I’ll Take Second Chances for $1000, Alex! | Chapter Three: Final Jeopardy
Chapter Three: Final Jeopardy
“So, you hooked up with him again?” Katie’s eyebrows were going to meet her hairline at this rate. “After the way stuff went down last time?”
Jared just lay on his bed, and nodded at each question as they came. Katie got on the bed next to him, made him scooch over so they could both lie side by side and stare at the ceiling.
“You gonna see him again?”
Jared groaned, closed his eyes. “That’s the thing, Katie. I have no fucking clue. We don’t - he didn’t - we didn’t even talk about it.” He knew his voice was quiet, and it was hard to hide the disappointment.
“Jared.” She didn’t yell, didn’t scold. The calm voice freaked Jared out more. “You like him.”
Jard had hated Jensen for long enough that it kind of stripped all his gears to put those words to how he felt. “What? Well. I guess. I mean, of course, I wouldn’t have done that stuff if I didn’t like him.”
Katie turned on her side, propped her head up on her elbow. He met her eyes, and she shook her head. “You like him more than that. I think you care about him, more than you want to, even. That’s just how you are, sweetie. I’ve known you too long.”
Jared didn’t answer, eyes fixed back on the ceiling. Katie was right. He was right about the academic stuff, but she nailed the emotional questions every single time.
“And Jensen? How does he feel about you?”
Jared hesitated. Jensen definitely thought he was hot. He listened to him talk and they had a lot in common. But it wasn’t like they were caring and sharing yet. He couldn’t really say. He shrugged. “Don’t know.”
“Yeah.”
They were enjoying the quiet, when Matt smacked Jared’s door open, eyes covered with his hand. “Is Katie naked? Please tell me Katie is naked.” He peeked between his fingers, grinning.
“Perv, shut up.” Katie kicked out, and her foot connected with Matt’s thigh, nearly knocking him flat.
“Matty, do we have to talk about what gay means again? When one guy likes another in that special way...”
“Okay, okay. Okay! I don’t need the hairy details. Worth a shot.” Matt looked at Katie, who was still lying on the bed. “Looking fine, Miss Cassidy, by the way. And I’m not gay, if you didn’t know.”
“Oh, I know. Did you need something, Mr. Cohen?”
“Uh, no?”
“Then close the door and get out. Please.” She smiled at him and he backed out with a flourish.
“One day, milady. One day.”
“Dream on!” She threw a pillow at the door as it closed behind Matt.
Jared saw the chance to change the subject and leaped on it, desperate. The knot in his stomach was not going away, and if anything was tightening the longer they talked.
“Which reminds me. Since Matt is pretty much never going to win your heart, let’s talk about Chris.”
Katie flopped on her back again. “Oh god. Do we have to?”
A flare of something unpleasant raced up his back. “Why, did he say something to you? Do I have to drive to Austin to kick his ass? I’ve got a good foot on him, Cassidy, I could do it.”
Patting him on the shoulder, Katie laughed. “There, there, He-Man. He’s been well, not a perfect gentleman, but I’m not exactly a perfect lady, now am I?”
“Katherine Marie Cassidy, have you been sexting?” Jared sat up, hand on his chest in mock outrage.
Jared’s computer chimed. “Ah, saved by the bell!” Katie grinned. “Didn’t you tell me you were all hot about some grant thingie? Better check your messages.”
Pointing at her, Jared rolled out of the bed. “We’re not done here, young lady. And yeah, Collins is supposed to send me some extra reading, and the results on my grant proposal. Let me just check.” Jared woke up his computer, and blinked at his Inbox. Rubbed his eyes and looked again. He clicked the email open, eyes scanning it, smile breaking wide on his face.
“Jeez, you always get this excited over extra reading?” Katie sat up, looking at him.
“Katie. Katie!”
“What?!”
He held out his arms and yelled, “I’m gonna be on Jeopardy!”
“Holy shit! You are not!” She launched herself at him, and Jared caught all of her, spinning and falling onto the bed as they cackled with laughter.
Matt came barging back in. “Oh my god, is she naked now?”
Katie let Jared bask in the glory of getting selected for the college tournament for almost a whole hour before she started planning out his next three months. When he mentioned Christmas break and spending time with his family, she looked at him like he had grown an extra head, and asked if he could multi-task or not?
A little intimidated, Jared nodded and decided he’d save his questions for the end.
It wasn’t ‘til he was lying in bed that night that he let his mind drift to Jensen. Should he tell Jensen he got in? Could Jensen have been selected, too? Jared shut his eyes and exhaled. It would be a lot easier if he had a clue where he stood with Jensen. Were they even friends? Were they more? Sort of friends with benefits? More like fuckbuddies without the fucking.
Sighing, he reached for his phone, opened up a new message to Jensen, already hearing Katie’s words echoing in his head.
Hey. You up?
He sat there thumbing through old messages as he waited. When the phone buzzed, he almost dropped it.
Yep. What’s going on?
Heard from Jeopardy folks. I’m in. He was really excited enough for an exclamation point, but he didn’t want to make it sound like gloating.
Jared sent it and waited, and nearly choked on his own spit when the phone rang. Incoming Call: Jensen. He blinked at it, thumbed at the phone to answer.
“Hello?”
