oooh my...
There are a lot of things that I just don't understand. There are a lot of things that I will never understand. Some people don't know how to drop subjects that are done and over with and don't need to be discussed anymore.
I don't understand why...
-People make some of the choices that they do.
-People can't be honest with you about their true feelings.
-Some things that happened over these past couple months happened the way they did.
-Things that you may think will take a short amount of time to get over, will take weeks or possibly months.
-People think something else, but they know something true...and are afraid to admit it.
-No matter how much someone makes you cry, you still care about them.
-People make choices that they have sixth sense feeling they know they will regret.
There is a lot more to that. But those are among the top of the heap there. Sure some things in the past need to be forgotten, and other things are hard to move on from.
I once befriended this girl back in high school because I had felt sorry for her because she didn't really have any friends. At first, I didn't understand, why it was hard for her to make friends or why she didn't have many friends. Throughout the time that I knew her, I would slowly pick up on small things, that indeed led to a bigger picture. She lied to a lot of people. She wasn't honest. She had a personality that was uncovered if one had truly gotten to know her. It was one of those types of personalities that sucked you in, and people befriended her because they felt sorry for her. Sure, I had felt connected with her in some way, as was my friend Amanda. But having a connection with someone even as a friend is considered important. ALTHOUGH it's those hidden underlying connections that one day will get you in trouble. Did I get in trouble down the road? I don't think that I would say that much. But before she could hurt me or my friends for that matter, I left. It was hard, but some things you figure out as you go along.
I think that some people are oblivious to the actions of others. For example, some people may tell you that they have changed, for say in order to win/take back a friend, when in fact, they have only "changed" per say the way they may talk to you, or act around you, when in reality, they haven't changed at all. You can't change a person. A person needs to be able to change on their own. Some people can also say they change because they are afraid of "loosing their latch" so to speak. If you are aware of things early on, and have recognized them, AND admitted to the person about them, open your eyes. You may think someone is being a good friend to you, but what are you getting out of it? Why are you sacrificing someone else's happiness for your own? I've made that mistake more than once, and oh boy I have learned from it.
That also saying things about lying. Right here is where I want to smack certain people. Okay... IF SOMEONE HAS LIED TO YOU BEFORE, WHETHER IT WAS MINOR OR VERY IMPORTANT, AND THEY HAVE SAID IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN, 99.99999999% CHANCE THAT IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. So many people are blind to that factor, or they choose to ignore it and push it to the back of their minds. One day, it will come back to bite them in the ass, because they did ignore it before. People can either be cautious or not cautious at all. But you would think the first time around would teach you something, but some people take awhile to realize certain things. That can either be bad or good.
Everyone is afraid of getting hurt by someone, if you aren't, then...well I don't really have anything for you. But if there are factors that stick out about people and you do have an instinct that they will hurt you, help yourself and get out. You don't have to feel like you are betraying the person, but in reality, you end up betraying yourself, and you may possibly end up at rock bottom then the other person may benefit from it. It isn't simple to tell who will hurt you and who won't, but for example if someone broke up/divorced/separated from someone, there is always a possibility that they can end up going back to their love. There are endless possibilities everywhere, but something like that can end up hurting you if you put your all into it.
That is like looking at the divorce rate here in America...sure it is ridiculously higher then it has been a couple of decades ago, but it goes to point out a few things. If someone has been divorced before, you are already increasing your risk of getting divorced from the next person you marry. Or if you have never been married, and marry someone that has been divorced before, once again, you increase your chances over 50% of getting divorced within the first three years of your marriage. Then again you have the other people who either marry too young, don't know what they are getting into if they get married to someone who has been married before, or make mistakes in general. People don't think things out enough, and end up making the wrong choices.
Before I get into general things (FOR ONCE), here is some advice I would offer anyone, that I have learned from personally and just from watching other people (no, I'm not that psychotic):
-It's okay to befriend someone because you feel sorry for them, but you will figure things out along the way, just don't shut them out, you may end up getting hurt (the things you see, not the person)
-Don't risk your own happiness for someone else's, you may end up screwing yourself over.
-If someone has lied to you before, they WILL do it again.
-If you have gone through periods of not talking to someone for reasons previously stated or your own personal reasons, your friendship is not as strong as you think it is.
-People will "change" because they are afraid of losing you, in reality, they haven't changed at all.
-There are things you can question, especially what is real, and what isn't.
-With some of things people say, how much do you believe?
-It may take you awhile to figure things out, but figure them out before it is too late.
-Walking out of someone's life/trying to forget about them, will not be as easy to walk back in.
-Only you can change yourself, not someone else.
