public service announcement
deepan makes me a happier person, a better person. it isn't his physical presence per say, but the influence he has had (and continues to have) on me.
i'm not so afraid to try new things, and to fail.
last weekend we went rock climbing with deepan's engineering friends. it's something i've wanted to try for awhile now, but never got around to. this would also be a good time to tell you that i'm scared of heights. sometimes, even on the overhead bridge i feel a little uncomfortable. yes, it's that bad. but ok, i climbed. i got maybe 1/4 of the way up the wall before i freaked out the first time. everything looked so much smaller and i couldn't imagine going up some more, what a long way down. i wanted to come down, so deepan (as my belayer) got me down safe. after resting for awhile, i tried again and maybe made it halfway up before i started panicking again. deep encouraged me to try, and told me to take a few more steps up without looking down. i did it for awhile before i decided the heights were freaking me out. the third time around, i made it all the way to the top, and touched the ceiling. :) it was so difficult, i stopped a couple of times and wanted to come down but deep didn't let me off that easily. and with his help, i did it. and i know it was silly, but he squeezed my hand afterwards, grinned at me and told me he was proud of me. simple gesture, but that meant a lot, i was grinning for hours.
after the first time i got up, the subsequent rounds weren't an issue. now we're going rock climbing every other week. i'm still a little scared (of slipping while trying to grab hold and possibly falling to my death but hey, that's where trust comes in) but i know i'll get through it.
this is one of the many, many reasons why i love him. he's patient with me, encouraging, and he actually gives really good advice (perks of dating an engineer). the other reasons are pretty standard with other couples i guess (but still mean the world to me, of course). he's my best friend, he understands me so well even when i don't say anything aloud, he makes me laugh (and laughs with me!!), he is someone i greatly respect and he makes me feel all mushy inside.
i guess i just wanted to finally declare officially that deep's an important part of my life, i'm lucky to have him. oh, and that i'm super crazy in love with him. after months of studying this feeling, i conclude it's here to stay. :))
yay!