(no subject)
livejournal got really fancy since ive been gone. it confuses me.
i cant believe its been six months since i wrote in here.. somehow, it found a stored draft from about five months ago, that i started to write after i got back to school from winter break, but never posted.
reading it made me realize how much things have changed, and at the same time, how much is the same.
it amazes me how much i used to depend on this page, this simple box. i needed so much to pour out what i was thinking & feeling into a place that wasn't just a locked diary that sat in a drawer. i needed somewhere that people would read my thoughts & my fears & give me feedback, somewhere where people would validate my feelings. and thats what this box did.
this journal gave me so much security, it helped me through so much. it caused lots of drama, and in a lot of entries, im a little ashamed to admit that i wrote certain things certain ways hoping certain people would [or wouldnt] react in certain ways. i guess thats what high school was, and what college isnt, for me.
ive moved to a place in my life where i no longer need that validation, which is a huge thing for me - its an amazing place to be.
i survived my freshman year of college. i survived mono & an awful outbreak of hives. i lived through a semester with a horrible roommate, i passed 10 classes [though i just scraped by in two of them..], i drank & i smoked, i learned to play beirut. i partied, i hooked up, i got my heart broken & had my share of breakdowns. i got amazingly close with some beautiful boston girls, my friendship with naomi grew incredibly. i made my first snow angel, i learned to follow hockey, football & baseball.. i even mastered public transportation.
& yesterday, i turned nineteen. life has changed an incredible amount for me in the past six months, in the past year. a lot of things though, are definitely still the same. i guess thats what life is. its accepting the changes as they come, & realizing that some things never change at all. <3
i cant believe its been six months since i wrote in here.. somehow, it found a stored draft from about five months ago, that i started to write after i got back to school from winter break, but never posted.
reading it made me realize how much things have changed, and at the same time, how much is the same.
it amazes me how much i used to depend on this page, this simple box. i needed so much to pour out what i was thinking & feeling into a place that wasn't just a locked diary that sat in a drawer. i needed somewhere that people would read my thoughts & my fears & give me feedback, somewhere where people would validate my feelings. and thats what this box did.
this journal gave me so much security, it helped me through so much. it caused lots of drama, and in a lot of entries, im a little ashamed to admit that i wrote certain things certain ways hoping certain people would [or wouldnt] react in certain ways. i guess thats what high school was, and what college isnt, for me.
ive moved to a place in my life where i no longer need that validation, which is a huge thing for me - its an amazing place to be.
i survived my freshman year of college. i survived mono & an awful outbreak of hives. i lived through a semester with a horrible roommate, i passed 10 classes [though i just scraped by in two of them..], i drank & i smoked, i learned to play beirut. i partied, i hooked up, i got my heart broken & had my share of breakdowns. i got amazingly close with some beautiful boston girls, my friendship with naomi grew incredibly. i made my first snow angel, i learned to follow hockey, football & baseball.. i even mastered public transportation.
& yesterday, i turned nineteen. life has changed an incredible amount for me in the past six months, in the past year. a lot of things though, are definitely still the same. i guess thats what life is. its accepting the changes as they come, & realizing that some things never change at all. <3