“Holy shit, me too, man. I got the email today. I was wondering if - hey congrats.” Jensen’s voice was low and rough, full of warmth and Jared realized he was smiling into the darkness. He almost missed the actual words, he was just so happy to hear Jensen’s voice, all of a sudden.
It registered, and he replied. “No way! We’re both going to L.A. Fucking awesome.”
Jensen laughed over the line, and Jared realized he just couldn’t stop grinning. A few months ago, he would have been annoyed and frustrated that Jensen Ackles was going to be there. He’d be worried that it was going to be the 2008 Quiz Bowl debacle all over again.
But now, he was just happy he was going to do this crazy thing with Jensen. With...whoever Jensen was to him. He cringed a little at what Katie would think of this. He feared there would be punishment for fraternizing with the enemy or some such.
Might be worth it.
Jensen was continuing, and before Jared knew it, it was three in the morning and they were talking about football and favorite books and best movie quotes and his phone battery dying was the only reason he cut the conversation short. Jensen sounded equally reluctant to go, asked him about his Christmas break plans. Two more weeks of classes, a week of semester exams and then he’d be heading to Austin. Jensen was staying in Austin until the 22nd. They’d overlap by a day and a half, it sounded like.
Jared said as much and Jensen agreed. It was quiet on the line. “You wanna get together?” Jared threw it out there, not sure why he was nervous, why it meant so much what Jensen said next.
There was a moment, a hesitation longer than he expected before Jensen answered. “Yeah, that’d be cool.”
“Great. Yeah. Okay, better get to sleep.”
“Yeah.” Jensen’s voice was a little weird, but Jared wrote it off to sleepiness and they hung up.
Jared was halfway to Austin when he got a text from Jensen, asking him to come by his place when he could. He had tried not to be hurt that he hadn’t heard from Jensen for the entire three weeks. He’d sent the occasional text, but only got brief responses.
After skimming the text, Jared called Katie, finally admitted he was seeing Jensen again. He held the phone away from his ear for a second.
Her voice was overloud, and frustrated. “Jared, it’s a booty call. You’re too smart for this. He goes weeks without calling you, and then he just wants you over at his place? Booty. Call.”
Jared groaned. “Please stop saying those words.”
“Stop doing things that make me say them. Booty call.” Katie paused. “You’re just better than this, Jared. You deserve more.”
Jared chewed his bottom lip. He liked Jensen, and he thought maybe Jensen liked him beyond the sex, but was Katie onto something? Jensen didn’t stay in touch very much, and they did talk the most when it was going to lead to something. Was he just a goal of Jensen’s? Fuck the Boy Genius all grown up? It made him feel kind of sick, more than a little confused.
“I...listen, I’ll talk to him tonight. See where we are, make sure we’re on the same page.” He swallowed, continued. “I like him, Katie. When we do talk, when we are together, it feels so good.”
“And the rest of the time?” Her voice was soft, careful.
He nodded, held the phone tight, just breathing. “I should go. Traffic’s picking up.” The traffic was the same as it had been, but he needed to think.
“Don’t get hurt, Jared. I don’t want to see that. I get violent when people hurt my friends, and I’ve got my athletic scholarship to think of.”
Jared snorted. Loved Katie that little bit more and signed off, tossing the phone into the seat. He had two hours to work this out in his head, and he’d never needed that long for any problem before.
Two hours later, he pulled up in his parents’ driveway, and had no idea what to think or what to do. He’d decided about ten minutes into thinking about it that he didn’t have enough information to draw a conclusion, so he reviewed the periodic table and planets and their moons, then all the stars past the sun in order of brightness. Worked his way through the English monarchy, recalculated pi to the 50th place.
Then he thought about Jensen some more, but he felt lovesick and stupid, so he worked on the design in his mind that he’d been fiddling with for a robot he wanted to build when he had some spare time. Maybe the summer.
He’d resolved some power source issues when the exits for Austin started, and had successfully not thought about Jensen for twenty whole minutes.
Dinner, dessert and Jared was up in his room reading his collected works of Asimov when his phone buzzed. He had decided to let Jensen come to him, even if that might actually feed Katie’s booty call argument. Jared might be horny and wanting, but he wasn’t going to look needy, and he wasn’t going to beg.
You there? Can you come over? Just hanging out watching a movie.
Jared smiled, texted back, and waited for the address to Jensen’s apartment. He was at Jensen’s door twenty minutes later, heart pounding in his throat. The door opened, and damn, that was a sight for sore eyes. Jensen, barefoot, just wearing cargo shorts and a long sleeve tee. He had a beer in his hand, waved Jared in with it, smile crinkling up the skin around his eyes.
The apartment was typical college, secondhand furniture, posters tacked to the wall. A little cleaner, but Jared kind of expected that from Jensen for some reason. He always seemed too put together to live in a pigsty.
They settled on the couch, Jared sipping his own beer. “So, your roommates already head home?”
“Yeah, Chris took off this afternoon; he was the last one.”
Jared nodded. The movie was playing, and he was sort of watching. Mostly he was thinking about Jensen, and how close he was and then he wasn’t thinking about that anymore because Jensen’s hand was on his neck, skin hot on his.
“Let’s not waste time with the movie, whaddaya say?” Jensen tugged a little and Jared came where he was pulled. He kissed Jensen, tried to soften it, make it an exploration, but Jensen was going hard at his mouth, little sounds escaping, fingers clasping Jared’s neck.
