Apr 18, 2008 12:17
i haven't updated in awhile.
i think it's fascinating how quickly things can change. and not just things; thoughts, idea's, plans, feelings, opinions...people. i feel like i shut my eyes for just a moment and when i opened them everything flip-flopped.
i feel like i should be freaking out, or having some sort of nervous breakdown. its the end of the semester, why am i so calm? the good thing is is that i'm not the only one who feels this way. i have had this conversation with many friends of sva and they agree. i think it's because we're all brain dead. you know when you have the stomach flu, and you puke so much, but your stomach still wants to empty, but you've got nothing left in it. so you just dry heave or puke bile. it's a gross analogy, but i think it's very appropriate.
i have come to the conclusion that art school is an extremely dangerous place. it's almost unhealthy in my opinion. it's an amazing journey for yourself and your work. but if your suicidal i don't recommend art school. i'm not suicidal. but there were times i crept so deep into myself and found nothing to give, OR found something remarkable, but it wasn't good enough or it was disagreable. and when that happens, that open window looks lovely and promising.
it's all a contradiction, which is suitable because that's what i am. i think most artists are.
through all of this, i have accomplished the impossible; a unique body of work. and i love that i'm not done with it. exhausted and in desperate need of a break, but i'm not at all done.
my next goal; underwater housing and the deep blue