just cause i'm feeling so lonely...
Mom: baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a question.
Baby: sure mom
Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your answer?
Baby: thank you po!!!
________________________________
BF: may malaki ako problema.
GF: wag mo sabihin problema mo lang problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo. o ngayon ano problema natin?
BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama
________________________________
"There what it takes to be. Then we shall so be it because it is. To do or not to is in the what, now or what else. Without which there never to you!" - words of wisdom from Senator Lito Lapid.
________________________________
Pare1: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pare2: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Pare1: swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pare2: pare ako nanalo!
________________________________
Killer: father mangungumpisal po ako
Father: ano kasalanan mo?
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 tao
Father: bakit?
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po naniniwala ba?
Father: dati...pero ngayon trip trip na lang
________________________________
Patient: doc takot po ako sa bunot
Dentist: eto gamot pampatapang ng loob
Patient: (ininom ang gamot)
Dentist: ano matapang ka na ba?
Patient: oo doc! puta pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag ang bungo!
________________________________
Passenger taps taxi driver's shoulder...
WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! screamed the driver...
Passenger: bakit ka sumigaw?
Driver: sorry bossing bago lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25 years po kasi ako driver ng funenaria
________________________________
1 panget na babe, hinoholdap
Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na gamit mo!
Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: anong rape? holdap nga to eh!
Babae: wala lang! nagsusuggest lang...
________________________________
1 lasing nasalubong ang matabang babae na may kasamang aso
Lasing: hoy, saan mo nakuha yang baboy?
Babae: aso ito hindi baboy!
Lasing: huwag ka nga sumabat! yung aso ang kausap ko!
________________________________
In a pet shop...
Customer talking to a parrot...
Customer: hoy! can you talk ha?! bobo!!!
Parrot: yes i can!!! ikaw?! can you fly ha? GAGO!!!
________________________________
Priest: ang mga bakla'y walang lugar sa kaharian ng langit
Mga bakla: carry lang po father...dun na lang kami sa rainbow mag slide-slide!!!
________________________________
Bobo: pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter A
Pare: approachable?
Bobo: mali
Pare: amiable?
Bobo: mali pa rin
Pare: o sige siret na!
Bobo: ANEST wehehe!!!
________________________________
Girl: doc, pacheck-up po
Doc: sige hubad ka ng panty at bra tapos higa ka
Girl: hindi po ako, itong lola ko po
Doc: sige lola, hinga na lang po ng malalim
________________________________
Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na...ano ang balak mo itanim sa sakahan mo anak?
Anak: flowers papa!!! madaming madaming flowers! pretty diba?!
Whats your middle name?
vito cruz
What are you listening to right now?
the american analog set. pampa-depress lalo...
What is the last digit your cellphone number?
5
What was the last thing you ate?
butter coconut
How is the weather right now?
medyo maulan, medyo malamig
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
daniel
What is the first thing u notice in the opposite sex?
yung dating/appeal
Favorite type of Food?
italian and japanese
Do you want children?
someday
Do you drink?
yes
Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night?
hindi pa... pero i have lived the dream
Hair color?
brown/red
Eye colour?
dark brown
Do you wear contacts/glasses?
glasses, but i don't wear it. how ironic.
Favorite holiday?
christmas/new year... basta yung mahaba yung bakasyon
Have you ever cried over a girl/boy?
yes
Last Movie you Watched?
nobody knows. tangina lahat nalang depressing pati tong palabas na to
What books are you reading?
go west young fucked up chick by rachel resnick
Piercings?
7, sa tenga lahat
Favorite Movie?
me and you and everyone we know, 2046, garden state, lost in translation, y tu mama tambien, madami pa... yung mga pretentious at artsy fartsy
Favorite college football Team?
wala
What were you doing before filling this out?
watched dvd then took a bath
Any pets?
ngayon wala. miss ko na hamsters ko at mga doggy :(
Dogs or cats?
dogs
Favorite Flower?
wala
Have you ever loved someone?
yes
Who would you like to see right now?
...
Have you ever fired a gun?
yung laruan lang
Right-handed or Left-handed?
right-handed
If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
middle earth
Are you missing someone?
yes
Do you have a tattoo?
none
Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
not really
Are you hiding something from someone?
yes
firsts...