“Jesus, you get me so hot, Jay, you know that?”
Jared’s upstairs brain, prodigious as it was, knew he had questions for Jensen. Things he wanted to know. It battled with the downstairs brain even as Jared pulled Jensen bodily to him, across him, heard the sharp exhalation at being manhandled even as Jensen murmured, “Fuck yeah” into his mouth and settled into a wide straddle across Jared’s thighs.
“What do you want, Jensen?” It was a question for the moment, but a question that was weighing heavy on Jared, too. He needed it answered. Jared dug his hands into Jensen’s hips, waited.
Jensen groaned, pressed his mouth to Jared’s neck, wet and urgent.
“Wanna fuck you. You want me to fuck you?” Jensen rocked hard against him, trapped Jared’s already hard dick against his belly.
Jared did want Jensen to fuck him. He did. He ached for it, body gone tight. But he had this voice echoing in his head that said maybe this was what Jensen had been angling for. Called him to his house at night, and five minutes later wanted to fuck him. Was this is all it was? Did he care?
As much as Jared’s dick protested, it turned out Jared did care. He was going to get hurt. He felt it it deep down, a truth staring back at him.
He pulled back, caught Jensen’s eyes. Nothing but lust there, and while that did funny things to his stomach, Jared was somehow, maybe stupidly, angling for more. He’d always been a bit of a closet romantic, after all.
“Wait, wait. Jensen, I need to ask you something.” Jared’s hand rested on Jensen’s hips, and he noticed the hitch in Jensen’s motion.
“Yeah, sure.” Jensen’s mouth was back on Jared’s neck, the voice still thick with desire.
“No, I’m serious. I - “ Jared paused. He berated himself for being so unprepared. “Is this - are we dating?” He cringed. Wow, that was not smooth.
Jensen rocked back now, stared down at Jared.
“We’re having fun, aren’t we?” And Jared didn’t have to be a genius to notice Jensen hadn’t answered the question.
“We are. You ever think you want more than fun?”
Jensen frowned. “Like what? We don’t even live in the same town. This is - dude, you’re 18.” Jensen was up and on his feet, and Jared was missing the weight of him, the heat already.
“Yeah, and I’ve been older than my years for a long time.” Jared shrugged, ran his hands through his hair, and blew out a long breath. “Sorry, it’s - I wanna know if this thing with us -” He gestured between them. “-is just hooking up or, or more.”
Now Jensen looked a little pissed. “You think I’m using you? You think this isn’t a two way street?”
Jared hadn’t said those words, but the fact that they came so quickly to Jensen’s mind and mouth was pretty telling all on its own.
“Didn’t say that. I didn’t say that at all.” Jared got to his feet, a new kind of tension running through him, an ache behind his eyes. It was either walk away or put it all out there. Jared didn’t know he’d reached this conclusion, but there it was in his mind. He thought he could just take what Jensen was offering and be happy, but it turned out he couldn’t.
Shrugging, Jared realized he couldn’t even get mad. It was so clear that Jensen didn’t have enough invested in Jared to even go out of his way to see him. There was really no point in any of this. Aside from the sex, which he was rightly going to miss. “But if you are, I guess I’m using you too. The fact is, I like you, and I’m willing to work for it. Willing to, I don’t know, fight for something more. But if you’re not?” He shrugged again, hands wide.
Jensen looked at him, and looked at him. And then he looked away, head shaking a little, and Jared felt something crack in his chest. Like someone stepping on a twig, the tiniest sound, but enough to alert a predator, enough to get your heart ripped out, bloody and sudden.
Jared nodded. “Yeah, okay. That’s. Hey, it’s been fun. Let’s just. Leave it there.” Jared put out his hand, and Jensen stared at it before shaking it. When he looked up at Jared, it was with the falsest smile, the hollowest gaze.
“Yeah, man. Nice while it lasted. I get it. You take care.” Jensen released his hand and backed away, and the fact that his mouth was still red from Jared’s kisses did not make it any easier to turn for the door. It would be so much simpler to shove Jensen against the nearest surface and forget about the last few minutes.
Instead, Jared replied, “You too. And hey, I’ll see you in L.A. Good luck studying.”
The next few months seemed to flow by like water, fast and unrelenting. Much like Katie. The practice sessions with the buzzer she’d somehow acquired were rigorous. She even set up fake studio lights, read the questions out loud like Trebek, made Jared talk betting strategies even though he was perfectly capable of calculating the possibilities on the fly.
And she found material for him to study. She reasoned that sure, Jared could remember almost anything he’d read or been taught, but there were millions of things he had not read. And Jared was starting to think she expected him to read all of them before February.
Katie drilled him on actual questions from Jeopardy everywhere they went. Jared was fairly sure she’d convinced Matt to create an app for her to use, as she always read the questions off her phone. Matt was easily convinced. And threatened. Jared chose not to know the details.
“The alternate name of this 16th century Italian painting also means ‘cheerful’.”
What is the Mona Lisa? And the alternate name is La Giaconda.”
“Show-off.” Katie tapped the phone. “These two cities were the only two Confederate state capitals not captured by Union forces.” She smirked at him and Jared rolled his eyes.
“What are Austin and...” Naturally he knew Austin. And other was... “Tallahassee.”
“Published posthumously in 1970, his first novel, “A Happy Death,” features a protagonist named Patrice Mersault.”
