sick of it.

[__sierra]

I seriously just want to be out of here- now. October isn't coming soon enough. I'm starting to get some things already when I leave. There's still a ton of stuff I need to get/do but there's still a shitload of time left. Ugh. I'm so sick of it here. I feel like I'm suffocating sometimes here. I realized this last night at work, while doing thousands of markdowns. I just do the same thing over and over. I go to class, I go to work, I sleep. That's my life. That's not how I should be living. Things are just so boring and I don't know.. Don't get me wrong. I love my friends to death here.. I'd go insane without them. But, I just need a change. It's part of that whole growing up thing I guess. I need to get away from the Quad Cities, my parents, and work. It's all I've ever known, and I want the uncertain now. I've had several people ask me what I'm going to do after D.C. and honestly, I don't know, and I'm not really overly stressing about it. Maybe I'll stay out in D.C. and finish school there.. maybe I'll come back here for a bit and go away again.. or maybe I'll just move to some random ass place. Who knows? I sure don't.

My life is so up-in-the-air it's insane. Especially after this cancer thing. If my tests come back postive, wow. That's gonna be a curve ball in my life. I already know for sure I'm going to be going to doctors a lot more now because of the possiblity. I already have a new appointment in May. Ugh. My doctor here is trying to find me a good one to go to in D.C. so that's good.

Alright, I'm done rambling for now... but only because I have to go to class.. so I'm sure there will be more later. <3