1. 1st time you tried smoking:
long ago
2. 1st alcoholic drink you had:
tequila and red wine
3. 1st time you entered a bar:
di ko na maalala
4. 1st award you received:
loyalty!
5. 1st hero:
shaider
6. 1st time you were sent to the principal for disciplinary actions:
never pa sa principal. mga warning warning lang
7. goal you accomplished:
i don't know
8. 1st crush:
can't remember... si tristan isidro lang naalala ko hahaha
9. 1st person who you gave flowers:
i don't think i did
10.1st friend:
mariel orbeta
12. 1st record you bought:
di ko na maalala pero alam ko jologs sya at cassette tape pa sya. isa na dun si joey lawrence, e.y.c at si donna cruz hahaha :))
14. first musical instrument you learned to play:
guitar
15. 1st local concert you watched:
sandwich ata
16. 1st celebrity you saw in person:
si katya santos ata
17. 1st TV show you really like?
ang tv!
18.1st book you bought:
can't remember
19. 1st sport you played:
basta lahat nung tinuro sa p.e.
20. 1st sleepover:
di ko maalala
21. 1st terrible fight:
mga pinsan at kapatid
22. 1st inaanak (first godchild?):
sean
23. 1st debut (filipino girly 18th bday)
sa ate ko ata
24. 1st bestfriend/s:
si mariel
25. 1st wedding you attended
sa tita ko ata
26. 1st person who greeted you on your last bday:
basta friends ko
27. 1st friend in friendster:
sabi ni pia sya daw hahaha
28. 1st cellphone:
motorola
29. 1st collection:
kisses
30. 1st tym u saw a ghost?
hindi pa ata ako nakakakita ng multo pero if ever man siguro nung high school haha
31. 1st man/woman you dance:
i don't dance
32. 1st movie you've watched on theater:
can't remember
33. 1st kiss:
...
34. 1st hug:
nanay ko siguro
35. 1st pc game you play:
crazy taxi. hindi siguro yun first pero masaya sya
36. 1st testimonial you receive on friendster:
hindi ko maalala at tinatamad akong tignan yung friendster ko
37. 1st site you visit when you started internet:
yahoo
Baby: sure mom
Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your answer?
Baby: thank you po!!!
________________________________
BF: may malaki ako problema.
GF: wag mo sabihin problema mo lang problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo. o ngayon ano problema natin?
BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama
________________________________
"There what it takes to be. Then we shall so be it because it is. To do or not to is in the what, now or what else. Without which there never to you!" - words of wisdom from Senator Lito Lapid.
________________________________
Pare1: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pare2: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Pare1: swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pare2: pare ako nanalo!
________________________________
Killer: father mangungumpisal po ako
Father: ano kasalanan mo?
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 tao
Father: bakit?
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po naniniwala ba?
Father: dati...pero ngayon trip trip na lang
________________________________
Patient: doc takot po ako sa bunot
Dentist: eto gamot pampatapang ng loob
Patient: (ininom ang gamot)
Dentist: ano matapang ka na ba?
Patient: oo doc! puta pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag ang bungo!
________________________________
Passenger taps taxi driver's shoulder...
WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! screamed the driver...
Passenger: bakit ka sumigaw?
Driver: sorry bossing bago lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25 years po kasi ako driver ng funenaria
________________________________
1 panget na babe, hinoholdap
Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na gamit mo!
Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: anong rape? holdap nga to eh!
Babae: wala lang! nagsusuggest lang...
________________________________
1 lasing nasalubong ang matabang babae na may kasamang aso
Lasing: hoy, saan mo nakuha yang baboy?
Babae: aso ito hindi baboy!
Lasing: huwag ka nga sumabat! yung aso ang kausap ko!
________________________________
In a pet shop...
Customer talking to a parrot...
Customer: hoy! can you talk ha?! bobo!!!
Parrot: yes i can!!! ikaw?! can you fly ha? GAGO!!!
________________________________
Priest: ang mga bakla'y walang lugar sa kaharian ng langit
Mga bakla: carry lang po father...dun na lang kami sa rainbow mag slide-slide!!!
________________________________
Bobo: pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter A
Pare: approachable?
Bobo: mali
Pare: amiable?
Bobo: mali pa rin
Pare: o sige siret na!
