it ends tonite
My life is such a fucking roller coaster of emotions. I wish for once I can be happy for longer than a week. When I was in LA I was the happiest person. I was with the boy I like, the friends that I love being with, doing the things I wanted to when I wanted to, just living life and having a blast. Then I come back "home" and try to live life enjoyably, if that's even a word... and I just can't. No matter what I do I'm not happy! And all I can do is talk about Mitch and SoCal. I've been taking so much vicodin just so I can feel numb and not feel likei have to deal with anything. I seriously feel like I have nothing, and no one. I don't want anyone to feel like I don't care abou them or don't feel the same, I love you all but this is how I feel.
I feel like I'm all alone in this world and will always will be. I feel like no one will love me the way I feel like I need to be loved. Not in my family, not in my friends, not in anybody. I feel like ill never be complete.
I'm so tired of all the pain that I put myself though. I know I can be happy, I know I can feel loved but something inside just won't let me. I look at everyone and they all have happiness in their lives, even if they do have sadness, I fake my happiness just so I won't die.
I miss being a child and not having any worry in my life, but its time to face it that I'm an adult and I need to stand on my own two feet and live.
All I want is someone to love and someone to love me. Life is just too much sometimes.
I feel like I'm all alone in this world and will always will be. I feel like no one will love me the way I feel like I need to be loved. Not in my family, not in my friends, not in anybody. I feel like ill never be complete.
I'm so tired of all the pain that I put myself though. I know I can be happy, I know I can feel loved but something inside just won't let me. I look at everyone and they all have happiness in their lives, even if they do have sadness, I fake my happiness just so I won't die.
I miss being a child and not having any worry in my life, but its time to face it that I'm an adult and I need to stand on my own two feet and live.
All I want is someone to love and someone to love me. Life is just too much sometimes.