On small moments --
A royal hypocrite, you'll say, when you hear what I'm about to say next. Because, despite the rhythm and the rituals, moments still exist.
Moments when frisbees are sailing through the air and he calls my name as I'm darting down a wet, grassy field and I turn as the word is tumbling from his lips, my arm stretches and the smooth familiar plastic is in my grasp.
When our car engine is turned off and we are warmed by our heat exchanges under the summer sky as we watch Hollywood movies on the big screen, Jory and his in the car on our left and Jared and his in the car on our right. Someday we'll all be married, Jared says, and he winks knowingly -- four agreeable couples (two married, two not) in four cars parked in a row on summer nights is a given.
When I lie on the couch and fall asleep watching hockey sticks slap pucks on the ice because I'm too tired to make it through double-overtime on a weeknight, but he plays with my hair and takes pictures of me sleeping to remember how it feels.
When we walk to our gym together, move around the machines in slow, intentional cycles and eventually walk home, sweaty hand in sweaty hand. Once inside, clothes drop to the floor and our bodies move underneath warm water together.
When I arrive at work only to find emails he sent in advance of my arrival because he knew they'd be the first thing in my inbox.
When I am walking through our stereotypical suburban mall looking for him because closing time is approaching and my heart beats a tiny bit faster because I cannot find him and where is he and I need to be home by 5:30 and where IS he!! and then he is there, walking towards me, smiling broadly, a chocolate banana ice cream (dipped in white chocolate) in his right hand and a chocolate caramel ice cream in his left hand for me.
Moments in the morning, before the sun is up, when our tiny kitten Aria is nestled between my shoulder and his red hair and they are breathing in and out, same speed, same rhythm and I smile in the semi-darkness wishing this moment was a ritual, wishing this moment would last forever.