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I was reading up on some news on the internet. I found this:
HIGHLAND PARK, Texas (AP) - The police department is changing its arrest practices after a 97-year-old woman was detained for an outstanding traffic warrant, provoking a flurry of response, officials said.
Public safety officials said in a news release Friday that officers and supervisors have been granted broader discretion on arrests on traffic warrants until the policy is reviewed.
Former teacher Harriette Kelton was arrested, handcuffed and taken to jail last month after officers stopped her car for having an expired registration and inspection sticker.
She was in custody about two hours before her attorney arrived and she was released on her own recognizance.
Police said then that officers had no choice but to arrest Kelton. But the department was inundated with e-mails and phone calls - with mixed opinions on the arrest - and officials added a comments feature to the department's Web site.
The plan to review arrest policies sounds like a good move, Kelton said.
``They used no discretion in mine,'' she told The Dallas Morning News for Saturday editions. ``They ought to have some of their policies changed.''
Okay... so they have to change their policies for what reason again? The dumb bitch broke the law. She might be 97, but who gives a shit. She shouldn't be driving anyways. Not only because shes a WOMAN, but because shes ancient.
I think when people hit a certain age, say 65, they need to be put to sleep. Unless they are unable to do anything by 50, because they spent their whole lives smoking and drinking, causing them to have bad health. In that case, we have a public execution at a school, to show the little kiddies what will happen if you drink and smoke. And when people turn 50, if they are still in good health, they get their car taken away. I will then issue them a bike (because I will be King when this happens), and hope they know how to ride it.
Since we are on the issue of me being King... heres some other things I will do to clean up this country.
-I will close all borders. No more immigrants. We have enough idiots running around in our country as it is, no need for anymore. Of course, I will let people leave, but only if they pass a test, a test that involves severe pain. We wont get into the details, but lets just say you are better off staying in America. America... I dont like that name... that leads me to my second decree:
-I will change the name of the country to... JackBlackica. Because Jack Black is my idol. And because of that, we are throwing out the national anthem, and the pledge of allegiance. The new anthem will be Wonderboy, by Tenacious D. Our pledge will be Tribute, not sung, but spoken, in a monotone.
-No more American History, no more social studies, none of that crap. History is over, who needs it? Instead, every school must learn how to write, spell, type, and read. Obviously schools aren't teaching this enough, so it will be 3 classes out of the 5 classes of the day. Yes, 5 classes. We are shortening the school hours. Oh and no homework. Except for elementary schools. Their hours are lengthened to 10.
-The driving age will also be lowered to 14, as long as you are over 5'10".
-There will be no such law as 'Disturbing the Peace'. Half the people that call in bitching about someone with their music too loud are probably too old or stupid to live in my country anyways, and will be immediately thrown in jail.
-All cats are euphemized. No more cats. Cats are the scourge of this planet. I shall gather all of them and put them in a big box, then drench them in gasoline. Then I will light them on fire. This will be a ritual every year, celebrating the independence of our nation.
-Diet sodas are banned. No one makes diet sodas. In fact, they get burned with the cats too.
-Cigarettes are banned. I dont mind alcohol, or even marijuana, but no cigs. But those that choose to drink and smoke pot must live in Utah.
-The capital will be moved from Washington D.C. to a safer place, like Texas. I dont want my capital off on the edge of the country, easy to be picked off. I shall be snug in my castle in the middle of Dallas.
-No currency. Since we wont have any contact with other countries, currency will not matter. So everyone can learn how to be unselfish.
-No courts unless there is a murder. Which will be highly unlikely because:
-There will be no guns. Except for military officials.
-There will be an arena in every city, where I will make old people that are nearing their end (which is still 65) fight to the death. The winner gets to live for an extra month, and gets as much flan as they want. But the odds are they will both die, because old people arent too good at strenous activities.
Those will be my decrees. I think they would rock. Because I rock.
