(no subject)
mann.. i dont even know wtf's going on with me. Im so confused and soo fuckin upset right now. Im going through soo much shit. Ive been upset and crying ever since i woke up. I had a horrible fucking dream last night.
I had a dream that the one girl that i fucking love the one that i miss soo much came up missing. And no one knew what happened to her. And it was all over the news and i was out looking for her everywhere. and then one of our friends finally found her but she was lying dead in a ditch somewhere. I fucking miss her soo much and love her so much. And it took this for me to realize all of this. I cant stop crying...
I mean i dont even know whats going on in my head. Shes like sayin shes in love with these 2 other people and if i try something then im just gunna be caught up in drama and im just gunna get hurt like always. We've been through soo much but i fucking love her soo much.
Idk if thats it or its becuz im fucking so alone. Im missing being in a relationship. I just want someone to be there. I want her to be there..
i dont even know what im fucking fighting for anymore. theres nothing for me. i mean i completely fucked up my life. if i go back to school i gotta wait another year to graduate. Im fucking stupid. I shoulda never dropped out. I mean andi had a chance too. Mr. Kell told me that if i picked my grades up and kept them there that he would knock off the absences. but im fucking stupid. I was pig headed. I didnt wanna be there. But now look where im at.
I have nothing. I have no1. I mean i fuckin rely i drugs and alcohol to make things better. to forget about everything. But it dont fucking work.
Im tryin to move on from everything. Im trying to ignore whats going on in my life but its not workin for me. I have nothing. Theres honestly no point for me to fight anymore.
im gunna go.. im talkin to britt...
I had a dream that the one girl that i fucking love the one that i miss soo much came up missing. And no one knew what happened to her. And it was all over the news and i was out looking for her everywhere. and then one of our friends finally found her but she was lying dead in a ditch somewhere. I fucking miss her soo much and love her so much. And it took this for me to realize all of this. I cant stop crying...
I mean i dont even know whats going on in my head. Shes like sayin shes in love with these 2 other people and if i try something then im just gunna be caught up in drama and im just gunna get hurt like always. We've been through soo much but i fucking love her soo much.
Idk if thats it or its becuz im fucking so alone. Im missing being in a relationship. I just want someone to be there. I want her to be there..
i dont even know what im fucking fighting for anymore. theres nothing for me. i mean i completely fucked up my life. if i go back to school i gotta wait another year to graduate. Im fucking stupid. I shoulda never dropped out. I mean andi had a chance too. Mr. Kell told me that if i picked my grades up and kept them there that he would knock off the absences. but im fucking stupid. I was pig headed. I didnt wanna be there. But now look where im at.
I have nothing. I have no1. I mean i fuckin rely i drugs and alcohol to make things better. to forget about everything. But it dont fucking work.
Im tryin to move on from everything. Im trying to ignore whats going on in my life but its not workin for me. I have nothing. Theres honestly no point for me to fight anymore.
im gunna go.. im talkin to britt...