(no subject)
I like when, I'm having the time of my life with Tyler & his brother at the mall, and as soon as I walk into my house, I get in the shittiest mood ever. It's my dad, really. I would give up my whole world to just live with my mom. &be happy. I have more than I could ever ask for. I would give it all up for my mom and I to just be happy & ugh shdfakldj. We might not have a lot of money then, cause my dad's the one with all the money. But I don't care. As long as my mom and I are happy. He's such a fucking dickhead. & I keep it in all the time. On a good day, I don't even see him, let alone walk past him & not even acknowledge his presence. We'll walk right on past eachother & not say a word. & when he does say something, it's usually not what any kid would want to hear from their father. I sometimes talk to my mom about it, but rarely, cause I know it breaks her heart knowing I'm not happy. She said if I really wanted to, we could move out, but I would have to move back to Seattle. & I don't want that. He's not even my real dad, but he's been there since I was 3. My real dad died when I was 9 months old, and I just wish I could take everything I have back to actually have a real dad. I love my mom. With all my heart, and she's trying the best she can to fill in that fatherly postition, cause obviosuly my step-dad can't, but no matter how hard she tries, she's not going to fulfill that ever. I'm grateful for her & her trying, but it is not the same. Most kids take advantage of their parents. & are spoiled brats. "MY PARENTS DIDN'T GET ME THIS THIS & THIS!" We'll you're god damn lucky to even have parents. To have a house. To go to school. Just be thankful for everything you have, cause in a moment, you can loose everything & not have any thing to even complain about.
I'm really happy to be going back to school. I neverrrr see my dad when I'm in school. I come home, usually leave & by the time I get home, he's asleep. & he leaves early in the morning, and I find this the most conveineit[sp] thing in the world :]
ugh^*((*!$, I'm stressed.
EDIT:
I didn't write this for any of you to feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity. I don't even care if you read this or not. It's been going on for long enough, I've learned to live with most of it. I just needed to get it out. :]
I'm really happy to be going back to school. I neverrrr see my dad when I'm in school. I come home, usually leave & by the time I get home, he's asleep. & he leaves early in the morning, and I find this the most conveineit[sp] thing in the world :]
ugh^*((*!$, I'm stressed.
EDIT:
I didn't write this for any of you to feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity. I don't even care if you read this or not. It's been going on for long enough, I've learned to live with most of it. I just needed to get it out. :]