December 4th-5th, 2007
Today's the worst day of my life.
My sister died from a drug overdose; whether it was accidental or intentional is still up in the air.
I miss her already so fucking much, I feel like a huge piece of me is gone and I'm never going to get it back. I wish I believed in God, because then I'd know she's in a better place. Maybe there is a God, and maybe she IS in a better place.
Ashley Joeline Embrey, we've had ups and downs, we've fought and called each other names, we've told each other we hated each other. You were the first person I ever got high with, I drank with you, I took pills with you. I feel like I'm part of your downfall, that maybe if I hadn't of done those things, you might still be here.
You're gone now, and I'm broken in two because I'm not quite sure what to do without you. Even though we didn't talk as much as we should have, you were my big sister and I love you with all my heart.
I'm crying as I'm writing this because I know I'll never hear her voice again, hug her again, kiss her on the cheek again as we're saying bye, smell her smell as she walks away. She always wore the strongest perfume, but it always smelt so pretty and I always used to sneak some of it when she wasn't in her room. She's gone now, but I'll never forget her. She's my sister.
Ash & Al - that's hard to forget, anyways.
REMORSE is memory awake,
Her companies astir,-
A presence of departed acts
At window and at door.
Its past set down before the soul,
And lighted with a match,
Perusal to facilitate
Of its condensed despatch.
Remorse is cureless,-the disease
Not even God can heal;
For ’t is His institution,-
The complement of hell.
ASHLEY JOELINE EMBREY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND IM ALWAYS GOING TO MISS YOU
My sister died from a drug overdose; whether it was accidental or intentional is still up in the air.
I miss her already so fucking much, I feel like a huge piece of me is gone and I'm never going to get it back. I wish I believed in God, because then I'd know she's in a better place. Maybe there is a God, and maybe she IS in a better place.
Ashley Joeline Embrey, we've had ups and downs, we've fought and called each other names, we've told each other we hated each other. You were the first person I ever got high with, I drank with you, I took pills with you. I feel like I'm part of your downfall, that maybe if I hadn't of done those things, you might still be here.
You're gone now, and I'm broken in two because I'm not quite sure what to do without you. Even though we didn't talk as much as we should have, you were my big sister and I love you with all my heart.
I'm crying as I'm writing this because I know I'll never hear her voice again, hug her again, kiss her on the cheek again as we're saying bye, smell her smell as she walks away. She always wore the strongest perfume, but it always smelt so pretty and I always used to sneak some of it when she wasn't in her room. She's gone now, but I'll never forget her. She's my sister.
Ash & Al - that's hard to forget, anyways.
REMORSE is memory awake,
Her companies astir,-
A presence of departed acts
At window and at door.
Its past set down before the soul,
And lighted with a match,
Perusal to facilitate
Of its condensed despatch.
Remorse is cureless,-the disease
Not even God can heal;
For ’t is His institution,-
The complement of hell.
ASHLEY JOELINE EMBREY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND IM ALWAYS GOING TO MISS YOU