Murder in the Partridge Family Mansion
That's what music sounds like at the house (read the title of this post if you haven't). "Caustic," "B-Rad," and I have joined powers to create a band of unimaginable proggy/thrashy/hard rock power!!!! The name is Dere. Decadere. I think that's how it's spelled. It's Italian for a saying called "go to seed," which pretty much means shabby or not so clean.
I have too many papers coming and going these days. I mean a ridiculous amount. They are jamming themselves so far up my anus that I'm starting to look like that guy fortune machine where the wizard spews a fortune on a piece of paper from his mouth. That's how it worked in "Big" with Tom Hanks, right?
Speaking of big, my beard is getting to ridiculous lengths. I signed up for this charade last month when a passerby in the break room at work called me on my beard. David came to my aid to really let the asshole have it, and it was delivered with this choice line:
"[David and I] could grow our beards out for two weeks and we'd still look like white, hot balls of manly, sexual terror!!"
This proceeded to make everyone within earshot a little damp in the pants. Even kids that are too young to know what ejaculation means all of a sudden started leaking all over the place. Before a hot, random orgy could break out on the donor floor and in the break room at work, someone just had to go and step clear across the line.
"Kear Bear" decided to call me on my shit and said I couldn't last beyond that. The stakes were raised until 2008. Even this had "Kear Bear" cowering in fear that I might hold out that long. "Kear Bear" may have quite possibly made the dumbest mistake of her life.
I, Grant Poley, am a man of my manly word and I am already a month into this. I WILL NOT SHAVE MY MANLY COAT OF FACE UNTIL JANUARY 1ST, 2008!
David tried joining my beefy quest but alas, he had to shave it because it was getting itchy and I'm sure his wife was about to divorce him over it.
A word of advice: if anyone chooses to test my limits, get ready to have your genitals served to you on my incredible ham-fists of endurance.
You think William Shatner has gonads for making his career last this long. I will take this shit to the grave, mothafucka!!!!
I have too many papers coming and going these days. I mean a ridiculous amount. They are jamming themselves so far up my anus that I'm starting to look like that guy fortune machine where the wizard spews a fortune on a piece of paper from his mouth. That's how it worked in "Big" with Tom Hanks, right?
Speaking of big, my beard is getting to ridiculous lengths. I signed up for this charade last month when a passerby in the break room at work called me on my beard. David came to my aid to really let the asshole have it, and it was delivered with this choice line:
"[David and I] could grow our beards out for two weeks and we'd still look like white, hot balls of manly, sexual terror!!"
This proceeded to make everyone within earshot a little damp in the pants. Even kids that are too young to know what ejaculation means all of a sudden started leaking all over the place. Before a hot, random orgy could break out on the donor floor and in the break room at work, someone just had to go and step clear across the line.
"Kear Bear" decided to call me on my shit and said I couldn't last beyond that. The stakes were raised until 2008. Even this had "Kear Bear" cowering in fear that I might hold out that long. "Kear Bear" may have quite possibly made the dumbest mistake of her life.
I, Grant Poley, am a man of my manly word and I am already a month into this. I WILL NOT SHAVE MY MANLY COAT OF FACE UNTIL JANUARY 1ST, 2008!
David tried joining my beefy quest but alas, he had to shave it because it was getting itchy and I'm sure his wife was about to divorce him over it.
A word of advice: if anyone chooses to test my limits, get ready to have your genitals served to you on my incredible ham-fists of endurance.
You think William Shatner has gonads for making his career last this long. I will take this shit to the grave, mothafucka!!!!