“Who was Camus?”
“German is the official national language. Croatian, Slovene and Hungarian are each official in one of its states.”
“What is Austria? You know, Katie, it wouldn’t kill you to tell me the category sometimes.”
She raised a finger. “Only when absolutely necessary!” She peered at her phone, scrolled. “See, here. Category: Jazz & Blues Nicknames. McKinley Morganfield.”
Jared looked at her, couldn’t help the smile. “If I win, I’m going to give you a cut.”
“Damn straight. Question?” Katie flicked her fingers at him, demanding.
“Who is Muddy Waters?”
She stared for a second before looking back at the phone. “Shit, your brain is impressive.”
The good news was that he didn’t have time to think about Jensen, to wonder if he’d done the right thing. Katie assured him he had, and hell, even Jensen had seemed to agree, but maybe that was the problem.
He’d just closed up the World Facts Almanac one night and lay on his bed, thinking. As usual. Did he give up too easy on Jensen? Did everyone Jensen hooked up with just give him what he wanted? Which was apparently sex, and lots of it, and nothing else?
Jared remembered a look of something like surprise when he’d pushed the point. And then Jensen had dodged. He sighed. He couldn’t very well force Jensen to like him enough to make it happen. Resolved, Jared decided to focus on the semester and getting ready for the tournament and not think about one Jensen Ackles.
He wished himself luck on that last one, and opened the almanac. The capitals of African countries weren’t going to learn themselves.
Jared made it about two weeks before he cracked. He knew Katie had been texting and talking to Chris a lot, and had even driven up to Austin one weekend, without Jared. He hated that his own hometown felt like a minefield with Jensen there.
He’d been given leave to study for one of his actual classes by Taskmaster Katie one Sunday night. Jared suspected it was that Katie herself had a paper to write but he still took the chance and ran with it.
All the way to the library. With Katie.
“Katie.” The itch needed scratching.
“Hmm.” She didn’t look up, typing on her laptop, pencil stuck through her ponytail.
“Katie.”
Her eyes flicked up, then down again. “Six more pages before I can sleep tonight. Talk and type, dude. Talk and type.” Her fingers kept flying across the keyboard.
“It’s about Jensen.”
The noises stopped, the laptop lid slowly closed, and Katie propped her elbows on the table, chin on hands. “Okay.”
Her reaction was all Jared needed to assure himself he was right to ask. Katie had information to share, and had clearly decided to wait for Jared to ask for it.
“When you were in Austin, did you see him?” Just talking about Katie seeing him had Jared’s palms sweating. He was clearly not over Jensen Ackles.
She nodded.
“Did you talk to him?”
Another nod. Her face was impassive, unrevealing. Downright unnatural for Katie.
“Did he - “ He stopped, looked at her, pleading.
“Yeah, Jared. He asked about you. I told him you were fine. That you were training to wipe the floor with the other contestants, himself included.” The spark was suddenly there in her eyes again, and Jared was relieved until her words sunk in.
“You didn’t.” Jared rubbed a hand across his face.
“Damn right I did. And you will.” Katie leaned in, pointing. “I have no soft fuzzies for the guy. He hurt my Jared. Though -” She stopped, but it was too late. Jared knew Katie too well.
“What?”
She sighed. “Well, this is no excuse, and I’m not advocating forgiveness of any sort, but Chris told me some stuff. About Jensen.” Katie looked down, away. “Not sure I should...”
“I don’t give a shit if you should, you will. Come on, that’s not cool.”
Katie tapped her fingers on table until Jared reached over and covered her hand with his.
“With no other evidence, I can only conclude that I wasn’t good enough for Jensen to date, so if you can dispel that conclusion, you should. My self-esteem is at stake, Katie.”
Eyes rolling, Katie continued. “I don’t know why I put up with your ridiculousness. Okay, okay. Fine. Jensen and Chris have been buds about as long as we have. Freshman year at UT, Jensen started dating this guy, Brent. First guy he’d ever, y’know.”
Licking suddenly dry lips, Jared nodded.
“And they went out for a few months, and Chris said Jensen was fucking over the moon. Happy. And then Brent.” She huffed out a breath. “Seriously, it was shitty, but doesn’t mean I want you chasing down Jensen Ackles for a do-over. Hear me?”
“I can’t predict the future, Katie. Haven’t figured out the math yet.”
Her eyes went serious and steady on his before she continued. “Brent had himself a gay crisis - or more like a straight crisis - and broke it off with Jensen. In public. And in the process outed Jensen to pretty much his entire baseball team.” She paused. “It was rough for him for awhile.”
Jared’s heart thudded heavy and sick. “So, he-”
“According to Chris, he’s never had another boyfriend. All one night stands and hookups.” She cringed as that sank in. “Sorry.”
“That explains a lot, Katie. A lot. He never told me...” Jared wondered. Did he give Jensen a chance to explain? Would Jensen have?
“He doesn’t. Doesn’t talk about it anymore. Chris can’t even bring Brent up, apparently.” Katie looked sad, a strange look on her. “Shit, I shouldn’t have told you, right?”
“No, you were - well, maybe not - but you did it for me, and I appreciate it, Katie. I really do.”
“Sap.” But she was smiling again, and opening her laptop. “Back to work. I’ve got a new batch of questions for you when I finish this paper.”
