nothing would make me happier than a hug
i tried to delete the name today.
again, i can't do it from here.
that's sad.
i'm trying to forget things.
i'm trying to remember when i was truely happy.
i think i know when it was.
i don't like that thought.
it leads back to that name.
i'm so sick of that name.
i was suckered in and i'm stuck now.
i'm definately a sucker for pretty words.
but i don't trust you and yours.
i don't see trust as one of my selling points anymore.
i'm so sick of being fucking decieved all the time
i'm so fucking sick of letting myself fall so hard everytime
i'm so fucking sick of being who i am
cause that's who i am
simple
easy
all emcompassingly pathetic
and it should end there
but i don't want it to
i need to ramble, need to vent
a cut, a scrape, a pool of deep red blood.
i almost long for it now.
i don't have a sharp enough knife to kill what i hate about myself
i don't have the will power to learn from what i've done already
i'm looking at the window, with your name there
i'm looking at the lies
i'm looking in a cracked, bloody mirror
the cigarette smoke enters my lungs and makes me cough.
it's far from grass. far from contentment
a walk would be nice, but it's cold again
and i'm sick of being cold.
i'm tired from all the walking i've done.
i want to step away.
3 weeks
that's all it's gonna take. 3 weeks
and you'll never see me again
never hear from me again.
why would you want to
why would you care.
it's an easy replacement.
my battle is an easy loss
i thought removing the picture would help.
it's not.
and this poetry isn't helping me either
this random string of hateful, spiteful, heartbroken words.
a game of frizbee is nice.
a game of quarter bounce is better
the ethanol would sooth me so tonight.
the blunt dead feeling i so long for.
fuck my addictions
fuck my failures
just plain fuck me.
the people i surround myself with aren't a tight enough shroud
the music that fills my ears will never drown your words
the smoke in my lungs will never choke me out
the glass before my eyes won't hide my tears
the drugs in my body can't numb this pain
this bitter taste you've left in my mouth is gonna be here for a while.
i can tell.
again, i can't do it from here.
that's sad.
i'm trying to forget things.
i'm trying to remember when i was truely happy.
i think i know when it was.
i don't like that thought.
it leads back to that name.
i'm so sick of that name.
i was suckered in and i'm stuck now.
i'm definately a sucker for pretty words.
but i don't trust you and yours.
i don't see trust as one of my selling points anymore.
i'm so sick of being fucking decieved all the time
i'm so fucking sick of letting myself fall so hard everytime
i'm so fucking sick of being who i am
cause that's who i am
simple
easy
all emcompassingly pathetic
and it should end there
but i don't want it to
i need to ramble, need to vent
a cut, a scrape, a pool of deep red blood.
i almost long for it now.
i don't have a sharp enough knife to kill what i hate about myself
i don't have the will power to learn from what i've done already
i'm looking at the window, with your name there
i'm looking at the lies
i'm looking in a cracked, bloody mirror
the cigarette smoke enters my lungs and makes me cough.
it's far from grass. far from contentment
a walk would be nice, but it's cold again
and i'm sick of being cold.
i'm tired from all the walking i've done.
i want to step away.
3 weeks
that's all it's gonna take. 3 weeks
and you'll never see me again
never hear from me again.
why would you want to
why would you care.
it's an easy replacement.
my battle is an easy loss
i thought removing the picture would help.
it's not.
and this poetry isn't helping me either
this random string of hateful, spiteful, heartbroken words.
a game of frizbee is nice.
a game of quarter bounce is better
the ethanol would sooth me so tonight.
the blunt dead feeling i so long for.
fuck my addictions
fuck my failures
just plain fuck me.
the people i surround myself with aren't a tight enough shroud
the music that fills my ears will never drown your words
the smoke in my lungs will never choke me out
the glass before my eyes won't hide my tears
the drugs in my body can't numb this pain
this bitter taste you've left in my mouth is gonna be here for a while.
i can tell.