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okay, so i suck at updating. theres a lot on my mind, i just don't know how to say it, i guess. i feel a lot better about the whole brett situation. (you know, considering he was dating this girl a month before we even broke up. cool, right?) but i won't lie, it does still kill me to think about it. all i ever think about is the bad stuff that's happened to me, and i think about horrible things that could happen. i hate that. but, i can't seem to make that go away. i guess i'm one of those girls that has so much bottled inside, but doesn't show it. i need to think about more good things in life. i need to change a lot of things in my life, too. i just don't know where to start. maybe i need to start with making myself happy. yea, i'll try i guess. it's seriously time for some big changes. now if only i can make it happen. =\ my birthday is in a month. i'll be 19. i'm excited because it gives me something to look forward too, but then again, just breaks my heart because my nan won't be calling to sing me happy birthday for the first time in my life. is it wrong for me to say that i'm mad at god? because i am.
my hair is getting really long. cool. psst - that's janelle