(no subject)
so you know how i'm all non-confrontational about everything...?
well i think i need to say something... for once.
i'm sick of feeling like i'm not wanted by certain people. or like i'm just a back up, or like the only reason people keep me around is because they get a kick out of how stupid i am or something.
i'm sick of feeling like if i walk out of a room or turn my back for a minute, someone's going to be talking shit about me or something.
maybe it's paranoia.
but it's not.
i know it happens. because i've seen it happen. i've done it before. i'm not saying i haven't done it. but i try not to. i try to just shrug it off. because i know how it feels. and i hate it to no fucking extent.
this summer has been absolute shit.
not only has it been shit, but it has made me feel like shit.
i'm questioning why i even fucking bother with the human race anymore. it's not important to me. i like talking to people, fucking around, whatever, but there has to be something more.
i guess i just want to feel needed or like that someone cares about me or gives a shit about what i have to say.
i don't want to have to worry about what people think
i don't want to have to pay so much attention to what i say and don't say, how i act, and how i don't.
and most of all.. i hate the worrying.
i hate having to feel like i always have to watch my back.
shouldn't someone else help?
i don't know.
i'm so vague.
well i think i need to say something... for once.
i'm sick of feeling like i'm not wanted by certain people. or like i'm just a back up, or like the only reason people keep me around is because they get a kick out of how stupid i am or something.
i'm sick of feeling like if i walk out of a room or turn my back for a minute, someone's going to be talking shit about me or something.
maybe it's paranoia.
but it's not.
i know it happens. because i've seen it happen. i've done it before. i'm not saying i haven't done it. but i try not to. i try to just shrug it off. because i know how it feels. and i hate it to no fucking extent.
this summer has been absolute shit.
not only has it been shit, but it has made me feel like shit.
i'm questioning why i even fucking bother with the human race anymore. it's not important to me. i like talking to people, fucking around, whatever, but there has to be something more.
i guess i just want to feel needed or like that someone cares about me or gives a shit about what i have to say.
i don't want to have to worry about what people think
i don't want to have to pay so much attention to what i say and don't say, how i act, and how i don't.
and most of all.. i hate the worrying.
i hate having to feel like i always have to watch my back.
shouldn't someone else help?
i don't know.
i'm so vague.