Jared’s mind was now in two places. Here in this library and also in Austin. He wanted to reach out to Jensen, but once he realized he could hardly explain why without making him feel exposed all over again, he dropped that idea.
With a deep sigh, and a renewed ache in his heart, Jared went back to work.
Los Angeles, February 2012
Jared had been surprised to find out that what looked like two weeks on TV for the college tournament was going to take only two days to film. He was less surprised, because the universe had a cruel sense of humor, that the first person he saw when he made it backstage was Jensen.
Jared entered the green room, and there Jensen was, reading a magazine. Shoulders relaxed under the burnt orange hoodie for UT Austin. Jared shrugged in his own sweatshirt, feeling sweaty already. And now he had to talk to Jensen. Or at least figure out how to be civil, to show he didn’t miss him, to lie to his fucking gorgeous face and pretend it didn’t hurt, that it didn’t suck out loud.
“Hey, Jared.” While he was psyching himself up, Jensen had turned and stood, tossing the magazine on the table. Jared crossed his arms, remembering he wasn’t exactly talking to Jensen. Six months ago, he’d seen Jensen in a room not unlike this one, had felt the same tangle of anger and lust and frustration, and how the world did turn, dropping him right back into the same morass, feeling much the same way. Only this time he had far more intimate knowledge of Jensen, and an uncomfortable sense of having secrets he shouldn’t, and that made this all the more awkward.
He nodded. “Jensen, good to see you.” Jared grabbed a bottle of water from the nearby table and opened his mouth to say something else, he didn’t know what, when the door opened and two more contestants entered, Harvard and Emory. Jared decided - and yeah, Katie had suggested it - that he think of the people as just colleges to beat, not to get personal about it. He was going to try. She had a point about Jared having a soft spot for people, less of a killer instinct than she insisted he needed to take the grand prize.
The room was full soon enough, fifteen nervous college students and Jared could just see Jensen from across the room as he settled into a chair in the corner. Unlike last time they were in this environment, Jensen wasn’t holding court, wasn’t drawing the moths to his flame. He was just sitting there, glancing around the room, nodding at people, contemplating his hands clasped between his knees. It was unnerving. Jared had been expecting an unaffected Jensen, the same confident guy he’d known, and this was a different person. If he hadn’t seen Jensen in competitive mode before, in sports and academics, he’d think he was nervous. But he didn’t seem that way.
He just seemed. Quiet.
Jared pulled out the novel he’d been permitted in and cracked it open. Just then, an assistant called the first three contestants, randomly chosen for the first quarterfinal match. Jared tried not to spaz when they left, found himself looking at Jensen, who smiled. It calmed him a little, and he didn’t examine why. And didn’t have time to do much else but reread the same page in his book ten times before he heard his name. He was up against the guy from Emory and a redheaded girl from Berkeley. He got to his feet, wiped his hands on his thighs and right before he left, he heard someone cough.
Jensen.
He jerked his eyes to Jensen’s and they were alone in the room for a second. Good luck. He mouthed it, and Jared nodded, jerkily. And then Jensen smiled at him, small and private, even in this room of strangers. Jared felt the warmth of it down low and moving on up. He met the smile and turned to go, his step light and easy. Things were screwed up, but he wasn’t thinking about it. He was thinking about winning, and Jensen, and the two went together nicely.
The categories for the first round felt like they were written for Jared, from Chemistry to the Solar System to Science Fiction. It was over in a matter of minutes, and he survived the mini-interview with minimal stammering and then proceeded to clear the board. Double Jeopardy went the same, and Jared had his timing down, had the answers, felt like he couldn’t go wrong. By the time Final Jeopardy popped up and Alex announced the current scores, Jared had won. Mathematically, he couldn’t be caught. Berkeley looked crushed and Emory’s knuckles were white on the buzzer.
Jared felt bad, but it didn’t actually stop him from correctly answering a word origin question for Final Jeopardy and finishing high in the money. He virtually floated back to the green room, high on the studio applause. When he got there, Jensen’s eyes jerked up and met his when he entered. His face lit up when he saw Jared, like daylight on a cloudy day, and Jared felt a hard thump of emotion. Jensen could smile at him, but things were still the same. Jensen still holding him at arm’s length, unwilling to take a risk. Jared nodded, smiled, and Jensen clenched his fist, a little victory pump. Distracted enough that they had to call his name twice.
Jared gestured over his shoulder at the door and Jensen went, and left Jared sitting there, stomach in knots, giddy with success and twisted up at the same time.
Jensen won his quarterfinal too. The semifinals were this afternoon. The breakneck pace of taping was unexpected in a way. Knowing it would go like this and actually sitting in the room with six fewer super smart college students after lunch waiting to be called was a whole other thing. Lunch itself had been an ordeal, forced to make polite chitchat with all the contestants, including Jensen.
And while he was contemplating his chocolate pudding cup, he had a moment to be angry with Jensen for being so nice that morning. Jared wasn’t an idiot - clearly. He resolved to stop acknowledging the smiles. To just be professional and distant. He had his own heart to look out for, and a tournament to try and win.
This time when they called the names, it was Harvard, and Jared. And Jensen. They looked at each other, and Jared realized he had been so caught up in all of it, he hadn’t thought of playing Jensen. And definitely not playing him before the final. They nodded at each other, but Jared was abruptly nervous, shades of the old Quiz Bowl and this confident, beautiful boy looking back at him. Because Jensen had returned from the quarterfinal match with some of his swagger back.