-Get someone else's opinion about things, before making a choice if you are unsure, they might be able to help you. But not the person in which the hoice involves
-If someone says/does things to make you feel bad for them or to get your attention, they defintely aren't relationship material...they will be obsessive/psychotic later on, don't be obvlious to it.
-Don't say that you think one thing, but know something completely opposite to it, why are you hiding your true feelings?
-If you aren't sure about something, then back up from ALL situations, and figure things out on your own.
But you control who you let walk in and out of your life, but ask yourself this...if you let the right person go, will they come back? What would you do to get them back?
And if you know you can't forget about someone, maybe they are supposed to be there.
-Me-
This semester is almost over, and I am glad in a way because this semester has truly hit home for me personally, and I know a lot of my other friends are in the same boat. Things are slowly getting better, not as much as I would have liked or hoped, but they are getting there. One more semester...it is hard to believe that college will be over soon. I am actually looking forward to getting a job and making my own money. There are a lot of things here that I loved doing when I was younger, that don't interest me as much anymore. I don't like going out to party hardcore as much. I don't like dealing with things that don't need to be dealt with.
I defintely don't want a relationship for awhile. I need to rebuild parts of my life that were destroyed (not just by others, but by me as well). Also, it is very hard for me to trust someone, and once you've lost my trust, it's gone forever. That's like talking about this whole lying business. But rebuilding parts of my life are not going to be easy, and it will take some time. I tend to second guess things myself, and that is going to get me in soem trouble someday. It already does on tests, you would have thought that I would have learned by now. I can be stubborn about a lot of things, and I shouldn't have to change myself, to be with someone else. People need to realize that no one is perfect and only certain imperfections can make a person perfect in someone's eyes. Do I feel like my whole life was destroyed? No. People just need to be sure of things, and not tell you one thing, then mean the exact opposite, for crying outloud, think things through before you say something, not because it is something you think someone else wants to hear.
I am thinking about moving after graduation around August. I can't say that I hate Illinois, but I would like to go somewhere else, even if just for a little while. I would possibly move with my best friend, but things are up in the air right now. It would be hard for me to leave my family though, but I would not go too far. I want to start a new part of my life, and a lot of things have changed since I made different choices in the past.
I am going to apply for grad school at my top choice school, and whether or not I get in, will either make or break things. I can't deal with rejection well, but I would like to see what would could happen.
As for the rest, it isn't going too bad...looking forward to OSU v. Northwestern in two weeks!
But I'm out for now, this is enough for me to write for now.
I don't understand why...
-People make some of the choices that they do.
-People can't be honest with you about their true feelings.
-Some things that happened over these past couple months happened the way they did.
-Things that you may think will take a short amount of time to get over, will take weeks or possibly months.
-People think something else, but they know something true...and are afraid to admit it.
-No matter how much someone makes you cry, you still care about them.
-People make choices that they have sixth sense feeling they know they will regret.
There is a lot more to that. But those are among the top of the heap there. Sure some things in the past need to be forgotten, and other things are hard to move on from.
I once befriended this girl back in high school because I had felt sorry for her because she didn't really have any friends. At first, I didn't understand, why it was hard for her to make friends or why she didn't have many friends. Throughout the time that I knew her, I would slowly pick up on small things, that indeed led to a bigger picture. She lied to a lot of people. She wasn't honest. She had a personality that was uncovered if one had truly gotten to know her. It was one of those types of personalities that sucked you in, and people befriended her because they felt sorry for her. Sure, I had felt connected with her in some way, as was my friend Amanda. But having a connection with someone even as a friend is considered important. ALTHOUGH it's those hidden underlying connections that one day will get you in trouble. Did I get in trouble down the road? I don't think that I would say that much. But before she could hurt me or my friends for that matter, I left. It was hard, but some things you figure out as you go along.
I think that some people are oblivious to the actions of others. For example, some people may tell you that they have changed, for say in order to win/take back a friend, when in fact, they have only "changed" per say the way they may talk to you, or act around you, when in reality, they haven't changed at all. You can't change a person. A person needs to be able to change on their own. Some people can also say they change because they are afraid of "loosing their latch" so to speak. If you are aware of things early on, and have recognized them, AND admitted to the person about them, open your eyes. You may think someone is being a good friend to you, but what are you getting out of it? Why are you sacrificing someone else's happiness for your own? I've made that mistake more than once, and oh boy I have learned from it.
That also saying things about lying. Right here is where I want to smack certain people. Okay... IF SOMEONE HAS LIED TO YOU BEFORE, WHETHER IT WAS MINOR OR VERY IMPORTANT, AND THEY HAVE SAID IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN, 99.99999999% CHANCE THAT IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. So many people are blind to that factor, or they choose to ignore it and push it to the back of their minds. One day, it will come back to bite them in the ass, because they did ignore it before. People can either be cautious or not cautious at all. But you would think the first time around would teach you something, but some people take awhile to realize certain things. That can either be bad or good.