If you would like to comment on my decrees, please feel free.
HIGHLAND PARK, Texas (AP) - The police department is changing its arrest practices after a 97-year-old woman was detained for an outstanding traffic warrant, provoking a flurry of response, officials said.
Public safety officials said in a news release Friday that officers and supervisors have been granted broader discretion on arrests on traffic warrants until the policy is reviewed.
Former teacher Harriette Kelton was arrested, handcuffed and taken to jail last month after officers stopped her car for having an expired registration and inspection sticker.
She was in custody about two hours before her attorney arrived and she was released on her own recognizance.
Police said then that officers had no choice but to arrest Kelton. But the department was inundated with e-mails and phone calls - with mixed opinions on the arrest - and officials added a comments feature to the department's Web site.
The plan to review arrest policies sounds like a good move, Kelton said.
``They used no discretion in mine,'' she told The Dallas Morning News for Saturday editions. ``They ought to have some of their policies changed.''
Okay... so they have to change their policies for what reason again? The dumb bitch broke the law. She might be 97, but who gives a shit. She shouldn't be driving anyways. Not only because shes a WOMAN, but because shes ancient.
I think when people hit a certain age, say 65, they need to be put to sleep. Unless they are unable to do anything by 50, because they spent their whole lives smoking and drinking, causing them to have bad health. In that case, we have a public execution at a school, to show the little kiddies what will happen if you drink and smoke. And when people turn 50, if they are still in good health, they get their car taken away. I will then issue them a bike (because I will be King when this happens), and hope they know how to ride it.
Since we are on the issue of me being King... heres some other things I will do to clean up this country.
-I will close all borders. No more immigrants. We have enough idiots running around in our country as it is, no need for anymore. Of course, I will let people leave, but only if they pass a test, a test that involves severe pain. We wont get into the details, but lets just say you are better off staying in America. America... I dont like that name... that leads me to my second decree:
-I will change the name of the country to... JackBlackica. Because Jack Black is my idol. And because of that, we are throwing out the national anthem, and the pledge of allegiance. The new anthem will be Wonderboy, by Tenacious D. Our pledge will be Tribute, not sung, but spoken, in a monotone.
-No more American History, no more social studies, none of that crap. History is over, who needs it? Instead, every school must learn how to write, spell, type, and read. Obviously schools aren't teaching this enough, so it will be 3 classes out of the 5 classes of the day. Yes, 5 classes. We are shortening the school hours. Oh and no homework. Except for elementary schools. Their hours are lengthened to 10.
-The driving age will also be lowered to 14, as long as you are over 5'10".
-There will be no such law as 'Disturbing the Peace'. Half the people that call in bitching about someone with their music too loud are probably too old or stupid to live in my country anyways, and will be immediately thrown in jail.
-All cats are euphemized. No more cats. Cats are the scourge of this planet. I shall gather all of them and put them in a big box, then drench them in gasoline. Then I will light them on fire. This will be a ritual every year, celebrating the independence of our nation.
-Diet sodas are banned. No one makes diet sodas. In fact, they get burned with the cats too.
-Cigarettes are banned. I dont mind alcohol, or even marijuana, but no cigs. But those that choose to drink and smoke pot must live in Utah.
-The capital will be moved from Washington D.C. to a safer place, like Texas. I dont want my capital off on the edge of the country, easy to be picked off. I shall be snug in my castle in the middle of Dallas.
-No currency. Since we wont have any contact with other countries, currency will not matter. So everyone can learn how to be unselfish.
-No courts unless there is a murder. Which will be highly unlikely because:
-There will be no guns. Except for military officials.
-There will be an arena in every city, where I will make old people that are nearing their end (which is still 65) fight to the death. The winner gets to live for an extra month, and gets as much flan as they want. But the odds are they will both die, because old people arent too good at strenous activities.
Those will be my decrees. I think they would rock. Because I rock.
If you would like to comment on my decrees, please feel free.