(no subject)
Dan, accompanied by a nurse, hauls a backpack and box into a new room. The room is non-descript with stark white walls and window with bars. Though he's been reassured that this isn't prison, he's still leery of it. He sits down on the bed, looking more than a little bit at at a loss for what to do with himself.
After trying various positions of laying down on the bed, Dan sits down in the corner of the room. He could unpack, but that would make this feel like home, and this is not home. Another moment of debate leads him to removing his worn notebook from his backpack and flipping to a blank page.
I'm in a high-surveillance room. I brought it on myself and in a way, I agree with them that it might be for the best. Maybe not the best for me, but the best in general. I don't even know how to write this without sounding whiny and clingy, but that's very much how I feel.
I had to leave Nate behind and I'm only mildly unclear as to whose benefit that was for. I think that's what makes me feel worst about this situation. I'm that bad for Nate. But maybe Dr. Nolan's right about these things moving in cycles. Maybe moving me right now can help me break it.
I had a session yesterday, after Dr. Nolan found out I had left. It was... difficult? But at the same time, it felt good. Productive, even. My stomach feels lighter. There are still things to talk about, but we don't have to pile them on apparently.
I guess I'll lay down, or something, because I'm not leaving the room.
Dan shuts the notebook and stuffs it under his mattress. Instead of laying down, Dan re-arranges the furniture so that his bed is now under the window. Kneeling on the bed, Dan looks out the window, cheek resting against the bars.
After trying various positions of laying down on the bed, Dan sits down in the corner of the room. He could unpack, but that would make this feel like home, and this is not home. Another moment of debate leads him to removing his worn notebook from his backpack and flipping to a blank page.
I'm in a high-surveillance room. I brought it on myself and in a way, I agree with them that it might be for the best. Maybe not the best for me, but the best in general. I don't even know how to write this without sounding whiny and clingy, but that's very much how I feel.
I had to leave Nate behind and I'm only mildly unclear as to whose benefit that was for. I think that's what makes me feel worst about this situation. I'm that bad for Nate. But maybe Dr. Nolan's right about these things moving in cycles. Maybe moving me right now can help me break it.
I had a session yesterday, after Dr. Nolan found out I had left. It was... difficult? But at the same time, it felt good. Productive, even. My stomach feels lighter. There are still things to talk about, but we don't have to pile them on apparently.
I guess I'll lay down, or something, because I'm not leaving the room.
Dan shuts the notebook and stuffs it under his mattress. Instead of laying down, Dan re-arranges the furniture so that his bed is now under the window. Kneeling on the bed, Dan looks out the window, cheek resting against the bars.