Everyone is afraid of getting hurt by someone, if you aren't, then...well I don't really have anything for you. But if there are factors that stick out about people and you do have an instinct that they will hurt you, help yourself and get out. You don't have to feel like you are betraying the person, but in reality, you end up betraying yourself, and you may possibly end up at rock bottom then the other person may benefit from it. It isn't simple to tell who will hurt you and who won't, but for example if someone broke up/divorced/separated from someone, there is always a possibility that they can end up going back to their love. There are endless possibilities everywhere, but something like that can end up hurting you if you put your all into it.
That is like looking at the divorce rate here in America...sure it is ridiculously higher then it has been a couple of decades ago, but it goes to point out a few things. If someone has been divorced before, you are already increasing your risk of getting divorced from the next person you marry. Or if you have never been married, and marry someone that has been divorced before, once again, you increase your chances over 50% of getting divorced within the first three years of your marriage. Then again you have the other people who either marry too young, don't know what they are getting into if they get married to someone who has been married before, or make mistakes in general. People don't think things out enough, and end up making the wrong choices.
Before I get into general things (FOR ONCE), here is some advice I would offer anyone, that I have learned from personally and just from watching other people (no, I'm not that psychotic):
-It's okay to befriend someone because you feel sorry for them, but you will figure things out along the way, just don't shut them out, you may end up getting hurt (the things you see, not the person)
-Don't risk your own happiness for someone else's, you may end up screwing yourself over.
-If someone has lied to you before, they WILL do it again.
-If you have gone through periods of not talking to someone for reasons previously stated or your own personal reasons, your friendship is not as strong as you think it is.
-People will "change" because they are afraid of losing you, in reality, they haven't changed at all.
-There are things you can question, especially what is real, and what isn't.
-With some of things people say, how much do you believe?
-It may take you awhile to figure things out, but figure them out before it is too late.
-Walking out of someone's life/trying to forget about them, will not be as easy to walk back in.
-Only you can change yourself, not someone else.
-Get someone else's opinion about things, before making a choice if you are unsure, they might be able to help you. But not the person in which the hoice involves
-If someone says/does things to make you feel bad for them or to get your attention, they defintely aren't relationship material...they will be obsessive/psychotic later on, don't be obvlious to it.
-Don't say that you think one thing, but know something completely opposite to it, why are you hiding your true feelings?
-If you aren't sure about something, then back up from ALL situations, and figure things out on your own.
But you control who you let walk in and out of your life, but ask yourself this...if you let the right person go, will they come back? What would you do to get them back?
And if you know you can't forget about someone, maybe they are supposed to be there.
-Me-
This semester is almost over, and I am glad in a way because this semester has truly hit home for me personally, and I know a lot of my other friends are in the same boat. Things are slowly getting better, not as much as I would have liked or hoped, but they are getting there. One more semester...it is hard to believe that college will be over soon. I am actually looking forward to getting a job and making my own money. There are a lot of things here that I loved doing when I was younger, that don't interest me as much anymore. I don't like going out to party hardcore as much. I don't like dealing with things that don't need to be dealt with.
I defintely don't want a relationship for awhile. I need to rebuild parts of my life that were destroyed (not just by others, but by me as well). Also, it is very hard for me to trust someone, and once you've lost my trust, it's gone forever. That's like talking about this whole lying business. But rebuilding parts of my life are not going to be easy, and it will take some time. I tend to second guess things myself, and that is going to get me in soem trouble someday. It already does on tests, you would have thought that I would have learned by now. I can be stubborn about a lot of things, and I shouldn't have to change myself, to be with someone else. People need to realize that no one is perfect and only certain imperfections can make a person perfect in someone's eyes. Do I feel like my whole life was destroyed? No. People just need to be sure of things, and not tell you one thing, then mean the exact opposite, for crying outloud, think things through before you say something, not because it is something you think someone else wants to hear.
I am thinking about moving after graduation around August. I can't say that I hate Illinois, but I would like to go somewhere else, even if just for a little while. I would possibly move with my best friend, but things are up in the air right now. It would be hard for me to leave my family though, but I would not go too far. I want to start a new part of my life, and a lot of things have changed since I made different choices in the past.
I am going to apply for grad school at my top choice school, and whether or not I get in, will either make or break things. I can't deal with rejection well, but I would like to see what would could happen.
As for the rest, it isn't going too bad...looking forward to OSU v. Northwestern in two weeks!
But I'm out for now, this is enough for me to write for now.