(no subject)
So i was gonna do this quiz type of deal, its not a quiz cuz its somthing where like you find a certain post and a certain word then get a picture... that sort of thing, and it got me reading all my posts from when i first made this journal. im gonna keep this journal cuz I have had it sence last september and thats kinda a long time. I really wish iwouldnt have deleted all my other journals. and im gonna put all my yer_rad_letshug posts in one big post on here so i have them... ee i dont know.
Im in a really weird mood right now... Im not to sure why or how i feel just weird. i havnt felt this way in a real long time. I think its cuz latly i havnt given a shit about any thing. But there is nothing in particular that i care about right now. my girlfriend sorta but that dosnt make me feel like this. that pisses me off. im not pissed off though.
'i think of a while ago we may have had it all' - tom delonge.
that song is really good. untitled. it explains how i feel so much. and just that single line can explain so much.
i need to talk to some one... i cant be by my self. I think thats what this is about. This whole summer has been really weird... I have been around totally different people... doing totally different things... i have my licence... i work, i am never home i have a new boyfriend that i actually care about and my best friend. sence 8th grade that i moved here i have been basically around the same people. dated/liked the same guy did the same things... i dont know just this summer was really weird. i liked it though. i mean if you talked to me last year i would have been like why are you talking to me, but i am all about that talking buisness and meeting new people now... eh i dont know what i really want is socks and tonys hoodie so ill be right back.
I know what it was... before this summer i cared to much, i cared to much about what people thought, i cared to much about kevin, and relationships i cared to much about my parents... this summer has been more like fuck it.. fuck kevin and his bull shit, fuck my parents, fuck people and what they think. what i do has nothing to do with any one else. i can do what ever i want the only people that have any influance on that is my parents and there damn rules. and andrew and dusty cuz i care about them.
and like people have said shit about like me doing drugs. WHO GIVES A FUCK?! why do you care... am i asking you to sniff a line of coke or fucking take e? I didnt think so... so what drugs I do has to do with me. not you. what i do has to do with me. not you. who i go out with has to do with me not you. I dont know people really pissed me off with the drugs comment. cuz i can do what i want. now if i was all like not about doing drugs and then this summer became a fucking crack whore then go ahead. say shit to me. but I am not a crack whore. I am not addicted to any drugs. I dont do any thing wrong or bad when on drugs or drinking i dont hurt my self or any one else. i am perfectly safe so get the fuck off my back about it.
and andrew. ak... what the fuck am i thinking going out with this kid do you ask? well i asked my self the same thing about a month ago. Where the hell did he come from? where the hell did 'sylvia and andrew' come from. that is the randomest couple i can ever think of besides like the hairy kid and renae fox or somthing ya know. But i dont know.. andrew has always caught my eye i think i mentioned him to dusty a few times cuz i remember when brit said that she heard him talking about dusty being hot and stuff. and i had him in a math class and drivers training and we never talked.. i had him and tony in drivers training... never noticed though. then after hanging out with adam and them, i would see him over there alot, and he shared a 40 with me. thats when we actually started talking. we all went to the fire works deal and stuff.. and then got real drunk at chelseas, then again, and just after awhile me and him always ended up together... then at jackies when i stayed the night there befor i was real drunk he asked me out and every thing at marathon when some one went to get cigarettes... on the 8th. so one month and one day so far. At first i questioned 'us' quite a bit cuz i mean I thought he would have been the biggest ass hole, player what ever, cuz i mean thats andrew man i could never talk to him cuz he looked like a dick and stuff then i dont know, but he is nothing like that at all.. he is totally different than i ever though. and its really cool. I really feel more comfortable around him and with him than i have with any one but kevin. and thats after a month not a year and 2 months. i dont know i really do like this kid alot, even with how random it was... i dont care what people think about it... and he made me hot chocolate at like 6 in the morning who else would do that? no one. yeah haha. all i know is that hes who i wish was here right now... like i need some one to talk to and hes who i want to talk to. saturday night we drove so long and talked about every thing.. EVERY THING. like i can say any thing to that kid and it dosnt matter like he wont change how he feels or any thing ya know and im not worry about that at all... idont know im rambling thought so im gonna go back to reading my old posts.
12:30 at night and chuck calls me. thats a joke. i really need a number to call dusty right now. I love that girl i really do. shes like the only person i can completly relate to i could talk to her for ever man about any thing. i mean come on now its my girlfriend we hit on dan together haha.
reading my journal theres like a bunch of people i want to talk to but no ones on. like ashley fucking swatswoth (sp) i need to talk to that girl friend now haha and kevy and val and lisa k. and erin.
