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[__pixie_girl__]

im so glad its friday. i cant wait for this weekend its gonna be so much fun. i really dont want to have to quit my job but i have to...dont feel like explaining. well my morning started off kinda bad. i missed laurens call and she needed me. i feel really bad i didnt hear my phone ring. i miss her so much...she comes home in exactly a week!!! i

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[__pixie_girl__]

not sure what else to say...all of that has been going through my head. i just done understand thats all...i cried so much last night to justin and bryan and all i could say is i dont understand why doesnt she want me to be happy? and no lauren its not that i dont feel like i can turn to talk to you about bryan its i know i cant turn to you talk about him bc all it will do is cause a fight and you dont know how much its kills me. you say im not myself but lauren im more of myself around him than i have been around ne guy in a long time....and no lauren i dont act my usual self around him when you are near but that is bc i have feelings for him...im my complete self around ronnie and other guys like that bc im not attracted to them so i dont care what they think of me. so please dont tell me what i am and what im not around him. im sorry if all of this is sudden or harsh but its so much eaiser for me to type this bc it gives me more time to think and explain myself w/o you or myself commenting every 5 seconds to whatever it is that one of us is saying.