and help out. He and Elle and the others had bonded apparently which made me extatic. I knew he was going to be a great father. He looked so cute with Elle.
What the hell is card playing if you don't have chips or liquor? That's what I'd always said. And tonight, although at first I refrained from drinking knowing that it upset Ville, he reminded me that he didn't mind if I drank as long as I didn't get smashed. In Texas Hold 'Em, Raab for some reason kicked everyone's ass three rounds in a row. He swore up and down that he didn't cheat, but I was still skeptical. In poker, I kicked everyone's ass every time save one. All those times playing poker with Ville had sharpened me up real good. By the time we got through with that, it was nearly two in the morning. I'd begun getting seriously annoyed with my lover in this time. He'd kept showing up at the very wrong time, trying to make me stop drinking and warning me that I was getting hammered. But I wasn't! And I told him not to worry about me, to just let me play my card games. Jenn was making remarks too, but I just laughed at her. They weren't supposed to be taken seriously, Ville was just taking everything too damn hard.
When we'd started our tenth round of poker (we were just having too much fun betting), Ville so decided to come up to me, eyes small with frustration and mouth down turned in a tight frown. I tried to ignore him, throwing my chips in the pot and taking another swig of my whiskey.
"Bam, you need to stop drinking." He said firmly, commandingly. "You know how you get with whiskey."
I ignored him, my annoyance reaching it's peak as I raised the pot $200 on my turn.
"Bam, stop drinking." He said again, raising his voice slightly as he set his hand on my bottle of whiskey before I could grab it.
I looked at him then, our eyes burning holes in the other. "Gimme my drink, Vil." I said, slapping his hand away and snatching the bottle. "Just lemme alone!"
He stared at me as I turned back to my game, trying to figure out if the pot had been raised again or what had happened.
"Bam - " I could hear the serious warning in his tone, and it angered me.
"Just go away, Ville! I'm in the middle of something!" I shouted now, slamming my whiskey bottle on the dining room table unnecissarilly hard.
"He's fine, dude! Forget about him and go do fatherly things or something." Jenn commented, giggling drunkenly.
The image of Ville doing something parental entered my mind at her comment and I began laughing aloud as well. When I glanced at him after a few moments though, he was seething. His green eyes were glowing with hurt and rage, and his face was contorted into an expression of pure anger. I turned away from him, intent on continuing my game of cards, when he grabbed the bottle of whiskey out of my hand, the amber liquid sloshing out slightly with the force of his action. I was so angry now that I slammed my hand on the table, glaring at him as hard as I could.
"Upstairs. Now." Ville demanded, his low voice leaving no room for question.
I didn't hesitate to follow him up the stairs, my anger blocking out the oooo's and curses of my friends as we entered my room. I slammed the door behind me as hard as I could.
"What the fuck is your deal, Ville?!" I shouted at him.
"I told you not to get wasted, Bam! I told you!" He yelled angrilly. "And you shouldn't be drinking this in the first place!" He said waving the bottle of whiskey in the air.
"I am not wasted! I just wanna have some damn fun!" I slapped a bottle of cologne off my dresser. "I did this night for you, you know! Because you just won't get along with anyone! You're such a bitch!"
"What?!" He shouted back in complete shock.
"Nothing I do can make you happy, goddamnit!"
"That's not true!" He yelled in both anger and deffense. "You used to always make me happy! Every second of every fucking day! But now you hardly ever wanna spend time with me!! It's like you don't even love me anymore!"
"I do love you, but goddamnit, you're fucking smothering me!" He looked at me, so angry he was at a loss for words. I continued. "I can't fucking do anything without you! I can't go anywhere with the guys, I can't spend time with Jenn...I mean, I'm not fucking fucking her, Ville!" I stomped over to him, snatching the whiskey out of his hand violently. "I just wanted to have drink with the guys tonight! That's all!" I said, throwing the bottle of whiskey at the wall as hard as I could.
The bottle shattered instantly spraying both glass and liquor everywhere. The sharp sound of breaking glass was like the boom of a canon it was so loud, and for the briefest of moments the sound quieted the both of us.
"But you drink with the guys almost every night, Bam! You drink too damn much!" Ville shouted angrilly after a few moments.
"Oh, shut the hell up. You used to drink like a fucking tanker!"
"I stopped drinking, Bam. I stopped drinking a long time ago." Ville said deffensively.
"Only because you got knocked up! If it weren't for that, you'd still be drinkin' like the rest of us!"
He stared at me, completely aghast at what I'd said. I couldn't even believe what I'd said. But I stuck to my guns, there was no backing down now.
"Knocked up?" He said still in shock. "Knocked up?! It's your baby too, Bam! You're the one that fucked me!! Don't you even think about that?! Don't you give a shit about our child?!" He sat down on the bed, the stress of his intense anger exhausting him. For the briefest of moments, I was touched with guilt, but my drunken anger soon overwhelmed that. "I told you not to fucking get wasted..." He said again, his voice quieter.
I didn't say anything for a moment. Then, in a bout of fury, I took the nearest thing to me and threw it as hard as I could at my wall. The glass heartagram, the one that he'd gotten me a few years ago at the conclusion of one his videos, smashed against the wall, shattering into a thousand pieces. He stared at the wall where it'd hit, stared at the shards of glass that glittered the floor. Nothing was said, nobody moved, nobody hardly breathed. But then, I looked over at him as he ran his hands over his face and through his hair, his breathing hard and labored. He stood up then, and even in my drunken state I could see how his body trembled.
"Where are you going?" I said, my voice still angry as he grabbed his jacket and threw it on.
"You're fucking hammered, and I'm leaving." He replied, his voice low and monotone.
"What? Where are you gonna go?" My drunken mind was still trying to comprehend the fact that he was leaving me.
"None of your business. I'm leaving." He said again, his voice stinging and slightly uneven.
I grabbed him by his arm as he tried to push past me to the door. "No you're not." I nearly growled. I could see his green eyes shimmering with tears and the grimace on his face as I tightened my grip on his arm.
"Let me go, Bam." He said, whimpering slightly. "I'm leaving, so let me fucking go!"
"No you're not!" I shouted in his face, and he grimaced even more at the volume of my voice.
"Yes I am! I don't wanna fucking be near you! You're too goddamn drunk!" He shouted at me as well, both scared and angry.
I didn't respond for a moment, just stared at him trying to comprehend his words. And when they finally did, my anger peaked. I opened my door angrilly, dragging him along down the stairs, ignoring his pleas for me to let him go. I drug him to the front door, opening it and shoving him out.
"You wanna fucking leave?! Then get the hell outta here! GO!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.
His face was slightly blurred, but I could still see the way he fought back the tears that were streaming down his cheeks, still see the way his face deformed into a look of pure agony. Before I knew what was happening, he was walking away into the darkness of my driveway as fast as he could. Evidently he'd grabbed someone's keys at some point while we were still in the house because he jumped in one of the vehicles and took off, wheels squealing as he did so.
I slammed my front door shut as hard as I could. I leaned against it, clentching my own fists as the tears came bursting forth. I didn't know why. I didn't know anything. All that I could comprehend was the intense burning pain inside my chest. I felt someone try to touch me, and I flipped around, swinging blindly, my vision blurred horribly. And the next thing I knew, I was surrounded by the darkness of unconsciousness.