The Nyquil isn't kicking in.
So far I've had a ridiculously good weekend. My pop came to visit me =). I don't need Vova, Ilay, Mike, Ryan, Vlad, Alex or Mark...I just need my dad around. Fuck divorces. My whole mentality is skewed now. I search of a replancement male source constantly. That's why I've had 2 serious relationships before the age of 17 and thats partially why I've cheated on both of my boyfriends. (Both picked up smoking and drinking after we broke up [peculiar] and both were the younger of two brothers...hah, Mark has an older brother too. Too bad for him I haven't talked to him in like a week, eh...he can wait. I've got to get myself straight.)
On cheating...
Well, it's never enough. I could have it all and some, but I'll still go out of my way to get more. Even when there isn't more to get. Overall, I don't think I will ever be satisfied. The only time I completely belonged to Mike was before he and I started going out. I'd think about him constantly, and obsess. There wasn't room for another male in my head. Then, I took it all for granted and suddenly one guy wasn't enough...I needed a world of guys. Acting on my impulses then, my friends, is the definition of fucking up.
I'm not going to blame it all on my dad leaving...it may have started something but I was the main catalyst all throughout. Maybe I'll just never have a relationship ever again...I'm bound to ruin it.
Yeah right, I'll crush...and go insane over a boy...and be loyal forever (?). Next relationship is my ultimate try to be good.
Mark, baby, you just might be
lucky number three.
On cheating...
Well, it's never enough. I could have it all and some, but I'll still go out of my way to get more. Even when there isn't more to get. Overall, I don't think I will ever be satisfied. The only time I completely belonged to Mike was before he and I started going out. I'd think about him constantly, and obsess. There wasn't room for another male in my head. Then, I took it all for granted and suddenly one guy wasn't enough...I needed a world of guys. Acting on my impulses then, my friends, is the definition of fucking up.
I'm not going to blame it all on my dad leaving...it may have started something but I was the main catalyst all throughout. Maybe I'll just never have a relationship ever again...I'm bound to ruin it.
Yeah right, I'll crush...and go insane over a boy...and be loyal forever (?). Next relationship is my ultimate try to be good.
Mark, baby, you just might be
lucky number three.