(no subject)
I was thinking... I would rule as a supervillian. Well, I rule as it is, but as a supervillian I'd rule ten times more. I'd be a vampire-like creature, with a Darth Vader-esque cape. Printed on it would be bold letters that say: You Suck . I would have red horns, red eyes, and fangs. But my hair would stay the same. Instead of walking, I would hover like a badass, with no visible reason. Walking is for the weak. I would also have psychic powers, with the ability to enter your mind and talk to you, freaking the shit out of you. My weapons of choice: A simple shovel, but it morphs into an axe, and a twelve gauge shotgun. Instant teleportation? I've got it. Ability to morph into an inredibly large demon or werewolf? I've got that too. Huge wings would sprout from my back whenever I wished, because I rule. Of course, I really wouldn't need them, because I can instantly teleport anywhere, but huge wings are intimidating.
Nobody would fuck with me. The village at the foot of my big ass castle would fear me for my uber powers of evil. Every morning, they would wake up to find two of the inhabitants thoroughly skullfucked in the town square, completely naked, with Red carved into one of the victim's chest, and Rum carved into the other victim's chest. Then a large shadow would fall over them, and they would look up to see me and my twelve foot wingspan cruising overhead. I'd hover lower, and roar in their faces, then grab a fair maiden and use her for my sexual pleasure. Then I would grab a cattle with my big ass tail (did I mention I have a big ass tail? Well, I do) and eat it completely raw. I'd use the rib bones as spears, and chuck them at the children playing on their little playground. Then, when I got bored of the constant death, I'd fart fire all over their town hall, and fly back into my castle for more sexual pleasing by one of my many vampire wives. This cycle would continue, day after day, and the people would never leave the village because they are too fucking stupid to realize that its a simple solution. For some reason, though, the population of the village would never lower.
That would rock. I'm inspired to make a movie, or a video game. I'd call it, "Van Kick-your-ass-all-over-the-fucking-place". Richard Roxburgh would star as me, and Hugh Jackman could star as the almost-as-cool-as-me-but-not-quite-as-badass superhero that tries to kill me. I'd rape him, of course, but I'd let him think he's almost beat me throughout the whole movie. Then simply lower his head and skullfuck the shit out of him when he least expects it, then kill his lover, played by Kate Beckensale, after I give her a nice screwing, something he never did. Man I rule.
Nobody would fuck with me. The village at the foot of my big ass castle would fear me for my uber powers of evil. Every morning, they would wake up to find two of the inhabitants thoroughly skullfucked in the town square, completely naked, with Red carved into one of the victim's chest, and Rum carved into the other victim's chest. Then a large shadow would fall over them, and they would look up to see me and my twelve foot wingspan cruising overhead. I'd hover lower, and roar in their faces, then grab a fair maiden and use her for my sexual pleasure. Then I would grab a cattle with my big ass tail (did I mention I have a big ass tail? Well, I do) and eat it completely raw. I'd use the rib bones as spears, and chuck them at the children playing on their little playground. Then, when I got bored of the constant death, I'd fart fire all over their town hall, and fly back into my castle for more sexual pleasing by one of my many vampire wives. This cycle would continue, day after day, and the people would never leave the village because they are too fucking stupid to realize that its a simple solution. For some reason, though, the population of the village would never lower.
That would rock. I'm inspired to make a movie, or a video game. I'd call it, "Van Kick-your-ass-all-over-the-fucking-place". Richard Roxburgh would star as me, and Hugh Jackman could star as the almost-as-cool-as-me-but-not-quite-as-badass superhero that tries to kill me. I'd rape him, of course, but I'd let him think he's almost beat me throughout the whole movie. Then simply lower his head and skullfuck the shit out of him when he least expects it, then kill his lover, played by Kate Beckensale, after I give her a nice screwing, something he never did. Man I rule.