no questions asked!

[__smash__]

this is the third time i've started this entry

i spent the majority of my day
collecting shopping carts from the parking lot
of the store i work at

for a few hours i was very bitter at the fact that
i am the only employee who is enrolled in university
but am treated like a high school drop out
who can't put two and two together
who is totally entitled to a life of change counting
and life brand garunteed refunds without receipts

but then for a few hours i felt happy because some of the people
who i get to see throughout the day
are just such characters that i can't help it but glow at them
some of the people i work with too
just to listen to them is different because
it's interesting to hear what other people deal with

sometimes i feel like i have an alter ego, split in two..
like the thai-canadian ego but now it's more like
the chemistry-cashier ego

but so far so good i'm content
which is good because i'm so afraid that if i take two seconds to stop and look back
that the summer lethargy will pounce like a half naked man exposing himself at downtown bus stops...

so
i can't sleep lately
i have no idea why, i think maybe i'm just bored of going to work everyday
and wishing that i was doing something that i loved and hating that it's not the case
but forgetting half the time why because my head is a flood of media
and distractions and people and so so so many things

i've been a little edgy too
mostly with my parents
i don't know what it is but sometimes i just can't talk to them
anything they ask just rubs me the wrong way
i get so annoyed, i feel like a jerk later but anyways...

i had an idea for a painting
complimentary yellows and purples
just a lady with long long hair
very abstract and no brushes

...maybe
when i'm done my book and i have the time..