I talked to james the other day. said sorry. i think things are ok with us now, he is talking to me now so thats real cool talking about our stupid jobs, well my stupid job and him no longer having a job.
eee well i am feeling better and grace duck and james are on so i have people to talk to so im gonna do that now haha.
Im in a really weird mood right now... Im not to sure why or how i feel just weird. i havnt felt this way in a real long time. I think its cuz latly i havnt given a shit about any thing. But there is nothing in particular that i care about right now. my girlfriend sorta but that dosnt make me feel like this. that pisses me off. im not pissed off though.
'i think of a while ago we may have had it all' - tom delonge.
that song is really good. untitled. it explains how i feel so much. and just that single line can explain so much.
i need to talk to some one... i cant be by my self. I think thats what this is about. This whole summer has been really weird... I have been around totally different people... doing totally different things... i have my licence... i work, i am never home i have a new boyfriend that i actually care about and my best friend. sence 8th grade that i moved here i have been basically around the same people. dated/liked the same guy did the same things... i dont know just this summer was really weird. i liked it though. i mean if you talked to me last year i would have been like why are you talking to me, but i am all about that talking buisness and meeting new people now... eh i dont know what i really want is socks and tonys hoodie so ill be right back.
I know what it was... before this summer i cared to much, i cared to much about what people thought, i cared to much about kevin, and relationships i cared to much about my parents... this summer has been more like fuck it.. fuck kevin and his bull shit, fuck my parents, fuck people and what they think. what i do has nothing to do with any one else. i can do what ever i want the only people that have any influance on that is my parents and there damn rules. and andrew and dusty cuz i care about them.
and like people have said shit about like me doing drugs. WHO GIVES A FUCK?! why do you care... am i asking you to sniff a line of coke or fucking take e? I didnt think so... so what drugs I do has to do with me. not you. what i do has to do with me. not you. who i go out with has to do with me not you. I dont know people really pissed me off with the drugs comment. cuz i can do what i want. now if i was all like not about doing drugs and then this summer became a fucking crack whore then go ahead. say shit to me. but I am not a crack whore. I am not addicted to any drugs. I dont do any thing wrong or bad when on drugs or drinking i dont hurt my self or any one else. i am perfectly safe so get the fuck off my back about it.
and andrew. ak... what the fuck am i thinking going out with this kid do you ask? well i asked my self the same thing about a month ago. Where the hell did he come from? where the hell did 'sylvia and andrew' come from. that is the randomest couple i can ever think of besides like the hairy kid and renae fox or somthing ya know. But i dont know.. andrew has always caught my eye i think i mentioned him to dusty a few times cuz i remember when brit said that she heard him talking about dusty being hot and stuff. and i had him in a math class and drivers training and we never talked.. i had him and tony in drivers training... never noticed though. then after hanging out with adam and them, i would see him over there alot, and he shared a 40 with me. thats when we actually started talking. we all went to the fire works deal and stuff.. and then got real drunk at chelseas, then again, and just after awhile me and him always ended up together... then at jackies when i stayed the night there befor i was real drunk he asked me out and every thing at marathon when some one went to get cigarettes... on the 8th. so one month and one day so far. At first i questioned 'us' quite a bit cuz i mean I thought he would have been the biggest ass hole, player what ever, cuz i mean thats andrew man i could never talk to him cuz he looked like a dick and stuff then i dont know, but he is nothing like that at all.. he is totally different than i ever though. and its really cool. I really feel more comfortable around him and with him than i have with any one but kevin. and thats after a month not a year and 2 months. i dont know i really do like this kid alot, even with how random it was... i dont care what people think about it... and he made me hot chocolate at like 6 in the morning who else would do that? no one. yeah haha. all i know is that hes who i wish was here right now... like i need some one to talk to and hes who i want to talk to. saturday night we drove so long and talked about every thing.. EVERY THING. like i can say any thing to that kid and it dosnt matter like he wont change how he feels or any thing ya know and im not worry about that at all... idont know im rambling thought so im gonna go back to reading my old posts.
12:30 at night and chuck calls me. thats a joke. i really need a number to call dusty right now. I love that girl i really do. shes like the only person i can completly relate to i could talk to her for ever man about any thing. i mean come on now its my girlfriend we hit on dan together haha.
reading my journal theres like a bunch of people i want to talk to but no ones on. like ashley fucking swatswoth (sp) i need to talk to that girl friend now haha and kevy and val and lisa k. and erin.
I talked to james the other day. said sorry. i think things are ok with us now, he is talking to me now so thats real cool talking about our stupid jobs, well my stupid job and him no longer having a job.
eee well i am feeling better and grace duck and james are on so i have people to talk to so im gonna do that now haha.