Bobo: ANEST wehehe!!!
________________________________
Girl: doc, pacheck-up po
Doc: sige hubad ka ng panty at bra tapos higa ka
Girl: hindi po ako, itong lola ko po
Doc: sige lola, hinga na lang po ng malalim
________________________________
Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na...ano ang balak mo itanim sa sakahan mo anak?
Anak: flowers papa!!! madaming madaming flowers! pretty diba?!
Whats your middle name?
vito cruz
What are you listening to right now?
the american analog set. pampa-depress lalo...
What is the last digit your cellphone number?
5
What was the last thing you ate?
butter coconut
How is the weather right now?
medyo maulan, medyo malamig
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
daniel
What is the first thing u notice in the opposite sex?
yung dating/appeal
Favorite type of Food?
italian and japanese
Do you want children?
someday
Do you drink?
yes
Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night?
hindi pa... pero i have lived the dream
Hair color?
brown/red
Eye colour?
dark brown
Do you wear contacts/glasses?
glasses, but i don't wear it. how ironic.
Favorite holiday?
christmas/new year... basta yung mahaba yung bakasyon
Have you ever cried over a girl/boy?
yes
Last Movie you Watched?
nobody knows. tangina lahat nalang depressing pati tong palabas na to
What books are you reading?
go west young fucked up chick by rachel resnick
Piercings?
7, sa tenga lahat
Favorite Movie?
me and you and everyone we know, 2046, garden state, lost in translation, y tu mama tambien, madami pa... yung mga pretentious at artsy fartsy
Favorite college football Team?
wala
What were you doing before filling this out?
watched dvd then took a bath
Any pets?
ngayon wala. miss ko na hamsters ko at mga doggy :(
Dogs or cats?
dogs
Favorite Flower?
wala
Have you ever loved someone?
yes
Who would you like to see right now?
...
Have you ever fired a gun?
yung laruan lang
Right-handed or Left-handed?
right-handed
If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
middle earth
Are you missing someone?
yes
Do you have a tattoo?
none
Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
not really
Are you hiding something from someone?
yes
firsts...
1. 1st time you tried smoking:
long ago
2. 1st alcoholic drink you had:
tequila and red wine
3. 1st time you entered a bar:
di ko na maalala
4. 1st award you received:
loyalty!
5. 1st hero:
shaider
6. 1st time you were sent to the principal for disciplinary actions:
never pa sa principal. mga warning warning lang
7. goal you accomplished:
i don't know
8. 1st crush:
can't remember... si tristan isidro lang naalala ko hahaha
9. 1st person who you gave flowers:
i don't think i did
10.1st friend:
mariel orbeta
12. 1st record you bought:
di ko na maalala pero alam ko jologs sya at cassette tape pa sya. isa na dun si joey lawrence, e.y.c at si donna cruz hahaha :))
14. first musical instrument you learned to play:
guitar
15. 1st local concert you watched:
sandwich ata
16. 1st celebrity you saw in person:
si katya santos ata
17. 1st TV show you really like?
ang tv!
18.1st book you bought:
can't remember
19. 1st sport you played:
basta lahat nung tinuro sa p.e.
20. 1st sleepover:
di ko maalala
21. 1st terrible fight:
mga pinsan at kapatid
22. 1st inaanak (first godchild?):
sean
23. 1st debut (filipino girly 18th bday)
sa ate ko ata
24. 1st bestfriend/s:
si mariel
25. 1st wedding you attended
sa tita ko ata
26. 1st person who greeted you on your last bday:
basta friends ko
27. 1st friend in friendster:
sabi ni pia sya daw hahaha
28. 1st cellphone:
motorola
29. 1st collection:
kisses
30. 1st tym u saw a ghost?
hindi pa ata ako nakakakita ng multo pero if ever man siguro nung high school haha
31. 1st man/woman you dance:
i don't dance
32. 1st movie you've watched on theater:
can't remember
33. 1st kiss:
...
34. 1st hug:
nanay ko siguro
35. 1st pc game you play:
crazy taxi. hindi siguro yun first pero masaya sya
36. 1st testimonial you receive on friendster:
hindi ko maalala at tinatamad akong tignan yung friendster ko
37. 1st site you visit when you started internet:
yahoo