But Jared was ready. More than ready. They set up at their podiums. Harvard was between them.
“Welcome back, semifinalists. Let’s get started. The categories for the Jeopardy round are: Mythology, 12-Letter Words, True Love, Familiar Expressions, Name that Carmaker and “F” in Science. Jared, you select first.”
And then, it was on.
Jared attacked the “F” in Science column, sweeping it from the other contestants. He missed buzzing in on the first question in Familiar Expressions, and Jensen took it. He ran most of that column, losing on one to Harvard, before blazing into True Love.
Jared got the first question, Harvard the second, and Jensen the third. The fourth was the Daily Double. Shit. Jensen had $2,200 already.
“How much do you want to risk, Jensen?”
Jensen hesitated a moment, and that moment was all it took to make Jared cut a quick look over at him. Jensen always knew. He didn’t hesitate, ever. Jensen looked at him, too. Barely.
“Jensen?”
“I’ll bet it all.” Jensen’s voice was unsteady and that had Jared’s attention.
“Very well, a true Daily Double. And the answer is: ‘On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave these to me.’
Jared’s head provided the answer: Lords a’ Leaping. But somehow, the time was running out, and Jensen hadn’t answered.
“What is - what is -”
Jared looked at Jensen. Jensen looked at Alex, his voice even and steady when he responded “What is a second chance?”
The audience gasped. Alex looked flummoxed and Harvard snorted. Jared felt his mouth go completely dry, his heart racing.
“No, sorry, Jensen. The correct response is: What are Lords a’ Leaping. That knocks you to zero, I’m afraid.” Alex turned to the cameras. “Let’s take our commercial break and chat with these three young men when we return.”
When he was sure they were no longer recording, Jared put down his buzzer, unclenched his hand and looked at Jensen, who was resolutely staring at his podium, cheeks blazing. Jensen. Blushing. The world was clearly spinning backwards.
Jensen knew that answer. Hell, everyone in the audience and most of the nine million people watching knew that answer. So. There was only one impossible explanation. Jensen, possibly the most competitive person Jared had ever known, had thrown away $2,200 to make a point. To Jared. His always active brain was going into overdrive, repeating the facts. Jensen. Who hated to lose anything had just risked the tournament victory to show Jared what - that he cared? That he wanted another shot?
A voice from the side of the stage caught his attention. “Jared. Eyes front, please.” Right, right. No chatting with the other contestants during the breaks. Shit. He faced front, waited for the red light on the camera, tried to control his breathing. Tried to ignore the way Jensen’s head had jerked up when Jared had been reprimanded. Time to play the game. Time to settle his heartbeat into a safe range for just a little longer.
By the time Double Jeopardy wrapped, Jared’s palm was sweating against the buzzer. Jensen had been unrelenting, and it had turned into a two-man battle, just like at the tryouts all those months ago. Harvard wasn’t snorting now, as Jensen systematically took him apart on the French Literature category. Jared dominated the Academy Awards category, they split the U.S. Presidents and descended on the SAT: Verbal category with a vengeance. Jared had actually earned perfect scores on the SAT, but Jensen was no slouch, either. They went back and forth, and Harvard clicked his buzzer ineffectually the whole way. The last square on the entire board was the Daily Double and it was Jared’s. He had a lead on Jensen, but only $800 dollars. He bet $5,000 and the audience inhaled. From the corner of his eye, he saw Jensen smile, head shaking.
“Okay, a large wager in the final moments. Very bold, Jared. And the answer is: When given freedom of action or choice, you’re given this type of line that encircles the world.”
Jared nodded, thought it through, and replied, “What is latitude?”
“That is correct. And with that $5000 added to your total, that leaves you in the lead with $19,800. Jensen behind you with $14,000 and Ben with $7, 600. And here is your Final Jeopardy category: Mammals. Please enter your wagers.”
Jared stared at his board for a second. He knew about a lot of mammals. He tapped the screen for a second before scribbling a number.
They cut to break, and Jared put down the buzzer, put both hands on the edge of the podium and leaned there, just breathing. The makeup girl came over and dabbed at his face and he concentrated on getting low enough that she could reach him. Jared didn’t look at Jensen. He couldn’t. It was all he wanted to do, and the last thing he should in that moment if he hoped to pull this off.
Jared got the question right, scrawling Yak within the first few seconds, and putting his pen down. He won handily, but Jensen got in there, too. He’d bet it all, true to form, and ended with $28,000 to Jared’s $29,800. Jared only needed to win, and Jensen knew it. No wildcards this round: Jared was going to the finals and Jensen was out.
Jared grinned his way through being paraded on-stage with the other two finalists, selected earlier. Yale and Wellesley, which meant it would be a good match. Jensen had been ushered off-stage.
Half an hour later, all the rules for the final matches the next day explained, Jared finally got to collect his stuff and head out. He looked around for Jensen, hoping to talk to him, to shake him, to he didn’t even know - maybe to kiss him. Jensen had lost. He’d given up a competitive advantage to make a grand romantic gesture. It was so far outside what Jared had known of Jensen to date, it simply didn’t feel real.
