woe the unhealthies.
man; i never realised how badly i treated myself
- until simon moved in.
i am so ridiculously unorganised and treat my body so badly. and i guess i never saw this as being a real issue, because i didn't understand the full extent of it.
and now that i'm in ways responsible for somebody else, i've realised just how much of an influence i am. i had no idea :/
now i'm watching my life on someone else, it's been a real kick in the face for me.
i'm always skipping meals, i'm always late for things & my diet isn't the most healthiest ETC. i have lived this bullshit life for so long, that is just seems normal to me. i've damaged my body so much, that it's just adjusted to this behaviour.
and it seems; this is just a bit wrong :/
he needs to eat. for someone that trains as much as he does, he just needs to eat. and if he doesn't, then he ruins his training and is a whiney bitch for the rest of the day. breakfast must be eaten, it's really important.
and i've never had to think like this, because i'm such an unhealthy person who just abuses their body. i'm at work for most of the day, so i have breakfast/lunch there. but he doesn't work at a cafe & i need to have all this ready for him. i need to get off my ass & cook. i need to cook healthily & take care of us both.
we're both sick at the moment; we're always sick. and because we're continuously in contact with eachother, we friggin share everything. his throat was hurting a few days ago, now mine is.
but yeah; i never realised how much we influenced eachother.
it's almost as if we've both lost who we were and it's really scary. he used to be the healthy/exercise freak/bouncy one. now he's taken on all my terrible qualities. and i've taken on all his bad habits. like swearing; my god i'm much worse now. i didn't pick up his athletic qualities, i just picked up the word cunt! damn you chan!
i have to be the one that fixes this. i have to take charge and take responsibility for us. i can't let him become unhealthy like me, he's too good for that and i'm too good for that too. i have to lead by example & help him take back control of his life. BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO GET FAT!
it's not like i don't have the money, i can afford decent food. i just have to be more organised/prepared, so it's easy to make the right choices. god damn this is so important and i'm just treating it like a big joke.
how am i meant to be a mother, when i can't even take care of myself?
woe; i suck at being a wife :(
- until simon moved in.
i am so ridiculously unorganised and treat my body so badly. and i guess i never saw this as being a real issue, because i didn't understand the full extent of it.
and now that i'm in ways responsible for somebody else, i've realised just how much of an influence i am. i had no idea :/
now i'm watching my life on someone else, it's been a real kick in the face for me.
i'm always skipping meals, i'm always late for things & my diet isn't the most healthiest ETC. i have lived this bullshit life for so long, that is just seems normal to me. i've damaged my body so much, that it's just adjusted to this behaviour.
and it seems; this is just a bit wrong :/
he needs to eat. for someone that trains as much as he does, he just needs to eat. and if he doesn't, then he ruins his training and is a whiney bitch for the rest of the day. breakfast must be eaten, it's really important.
and i've never had to think like this, because i'm such an unhealthy person who just abuses their body. i'm at work for most of the day, so i have breakfast/lunch there. but he doesn't work at a cafe & i need to have all this ready for him. i need to get off my ass & cook. i need to cook healthily & take care of us both.
we're both sick at the moment; we're always sick. and because we're continuously in contact with eachother, we friggin share everything. his throat was hurting a few days ago, now mine is.
but yeah; i never realised how much we influenced eachother.
it's almost as if we've both lost who we were and it's really scary. he used to be the healthy/exercise freak/bouncy one. now he's taken on all my terrible qualities. and i've taken on all his bad habits. like swearing; my god i'm much worse now. i didn't pick up his athletic qualities, i just picked up the word cunt! damn you chan!
i have to be the one that fixes this. i have to take charge and take responsibility for us. i can't let him become unhealthy like me, he's too good for that and i'm too good for that too. i have to lead by example & help him take back control of his life. BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO GET FAT!
it's not like i don't have the money, i can afford decent food. i just have to be more organised/prepared, so it's easy to make the right choices. god damn this is so important and i'm just treating it like a big joke.
how am i meant to be a mother, when i can't even take care of myself?
woe; i suck at being a wife :(