(no subject)
Im sick of the people around here. Im sick of being treated like a shoe and only worn when in season and when they feel like it. They wouldnt care if i never spoke to them again. They dont even notice i spend half my nights alone with no one to talk to looking at my phone in the slight chance that maybe one of them cared and wanted to call and see how i was and possibly hang out. No its more likely that i will win the lottery and i cant because im underage. why am i not treated as an equal like im apart of the group. everytime i hang out with them i feel like i did 9 months ago like i dont know anyone and its just acquired. why cant i have one of those friends even if it is just one who calls me first and makes the iniative to hang out or who doesnt care if i call them to talk and doesnt try to blow me off or ditch me on purpose. Friend or friends who dont make me cry almost every weekend when im the only one not included because im invisible i dont exist to them. Im only there when no one better is and thats only to a few of them. why do i deserve to be crying because im sitting at home and no one wants to hang out with me or call me to see if im ok or say they are sorry for doing this to me. theyre not sorry cuz they dont know and they dont care. to them everything is fine in their perfect worlds. being in high school is about treasuring the time you have while you have it. going out having fun with friends just being young. i stay at home most nights and the nights i am out they sit around and talk about all their times together and middle school and low and behold i didnt go to middle school with any of them so i sit there dont speak and wish i was somewhere else. good friends are hard to come by and mine dont exist well there are a few but they have their own things goin on so why bother them with this stuff. i hope you all have a better night than im having.