He got his phone back from the green room assistant and turned it on. Unsurprisingly, it had numerous texts from an ecstatic and crazed Katie waiting somewhere with his parents. It was the one sitting there at the bottom of the list that caught his eye.
It was from Jensen.
Knew you could do it. Congrats. Meet me?
Jared stared at the screen, heart up in his throat again. There was a small voice that told him to be careful, to remember how weak he was when it came to Jensen. The question was, did he need to be strong? Or did he need to get to know this new Jensen instead?
Thanks. You were awesome. And yeah. Where?
They made a plan, and Jared met his parents, caught Katie in a hug, laughing the whole time. His mom was crying, so proud and he was reminded he still had the final round. His dad showed him his arm, still red from his mother clutching it so tight.
“Imagine if it had been close, son. I might need surgery. Think of your old man and wipe out the competition tomorrow, yeah?” His Dad grinned at him, pulling him into a sideways hug.
“Yeah, what your dad said! Kill ‘em!” Katie was bouncing around the sidewalk, shadowboxing. Jared pulled her into a half-nelson, kissed the top of her head.
“That’s not what he said. And thanks, coach. Thanks.” Katie went calmer next to him and hugged him as they strolled down the walk toward the hotel.
“Yeah, you’re welcome. You did it, though. Domination. Smooth as silk, except well, what was with Jensen? What was that, Jared?”
He shook his head, eyes on the back of his parents’ heads ahead of him. “I don’t know. He made it perfectly clear what he could give last time we talked, so I don’t know - what do you -” Jared stopped himself, considered his next words. “He wants to see me. Tonight.”
Katie stopped walking, hand on his stomach. “Jared.” Her voice switched to serious in a breath. “This is not a good idea.”
“It might not be, I know. But Katie. I - I need to - I have to find out if -” He left the sentence unfinished, because honestly, Jared didn’t know what he needed to do. See Jensen, he guessed. Look into his eyes, like he couldn’t do onstage. Surely that would tell him the truth.
She stopped him, holding his hand. “Jared. Look at me. Do you like him or hate him at this point?”
Avoiding her eyes, Jared looked at the sidewalk and then when she squeezed his hand, up to her concerned eyes.
She took a deep breath. “Wow, it’s worse than I thought. You really like him.”
He shrugged. He could hardly deny it. Underneath it all, he did really like Jensen, and if that was dumb, well, on this one thing in life, he was going to be dumb, it looked like.
Katie smiled, worry apparent in her expression. She squeezed his hand and let it go. “Okay, but Jared? Be careful.”
“Always.”
“Never!”
“Okay, sometimes.”
“Fair enough.” She shook her head slightly. “And I swear to god, if this screws up your competitive edge tomorrow...”
“He’s not even in the finals, Katie!” They started walking, catching back up to Jared’s parents.
“Irrelevant. Athletes always avoid sex the night before a big game. You should do the same.”
Jared slapped his hand over her mouth. “Please, a little louder. Not sure my mother caught all of that.”
She squirmed a little, but when he let go, she whispered, “Sorry.” Katie paused. “But don’t you dare.” Pointed at him in a vaguely threatening manner and then went to talk to his mom.
Back at the hotel, Jared changed into more casual clothes, scrubbed all the TV makeup off his face and the four of them went out to have dinner. Jared told them about the whole day backstage and they told him about the matches he didn’t get to watch and Jared filled his belly with good Italian food before they headed back. Jared had his own room, thanks to the TV folks, and he’d invited Jensen to meet him there. Jensen had surprised him by suggesting an all-night diner a few blocks down instead.
Jensen was already in a booth when Jared arrived, stirring a straw around in a coke. When the bell over the door rang, he looked up and licked his lips. A nervous gesture, and it sat wrong on Jensen’s perfect face. Jared sat down across from him, the leather creaking under him as he did. The waitress appeared and Jared ordered some cheese fries and a Coke.
“Didn’t you eat dinner?” Jensen arched one eyebrow.
“Oh yeah, we had this huge dinner at Franconi’s. Awesome.” Jared grinned. His stomach was bottomless, something he and Jensen had joked about before.
“Right. That’s never stopped you. Right.” Jensen nodded, glanced out the window and back at Jared. He opened his mouth and closed it again when the waitress returned, putting down the fries and drink for Jared.
“So.” Jared popped a few fries in his mouth, studied Jensen. Jensen wasn’t like any math formula he’d ever figured out. No clear answers there.
“Yeah. Uh, I know I texted it, but you were incredible today. I was doing everything I could to beat you, and you wiped the floor with me.” Jensen’s smile was rueful, head shaking.
“Well, that Daily Double helped.”
Jensen tensed. “I didn’t risk that much on it.”
“I meant mine.”
“Oh. Right.” Jensen sipped his coke.
“And Jensen, you bet everything. Why’d you do that?” Jared pushed the fries aside. This was what he’d waited all afternoon for. He held his breath.
Jensen’s voice started soft, got steadier as he went along. He met Jared’s eyes, and the thing he wanted to see? It was there. “Someone told me once - smart kid, bit too tall - that you had to try. That uh, there were things worth fighting for, worth working for.”
“Yeah? Does sound smart, that kid. You think he had a point?” He smiled, leaned up on his elbows, a little closer to Jensen.
Jensen was starting to smile, too, face lighting up from within. “I do. I think that kid knew exactly what he was talking about. A real shock for me. Thought I was the one with the answers.”
