I miss you Missy!
i've had a shitty week.
my bird died on saturday.
Missy :'(
i called my parents to discuss the possibility of having a new job with the interview coming up on wednesday and quitting vs. staying etc...and near the end of the conversation my mom pulled the infamous "i have some bad news" line and my stomach instantly sunk and i felt this fainting feeling come over me....and yeah she told me that missy died. We had an agreement before i left that she woudln't keep anything from me - good or bad...she'd tell me everything...i mean she always does anyways cause that's our relationship...but still. Dad apparently didn't want Mom to tell me... :(
She had epilepsy...at least that's what i diagnosed her with because she was having seizures all the time. and apparently mom and kel said that she was having them like 20 times (sometimes more) per day...and that just made me sick to my stomach. i just feel so bad...cause i wasn't there to say bye to her.
i'm sitting here in the internet cafe of the hostel crying; i cried myself to sleep last nite; i kept fucking up at work cause i couldn't concentrate; and i caught myself staring out the window today on the tram crying...
i get attached to things very easily - especially animals...and especially mine.
A part of me feels bad because I am remembering the times that I yelled at her... or threw something at her cage for squeeking at the "inappropriate" times (like a bird can help that)...I know i shouldn't feel guilty about that...i know she knows I loved her and even though Mom may have cleaned her cage more often than i did...i still paid attention to her. Pet her head and held her in my hand until she came to when she had her seizures...
i just feel horrible cause I just wasn't there when she probably needed me. she was 15 mom reckons...i donno.
all my animals are dying since i've been in australia.
despite that drama....my job is okay. i have another interview on wednesday. the hostel is nice, trendy, fun, and the people are great. i love melbourne and the public transport is pretty awesome - the trams are fun and easy and get me to where i need to go (drop me off at my doorstop and work doorstop). the weekend was good - went to george's house for his dad's birthday...and did a whole bunch of ikea shopping (bed, coffee table, kitchen stuff, etc). it's currently raining.
I already sent him a card on sunday...but HAPPY FATHER'S DAY Daddy! I love you! xoxoxo
it's 8:30pm and i'm going to bed.
my bird died on saturday.
Missy :'(
i called my parents to discuss the possibility of having a new job with the interview coming up on wednesday and quitting vs. staying etc...and near the end of the conversation my mom pulled the infamous "i have some bad news" line and my stomach instantly sunk and i felt this fainting feeling come over me....and yeah she told me that missy died. We had an agreement before i left that she woudln't keep anything from me - good or bad...she'd tell me everything...i mean she always does anyways cause that's our relationship...but still. Dad apparently didn't want Mom to tell me... :(
She had epilepsy...at least that's what i diagnosed her with because she was having seizures all the time. and apparently mom and kel said that she was having them like 20 times (sometimes more) per day...and that just made me sick to my stomach. i just feel so bad...cause i wasn't there to say bye to her.
i'm sitting here in the internet cafe of the hostel crying; i cried myself to sleep last nite; i kept fucking up at work cause i couldn't concentrate; and i caught myself staring out the window today on the tram crying...
i get attached to things very easily - especially animals...and especially mine.
A part of me feels bad because I am remembering the times that I yelled at her... or threw something at her cage for squeeking at the "inappropriate" times (like a bird can help that)...I know i shouldn't feel guilty about that...i know she knows I loved her and even though Mom may have cleaned her cage more often than i did...i still paid attention to her. Pet her head and held her in my hand until she came to when she had her seizures...
i just feel horrible cause I just wasn't there when she probably needed me. she was 15 mom reckons...i donno.
all my animals are dying since i've been in australia.
despite that drama....my job is okay. i have another interview on wednesday. the hostel is nice, trendy, fun, and the people are great. i love melbourne and the public transport is pretty awesome - the trams are fun and easy and get me to where i need to go (drop me off at my doorstop and work doorstop). the weekend was good - went to george's house for his dad's birthday...and did a whole bunch of ikea shopping (bed, coffee table, kitchen stuff, etc). it's currently raining.
I already sent him a card on sunday...but HAPPY FATHER'S DAY Daddy! I love you! xoxoxo
it's 8:30pm and i'm going to bed.