The waitress interrupted just then, but when she moved on, Jared picked up right where they left off.
“Jensen. You really want what you said? Was that meant for me?” They both knew what he meant. That blaringly wrong answer, in front of thousands, soon to be seen by millions. Jared got a little weak in the knees thinking about it. A second chance.
“Jared.” Jensen locked eyes with him across the table and Jared had one of those weird only in the movies moments, where it went silent all around him, and they were the only two there. “I lied to you. That night at my apartment.” He snorted, looked around. Jared had never seen Jensen look this uncomfortable, this uncertain.
Jared felt heat, a low pulse of hurt, as he flashed back to that night. The fact that Jensen didn’t care had been the hardest thing for him to get over all this time.
“Lied about what, specifically?” Jared’s voice was cool, calm. He could do this. If Jensen was just looking to rekindle what they had, and nothing more, he was walking away.
Jensen rubbed his fingers across his mouth. “About, about not caring. I do. I mean, I didn’t know it then. So, maybe I wasn’t technically lying...”
“You really want to work the technicality on this? Really?” Annoyance sharpened his tone, and Jensen flinched. It felt good, to Jared’s dismay. He wasn’t proud, but Jensen had hurt him, and Jared wanted him to know it.
“No, no. I don’t. Sorry. I, uh. I didn’t think I was wrong, see? I thought you were overreacting and I didn’t see how I’d done anything to make you - make you give a shit about me.” Jensen held up his hand. “And no, I don’t have big self worth issues or any of that bullshit.”
“Then what? What’s the damn point of any of it, Jensen? The goal was really just sex?”
Jensen shrugged, but it wasn’t dismissive. “It was. But somehow, damn you, you made me want something else.” Jensen looked genuinely annoyed, and Jared had to bite back the urge to laugh. At himself, more than Jensen. To think he’d once thought Jensen Ackles had it all together. Had all the answers.
He was as confused as Jared was, just in different ways. Jensen was scared. Jared heard it all in those stumbling words. Scared to care about someone, scared to give them a chance to hurt him. He thought of what Katie told him, and he softened even more. Jensen had good reason to be scared.
“Jensen. What do you want?” He said it as gently as he could, but he wasn’t going to lay all of his cards out there.This was on Jensen now.
The look on Jensen’s face warmed to something good and sexy. Jared liked it a lot. “Jared Padalecki, I’ll tell you what I want. I want to date you. I want to come see you at A&M, I want you to come see me. The works. All of it.”
Jared kept his serious face locked on, appraised Jensen’s earnest gaze carefully.“How do I know you mean it?”
“The fact that I blew an easy question on TV that nearly ten million will see isn’t enough proof?!” Jensen’s eyes went wide, shocked.
It totally was, but Jared didn’t have to admit he’d turned into a puddle of pre-teen girl right to Jensen’s face. “Hm, nope. I think I’m gonna need something else. Just one more thing.” Jared leaned over the table. “Kiss me.”
“Kiss you? How is that -”
“Here. In front of our waitress Nadine, God and the world passing by on the street. And Ackles, make it good.”
Jared waited, breath held. He saw Jensen stare at him for a few seconds, but then oh, that smile. That one that had made him go hot and desperate before, that made him go almost hard in his jeans even now. Jensen’s hand threaded through Jared’s hair, gentle and firm at the same time, and angled Jared’s head. Jensen’s face was close. “Something like this?” His voice was enough, was all kinds of promise.
The mouth on his was familiar, but there was something new in his kiss. Something open and wanting, not just taking. Jared smiled into the kiss, kept it short enough that Nadine didn’t have to break it up. They sat back into their respective seats, and Jared knew he was red in the face, that he was sweating.
“Okay, two things, actually. The kiss, that was easy. I want one more thing.”
Jensen was smiling at him, as wide open as he ever had. He grinned right through his response. “Demanding little shit. What?”
Jared leaned in, chin on hands. “Introduce me to your parents.”
Jensen barked a laugh, but it was a happy sound. “You’re one weird dude, Jared Padalecki.” He nodded. “It’s a deal.”
Jared whooped, drawing the attention of the entire diner. He manfully resisted the urge to yell out that his boyfriend was the hottest guy in L.A. because using the b-word was probably pushing it just yet.
He had two rounds of Jeopardy to play tomorrow, in front of strangers and the world, against two of the smartest kids in the country, and you know what?
“I’m gonna win.” He knew it now.
As usual, Jensen caught up, ran his foot alongside Jared’s under the table. “Damn straight you are. Hoping you’ll make that kid from Yale cry a little. He was a real dick in the green room.”
“I’ll do what I can.”
Jensen just grinned at him, and Jared felt the matching smile spread across his face.
Jared did win.
(Katie preferred to say he destroyed the competition. But yeah, he won.)
In fact, he set a new two-day record for the college tournament. And he was pretty sure Yale was tearing up by the end of Double Jeopardy.
He won $100,000 and a brand new hybrid so he could both ditch his old shitty car and make excellent gas mileage on his upcoming multiple trips to U T Austin.
And he had a boyfriend. He did not win said boyfriend on Jeopardy, but he and Jensen still owed the show a big thank you, he thought.
All in all, winning Jeopardy was not exactly how Jared had pictured as a kid.
It was actually a lot better.
END
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